Should I Call It Reckless?
"...What."
When I opened my eyes, there I was again — somehow nestled in Baek Eun-hwa's arms, same as always. The instant my vision cleared, a snow-white fox face filled it, and those unignorably prominent breasts came into view right along with it. I startled.
Had I really been that restless a sleeper?
I'd always slept alone until now, so of course I had no idea what my nighttime habits looked like... but given that my arm was wrapped around Baek Eun-hwa's waist...
"...Hmm."
I wriggled free as quietly as I could, shifting my small frame with as much care as I could manage. Waking up suddenly in Baek Eun-hwa's embrace had been a bit of a shock, but I couldn't exactly stay there forever.
"Yaaawn..."
Anyway. Once I was up, I started getting breakfast ready at a leisurely pace. I'd gotten far too used to sleeping at the home of an A-Class hero — Baekyeou. From the layout of the house to the furniture to the cookware, I knew it all by now. I couldn't help it.
Which meant breakfast was easy enough to put together. While the pasta water came to a boil I washed my face, then went and woke Baek Eun-hwa, who was still dead asleep.
"...You've been working hard since morning."
"Heh. You think so? I only did it for you, Eun-hwa. Please don't think of it as a hardship. I'll be eating it too, after all."
"...Thank you."
Baek Eun-hwa still looked half-asleep. Her eyes weren't quite open, her face caught somewhere between dreaming and waking — so different from her usual self that I found it a little cute.
"Is it good, Eun-hwa?"
"Yes."
Spending the morning with Baek Eun-hwa had become... pretty familiar by now. And it wasn't a bad thing. It wasn't even difficult. I'd just sautéed some garlic in oil and tossed in the noodles — a simple aglio e olio — and we ate it together. That was how the day began.
"Want to shower first?"
"Ah, would that be all right? I figured the homeowner should go first and be comfortable, so I hadn't said anything."
"We're not doing anything today anyway. Taking our time shouldn't be a problem."
"Ah, I see."
After we finished eating and I'd done the dishes in her place, that was the question Baek Eun-hwa asked. Even if we weren't going out today... you still have to wash at least once a day, right? Even if you're unemployed, washing once a day is... the right thing to do... right? If she told me otherwise, I wasn't sure I'd have a good comeback.
Anyway.
"Wouldn't it be better if you went first, Eun-hwa? If you wash after the bathroom's already wet... it gets slippery, and it's just not great in general, you know?"
"I don't mind."
"Hmm... still, making the homeowner wait feels a little..."
That was what Baek Eun-hwa said, but still. She was the homeowner. I couldn't help thinking it would be more comfortable all around if she went first.
"Then we can just wash together."
"...Huh?"
"You said waiting for the homeowner is a hassle. If we just wash together, neither of us has to wait. Convenient, right?"
"...What?"
And then came a suggestion from Baek Eun-hwa that I had never expected — never even imagined. I'd heard the words. They'd entered my ears. I just couldn't process them. To understand them would be... rather... that was...
"...What?"
It was hard to understand... you know?
"I mean exactly what I said. We just go into the bathroom together and wash. That's all."
"Wouldn't that be uncomfortable...?"
"The bathroom isn't even small."
"......"
"And we're both women. There's nothing to make a fuss about, is there?"
"......"
Well... that was technically true. But this was... how should I put it. How was I supposed to respond. For all sorts of reasons, my thoughts were naturally piling up, and I was far too flustered to figure out what to say to Baek Eun-hwa.
"Doesn't seem like there'd be a problem, right?"
"......"
...It was too hard to argue with any of that. And so, just as Baek Eun-hwa had said, I ended up walking into the bathroom with her.
It probably looked pretty pathetic for someone who'd lived a previous life as a man, but the situation was embarrassing enough that I kept a towel wrapped firmly around myself. Baek Eun-hwa wasn't naked either, of course. Once we were both inside, I had no choice but to keep my gaze locked firmly on the floor.
"Shall we wash?"
"...Yes, Eun-hwa."
I may have lived a previous life as a man, and I may be living in a woman's body now — but that didn't mean I was particularly used to women. Back in the orphanage, during my school years, I'd never had any experience of just... baring my body around girls my age. I'd always just done things separately, on my own. So of course meeting Baek Eun-hwa's eyes was... quite, considerably, extremely, enormously difficult.
"What is it?"
"Ah, nothing. You use the shower first."
"Okay."
...Anyway. That was how a thoroughly uncomfortable shower began.
