Chapter 361: That White and Red Rose (1)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 361: That White and Red Rose (1)
Yan had said it himself, of course.
That of everyone in the royal palace, Calian was the one with the least to do.
"That's a bit unfair. I'm actually quite busy."
He had a mountain of work to do.
He had to meet Sispanian to report that the Sea Dragon Arnayzel had obtained a fragment of the Axis of Time, and also to tattle on Arnayzel for using it so recklessly he'd nearly gotten him killed.
Of course, the latter was more important.
"I'm definitely going to tell Sispanian what that bright blue fish did."
"A fish?"
"Yes. A very nasty fish."
"Are you saying you're busy because you have to tell Sispanian what a fish did?"
"No, Yan. I have plenty of other things to do besides that."
He had to teach Yan the harmonica, spar with Demirea, show Ririe how to use both her hands, and continually instruct Franz not only in swordsmanship but also in the smooth manipulation of mana. Above all, he had to constantly oversee Kyrie's swordsmanship, which was evolving by the day. It was a critical period.
He also had to brainstorm with Eila about the new intelligence organization she was preparing and check if there were any issues with Euria's school or Melfir's trading company. From time to time, he had to receive reports on the situation in the Whitrin territory, and he also needed to meet with Siona.
And most importantly…
He had to decide what to give Hina for her upcoming birthday. Even if he gathered every beautiful flower on earth for her, wove the world's rarest gems into a necklace for her, and showered her with the most precious gifts from the night sky, the summer sea, the midday wind, and the winter forest, he would still feel it wasn't enough. And her birthday was only a few months away.
As for Arsen… well.
He could figure things out on his own.
"Even if you claim to be that busy, no one would believe you. After all, Your Highness never misses a single one of your three daily meals, or even your tea time. You even make sure to take a bath that lasts over an hour every single day."
"Didn't you once say you were glad I was eating well and getting plenty of rest?"
"I am glad. Of course I am. I'm just saying that's how it looks."
Yan, who elegantly sipped his roasted oat tea before setting the cup down, spoke as if to clear up any misunderstanding.
"When I saw Relic earlier, he was heading to Wilhelm Hall with a packed meal of bread, ham, and salad. It seems things are incredibly busy over there. He mentioned he was envious that Your Highness didn't seem nearly as occupied."
"It's not that I'm idle; it's that my brother is busier. Besides, he brought this on himself. Who told him to recklessly suggest a trip across the border?"
Apparently, the work at Wilhelm Hall had piled up—seriously backlogged, in fact.
He couldn't have left on that journey without knowing this would happen, so missing a few proper meals was a price he just had to pay. And while he did it to help Calian, that didn't mean Calian could help with his work at Wilhelm Hall. In any case, a man has to learn to take responsibility for his own actions, right?
As for Arsen, who had been dragged along against his will… well.
He could figure things out on his own.
"Come to think of it, quite a few days have passed."
He took a bite of a tuile. The thin cookie, baked from a lightly sweetened dough of almond flour and shredded coconut, produced a satisfying crunch. Its flavor paired wonderfully with the oat tea, which was similar yet distinct. After enjoying his leisurely tea time for a while longer, a relaxed expression on his face, Calian looked at Yan.
"Have the Duke and Duchess of Siegfried returned yet?"
"No, Your Highness. We received word that they should arrive within a few days. If you have something to convey to my father, I can check the exact date."
"No, not Duke Siegfried. I have something to discuss with Baroness Siegfried."
"My mother?"
"Yes."
Serie Siegfried.
Daughter of Margrave Kinz, wife of Suleiman, and mother to Yan and Demirea. The woman who oversaw the knight orders of the various cities that comprised the Siegfried Duchy. And above all, someone who was good at making candy and baking cookies, who enjoyed the occasional trip, and who loved hot springs.
When Calian mentioned Serie, Yan's face registered a brief flicker of surprise.
"Would you like to see her at the royal palace, or will you go to the Siegfried Mansion?"
Why he was looking for Serie, whom he hadn't met since his visit to the Siegfried territory for Roselita, or what he planned to discuss when they met—such things did not matter. The duty of the prince's attendant, rather than Serie's son or Calian's close confidant, was simply to organize the schedule. Nothing more, nothing less.
