Chapter 54: Confession(1)
Chapter 54: Confession(1)
The day broke, and with it, my newfound resolve. I had no major exams today, only assignments to submit, so I had plenty of time to talk with my acquaintances.
Originally, I had prayed for nothing to happen, but after experiencing various incidents, I changed my mindset. Instead of wishing for a quiet life, I decided to develop the ability to handle whatever comes my way.
I chose to cultivate my own strength rather than rely on my family. Setting such a goal naturally made me feel tense.
Regardless, my priority was to ask Cecile about what happened yesterday. What exactly was her intention when she tried to seduce me? She hadn't even presented any proper evidence, yet she acted so boldly that I was beyond flustered—I was utterly bewildered.
And...
After much agonizing thought, I had also changed my mind regarding how to handle Mari. If I truly cared for her, I had to ensure she wouldn't be hurt later when the secret eventually came out.
At the very least, I didn't want a woman who liked me to suffer because of my indecisiveness. Unlike the others, Mari didn't even suspect I was the author of Xenon Biography, which meant she might feel a profound sense of betrayal if she found out later.
She might wonder if I trusted others more than her. She might ask why I couldn't share that secret with her.
Our relationship was one I had built with great effort after a chance encounter, and I was terrified it might crumble all at once due to my complacent judgment. Moreover, Mari was quite sharp; she might have already sensed something was off.
Above all, I had already hurt her yesterday. Even from my perspective, seeing the person you like alone with another man is bound to be painful.
For now, let's just get through class.
With a firm resolve, I headed toward the lecture hall. My first class was Philosophy, a course I shared with Mari, Cecile, and Lina.
I wasn't sure about Lina, but since Mari and Cecile had talked privately yesterday, there was bound to be a significant change. I wondered if I could handle it wisely, but I had no choice but to trust myself.
If I didn't, this situation would likely keep repeating itself. Things would get tangled, and both I and the people around me would end up in an awkward position.
I was reinforcing my resolve internally when I finally reached the lecture hall.
"Oh."
"Ah?"
As luck would have it, I ran into Cecile right in front of the door. She seemed just as surprised as I was, her eyes widening in a circle.
While I struggled to find words in the unexpected encounter, Cecile offered a soft smile and greeted me in a gentle tone.
"Hello. Good morning."
"Ah... yes. Good morning."
"Hehe."
When I greeted her back, feeling a bit dazed, Cecile let out a light chuckle. Seeing her smile reminded me of yesterday's events, making me feel unnecessarily embarrassed.
As I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling a bit shy, Cecile gazed at me intently before speaking quietly.
"I am truly sorry about yesterday."
"Pardon?"
"I shouldn't have acted that way toward you, of all people... It was my fault. I apologize again."
I couldn't hide my confusion at her sudden apology and her use of formal language. What kind of change of heart had she experienced for her attitude to shift so drastically?
But that wasn't all. With her characteristic playful smile, Cecile bowed her head deeply to express her sincerity.
To anyone watching, it was a perfectly polite gesture and greeting.
I couldn't help but voice my confusion at her incomprehensible behavior.
"...Why are you suddenly acting like this?"
"From now on, when it's just the two of us, I will treat you this way. You are the benefactor of our Demon race, so you deserve to be treated accordingly."
"......"
"Shall we go inside, then?"
I had no idea what was going on. I stood there blankly, watching Cecile's back as she smiled brightly and entered the classroom.
As she said, there was no one else at the door but us... but the formal speech felt a bit much.
It felt as if the distance between Cecile and me, which had been closing, had suddenly widened in a subtle way. Since she was usually so playful, the discrepancy felt jarring.
A benefactor, huh...
It wasn't entirely incomprehensible. Yesterday, Cecile had said that the author of Xenon Biography was a benefactor who had fulfilled the long-cherished wish of the Demons.
Furthermore, she had expressed her willingness to offer her own body if she ever met that benefactor. It made sense that her attitude toward me would change.
Normally, I would have been flustered and told her not to do that, saying she could just speak casually and joke around as usual, but...
...What is this?
A strange tickle brushed against my heart. A Demon princess treating me with such utmost respect after learning my identity—how should I even describe this feeling?
If she hadn't apologized for yesterday, I might have thought her shameless, but she had even apologized for that. And with a deep bow, no less.
I stood frozen at the door for a moment before quickly snapping out of it. There was something more important than Cecile right now.
Still, somehow...
I couldn't tell if I felt good or not. It was a delicate feeling.
With those thoughts in mind, I stepped into the classroom. As soon as I entered, a familiar face in the front row caught my eye.
It was Mari, resting her chin on one hand with a pouting expression as if she were dissatisfied with something. It was obvious at a glance that she was in a foul mood.
Perhaps that was why the ticklish feeling vanished instantly, replaced by a surge of tension. Mari's mood was undoubtedly because of yesterday.
Be natural... just be natural...
I suppressed my racing heart and approached her. I was a bit late today, but Mari had arrived quite early, so the seat next to her was empty.
As I drew closer, she must have sensed my presence, as her gaze shifted from the desk to me. I expected her to react coldly because of yesterday.
"...Isaac!"
That was, until her blue eyes widened and she greeted me warmly. She even waved her arm vigorously.
I was momentarily taken aback by her cheerful demeanor when I had expected her to be despondent, but I soon found myself smirking. It was just so like her.
