The Heavy Smoker and the Reaper of the Wheat Fields (9)
The pus. It was pus, he said. The pus from his dick. In the sense that no matter how much you squeezed, it just kept coming out endlessly, it was indeed accurate to call it that.
‘Fuck.’
Hey, you fucking idiot Nord. Come up with a slightly more believable excuse. I could literally hear my own mentality shattering. What kind of moron would fall for an excuse like that? There was absolutely no way such a thing could happen.
“P-pus?! You’ve caught some kind of skin disease?!”
But then—ta-da. Turns out there really is no such thing as “never” in this world. At the word “skin disease,” the middle-aged men reacted as if they’d just been told the shit they’d stepped in was actually a ball sack that had fallen off someone’s dick. They freaked out and started flailing.
It seemed they’d been fooled because the semen hadn’t flowed over to their side.
“Have you ever seen such a damned bastard?! If you’ve got a skin disease, you should’ve said so from the beginning! You should’ve said something!!”
“Uh, well, you see? They say it doesn’t spread that easily. Anyway, that’s how it is.”
“Not spreading is the problem?! I’m scared I’ll catch something bad, you son of a bitch!!”
The sounds of them scrambling to get away and hurriedly putting their clothes back on echoed. The guy who had been washing was now getting dressed again. In this world, disease was practically a symbol of terror, so their reaction was understandable.
Splish-splish-splish—
Splash— splash—
I deliberately moved my legs and churned the water. It was to cover up the sound of semen pouring into the valley. The side effect of this action was that it caused me to perform a crouching dash straight into Franc’s cervical opening like a raging bull, but that was something I unfortunately had to accept.
“Goddammit. Nothing ever goes right. I’m heading out, so wash up or whatever on your own. Or go to the bathhouse, you piece of shit.”
“If you say you fell into the shit bucket again over there, they’ll kick you out, you know?”
“They said they’d kill me if I pulled that shit one more time!!”
“Hahahahahaha!!”
The uninvited guests disappeared, chattering excitedly among themselves. After the sound of them rapidly cutting through the bushes and fleeing faded, I waited a moment before poking my head out from behind the rock.
—Peek.
No one was there. All I could see were the backs of the two middle-aged men running far into the distance.
Finally able to relax, I loosened the tension in my shoulders and released Franc.
“Haa… Franc. It’s okay now. Those guys are gone.”
But why wasn’t she answering?
“…Franc?”
“…Gebut.”
Gebut. She said gebut.
“F-Franc? Say something.”
“…Yeeees.”
“Fuck, don’t you start that too! I’ll try my best not to do that teeeeng dedet thing anymore!”
Her uncharacteristically dazed response made me anxious. I quickly pulled my dick out of Franc’s pussy, which had her eyes half-rolled back.
Schluuuuurp—
Her cervical opening, which had been clinging to my glans like it didn’t want to let a child go, finally released with a wet pop.
Splurt.
The moment I completely withdrew, a flood of white semen poured out with a sound like an airtight container being opened. I grabbed Franc by the sternum and began performing the Heinrich maneuver.
“Franc! Don’t die! It’s all my fault!! Don’t leave me!!”
Press! Press! Press!
“Hik, kuhk, heuk…”
Franc, who had been making sounds like a chicken-shaped squeaky toy, finally let out a rough cough under my tearful resuscitation efforts.
“Huu… uhet…?”
“Franc!! Are you awake?! How many fingers am I holding up?!”
I waved my fingers in front of the disoriented Franc as she looked around. If she couldn’t give a proper answer here, I was ready to abandon the request and head straight to the temple.
“Nord…? Why are you only holding up your middle and ring fingers…?”
“Fuck!! Thank god!!”
“Huh…?”
Tears streaming from my eyes, I pulled Franc into a tight embrace. If I had lost my first lover to something like abdominal death instead of a heart attack during sex, I would’ve ended up committing technobreak suicide.
