Funny Show of the Circus (1)
"If the bathhouse doesn't open until after eight, we'd better secure a room first."
Since we also needed to unpack, we found a decent inn. It went by the name Paradise of Warriors. What the hell kind of name was that? It wasn't Valhalla or anything. Sounded like the sort of place you couldn't leave once you stepped inside.
"One night will be two coppers!"
I paid the bright-smiling waitress girl and rented the room. Four coppers total once meals were included. We headed upstairs to drop our luggage first.
"Once we go back and turn in the report, we'll be Bronze Class too, right?" Franc asked, looking a little fidgety as she unpacked.
"The request ended up a bit too easy to get excited about, though."
"We knew it might turn out this way, didn't we? Better than anything dangerous. Good is good."
I spoke while carefully hiding Arthur Wayne's costume. I'd snatched this escort-that-didn't-actually-need-escorting job the moment I saw it. Anything was better than another annoying, blood-pressure-spiking mess like the last goblin extermination.
"Mmm. Is it okay to just be happy about it?"
"The kids will get home safely. That's enough, isn't it?"
"I suppose so?"
Franc's expression softened. She beamed and dashed straight into my arms. Even though I was wearing armor that must have felt awful to hug, she didn't seem to mind one bit.
"Hehe. It's kind of amazing."
"What is?"
"The fact that we finished the job together with you feels even better than getting promoted."
"Heh heh. Same here. When we get back, let's celebrate with something delicious."
I gently pulled Franc close and stroked her hair.
"Tomorrow morning I'll go submit the thesis wearing a mask. Tabula's mask could be dangerous if anyone recognizes it, so I'll have to borrow yours, Franc."
"Puhuhu. It'll probably be too small for you, Norde."
"Damn. Guess I'll have to wrap my face in cloth like a mummy."
After some affectionate fooling around, we headed downstairs. The inn's dinner menu offered a choice between steamed sausage or braised chicken leg. I ordered the sausage and regretted it within one minute. It was insanely salty, fuck. I forced the salt-cured nightmare down with water and bread until the meal was finally over.
By then the clock showed eight. Perfect time to go wash up.
"Miss? Where's the bathhouse around here?"
"Keep going toward the east gate of the coliseum and you'll see it."
The waitress answered happily, looking glad for the distraction on a slow evening. The place was small, so even at dinner time she didn't seem very busy.
"Are you two heading to the baths?"
"Yes. We like to stay clean."
"Then you'd be better off going after ten. It's ridiculously crowded right now. The women's side is so packed people are squished together like dough, and on the men's side it's so narrow you'll have to stand naked outside waiting your turn."
Fuck, what kind of hell is that? Guys packed in tight, naked and grunting at each other. It sounded exactly like a military bathhouse right after long training.
"Is it always that crowded?"
"Our place has a tub, so I'm not sure how it is every day. The public bath runs from eight to midnight, but I'm usually working then so I can't go."
"Sounds rough."
"You get used to it. Still, customers say it gets pretty quiet after ten. Though if you go too late you end up rushing your wash."
I nodded. People in this world who woke at four or five in the morning would treat ten o'clock as the absolute cutoff for bath time. If you went at ten, you'd still be back and snoring by midnight. Even people who had awakened their mana couldn't survive on less than four hours of sleep forever. I still couldn't resist the sandman myself. No matter how much of an iron-willed bastard you became, sleep deprivation was the mortal enemy of concentration and health.
"Tsk... Franc. What do you want to do? I really don't want to wash while packed in with a bunch of sweaty bodies. I'd just get covered in sweat again while drying off."
"Me too. Can't be helped. We'll just have to wait patiently until ten."
Having decided to avoid the human sauna, we chose to wait at the inn. The waitress, who had been wiping her hands on her apron, spoke up.
"If you're bored just sitting around, why not go see the circus?"
"The circus?"
The sudden word made Franc's eyes go wide.
"Yes. Two circus troupes from Romania are staying in the city right now. They perform at the coliseum from nine until ten-thirty."
The waitress pouted, lips pushed out in clear annoyance.
"A lot of the people who used to come drinking here are going to see the show instead. Thanks to that the shop is nice and quiet, but I get my ear yanked by Dad and can't go see it myself. All I can do is ask customers about it and imagine──"
"Kate!! You're complaining to the customers again!!"
"Eep!"
The waitress jumped at the thick voice booming from the kitchen. She babbled in a panic.
"Anyway you really should go see it! And I'd be grateful if you told me what it was like later!! Looks like I'm about to get scolded by Dad so excuse me!!"