"I think it would be better to go to the Siegfried Mansion. Please let Relic know so we can coordinate our schedules."
"Will His Royal Highness the Crown Prince be accompanying you?"
"Yes. I'm arranging this meeting for my brother's sake, not mine."
"Yes, Your Highness. I understand. I will arrange the schedule as quickly as possible and let you know."
Hearing this, Calian let out a chuckle. As Yan's eyes widened in response, Calian spoke with a lingering smile.
"Yan. This concerns your mother. Why don't you ask? You can't even hide the curiosity on your face. It's perfectly fine to be curious about things like this."
Kyrie, Franz, and even Yan.
Why did they all live hiding their curiosity?
"I was worried I might cross the line again."
But that was Yan's answer.
And he used the word "again."
Calian's smile gradually faded.
Blink.
Blink.
Calian stared at Yan, blinking a few times in silence before casting his eyes downward.
"...I. To you."
Blink.
—Prying, always curious. You don't know when to let things go, always trying to interfere in every little thing, day after day. I don't like it. It's uncomfortable. It's annoying. Truly annoying.
...Blink.
—Now that you're a senior attendant, do you intend to act as my guardian? You? Why? Just how far are you going to cross the line?
Yes. He had said those things.
He must have.
"No, Your Highness. I spoke out of turn. I said something unnecessary without thinking."
"No, Yan. The reason I said those things…"
The memory of saying those things to Yan had just surfaced.
But he couldn't remember why. For what reason. Nothing came to mind, as if the memory were a blank sheet of paper. As if it had been deliberately erased, like a stain wiped clean from marble with a damp cloth.
"I didn't mean it. It wasn't like that. I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't. I knew I'd misspoken, but because I'd never apologized before, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just swept it under the rug and forgot. I shouldn't have forgotten. I should have told you that wasn't how I really felt."
But he knew at least that much for certain.
Though he couldn't know why the old Calian had said those things to Yan, he could tell they hadn't been sincere.
Though he couldn't know the reason.
He could tell that he had bitterly regretted those harsh words.
"I'm sorry, Yan. For hurting you."
On behalf of the old Calian, he spoke, unearthing the fragment of memory that had only now returned. He voiced the apology that had been meant to be delivered but never was. He finally offered the apology for the words that had almost been buried forever.
"...Yes."
Instead of saying it was fine or that there was no need, Yan simply nodded, quietly accepting the long-overdue apology.
"Then please, tell me. I'm curious why you wish to meet my mother instead of my father."
"Alright."
After all, Yan knew. He knew this Calian didn't find his interference annoying, that he welcomed his concern, and that he leaned on Yan's anxious attempts to protect him, despite knowing Calian was incomparably stronger. It had been a wound, yes, but watching this new Calian had allowed it to heal, bit by bit.
Rather than clinging to the past, Yan shook it off with his acceptance and took another sip of tea. Observing Yan's expression, Calian nodded as if relieved.
Soon, Calian manifested aura in the shape of two small swords. It was Sinasta, a form Yan was now familiar with. Holding them between his fingertips, Calian continued.
"My brother's sword splits into two like this, right? It can be used as a heavy sword like the one Demirea uses, or split into dual swords."
"Yes. I remember."
"But if you hold it like this…"
Calian then turned the two swords so their hilts touched. At his fingertips, they formed a long weapon with a handle in the middle and blades on both ends.
It was a combination Calian had already realized and taught once before, a method Franz had already used in his fight against Hina.
"It becomes a spear."
"Though it's quite different from a true spear, its length is much closer to one than a sword. But I'm not knowledgeable about weapons other than swords, especially long-hafted ones like this."
"Ah, is that why you want to meet my mother?"
"Right. The Brissen swordsmanship never properly taught how to use the sword this way. I thought it might be helpful for him to learn. It would be a waste to let this function of the sword go unused."
Franz was smart.
Anyone else might scoff at the idea of learning to wield a weapon with one's head, but Franz could do it. While his intellect alone wouldn't allow him to instantly awaken his aura and become a sword master, no one was better than him at learning and combining new techniques.
