Chapter 208: Ghost (3)
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 208: Ghost (3)
Father.
He had done his best not to think of him.
On the rare days the man did cross his mind, Calian treated the thought like a callus—a healed wound that had only grown tougher. Though he had lost much because of his father, he had also gained much in return. He was living this new life with what he had gained, and that was enough. He had resolved to live that way, and he had. He didn't want to think otherwise, hadn't tried to, and couldn't have even if he wanted to.
He knew that snake of a man was alive and breathing somewhere on this earth, but he did his best to ignore that fact as well.
‘Congratulations in advance on your coronation.’
After all, the man would draw his last breath soon anyway.
Whether he managed to summon a healer from Tensil or not, his illness would worsen without any interference. That was what had happened in the ‘past.’
But.
Had he really not known?
Or had he simply wanted not to know?
– Because in that past, it wasn't going to happen 'anyway.'
That was all Arianne had said.
To his own dismay, Calian understood her words perfectly. He didn't need to ask for clarification or even take a moment to think. He understood instantly.
A drop of condensation trickled down the side of his teacup.
He stared at it blankly, and then—
"…Ugh!"
He retched.
He couldn't tell if it was anger, curses, memories, lingering attachments, self-reproach, or regret that he needed to vomit up. In truth, he couldn't distinguish one from the other, but he heaved, unable to suppress the bile rising in his throat.
Just as Chase had protected Bern by pretending not to see his shadow, hadn't he also ‘respected’ Chase by deliberately turning a blind eye to his darkness? If not, how could he have understood her words so immediately?
So, had Bern really not known?
Or had he desperately wanted not to know?
– The Crown Prince was determined never to tell you, and I had no intention of interfering, but things have taken a strange turn. I felt I had to let you know. I’m sorry for acting on my own judgment.
Perhaps sensing this wasn't something he could take lightly, Arianne spoke again after a long silence. She was explaining that she had taken it upon herself to reveal something that was meant to remain buried forever.
– Has something happened to Crown Prince Chase?
Hearing her apology, Calian barely managed to feign composure as he asked. If something terrible had happened to Chase, Teilan wouldn't still be at Arianne's estate, but he couldn't quiet the anxiety clawing at his chest.
– No. Nothing has happened yet. He’s in his office, sleeping. I put him to sleep so I could talk to you.
At that, Calian covered his face with his hands.
Even as his head spun, a hollow laugh escaped him. He muttered to himself, the words not carrying through the ring, "Ah, she put him to sleep again…"
Calian didn’t sleep when he had things to think about, and Chase couldn't sleep when his mind was troubled. As a result, Chase lived with chronic insomnia. Unable to bear watching him suffer, Arianne had always gone to great lengths to make sure he slept.
The problem was, the Sleep spell was not one Arianne could cast.
– Don’t do that too often. It’s not good for him to rely on sleeping draughts.
– Ah. Did I do that back then, too? Don’t worry. I plan to live a long, healthy life with the Crown Prince.
The exact same response as before.
He was suddenly reminded of the day he had arrived in this room, carried on Kyrie’s back. The day they had spoken of how often they had drunk together, and how Kyrie had carried Bern down from the spire every single time.
The day he had fallen asleep, the boundary between reality and the past blurring into nothing.
Feeling exactly as he had then, Calian fixed his gaze on the ice-cold mint tea Yan had painstakingly prepared. To avoid looking at anything else, he focused solely on the mint leaf floating on the surface, swaying gently.
He struggled not to confuse the past with the present.
Unfortunately.
– Anyway, I need to finish before the Crown Prince wakes up, so let’s get back to the point. Earlier, you asked why I would risk a civil war, but you’ve misunderstood.
As if peering directly into his thoughts, Arianne returned to their original topic.
– His Royal Highness sent Teilan to me solely to protect my mother and our family, not to clash swords with His Majesty. The Crown Prince can protect himself just fine, but I cannot, so I simply accepted Teilan’s protection. There is no other motive. We aren’t gathering troops. Above all, I plan to make just one person give up, and do it cleanly. Without any other blood being shed.
She meant she would make Devlan surrender his own life.
She would achieve that and that alone, without anyone else dying in the process.
