Chapter 401: Repentance(1)
Chapter 401: Repentance(1)
Kate came to find me while I was looking after Ariel. Since Ariel could recharge her energy through photosynthesis, she didn't necessarily need to eat.
Even so, the reason I stayed by her side was simple: she looked incredibly cute and lovely while sleeping.
From her chubby baby fat to the sprout atop her head and her angelic wings, her appearance seemed to be a distillation of everything adorable in the world.
I was quietly watching her, not even thinking of waking her up, when Kate entered my room.
"......I am sorry."
"Pardon?"
She offered an apology without any context. Startled, I looked at her face, only to become even more bewildered.
She looked as if she were about to burst into tears at any moment, her hands tightly clutching the fabric of her skirt.
The lights were dimmed for Ariel’s nap, so only the faint glow of the lantern beside the bed illuminated her.
Her blue eyes were shimmering with moisture, making it clear she was on the verge of crying.
"......Did something happen?"
I decided to figure out the situation first. Since she had apologized out of the blue, I had no idea what the circumstances were.
When I asked in a slightly lowered voice, Kate flinched, then slowly raised her head.
Our eyes met for a brief moment, but she immediately jerked her head back down.
She looked like someone who had committed an unspeakable sin. Feeling increasingly puzzled, I glanced back at Ariel.
"Zzz......"
Ariel was sleeping soundly, oblivious to the world. However, if we continued talking here and she woke up, the conversation would be interrupted.
There were still unused rooms in the dormitory, so we could go there to talk.
"Follow me for now. It’s a bit difficult to talk here."
"Yes......"
Kate followed me like a literal sinner, her head hanging low. I moved cautiously to avoid waking Ariel and stepped out into the living room.
There, I saw Adelia and Marie chatting amiably.
Given her personality, Adelia was mostly listening to Marie, who was leading the conversation.
"Hm? Where are you two going?"
Marie noticed us at just the right time and asked with a smile. Adelia followed her gaze and looked at us as well.
I scratched my head awkwardly and looked at Kate. She still hadn't raised her head, her expression gloomy.
It seemed this was going to be a long talk.
"I have something to discuss with Kate. When will dinner be ready?"
"I'm not sure. Adelia?"
"It will be finished within twenty minutes at the latest."
"I'll be back within thirty minutes, just to be safe. Is that alright?"
"It's fine, but......"
Marie trailed off, looking back and forth between Kate and me with a peculiar expression.
Just as I was starting to feel a bit uneasy under her gaze, she spoke.
"Wait...... Ah, no. Thirty minutes would be nowhere near enough."
"It’s not like that."
I could guess what she was thinking. Since she knew as much about me as I knew about her, I could read her thoughts to some extent.
When I replied in a weary voice, Marie giggled like a mischievous child. I let it slide because she was pretty.
"Alright. We'll take our time preparing, so go ahead and talk. Don't worry about Ariel."
"Thanks. Kate?"
"Yes......"
And so, Kate and I headed to an empty room. Since this was a top-tier dormitory provided by the Academy, there were plenty of vacant rooms.
Normally, these rooms would be for maids, servants, or the staff who managed them.
However, due to Adelia's characteristic fastidiousness, even the unused rooms were kept spotlessly clean.
Creak—
I had Kate sit on the plush bed and pulled up a chair to sit across from her.
Even as she sat down, Kate showed no intention of looking up, her eyes still cast downward.
After taking my seat, I stared at her intently. She was acting completely different from her usual self.
She was someone who always wore a radiant smile, fueled by her fanatical faith in God, but today, for some reason, she was utterly depressed.
‘It looks like there was some friction with Grandfather...’
That was the only assumption I could make for now. To the naked eye, Clark was a skeleton resurrected through sinister sorcery.
To a fanatic like Kate, he was naturally a target to be purged—a dead man who had defied the natural order ordained by God.
She had grown since the time she had demanded the Seed out of nowhere, but her fanaticism remained. If anything, it had probably intensified.
"Kate."
"......Yes."
"Can you tell me why you apologized to me?"
However, all of this was mere speculation. To confirm it properly, I had to hear it from her.
At my question, Kate flinched again and clenched her fists resting on her lap.
Seeing her reaction, which was filled with various complex emotions, I decided to take a more serious tone.
"......Lord Isaac."
"Yes. Please, speak."
"I have...... committed a sin."
Kate confessed her sin. It was much like a confession, where one admits their faults before God.
So, what was the sin she had committed? I leaned in closer, adopting a more attentive posture.
Then, with her head still bowed, she began to reveal her sins one by one.
Her voice was trembling as if she were about to sob, but her effort to keep speaking was pitiful to watch.