The one silver lining was that Baek Eun-hwa's house was large, and the bathroom was correspondingly spacious. It wasn't as though there was nowhere to look. In fact, there were plenty of places to look that weren't Baek Eun-hwa...
"......"
...Though there were mirrors here and there, so I had to be careful about those.
Anyway. While Baek Eun-hwa used the shower first, I could occupy myself with other things, and I managed to keep from looking at her body the entire time she washed.
"...Excuse me."
"What's there to excuse? I'm just using the tub."
"Haha..."
...After somehow washing myself clean on my own, swallowing down the embarrassment, I quietly, slowly began to lower myself into the bathtub. Still covering myself with a towel, hiding as much as I could — and without looking at Baek Eun-hwa, who'd gotten in first.
"In all the time since I bought this house, I've never shared the bathtub with anyone. And now here we are."
"Same here. Aside from public bathhouses, I don't think I've ever shared a bathroom with someone like this."
Sharing a bathtub with Baek Eun-hwa was embarrassing, but the tub itself was genuinely wonderful. When you're soaking in warm water... of course your body goes all languid.
"Handler."
"...Yes? What is it?"
...I was melting into that comfortable warmth when Baek Eun-hwa came closer. Wearing... nothing.
"You said it yesterday. That we'd hold hands all day today. That's what you said."
"...I did say that, but... why bring it up now...?"
"I just realized we haven't held hands once since we woke up. Shall we start now?"
"...Right now?"
And then I was surprised all over again. Baek Eun-hwa was being far more forward than usual today — so much so that my head was starting to ache. In all the time I'd been assigned as her handler, she'd never once approached me like this. Why? For what reason...?
"Yes. We're just sitting here resting in the tub anyway."
"That's... true, I suppose..."
"So it shouldn't matter, right?"
I was considerably flustered, but... I'd been the one to say it. I'd been the one who'd smiled and made that promise yesterday. I...
"...Shall we, then?"
It was embarrassing, but I had no choice but to nod, however reluctantly, at Baek Eun-hwa's words. I'd brought this on myself. I had to see it through. If I backed out now and said I wouldn't do it after all, it would look completely absurd from Baek Eun-hwa's perspective — and in our counseling sessions afterward, it might even plant a seed of distrust toward me.
And so I took the hand of Baek Eun-hwa, who sat there with her snow-white body fully on display.
"Hmm..."
"......"
It was the same hand I'd held yesterday. Nothing different about it. But my face felt hotter than that hand ever could. My cheeks had gone past flushed and into burning. I wanted to run away, but for the sake of the hero I was assigned to... there was no answer except to endure.
"...Eun-hwa, is your stamina improving, little by little?"
"We held hands even while we slept. I feel much better than I did last night."
"That's... good to hear."
In the end, this was helping her. This fox who worked so hard for people every week, who ended up so exhausted because of it — this was helping her. The fact that I was embarrassed was a useless little detail I flung as far away as I possibly could.
"...If this is helping, then I'm glad."
"...Is that so."
So I just... whether it got more embarrassing or not... laced my fingers through Baek Eun-hwa's, increasing the points of contact. It was still embarrassing. It got even more embarrassing.
"I think I'm getting better and better, thanks to you."
"Haha... I'm glad."
"Handler, what are you planning to do after we finish showering?"
"Hmm... We decided to take it easy at home, so until lunch, maybe just watch some TV like normal...? While holding hands, of course."
"I see."
At any rate, it was true that Baek Eun-hwa's complexion was steadily improving. It really did look like her fox energy, her stamina, was being replenished. Not that I could see any kind of precise gauge or anything.
"Hmm..."
"What is it? You've been staring for a while."
"Nothing. Just looking at you like this, I thought you were smaller than I expected."
"...You're the tall one, Eun-hwa."
Sitting there in the tub, holding a fox's hand, soaking in the warmth — and then she said that. I was speechless. Yes, I was small, that was a fact. But a height over a hundred and seventy centimeters is pretty tall for a woman. And then she suddenly tells me I'm short... I couldn't help but be incredulous.
"That's true. I just... got that impression."
"You feel that way because you're tall, Eun-hwa."
"Is that it?"
"Yes. That's it."
On top of that, Baek Eun-hwa almost never talked about things like this, which made it even more bewildering. No. Just... setting aside all those miscellaneous reasons. Today, Baek Eun-hwa was more... should I call it reckless? Should I call it aggressive? In so many ways, she felt so different from usual.
It was really, genuinely, quite a predicament.