However, the fact remained that I had made a mistake by failing to consider her feelings, so an apology was still necessary. Even so, the heavy weight that had been crushing my heart lightened just a little.
"Hey."
"Yeah, hi!"
When I greeted her with my usual bluntness, Mari responded with a bright, sunny smile. I thought her beaming face was truly adorable.
Just as I sat down and pulled out my notebook...
"Did you get home okay yesterday?"
I froze at her question. Her voice was bright, but I could swear there was a hidden edge to it.
I looked over and saw her smiling radiantly, as if nothing were wrong. To a stranger, it would look like a beautiful smile, but not to me.
Mari probably didn't realize it, but the corners of her mouth were trembling slightly. It was a forced smile, meant to hide her anxiety.
She was pretending to be fine on the outside, but she was clearly dwelling on it. I thought carefully about how to respond before opening my mouth.
"I got back fine. What about you?"
"Oh, you know..."
Her voice trailed off as she glanced behind her. Her gaze landed on Cecile, who was currently chatting with Lina.
"...I got back fine too. Nothing happened."
"Is that so?"
That was a lie. When she looked at Cecile, her eyes had darkened for a brief moment.
It seemed she was acting this way because she didn't want our relationship to become awkward. The more she did that, the more my guilt toward her grew.
Because of that, I felt glad I had made my decision. She wouldn't have to be hurt anymore.
"Oh, by the way, Isaac, have you seen Volume 9 of Xenon Biography that came out recently?"
As I struggled to hide my bitterness, Mari asked the question, seemingly trying to change the atmosphere. Since I had anticipated this, I nodded without any hesitation.
"Of course I read it. Since the publisher introduced that new technology, copies have been constantly available starting from this new volume, right? Have you read it?"
"I read it yesterday! I was so shocked by the concept of the Seven Deadly Sins. The more I read Xenon Biography, the more I wonder what goes on inside that person's head. And..."
That person is right in front of you. I swallowed the thought and watched Mari chatter away with a warm smile.
Watching her like this, like a small, cute bird chirping, made me feel at peace. I really was a piece of work for hurting a girl like her.
I watched her talk excitedly to herself for a while before quietly speaking up.
"...Mari."
"Yeah? What is it?"
"How much value do you think the author of Xenon Biography holds?"
Mari blinked her large eyes a couple of times at my question, then looked down. She seemed to be organizing her thoughts.
In the meantime, I rested my chin on my hand and waited patiently for her to speak. I planned to ask Lina and Leort this question as well if I got the chance, but I started with Mari since she was the person I felt most comfortable with.
It might have felt sudden to her, but it didn't matter. I was planning to meet with her privately during lunch or after all the classes were over anyway.
Before long, Mari tapped her cheek with her index finger and shared her thoughts.
"Well, speaking not as 'me' but as a member of the 'Rekilis Family,' I'd say not just our family, but even the Empire wouldn't be able to touch him easily. The influence the author has on the world is terrifying."
"Is it really that much?"
"Of course. Especially our Empire and the Kingdom of Tayros—they must be desperate to recruit the author. When it comes to culture, they're practically in a shadow war to claim it for themselves. Nothing is as effective as culture when it comes to governing a nation's internal affairs."
"Culture, huh..."
Putting it in terms of culture made it easy to understand. To use an example from my previous life, there was China.
China was once praised as a cultural powerhouse, but they made a massive historical mistake and threw all that culture away. Because of that, even when they grew enough to compete with the United States later on, their lack of cultural soft power held them back.
Of course, the censorship and coercion of the Chinese government were the biggest problems, but if that one event that ruined their culture hadn't happened in the first place, China would have truly become a superpower that no one could stop.
...It is a bit scary.
The idea that a nation's culture could develop significantly just because of my existence—what a terrifying power that was. Furthermore, this world was modeled after the Middle Ages, so they would value culture even more.
As I was thinking that, Mari stared intently at my face and offered another opinion.
"And the books the author writes could become weapons. Just as he changed the perception of the Demon race, changing the perception of other races would be a piece of cake. Of course, the author probably doesn't intend that, but it's very dangerous."
"Dangerous?"
"Yes. If he's not careful, harmful ideologies could spread far and wide. That's why the state has no choice but to take a deep interest."
That made sense; there were no smartphones here, let alone the internet. Ultimately, the means of transmitting information were limited, with newspapers being the primary source.
For someone like me with a narrow social circle, newspapers were the only way to know what was happening in the outside world. I had no way of knowing if the information was fabricated or the truth.
So, listening to Mari, it meant the books I wrote could be used as a tool for spreading ideologies. Naturally, I couldn't help but frown.
I just want to write interesting books...
I was someone who was far, far removed from politics. In my past life, I was just a fresh graduate who had barely started my career. The thought of entering the complex world of politics made me feel sick.
But as I had said before, since things had turned out this way, avoiding it every time wasn't the answer. I had to at least prepare countermeasures so that I could write the books I wanted.
To do that, I had to build up my own strength.
"But why are you asking that?"
As I was making my internal resolve, Mari tilted her head, expressing her curiosity. I gazed at her face for a moment before speaking carefully.
"Mari."
"Yeah?"
"Do you... have time today?"
I hesitated for a moment, then gathered my courage to ask her.
"There's something I want to talk to you about."
Perhaps because the words were prone to misunderstanding...
"...Eh?"
Mari's pale face rapidly turned beet red.