Chapter 430: Failure(4)
Chapter 430: Failure(4)
I felt a bit lightheaded at Mari’s comment about me being in my forties and yet still acting like a child. It was true that even with the memories of my past life, I did occasionally show a childish side.
But that wasn't all. My mother, perhaps reminded of something by Mari’s words, asked a truly awkward question.
"Then do you remember being a baby? Like when I breastfed you or changed your diapers?"
"…No. I don't remember that. I only began to have a clear sense of self when I was three years old."
This wasn't a lie; it was the truth. I have almost no memory of being unable to control my bowels or nursing at my mother's breast. I only have a vague, flickering sense that such things happened. Back then, whether I was reincarnated or not, my brain couldn't process much, and I was driven purely by instinct.
Still, I can safely say they weren't pleasant memories. Setting aside the fact that I couldn't control my own body, the inability to control my bowels was the absolute worst. Even at three, I still had accidents, and I remember feeling so embarrassed I thought I’d die every time my diaper was changed.
"No wonder. Isaac was always so precocious. He was a far cry from the 'terrible threes.' He was so smart and well-behaved; now I know why."
"Usually, the youngest child in a family like ours tends to be a bit of a brat, but he never was," Dave added.
"I was amazed at how early he learned to speak," Nicole said. "As soon as he mastered the language, he started reading difficult books. It all makes sense now."
Those were the comments from my mother, Dave, and Nicole, respectively. At the time, they probably just thought I was a prodigy, but now that the truth was out, they were nodding in realization one by one.
Then, my father, who seemed to be deep in thought, spoke up in his characteristically deep voice.
"So, Isaac. Were you a writer before as well?"
"Yes. I lived as a writer in the world I came from, too."
"Hmm. I see."
My father's reaction was somewhat unique. He nodded as if he understood, but his expression held a hint of… regret? Seeing my puzzled look, he scratched his temple sheepishly and gave a reserved reply.
"It’s just… I was thinking that if you had been a man of martial arts in your past life, you might have grown into a magnificent knight. Your body was weak, but even as a child, you were obedient and quick to understand things."
"Oh, honestly. If that were the case, the Isaac we know wouldn't exist," my mother chided. "And he wouldn't be telling us all this, either."
"I know, but a father can still wonder."
It seemed he still harbored a lingering desire to raise me as a knight. As he said, he understood it intellectually, but since my body couldn't keep up, he had given up on the idea. Back then, my body wasn't as sturdy as it is now, and as the youngest, I was treated with extra care—though by my standards, the training was still grueling.
Thanks to that, however, I gained a level of concentration that rivaled my physical endurance, so it wasn't a total loss. Most importantly, it taught me 'sincerity.'
I smiled faintly and began to share snippets of information about Earth.
"The world I lived in is very different from this one. There are wild animals, but nothing you’d call a monster, and the only race is humans. Furthermore, there is no mana or magic. Instead, it’s a world where science and culture are extremely advanced."
"What? No monsters?"
"Only humans? No mana or magic either?"
"How can science and culture develop without mana or magic?"
Just as I expected, they all reacted with disbelief. To them, mana, magic, and monsters were the most basic facts of life—the very elements that governed the world. They firmly believed that science and culture were only possible because of mana and magic. After all, even a simple refrigerator couldn't be made without magic here.
Amidst these skeptical reactions, only Mari had a different response.
"Is that what you were talking about with Mr. Musk before? A world without mana or magic?"
"You remember that?"
"It was such a bizarre story, of course I remember. So you could think of such things because you came from a place like that. It feels like the puzzle pieces are finally clicking into place."
Mari nodded as if she finally understood, a long-standing curiosity finally satisfied. Then, as if something had just occurred to her, her eyes widened and she asked urgently.
"Then what about the question you asked the professor a year ago? About twelve ships defeating over a hundred?"
"You remember that too?"
Now it was my turn to be surprised. She remembered something I had said to a professor during my first year at the Academy. I had asked that question because I was curious if such an overwhelming numerical disadvantage could be overcome even in a world with mana and magic.