"Following God's word, I headed to the most hideous place in the world—the place where Lord Clark was. It was to bring back the honored guest as the oracle commanded."
"......"
"However, I encountered Lord Clark, and despite circumstances suggesting he was not an evil being, I attacked him of my own volition."
Just as I expected. Knowing Kate's personality, it would have been more surprising if she hadn't fought him.
At the same time, a question arose. Why did Luminous give Kate such an ambiguous oracle?
Oracles are usually vague, but it varies from person to person. Doesn't he practically predict the future for me?
The same went for Kate. After she delivered divine punishment to the fallen Cardinal, she, like me, could communicate directly with Luminous.
Yet, seeing that he gave her such an oracle, Luminous must have had an intention.
"I clung to my beliefs, calling him one who defied the natural order, and harmed Lord Clark without wavering. If I had thought just a little more deeply, if I had listened to those around me, or if I had at least not acted so self-righteously...... this would not have happened."
"......Do you regret it?"
"Yes. But more than that, what made me loathe myself was......"
Kate bit her lip, stopping mid-sentence. Her tightly shut lips trembled, and her fists on her knees shook as well.
Drip—
Ultimately unable to overcome the guilt welling up from within, a single tear rolled down her pale cheek.
I was momentarily surprised but didn't wipe it away, choosing instead to watch silently. This was a time for repentance.
Of course, I wasn't a real priest, nor was I someone worthy of receiving a confession, but I could treat this as a counseling session.
"I...... for a brief moment, I resented Lord Luminous for giving me such an oracle."
"......"
"It was my fault...... I was the one who misinterpreted it and acted as I pleased...... but the fact that I tried to shift the blame onto Him...... is so utterly loathsome."
Humans are cunning creatures. They try to shift their faults elsewhere and hate taking responsibility.
Kate was going through that right now, but as we know, her mind was filled with fanaticism.
To a fanatic, shifting blame onto the God for whom they would lay down their life was an absolutely unforgivable act.
That didn't mean her own fault disappeared, though. Taking the blame herself was a problem, and shifting it to God was also a problem.
All of this stemmed from Kate's 'fanaticism.' If she were a person with a normal way of thinking, she would have just apologized and moved on.
‘So that’s why he gave her an ambiguous oracle.’
It seemed Luminous had intended for this. Despite his very human demeanor, he truly possessed the insight of a god.
In that case, there was only one thing for me to do: slowly strip away the fanaticism from the confused Kate.
I watched her as she was now almost sobbing, then spoke with a gentle smile.
"I see. Did Grandfather Clark say anything to you?"
"Hic. Yes, yes. He said that nothing is more irresponsible than judging everything by what one sees and hears, and then passing it off as God's will...... He said that was exactly the kind of heresy he despised."
"That was during your first meeting, right?"
"Yes......"
As expected, one cannot ignore the wisdom that comes from age—or rather, experience. Even though it was their first meeting, he had accurately pierced through to Kate's essence and contradictions.
I slowly reached out toward the sobbing Kate, who hadn't even wiped her tears. Then, I gently cupped her cheek with one hand.
As soon as my hand touched her cheek, she flinched violently and slowly raised her head.
She wasn't crying in an unsightly way; instead, a face as beautiful as a painting came into view. How could someone look so pretty even while crying?
"Kate."
"Yes......"
"In that process, did you not feel that something was wrong?"
At my question, Kate blinked slowly. It seemed she still hadn't found the fundamental cause.
In times like this, presenting a very appropriate example is the easiest and fastest way. I began to speak as I carefully wiped away her tears.
"Let me give you an example. One day, a husband stole medicine to treat his sick wife. The medicine was too expensive, and the family was too poor to afford it."
"......"
"And theft is one of the sins ordained by God, not just by humans. In such a situation, would you deliver divine punishment to that husband for committing a sin?"
It was a dilemma that provoked many thoughts. The husband had certainly committed a crime, but the reason was to save his sick wife.
The circumstances were dire, leaving the husband with 'no choice' but to sin. Yet, if he did nothing, his wife would be in danger.
Sadly, some would say a sin is a sin and demand punishment, while others would argue for mercy.
So, what judgment would Kate pass? I quietly waited for her answer.
"I......"
Perhaps because she had just experienced a similar situation, Kate couldn't easily give an answer. She was likely quite conflicted.
Since he had committed a sin ordained by God, he should be punished, but knowing the circumstances, one couldn't help but feel pity.
If it had been the old Kate, she would have ignored everything and delivered punishment. That’s what a fanatic would do.
"......I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"Yes. Before, I would have put him in prison...... but now...... I'm not sure."