Whoosh─! The waitress dodged through the back door with the mustached cook hot on her heels. Franc chuckled at the slapstick chase scene, then gave me a meaningful look.
"Norde. You know, I've never seen a circus before in my life..."
"Really? Then shall we go?"
If my girlfriend wanted to see it, I'd take her even if it was a dragon's nest.
"Wow! Norde's the best!"
Franc threw her hands up in delight. Was she happier about this than when our promotion was confirmed? Maybe it was just my imagination. Whatever the reason, if Franc was happy then I was happy too.
Clatter.
We left our empty dishes in a neat pile on the table and headed for the coliseum. The show starting at nine in the evening was probably meant to catch as many customers as possible. Since it was harvest season, a daytime show would only draw the idle rich. My guess was right; the road to the coliseum was packed with people.
"Hey!! Run!! We'll lose the good seats!!"
"I paid the same money as everyone else. No way I'm sitting in the back row staring at the backs of the people in front of me!!"
People with half-dried hair fresh from the bath, people whose faces were still smeared with soot from working all day. Every kind of person was sprinting full-speed toward the same destination.
"Looks like the seat war is pretty fierce."
Franc sounded a little anxious. There was no way the circus she was finally getting to see could be from the very back row. Not when it was Franc's first circus!
Thinking that, I rolled my shoulders and hoisted her onto my back.
Whoosh!
"Norde?"
"Little Engine Norde, back in service."
"Puhuhu. It's not like I'm a princess, but I keep getting carried."
Even as she said it, she must have grown used to it. Franc wrapped her arms around my neck without any surprise. I gave her smooth, downy cheek a kiss, then activated Beast Regression. The macho night taxi fueled by love and midnight horniness shifted into gear.
"Chugga chugga choo choo!!!"
"Whoaaaa?!"
"What the hell?! Did one of the circus animals escape?!"
I dashed past the startled people. When the road was blocked I used sturdy-looking nearby buildings as stepping stones, leaping and bounding until we reached the coliseum.
Whish─!
Thud!
"Kyaa♡!"
When I dropped from the height of the first floor for the final landing, Franc let out a delighted scream. The way her cheek rubbed against my neck as she clung to me was a nice bonus.
"Oh? Are you perhaps a colleague?"
The circus member at the entrance joked with a theatrical wink. I set Franc down and pulled out my wallet.
"Hardly. We're customers. How much is admission?"
"Oh! My mistake! Admission is three coppers for children and five for adults!"
Fuck, is that pricing for real? My balls nearly shriveled up in shock. A polite inquiry about the circus director's parents almost crawled up my throat before I swallowed it back down. Ten coppers total for the two of us. Basically a hundred thousand won. Fucking expensive.
Still, I paid without hesitation. A man doesn't whine about event prices in front of his girlfriend. If money was tight she might understand, but when your income is decent and your girlfriend is excited about a date, you don't start calculating cost-performance. Especially not a guy who happily devours every meal his girlfriend cooks but only feeds her one-copper soup. A person with any conscience shouldn't live like that.
The circus was one of the few visual entertainments in this world. I told myself it was like going to the movie theater several times in one night.
"Thank you! Here are your tickets for two beautiful guests. May the magic of one night be cast upon you!"
The circus member handed us slips of paper with an exaggerated flourish.
"We are Plangúncŭla! We shall provide you with the greatest visual feast!"
The tickets had the date and a stamp. We would probably show them to the guards inside.
"Plangúncŭla...? That's a little similar to my name! Norde, do you know what it means?"
"It means a doll made of wax."
"A doll? Are they going to do a puppet show during the performance?"
Franc clutched the five-copper piece of paper tightly as if it were a treasure. We showed the tickets and entered the coliseum.
Buzz buzz buzz buzz!!
Hundreds of people had gathered inside. Seating was first-come, first-served. Nearly half the seats were already taken, so we moved as close to the front as possible. At this distance it wasn't too far for me and Franc. Except for the height issue.
"...I can't see!"
Franc stood on tiptoe and hopped, but eventually drooped in disappointment.
"Heh heh. Come here. I'll give you a shoulder ride."
"W-what?! N-no! I'm not a child!"
Franc, sensitive about her height, got a little angry and refused. But when I turned my back and patted my shoulder, she eventually climbed on with reluctant acceptance.
"Ugh... At this height, everyone I make eye contact with is a kid..."
Franc muttered, covering her face. I glanced around at the other people giving shoulder rides and spotted a little boy in the distant seats. He was blushing while staring at Franc. Did he think she was the same age because of her small stature? Or maybe he'd just discovered puberty thanks to Franc's violently impressive chest.
But this little punk with his peach-fuzz face? Daring to stare at my Franc?