I had skipped over the World Wars because of weapons like tanks and fighter planes, and the only comparable event was the Battle of Myeongnyang.
The answer I’d received back then was that it was impossible. Even with various explanations, the professor had insisted that victory would be impossible even if a 'Messenger of God'—an Incarnation—were present. The professor had been polite, but in reality, the response was basically, 'What kind of nonsense is that?'
"Of course I remember. My memory is pretty good—though not as good as Cecile’s—and it was such a far-fetched story. Did they really win?"
"Yes."
"How? Without mana or magic? And in the Curse of the Sea, no less?"
"I don't know, and neither do his descendants. I'm not lying; they just won."
Of course, there were technical differences between the Panokseon and the Japanese ships, but 'common sense' dictates that one should be helplessly crushed by such overwhelming numbers. There are even records stating that at first, Yi Sun-sin’s flagship fought alone. The other ships only joined in once it looked like they might actually win.
Yet, the Joseon Navy suffered virtually zero losses, while the Japanese Navy was utterly decimated, losing total naval supremacy. Despite endless research and numerous hypotheses, no one has found a definitive answer, so how could I possibly know?
Mari looked skeptical at first, but after using her mind-reading ability to confirm I was telling the truth, she shook her head in disbelief.
"No wonder people wouldn't believe it. Even if you wrote a book about it, no one would buy it. You’d just get criticized for making the protagonist too overpowered."
"Regardless, there are records of the victory. Furthermore, that man didn't just win that battle; he turned the tide of the entire war."
"From the enemy's perspective, losing a battle they absolutely should have won would certainly do that. However, given the dire circumstances, they must have suffered extreme losses beforehand," my father added, supplementing my explanation. I had only described the situation, but he had perfectly grasped the context.
As he said, the Joseon Navy had suffered a crushing defeat at the Battle of Chilcheollyang due to Won Gyun’s 'hard trolling.' As a result, the navy had been scattered. Admiral Yi Sun-sin had even been stripped of his rank and was serving as a common soldier due to the King's displeasure. Despite all that, he regained perfect control of the navy and led them to victory.
The irony was that the Japanese army won the battles they couldn't lose and lost the one they couldn't possibly lose. From the Japanese perspective, it’s no exaggeration to say that if it hadn't been for Yi Sun-sin, the conquest of Joseon would have succeeded long ago.
"Anyway, that story is from about four hundred years before my time. As I said, it’s a world where science and culture are far more advanced than here, so there are many things that might not make sense to you."
"For example?"
"Would you believe me if I said humans created machines that can fly through the sky? Not only that, but they sail the vast oceans in ships made of steel without the need for wind or waves. And even more, they can talk to people all over the world using a device no larger than the palm of their hand."
It was the same question I had once asked Lina. And their reactions were much the same as hers.
"I find that hard to believe."
"With only science and no magic? Is that even possible?"
"That’s nonsense. Even a refrigerator is impossible without magic."
"If that’s not magic, what is it?"
When I told them these things were achieved through science alone, without magic, they couldn't believe it. Or rather, they couldn't believe it. Even with magic, flying through the sky is something only high-level mages can do.
The idea of flying in a machine was completely beyond their imagination. This was especially true regarding the sea. My research into this world's oceans had revealed that their navigation skills were abysmal. Even their shipbuilding capabilities were outdated. Because the sea was considered the home of demons and was crawling with sea monsters, people—even Elves—were terrified of it.
Despite the existence of magic, think about how a tiny island nation like the United Kingdom transformed into the British Empire. While there is a saying that those who rule the sea rule the world, this world has stagnated because of an extreme fear of the ocean.
Since their basic navigation is a mess, even inventing a steamship might not have much of an effect.
That was just my thought. To the people of this world, the sea was truly the Great Unknown. Even on Earth, where science is advanced, the sea is often described as an endless mystery, so their fear was perfectly normal.
Regardless, I moved on from the sea and continued my explanation to my family, who still looked incredulous.
"In my world, those things were possible. You know the steam locomotive described in the Xenon Chronicle? By the standards of the era I lived in, that’s practically an ancient relic. There are trains far more advanced than that."