"Ah, then… he will be learning a way to develop Brissen's swordsmanship from someone of the Siegfried family."
"Exactly. That's why I'm being cautious, but I still want to meet her and talk about it."
"I understand."
As always, Yan readily agreed.
"Whether to help or not is my mother's choice. Since it's not something I, Demirea, or my father can interfere with, you should speak to her directly."
"Alright. Thank you."
The "thank you" followed like a habit.
"Yes. I'll let you know once the date is set."
"Yes. Alright."
Yan smiled and nodded.
"Yes."
After all, he thought, hearing "thank you" felt much better than hearing "I'm sorry."
*
There were a few things he had been making sure to do lately without fail: tackling his many tasks one by one, and eating plenty of meat-filled meals. And one more thing: sinking deep into the pitch-black onyx bathtub and letting his thoughts run free.
Tap, tap, tap.
He tapped the edge of the tub out of habit, then looked out the thick window that filled an entire side of the bathroom.
It was made of special glass that prevented anyone from seeing in from the outside. Beyond it, the night sky was visible. A slender moon and countless stars came into view, as if the moonlight had crumbled into petals. Normally, he would have been fully occupied admiring that magnificent sky while letting other thoughts drift, but today was a little different.
"Why can't I remember?"
It was because of the conversation he'd had with Yan during the day.
It was about the words Calian now remembered—words so harsh it was hard to believe his former self had uttered them. He couldn't remember when or why he had said them, and the effort to recall the memory felt incredibly strange.
"I don't think it's Serenti's doing…"
Hadn't he been told that if Serenti deliberately erased a memory, the victim wouldn't even realize it was gone? Since he knew a memory was missing, it couldn't be Serenti's work.
Tap.
He had never experienced a memory feeling 'erased' like this before.
It wasn't Serenti.
Not Serenti.
Tap, tap.
Then, there was only one other person.
"Calian," he murmured.
A call that would receive no answer lingered on his lips.
"What… and why did you hide it before you left?"
That small voice eventually flowed away with the water droplets on his fingertips and vanished, fading like crumbling starlight.
*
A rare drizzle had fallen and stopped. The rain had come and gone so silently that its arrival went unnoticed, leaving the dawn palace damp and chilly.
Swish!
A sharply thrust sword grazed right past Calian's Adam's apple. Magic lamps brightly illuminated the training ground, chasing away the pre-dawn gloom, but no light reflected off the blade that had just passed.
Without retreating a single step, Calian merely tilted his head back to avoid the sharp attack before immediately twisting his shoulders. A bright light flashed from the second sword as it followed without pause.
The red sword had split in two before he knew it.
The two blades slashed down without delay.
Clang!
Instead of pulling back, Franz quickly spun to block Calian's attack, his brow furrowing.
Thud!
He then took a heavy step back, the sound loud and deliberate. A low voice followed.
"Again. Why?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why are you lost in thought again?"
A smile played on Calian's lips.
A single strike that had faltered for a split second.
A single footstep that had paused for an instant.
Yan was one thing, but Franz, who had Calian's movements completely memorized, could no longer be fooled.
"Are you curious about why I have so much on my mind?"
"What else would it be?"
"Well… Brother. You might not know this, but I actually have a private life of my own."
"Where?"
Left speechless by the overly confident retort, Calian nodded.
"…Never mind. It must have existed at some point. Probably. I guess I just don't have one now. No private life."
Speaking grumpily, Calian withdrew his aura, feeling it would be difficult to continue sparring.
Then, with a click.
The two swords merged back into one. Franz sheathed Sinasta—now a single, heavy blade—and looked at Calian.
"Explain."
Now, then.
To translate those two words: he didn't particularly care whether Calian had a private life or not, but he was curious about what thoughts had distracted him so much that he'd nearly gotten his throat slit during a spar, so Calian had better explain.
Of course, this was Calian's interpretation.
In the end, Calian let out a long sigh as dark and rich as the coffee Alan loved to drink, and began to speak, his reluctance clear on his face.
"There's an erased memory."
"Serenti's doing?"
"No. The pattern is a bit different from what Serenti would erase."
"Then?"