But now, she gave a completely different answer. Instead of delivering a firm punishment, she was wavering on how to judge.
This is a common phenomenon when a long-held belief is shaken—the inability to act decisively, oscillating back and forth.
I had to choose my words carefully here. If I messed up, I could lead her in a completely wrong direction, so this was the most critical moment.
With that in mind, I smiled warmly and gently stroked her cheek. Like a parent coaxing a child, or a teacher imparting morality, I spoke softly.
"There is a good way, especially for someone like you, Kate. You feel sorry for that family, don't you?"
"Yes. But a sin was committed......"
"Then how about you treat the wife yourself or pay for the medicine on their behalf, and then show leniency to the husband? This wouldn't be something Luminous ordained, but something you decided for yourself. And you have the power to do that, Kate."
"......"
At my words, Kate blinked, then raised her head to look at me. Her glowing blue eyes widened in surprise.
This was something only Kate could do. With her divine power and status, she could easily save that family.
It wasn't about blindly following God's will, but about acting based on her own thoughts. A way of thinking completely detached from fanaticism.
I watched Kate as she began to realize something, then took my hand off her cheek. I then gently took both of her hands in mine and spoke softly.
"Not blindly following God's will, but acting on your own. Understanding the other person's perspective and having the mindset to change if you are wrong."
"......"
"Taking responsibility yourself instead of shifting it onto God. God loves us dearly, but He does not cover up the sins we commit. He merely veils our eyes with shadows."
"Merely veils......"
Responsibility is a word that is easy to say but incredibly heavy to bear. The reason some people say they will take responsibility and tell others not to worry is because the weight of that responsibility is so immense.
If one has the will to firmly bear that heavy responsibility, that person will grow, even if they fail.
To completely strip away Kate's fanaticism, it was best to first make her realize the importance of responsibility.
"I hope you use this incident as an opportunity to reflect on yourself, Kate. Of course, since Luminous is like a parent and your entire life to you, it might be difficult."
"......"
"But Kate. A bird is safest inside a cage, but it wasn't born to die there. Just as a child raised by parents eventually becomes independent, you too must one day walk your own path, not just the one Luminous has laid out. That is true growth."
While listening to me, Kate didn't say a word and just stared at me blankly. It was a look I hadn't seen before, but her beauty remained unchanged.
I slowly let go of her hands to give her time to think.
"Well...... that's all I have to say. Is there anything you'd like to ask?"
"......There is something I'd like to ask of you."
"What is it?"
"Just once......"
She hesitated for a moment, then continued with a hint of embarrassment.
"Just once...... could you hold me?"
"You want a hug?"
"Yes......"
It was a somewhat unexpected request. I looked puzzled, but I granted her wish.
I stood up from the chair and slowly opened my arms. Kate also opened her arms and waited quietly for me to embrace her.
"Haa......"
"Ahem."
When we finally embraced, Kate let out a feverish breath. I also coughed awkwardly at the soft sensation I felt beneath her habit.
Since Kate showed no sign of moving away from the bed, I was in a bit of an awkward posture, but we stayed like that for a while.
During that time, she rubbed her face against my neck and fidgeted her body, showing a reaction as if she were holding something back.
"......Lord Isaac."
"Yes?"
"I am sorry for everything. Looking back, I realize I acted very selfishly......"
She finally realized it! I cheered inwardly at her apology. It seemed she had finally broken free from that stubborn fanaticism.
I hugged her tighter, as if proud of her. I even stroked her hair as a bonus.
"It's alright now that you know. Just act accordingly from now on. However, you must take responsibility for your mistakes. Understood?"
"......Yes."
"Good. Then......"
I slowly broke the embrace and faced Kate. Her face was flushed deep red, likely out of embarrassment from the hug.
It was the kind of reaction a pure country girl might have after her first physical contact with the opposite sex. For some reason, she felt even more innocent than before.
"Shall we go eat?"
"Yes, yes!"
Kate jumped up at my words and headed straight for the living room. Her posture seemed a bit strange as she stood up, but I didn't pay it much mind.
Just as I was about to follow her out, I noticed something odd about the spot where she had been sitting.
I didn't know what had happened in that short time, but the spot where Kate had sat was damp. It was even more noticeable because the sheets were pure white.
"......Surely not."
It must be sweat. Yes. It's definitely sweat.
I muttered that to myself as I headed to the living room. And then......
"Oh? Where's Kate?"
"She went back to her dormitory for a moment."
"Why?"
"I don't know. She said her stomach hurt. She was acting strange when she left, too."
"......"
I realized that even if the fanaticism was gone, the desire remained.