– I don’t know if the King in the ‘past’ was better or worse, but the current King is an absolute bastard. Honestly, if His Royal Highness were to push him out, the nobles would rejoice, not rebel. There are quite a few who wish for exactly that.
This meant that Chase and Arianne had no intention of starting a civil war, and that the nobles wouldn't start one if Chase took the crown.
– Keep explaining. I’m listening.
– His Majesty doesn’t know that we know about his illness. He also doesn’t know we’re aware he’s the one summoning the healer from Tensil. I simply said that the assailant who attacked me was carrying a Tensil healer’s necklace. My mother, furious, is now blocking anyone from Tensil from entering Secritia even more strictly. We have never confronted His Majesty directly. Therefore, he won’t be able to send troops against us so easily.
Calian chuckled dryly.
They had established a perfect pretext.
Even if her reasons were personal, Marquis Lin’s hardline stance against Tensil was fully justified. Her daughter had nearly been killed; who could question the motives of a mother with the power to cut off such a threat at its source, even if her response was extreme?
– I will not use His Royal Highness’s sword. He seems to think it doesn’t matter, but it matters to me. You aren’t here right now. For him to do the same thing as in the past would mean taking the crown without a justification he could live with.
In the past, they would have killed the healer summoned by Devlan to avenge Bern or to protect him, but this time, no such justification existed.
If Chase directly involved himself in Devlan’s death when there was no Bern to rescue from the king’s thorny grasp, he would be nothing more than a son who obstructed his own father’s treatment to seize the crown.
– No matter how dissatisfied the nobles are with the current King, and no matter how wrong his methods are, interfering in His Majesty’s death to take his place would be a usurpation. And the Crown Prince I know is not someone who could bear that guilt. If you were here, he might have used you as his reason, but not now.
Even Bern, who had hated Devlan so deeply, had still called him father. Hadn’t he chosen a path that avoided raising a sword against him, even if it meant living a miserable life? Chase would be no different.
In the end, Chase was Devlan’s son.
Arianne was telling him that if the current Chase did the same thing he had in the past, he would spend the rest of his life crushed by the guilt of a son who had harmed his father without justification.
– I don’t want the man I love to get blood on his hands, only to be crushed by guilt for the rest of his life because he couldn’t find a reason he could live with. I don’t want to see his wisdom clouded by that guilt. Yet, His Royal Highness insists on doing it anyway. He says it’s so he won’t stand in your way. Because I understand him, I don’t want to stop him, but I also can’t stand by and watch him destroy himself.
She was absolutely right.
It was strange for the current Chase to rebel against Devlan over Bern. It was unacceptable for him to cause Devlan’s death because of Calian.
And Arianne was saying she refused to let Chase live consumed by that guilt. The Chase of now was a different person, and he shouldn't be starting a rebellion using an event that never happened as his excuse.
– So, this time, I will do it. The things His Majesty has done so far give me more than enough justification. But I realized I can’t do it entirely on my own. That’s why I contacted you for help. Honestly, I know how selfish I’m being, and I’m so sorry I don’t even know how to apologize, but I have no choice. My fiancé is more important to me than you are.
And Arianne had added those words.
She didn't want Chase to live with that guilt, and since she had ample reason to punish Devlan, she would act in Chase’s stead. Therefore, Calian had to help.
– There’s no need to be sorry. You aren’t being selfish.
Calian replied, a bitter smile on his face.
How could he possibly call her selfish?
– Tell me. What do you need help with?
– The healer from Tensil cannot come here. As I said, I will make absolutely sure of that. And His Majesty can’t fight the nobles head-on right now; he’s too sick. So, instead of ignoring the pretext my mother created and forcing a healer in, he might try to summon a different healer—one our pretext doesn’t cover.
Arianne paused for a moment.
As another drop of water trickled down the cup, she continued.
– He will definitely reach out. He’s a man who snuffs out others’ lives like candles yet considers his own life more precious than anything in the world. He’s the type who thinks that as long as he can summon someone to cure him, he can just kill us, bring us to our knees, or silence us afterward. But if the person His Majesty summons isn’t from Tensil, we have no justification to stop them.
