The Jester's Secret Training
The Funny Show of the Circus (4)
“Yesss~! Thank you so much for watching everyone~☆! Lalirula’s performance continues tonight too, so come see me again then♥!”
By the time we reached the park, Lalirula’s show had already ended long ago. We must have been a little late in finding her.
─Boing!
Lalirula hopped down from the shoulder of a marionette dressed in circus performer clothes, took off her hat, and bowed. It looked like she had been putting on a simple circus show from atop that puppet’s shoulder.
“Goodness, that young lady really has guts.”
“Hehe. I was so nervous my hands were sweating buckets even though it’s autumn.”
“Goddammit. Why the hell didn’t I go watch the circus yesterday?”
The citizens chattered among themselves as they tossed coins. Some people just watched and left, but Lalirula, who had taken off her two-pronged jester hat, accepted the flying one-copper coins with a bright smile.
─Whoosh!
I hadn’t seen the performance, but I threw a one-copper coin to break the ice. Here, catch.
“Yah!”
Lalirula, who had been catching coins in her jester hat, twisted her body and snatched the one-copper we’d thrown. Then our eyes met.
“Hmm? Huh~?”
I thought this was perfect timing and was about to speak first, but it was Lalirula who opened her mouth before me.
“You two over there, could it be~? Aren’t you the people who came to our circus performance yesterday?!”
With light, cheerful steps that made everyone who saw her feel happy, Lalirula approached us. I was quite surprised because I hadn’t expected her to recognize us.
“You saw us during the performance?”
“Yes☆! You’re the two families who were watching from the colosseum stands while riding on shoulders, right? I have pretty good eyesight, so I saw everything!”
“F-families…”
Franc blushed at Lalirula’s words, then froze like stone at the next part.
“People with black hair are rare, so they really stood out in my memory! Are you father and daughter~? It’s so nice to see a family together! It even makes me a little jealous☆!”
“F-father and daughter…?”
“H-huh? Am I wrong? Did I… say something rude?”
An awkward atmosphere flowed between the beautiful girls. Franc protested with an indignant expression.
“Nord and I are lovers! We might be husband and wife, but father and daughter?! No way!”
“What?”
Lalirula’s eyes became as round as beans as she stared at me. Those yellow eyes were asking: “Aah?! You there, you look like a giant beanpole, but are you actually a pedophile who touches little kids?! Or are you the child kidnapper who’s been appearing in Heisvent lately?!”
Damn it, she’s asking with her mouth, not her eyes. I refuse to restart my slave life by getting dragged away as a pedophile criminal!
Before the guards could swarm us with weird misunderstandings, I spoke up.
“Our Franc is a proper adult.”
“That’s right! I’ll be twenty-two next year!”
“Eh? W-what? Twenty-two? Older than me?! Really?!”
Lalirula jumped in shock and dropped the hat full of coins.
─Clatter!
Dozens of one-copper coins rolled across the park grass.
“I’m really sorry… I made a completely ridiculous assumption…”
After hearing our explanation, Lalirula bowed deeply in apology. Her tone was completely different from the coquettish voice she used during her performance. Seeing Lalirula’s sincere apology, even Franc softened her sulky attitude.
“Haa. It’s fine now. Anyone can misunderstand for a moment. Just a moment, though.”
As she spoke, Franc had taken off the poncho-like top she usually wore. When she covered her upper body with that poncho, people only saw her baby-faced features. And when her long limbs and chest were hidden, the short-statured Franc sometimes looked like a mid-teenager. In other words, taking off her clothes was Franc’s subtle protest.
─Boom!
Her large breasts and well-proportioned limbs, revealed under the sun, blatantly showcased Franc’s feminine charm and age. Lalirula was rendered speechless by Franc’s curvaceous figure.
“Eueh.”
Damn perverted clown, you’re completely mesmerized by my girlfriend’s body, huh?
Lalirula, who had been babbling incoherently like her brain had lagged, cleared her throat to change the mood.
“Ahem, hm. Thank you for forgiving me, Big Sis Franc. Ah! Is it okay if I call you that?”
“Sure, why not. Francesca is a bit of a long name anyway.”
“Thank you! Mr. Nord, are you mad at me too?”
Lalirula, still holding her hat, bowed to me as well. I let out a small chuckle.
“You don’t need to apologize to me. Actually, if you’re sorry, may I ask you something?”
“Of course! Ask Lalirula anything☆! Oh, and also~? You can speak casually with me~?”
“If you insist.”
I immediately dropped the formal speech at Lalirula’s suggestion. The isekai old pervert Nord never refuses goodwill.
“What are you curious about? Now I’m curious too! Ah, private and sexual questions like the color of my underwear are strictly, strictly forbidden♥?”
“Yeah~ I’m not interested in that stuff at all~. I’d forget it in two seconds even if you told me~.”
If there’s a guy who asks another girl something like that while his girlfriend is right there, I’d really like to see it. It would be fucking hilarious to watch.