"Previously, the memories I was curious about would usually come back to me, even if only faintly. But this time, I can't recall it at all. Unlike a memory simply being hazy or naturally forgotten, it feels like I'm blocked by a wall, as if it has been erased. It's as if… the old me deliberately chose not to leave it behind, handing over his memories to the current me with only that one part missing."
"What is it about?"
"Yesterday, I realized that the old me had said something to Yan that I shouldn't have. It's the memory related to that."
"What kind of words?"
Ah, seriously.
He was persistent.
"…Just. Harsh words. I said some harsh words. But I can't remember why I said them. I don't know what made me say things I didn't mean. I remember exactly that I said those words, but the reason doesn't come to mind."
"You said them to that precious attendant of yours. Then you of all people should know why."
"Yes. So I asked Yan, but…"
Trailing off, Calian opened his mouth again after a long pause. He then closed it, and after another long silence, spoke in a low voice.
"If you hear more, you'll regret it, Brother."
"Informal."
"Please stop listening. You will regret it."
Franz was not so lacking in curiosity that he would back down at such words. He gestured with his chin, a clear sign for Calian to stop dragging it out and just speak.
Letting out another deep sigh, Calian nodded and continued.
"He said I had asked if the morning tea was still being delivered to Brother Randel. And when Yan asked why… I told him not to interfere. I said that to Yan."
Having said this, Calian studied Franz's expression. Then, after parting his lips a few times, he spoke in a cracked voice.
"I might be overthinking things. It's a thought without any proof or basis, but…"
"…Let's stop the spar."
He should have listened when told he would regret it.
This time, it was Franz who wanted to end the conversation.
He squeezed his grip on Sinasta's scabbard and took a step toward the exit of the training ground.
Step.
Calian's feet moved a bit faster.
He blocked Franz's path and studied him once more.
"Brother. You said you had something you needed an apology for from Brother Randel. You said you would never tell me what that apology was for."
"I told you to stop."
"Could that, by any chance…"
A slightly tensed neck. Eyes cast lower than usual. Hands that had grown just a bit paler. Calian saw it all.
He saw Franz acting exactly like someone with something to hide. And Calian was not one to miss such things.
"The matter for which you need an apology from Brother Randel."
"It's not."
Franz's eyes sank, offering no explanation as to what 'it's not' referred to.
They sank deep.
He recalled the memory he had dug up, unable to suppress his own curiosity.
—I don't think it was just Calian.
—What are you talking about all of a sudden?
—Drinking the same tea every morning… You were the first, Brother.
Saying that strawberries, which he didn't even like that much, were delicious.
Saying he would drink the morning tea, which he didn't even like that much.
The same tea every day, the same tea every day.
—So I don't think it was just Calian. Mother isn't the type to discriminate in such matters.
—Speak plainly if you have something to say.
—The poisoned tea. You knew about it, didn't you? Weren't you also given it, Brother? It's just that you were able to cure yourself, wasn't it?
—Why are you curious about that? Your mother won't try to use poison anymore anyway…
—…You did know, didn't you?
—Yes. Though I did not expect her to do the same thing to the youngest.
—Why… did you hide it? When you knew where that same tea would go, why didn't you say anything?
—Did I not answer that I did not know? Have you resembled your mother even in closing your ears and only opening your mouth?
—The same tea. You should have thought about the fact that someone else was drinking the same tea. You should have warned him. You should have told His Majesty.
The white rose.
The white rose bush was already poisoned.
He should have warned him.
To prevent the poison from seeping into the grapevine, he should have warned him about the poison that had seeped into the rose bush.
—If I had spoken, would anything have changed? Do you think His Majesty would have stepped forward? Do you think your mother would have backed down?
In the end, he didn't know.
That the poison would seep even into the grapevine. He had not known.
He had not known.
"That matter you wanted an apology for. Is it, by any chance, related to me?"
"It has nothing to do with you."
Was the grapevine's poisoning really the fault of the rose bush?
Was it really because I did not reveal and warn about being tainted by poison…?
—Hasn't everything already worked out? So don't make a fuss. Nothing would have changed anyway.
Franz did not answer.
Calian wore a bitter smile.
"...Liar."
Because he couldn't have known the answer.