Surely not.
– And His Majesty knows who that other healer is—the one who isn’t from Tensil.
Someone who didn't exist in the past but exists now.
The only person who was neither a Tensil healer nor an elf. The one person a cornered Devlan would reach out to.
– …Hina.
An amused chuckle escaped Calian as he murmured the name. Unable to hear him, Arianne delivered the conclusion to her long story.
– So, don’t come. No matter what reason His Majesty gives, no matter what excuse he makes, do not come. Make sure that healer you have with you never comes here. Please, this time, you be the one to turn your back on His Majesty.
Arianne was asking Calian to do what Chase never could.
– I’m sorry. Truly.
Calian quietly closed his eyes, holding his breath.
It felt as though the shadow of the past, which he had tried so desperately to ignore, was flickering before his eyes like a ghost.
* * *
The cry of a whale.
“I remember wondering why. Why such a massive beast would cry so sorrowfully.”
Yesterday, he had talked about stars falling from the sky. Today, he was talking about the cry of a whale heard from a starlit sea.
Why is he like this again?
“Would it make a sound like that if it cried while twisting its entire body? Or if it cried while having its own flesh torn away? How must one cry to make such a sound?”
Out of nowhere, he had asked if I had ever seen such a massive beast, then started saying that the cry of such a large creature was the most sorrowful thing in the world. All while sitting before a cup of pitch-black coffee.
Seriously, why is he like this again?
I had only just returned to my room, so why was this pitch-black bastard sitting here with a cup of pitch-black coffee, looking at me with eyes as dead as charcoal? Without a word of explanation, he had just started talking about the cry of a whale.
“Curious, I climbed a high cliff. I couldn’t bring myself to board a boat to get closer, but I watched the moonlit, shimmering sea from afar.”
As he spoke, Calian raised a slightly cupped hand to eye level, then moved it slowly up and down, mimicking something moving through water.
“It was just slowly rising above the surface and going back down. Breathing and swimming. It looked so peaceful that I wondered again if that beast was truly the one making that cry.”
This wasn't the Calian who had spoken to Franz in the dungeons of Heisia Palace. This was just Calian, telling his own story. Recognizing this, Franz sat down opposite him without a word, content to listen.
He didn't ask why he was acting this way again, or what had happened to make his face so miserable.
“You can’t hear that sound unless you keep your mouth shut and watch quietly. It doesn’t show on the outside. I almost lived my life without ever knowing the cry of a whale. But there was a day I felt it was a great relief that I learned that silent beast could cry like that, and that I could share in its sorrow.”
Calian stared down at his untouched coffee before raising his head to look at Franz again.
“I heard that sound here once, a long time ago.”
Franz simply closed and opened his eyes slowly.
Calian, not expecting a particular answer, continued.
“Because I remembered that day, I tried to think of it as a relief that I heard the whale’s cry again. A relief that I didn't pass by without knowing. But today, I heard that sound once more, from a little farther away.”
Even without seeing it, he knew what it was.
Franz also knew that the giant sea beast, said to be so peaceful, had to break the surface to breathe. He knew that while it could not survive out of the water, it had to endure the contradiction of thrusting its head into the open air just to live.
“I don’t know if I should think of it as a relief this time, too, or if I should regret not just passing by without hearing anything. Or if I should resent my own ears for only now understanding that sound. I just don’t know.”
So, was it Franz and Chase who had made the whale’s cry? Or was it Calian, who had come up to breathe in a place filled with a poison he could neither swallow nor spit out?
Instead of trying to answer, Franz simply offered the same words he had yesterday.
“Eat before you go.”
Because even with his clever head, he couldn't figure out the right answer. So he was telling Calian to just fill his stomach today, just like yesterday, since that brain of his always got hungry when he used it.
Calian stared at Franz for a long moment, then lowered his head and burst into laughter.
“He’s telling me to eat again.”
He couldn’t fathom what went on inside that youthful head, which seemed to conclude he was hungry no matter what happened. As he laughed, he realized he really did feel hungry, so he just kept laughing.
All the while, he ignored the light green eyes that, having run out of barks, now seemed to be asking if he had just spoken informally to him.