Though what I wanted to ask was about as sensitive as that.
“As you know, we watched your performance yesterday. To be honest, I was really impressed, so… what’s your secret?”
When I asked seriously, Lalirula’s eyes sparkled.
“Secret? Are you interested in the circus~?”
“Not just the circus. Anything that involves using the body.”
I lightly tapped my armored chest.
“As you can see, I’m an adventurer. It’s not a boast, but I can handle mana too. But even when I use mana, I can’t balance my body or move as precisely as you do.”
“So you want to learn my acrobatic training if possible? Okay! That’s a simple request☆!”
Whoa, that answer was way too fast. Did you plug the cable connecting your tongue to your spine instead of your brain? I was more surprised by the 0.1-second acceptance with zero time lag.
“Is that okay? Isn’t it a trade secret?”
“If it were the other members’ techniques or dance moves, maybe, but my acrobatics are no problem~! Anyone who can copy it just by watching the performance could do it anyway, and more importantly, this is my way of repaying you for forgiving my mistake!”
As she spoke, Lalirula made a V-shape with her index and middle fingers and held it up to her eye. Her tension level is insanely high. Are all clowns like this? I’m going to get tired just trying to keep up.
“And actually, there’s already a child learning acrobatics from me before you two☆!”
Lalirula brought over a child who had been hiding behind a nearby tree. I had noticed her too, but since she didn’t seem like a pickpocket, I had left her alone.
“Ta-da! This child’s name is Erika! For now, she’s your senior!”
“Really? Nice to meet you, Erika.”
“U-um, hello…”
─Bow.
Erika gave a stiff greeting. Her clothes were quite shabby. The slightly dirty appearance suggested she was from a poor background. There were no parents around, so she might be an orphan.
“By the way, Lalirula? Is it really okay to teach me too?”
When Franc asked, Lalirula winked brightly.
“One person, two people, three people—it’s all the same! Having competition actually helps you learn faster~?”
“If the one teaching is fine with it, then the one learning has no reason to refuse. So? What exactly is this training?”
“This!”
─Boing boing.
What Lalirula proudly held up was a rubber ball.
What the hell is this? Is this training where you spin mana wildly to burst the rubber ball? Fuck, that sounds badass. I really want to try it.
To me, who was thinking that, Lalirula said,
“Juggling with this ball! It’s the basic training from the great royal jester, Jester Crown Crown’s masterpiece, ‘Even Monkeys Can Do It: Royal Jester Training’!”
Even Monkeys Can Do It: Royal Jester Training
Volume 2 — Body Tuning
“This fucking thing has absolutely nothing to do with that, though.”
I muttered after failing my tenth attempt at rubber ball juggling.
─Thud!
The rubber ball slipped from my hand and fell onto the grass. You damn free-spirited bastard. You dare try to escape my grasp?
Extremely annoyed, I picked up the balls that had fallen on the grass and brushed them off.
“Chirrr.”
Fuck, a cricket got stuck to the ball.
“You little shit, just go hibernate already.”
─Flick!
I flicked the cricket off the ball with my finger and wiped it on my clothes. I’m already pissed off, and now a damn bug is picking a fight with me.
I sighed while kneading the ball.
─All acrobatic moves in body-using circus shows start from this ball★!!
The start of this ridiculously basic training began with Lalirula’s words.
─Use as little mana as possible! Use at least ten balls! Maintain juggling in three or more postures for ten minutes!
Only clowns who can do that earn the right to challenge real acrobatics!
“Earn the right, my ass.”
Isn’t this just a scam because she doesn’t want to teach her real business secrets?
Grumbling, I sneaked a glance at Franc and Erika.
“Whoa, whoa!”
“Ah, ugh!”
They were making flustered noises, but both of them were already handling eight balls. Meanwhile, I kept dropping even the five-ball set. Just what the hell is this pathetic level of dexterity that gets completely crushed by a kid who only learned yesterday and my own girlfriend?
“Tsk.”
With no other choice, I threw the balls again. I didn’t know any other method. Throw, catch, throw, catch, drop.
“Fuck me.”
Was juggling always this hard? I didn’t even feel like picking up the rolling balls and just stood there stupidly when someone picked them up for me. It was Lalirula.
Still in her makeup and on standby, she smiled and tossed the ball back to me. I caught it without difficulty. This part was easy, at least.
“How is it?”
“I’m having a very educational time realizing why people commit suicide.”
“Ahaha. You have such a funny way of talking! You’re so witty♡!”
Lalirula pretended to clutch her stomach laughing. I frowned while throwing and catching the rubber ball.
“Can you really do the acrobatics you mentioned just by doing this? Honestly, the muscles used and the sense of balance have nothing to do with juggling.”
“Juggling is only the foundation stage. The real main training is body control that begins once you’ve mastered the juggling posture!”
Swish─.
Lalirula released threads of mana from her fingertips and made the marionette that had been resting in the corner stand up.
─Spin spin!