"Hmm… It’s hard to grasp just from words. Can you explain with a drawing?"
"Of course."
At my father's request, I drew an airplane, a steamship, and finally, a mobile phone in my notebook. These were objects from a completely different world, things they had never seen before. Mari and my family focused on my drawings with intense interest. I made sure to explain them by comparing them to the common sense of this world so they could understand more easily.
The explanation for the mobile phone was the easiest, as communication crystal balls exist here. The others were a bit more difficult because I was a humanities major with only a superficial understanding of science, making detailed explanations tough.
"And these are distributed to individuals? Even commoners can easily own one?"
"Only the mobile phones are widely distributed. The others are operated by the state or corporations—essentially nobles or merchant guilds—for specific purposes."
"Hah… If even communication is this easy, I can't even imagine how monstrous their armies must be. Machines that fly freely through the sky, and ships and navigation that allow them to sail the seas at will."
My father shook his head, unable to even fathom it. The others also looked dazed or uncertain, finding it hard to believe. Mari was looking on with wonder, her index finger pressed to her lips. She believed my words completely, but she didn't seem particularly interested in the objects themselves. Her interest was solely on me as a person. To her, it was likely like experiencing a 'fantasy.'
"Has a war ever broken out in such a world? I imagine all sorts of strategies and tactics would be used, and the loss of life would be extreme."
"Yes. About eighty years before the time I lived in, World War II broke out."
The Gulf War could be considered a modern war, but I didn't mention it because it wasn't a back-and-forth struggle; it was a one-sided victory for the US military. Besides, they already had enough difficult things to process; explaining the Gulf War would probably make their heads explode.
Meanwhile, my father was about to nod at my words when he noticed something strange and spoke with a bewildered expression.
"…The Second? And a World War?"
"Ah."
As my father muttered in dismay, I scratched my head awkwardly. Had I accidentally given a spoiler? If you think about it, it’s the same as another Race War breaking out, so his reaction was perfectly understandable. The problem was that the gap between the First and Second was only twenty years. I hesitated for a moment, then looked around and spoke.
"Should I explain? As I said, I’ll be writing about it in my next work, but it’ll be more interesting if you have some background knowledge."
"I'm honestly curious. For us, it would be like another Race War breaking out."
"Tell us. But don't give away any spoilers."
"I'm curious about the weapons. Do they use cold steel like we do, or something else?"
True to their knightly lineage, they showed intense interest as soon as the topic of war in another world came up. Even Mari and my mother seemed interested, though they seemed more focused on the fact that it was another world. War is horrific and hopeless, but in a fantasy setting, it’s a different story. Besides, given the era, there was a strong tendency to view war romantically.
My father, on the other hand, was quite serious. Having experienced PTSD firsthand during his active service, he couldn't help but be cautious when it came to war.
I decided to explain while avoiding spoilers as much as possible, so I started by drawing a map. I could draw a world map well enough even without Mora's help.
"First, this is a map of the world I lived in. Where I lived was…"
"What? You can draw a world map just like that?"
"Are you sure you were just an ordinary person?"
"…?"
The immediate reactions to my drawing left me puzzled. My family looked at my face, let out a breath of disbelief, and muttered as if they were exasperated. Nicole was the first to speak.
"Right. I guess that’s why you could write the Xenon Chronicle."
"I’m starting to feel a bit inadequate. What kind of world is it? A commoner writes the Xenon Chronicle and can draw a world map from memory? You could practically manifest an entire world."
I laughed awkwardly at Dave's words. I couldn't even imagine how he’d react if he were introduced to 'video games.' He’d probably lose his mind. It was a small mercy that films had only recently been invented. Still, in my eyes, magic seemed more like a cheat. Although it was slowing down scientific progress, its potential was bound to explode someday.
Next, before explaining the background, I pointed to South Korea, where I had originally lived.
"Before I explain, this small peninsula is the country I lived in. However, it’s a divided nation, so it’s effectively an island. Usually, the top is called North Korea and the bottom is South Korea. The official name of the country I lived in is the Republic of Korea."
"It certainly is small compared to other regions. It’s similar to the Stavirk region of the Empire."