I shot the boy a murderous glare behind Franc's back. The kid, feeling the killing intent of a seasoned adventurer, trembled and burst into tears. Satisfied, I smiled and turned my gaze back to the coliseum stage.
After waiting a little longer, more people filled in behind us. A woman in a men's tailcoat walked out to the center of the sandy arena.
She was probably the representative—the circus director. She looked to be in her thirties. Quite young. She spread both arms wide and spoke into a rod enchanted with amplification magic.
The circus director clicked her heels together, pointed at the night sky with her index finger, and shouted at the top of her lungs.
Bang!!
Fireworks burst from the coliseum entrance, raising the excitement. I could feel mana; it was some kind of magic.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"
"Show us the elephants! Elephants!!"
"Larilura!! Larilura!! Larilura!!"
Clap clap clap clap clap!!
The heated crowd in the surrounding seats clapped and cheered wildly. But when everyone raised their hands, I couldn't see the stage anymore. Fucking terrible stage manners.
Ooooooooh—!!
The show opened with massive elephants. Two gray giants with long tusks, wearing checkered outfits, circled the stage. They even danced lightly despite their size. Even by my standards it was impressive. It felt like watching animals do tricks at a zoo.
"Norde! Look at that!! It's huge!!!"
If even a 21st-century Earthling like me felt this way, how much more must Franc, who had never seen a circus before? Our Franc's tension shot up the instant she saw the circus director standing next to an elephant that made her look like a chopstick. The director must have deliberately placed an impactful creature at the very beginning. A skilled woman.
"Right?! It's enormous!!"
I answered in an excited tone so as not to spoil Franc's fun, then turned my eyes back to the circus.
Ratatat!
A baby elephant, small enough to be the size of a person, darted out from between the adults and ran to the center. It was also wearing a checkered circus uniform.
Whoosh!
A circus performer appeared at the entrance and threw a large ball. It looked like a rubber exercise ball made through alchemy. The elephant climbed on and balanced unsteadily. Even I got genuinely excited at the sight.
Holy shit! I'm seeing something I only ever saw in movies with my own eyes!
"Ohhh, it's on!! It's on it!!"
"The ball isn't popping?! Is it surprisingly light?!"
"Who the fuck spilled wine on my back!!"
The audience shouted, each person lost in their own excitement. Franc wriggled with excitement too. Her backside pressed against the back of my head, carrying the sweet, feminine scent of her body. Fuck, now I'm getting excited in a completely different way. Was this circus 4D?
That was when it happened. While I was distracted by Franc's scent, a girl burst out from the entrance.
Tap tap!
Whirrrrrl! Thud! Spin spin spin!!
The girl showed off every flashy acrobatic move—backflip, side roll, triple aerial twist—moving across the stage in an arc until she leaped toward the elephant standing on the ball.
"Ooooooh!! (Yahoo!!)"
The baby elephant gave a spirited cry and caught the girl. Astonishingly, she used movements so light her weight seemed nonexistent, spinning atop the ball-riding baby elephant before landing perfectly on its long trunk.
Baby elephant on the ball! Girl on the elephant's trunk! Superhuman movement that made balance itself explode! It was a sight that would have been impossible in an Earth circus. Even I sat there with my mouth hanging open.
Pop!
The girl standing on the elephant's trunk smiled brightly and scattered colorful confetti. While everyone's attention was on her, bands gathered throughout the coliseum and began to play.
Bah-bah-bah-bahm!! Bah-bahm—! Bam! Baaaaaaaaaahm——!!
"Ooooooooooooooooooh——!!!"
"She's standing!!! That girl's actually standing!!!"
"My god—!! What if she falls from that height!!!"
"Larilura!! Larilura!! Larilura——!!"
Receiving the crowd's cheers, the girl standing on the elephant's trunk gave a playful bow. How was it physically possible to lean her upper body that far without falling? I couldn't feel any mana, either.
Slowly she lifted her head and smiled. She looked like she had only just become an adult. A beautiful girl with heart and spade makeup on her cheeks. Her outfit was pure clown. No, she clearly was a clown. From the two-pronged hat on her head to the asymmetrically colored clown costume. Her skin was also quite exposed. Without a doubt, it was the most eye-catching outfit in the entire coliseum. She stood out like crazy.
A pink-haired beauty who was obviously the ace of this circus, or at least one of its main stars! She spun atop the elephant's trunk, firing off bright winks at the audience, then cupped both hands in front of her mouth like a megaphone and shouted.
Her voice was as sweet as honey drizzled over sugar.
Bang!!
Fireworks exploded once more as torches lit up the coliseum stage. The circus had officially begun.