The marionette that came tumbling and rolling with a side somersault stood on one arm and demonstrated a seven-point breakdancing pose. Lalirula also placed her hands on the ground and took the same posture.
“I’ve been good at handling mana since long ago. But the skill to perform acrobatics that are normally impossible for ordinary people isn’t just my natural talent. It’s also thanks to Master Crown Crown’s manual!”
“By the way, who the hell is this Crown Sandal guy?”
“Crown Crown. He’s the most famous royal jester of the Golden Age! Speaking of royal jesters, I can’t help but talk about when I was in Romania☆!”
“Ah, don’t. I won’t ask. It sounds like it’ll be a long story.”
I roughly cut her off. Considering the personalities of clowns and bards, it would probably turn into an endlessly long-winded tale. I wasn’t particularly interested in clowns anyway.
At my words, Lalirula pouted her lips while maintaining the seven-point pose.
“Hmph! Fine, whatever? It’s good for me too since my mouth won’t get tired~.”
“Mutual benefit, perfect. So? What does this have to do with mana control? You barely use any mana when you do acrobatics.”
“It’s not that I don’t use it. It’s that I don’t need to. That’s a slightly different story.”
Lalirula spread her legs wide, showing off her mismatched stockings and pumpkin pants.
“Even someone as cute and talented as me used to perform these acrobatics using mana! But no matter how excellent body acrobatics performed with mana are, they’re still second-rate! A true clown must be able to use the senses trained by mana even without mana☆!”
“Without mana?”
“That’s right! Without mana!”
With a motion of bending and straightening her elbows, both the marionette and Lalirula returned to a proper stance. Fuck, she can do that with just arm strength.
“Once you can reproduce the functions of a body strengthened by mana as much as possible without using mana, your movements when you do use mana become far superior! Mr. Nord, if you used mana, you’d easily win at juggling, wouldn’t you♡?”
“That’s true, but my dexterity is still lacking, so doing it with my bare body is hard.”
I think I understand the principle behind those words. In the end, mana enhancement is based on fundamental ability! That’s why it’s difficult for humans to obtain power stronger than monsters. Many monsters are born with body structures that presuppose mana usage, and even if not, their basic size and strength are far greater than humans’.
‘In other words, this training is practice aimed at raising technical ability.’
It’s the same in games. Even if you pick the same character, the evaluation differs depending on the player’s physical skills. If the body can display physical control similar to when using mana even without it, then when you add mana’s buff, the result would multiply like an exponential operation.
Therefore, training to move the body without mana makes sense. This training was for handling a mana-strengthened body more delicately and accurately.
I still didn’t understand why it started with juggling, though.
“Master Crown Crown named this technique ‘Body Tuning’!”
Lalirula rummaged through her clothes and pulled out a small booklet. I didn’t know what it was, but the fact that she carried it around all the time meant it must be very precious to her.
“This is exactly ‘Even Monkeys Can Do It: Royal Jester Training’ Volume 2! And it’s a handwritten copy of the first edition made by Master Crown Crown’s direct disciple!! This is my treasure number three☆!”
“For something you’re so proud of, the ranking is pretty low.”
What are number one and two then? Also, a handwritten copy of the first edition sounds like an illegal shared text file. It seems about the same as the magic series that Gentric sold me.
“Anyway, anyway! The fact that this became the milestone guiding my path as a clown remains unchanged!”
“What kind of content does that book have?”
“Everything from the types of acrobatics to how to train them! The training you’re doing right now comes from the third line on page five of this book♡!”
Does she even memorize the content of every page? No way. She’s probably just making it up randomly.
I asked Lalirula,
“Not bad. Where can I buy it?”
“Pfft. There’s no way it would be sold in bookstores~? This is a rare item with almost no copies, you know? The people who have it don’t share the secrets either☆!”
Lalirula covered her mouth and laughed. Damn, the isekai native traits are hitting hard right here. Well, if it really contains such valuable and excellent content, it would be treated as a precious high-class magic tome. Asking for it would be the shameless one.
“There’s even a saying that whether you have this book or not determines first-rate clowns! If a clown wants to obtain Crown Crown’s book, there are only three choices: steal it, take it by force, or kill for it☆!”
“Don’t say such disturbing things. Is that book really that valuable?”
“It’s more than that! Hehehehe♥ This is common sense, so take this opportunity to memorize it properly, okay? Otherwise, even if you get treated like an idiot in Romania, you’ll have nothing to say about it?! Ouch?!”
Lalirula was speaking excitedly when she suddenly clutched her head and screamed. Of course, it wasn’t because I got fed up listening and physically applied the iron fist of gender equality. The one who smacked the rowdy Lalirula was the circus leader who had quietly approached from behind.
“Really, this child… the moment I take my eyes off her… What kind of language is that to use with a guest?”
The middle-aged woman with neat golden hair and a well-proportioned figure blew on the fist she had used to give a knuckle and greeted me.
“Hello, esteemed guest. I am Alexandra Leovantes, leader of the Planguncula Circus.”