"But a divided nation? Did a civil war break out or something?"
Nicole asked urgently, sensing something significant. The others also turned their attention to me, having realized the same thing. As she said, it’s a divided nation that went through a civil war, but there’s no major threat—aside from the occasional missile launch whenever they want more rice.
"Yes. Because of that, it’s still under a ceasefire. The war hasn't officially ended."
The room went silent at the mention that the war wasn't over. I blinked at the sudden change in atmosphere and looked around. Everyone was looking at me with eyes full of pity and sorrow. Even Mari was squeezing my hand tightly.
As I sat there, eyes darting around, my mother was the first to speak. She was looking at me with eyes that had already begun to well up.
"Don't tell me… that accident where you lost your parents… was it because of the war?"
"War always results in so many casualties…"
"And a civil war… it must have been even worse."
It wasn't like that. They really did die in a car accident. As the misunderstanding deepened, I spoke up quickly. If I let this continue, I’d be stuck in an inescapable pit of pity.
"N-no, it’s not like that. The civil war broke out long before my parents were even born. And because the ceasefire has lasted so long, there’s almost no impact from the war anymore."
"I-is that so? That’s a relief… wait, no it isn't."
"Pardon?"
My mother started to say it was a relief but then corrected herself. At least by my standards, it was truly fine, but apparently not for her. It wasn't just my mother; the others felt the same way. Nicole and Dave were avoiding the subject entirely, and my father looked troubled, as if he didn't know where to begin.
Naturally, I was bewildered. I hesitated to speak, wondering if I had missed something.
"…Isaac."
"Ah, yes, Father."
"Even if it’s a long ceasefire, being in a state of war creates a severe imbalance in a country. You must have suffered as well. Think carefully."
"Uh… rather than suffering, I was conscripted… I guess…?"
The atmosphere became even more somber at the mention of conscription. My mother was on the verge of tears. My father also looked distressed; he let out a deep sigh and quietly asked the next question.
"Conscripted… I see. And where did you serve?"
"On the front lines."
The memories of experiencing cold, heat, filth, and annoyance all at once were still vivid. It was a place I never wanted to return to, a place crawling with all sorts of strange creatures (mostly insects).
The family's reaction was intense. My mother was wiping away tears with a handkerchief, while Nicole and Dave either squeezed their eyes shut or slowly looked up at the ceiling. What on earth were they imagining? I had no idea.
Finally, even my father seemed moved by this, and he spoke in a weary voice.
"…Enough. It’s better if we don't talk about this anymore. We will try to avoid personal stories, including those about your country, and focus only on the world itself."
No, why? I’m really fine. I truly couldn't understand.
As the atmosphere continued to sink, Mari spoke up in a cheerful voice to break the tension.
"T-then, can I ask just one thing? It’s something that’s really important to me, regardless of anything else."
"As long as it doesn't trigger Isaac's trauma, I’ll allow it."
"Thank you. Isaac?"
"Yeah?"
Mari was now holding my hand tightly with both of hers. Her bright expression suggested she was trying to lighten the heavy mood. She then gave her characteristic beaming smile and asked a question that was indeed personally important.
"Did you have a girlfriend or a fiancée back then too?"
"Uh…"
"It’s okay if you did. What matters is the present. I’m betting you did. Otherwise, you couldn't have been so good on our first night, right?"
That was only because I had 'audiovisual materials' to follow. I swallowed those words and gave a bitter smile. Unfortunately for Mari…
"…I did have one."
"I knew it."
"But she cheated on me while I was in the army."
"……"
That question turned out to be a literal landmine. As soon as she heard my answer, Mari’s smiling face froze. At the same time, the already heavy atmosphere became even heavier.
How could I fix this? After much thought, I gave a bitter smile and spoke quietly.
"Um… can I continue with the explanation? Not about my country, but about the World War."
"…Is there another tragic story there? Like, millions of people dying…?"
"Well, it wasn't millions; tens of millions died, but…"
"……"
"…I’ll just stick to the background explanation."
It was a good thing I hadn't mentioned the weapons that could destroy the world.