“U-uhuu…? Nord, what about those people from earlier?”
“They left. When I told them I had a skin disease, they got scared and ran off.”
“R-really? Anyway, can you put me down first?”
“Ah, right.”
She was so light and small that I had kept holding her without realizing. When I set Franc down, her legs trembled so badly she couldn’t stand properly. The moment I removed the hand supporting her under the armpit—
“…Franc. Can you stand?”
“No… I don’t think I can.”
She certainly looked that way. If I let go of her now, I could already picture her sinking like a submarine—no, like a ship going under. She’d gurgle and disappear beneath the surface, never to rise again.
“…I’ll carry you. Let’s get back to shore.”
“Thank you. …By the way, how long was I passed out?”
As I carried her in a princess hold and started moving, Franc asked.
“I’m not entirely sure. But either way, it was all my fault.”
I apologized with genuine sincerity. No matter the reason, the fact that I had smothered her to the point she couldn’t even breathe was entirely my mistake.
“I covered your mouth because I thought you were going to moan, but even though I wasn’t in my right mind, I shouldn’t have done that. I was really in the wrong. I’m sorry. I’ll apologize properly.”
“It’s okay. If you hadn’t done that, we definitely would’ve been caught, so that part doesn’t really matter. But… um, there’s something else?”
Franc covered her mouth with both hands and whispered into my ear.
“…It felt really good.”
“…Y-yeah. Thanks for forgiving me.”
Even as I answered, the corners of my mouth twitched. It felt like I had done something I really, really shouldn’t have. Had I given this girl—who had only become an adult one or two years ago—too hardcore of a sexual experience?
Not to mention, most of Franc’s sexual knowledge came from otherworldly porn documents. She was a perverted half-dwarf girl (age 21) who had attempted her first blowjob just thirty minutes after her first kiss. The fact that out of the four times she’d had sex, she’d passed out from orgasm twice and even squirted both times made me seriously worried she might awaken to some distorted sexual preferences.
Especially this time—though it really wasn’t my intention— I had made her experience hardcore play so extreme that even the Japanese yakuza who film AVs would throw up their hands and run away. Outdoor play, choking play, and womb fucking. What kind of hell was that?
The sensibility of simply saying it felt good after experiencing such hardcore sex definitely seemed problematic. Even if Franc awakened to those tastes, I could accommodate her, but in my book, sexual acts that harm one’s health were completely out of the question.
“…Franc. Let’s finish work for today and go to the temple together tomorrow.”
“The temple…? I’m not sick anywhere. Did you get hurt, Nord?”
“You’re supposed to go to the hospital before you get hurt.”
For the sake of my mental health and Franc’s body, that is.
After finishing our bath, we returned to the farmland. After eating breakfast and resting, Franc said she had recovered enough strength to work. It seemed her body was adapting.
“Adventurer sirs. Please continue to work hard today as well.”
After the now-familiar morning roll call from the slave secretary, we began the harvest.
I activated Beast Regression and picked up the scythe.
“High mountains and deep valleys~ The silent~ mountains and rivers~.”
Swish! Swish!
I sang a work song while harvesting with the sharply honed scythe. Maybe because the nature of the work reminded me of my military days, military cadences kept popping out. Fuck, wasn’t this also a form of PTSD?
Still, the song itself was a masterpiece, so it stuck in my mouth perfectly.
“Across the snow-covered front lines~ We march… Hm?”
I was happily singing and doing my farmer cosplay when suddenly the wheat field in front of me rustled violently and something burst upward. No, it wasn’t the wheat field rising—it was something that had been hiding lifting its head.
Only its head popped out abruptly from between the wheat stalks. It was a shaggy, stupid-looking creature. It had the kind of face you’d expect if a deer had been smacked in the face with a pork cutlet hammer ten times a day from the time it was a fawn.
A creature with ridiculously large round ears and tiny fangs protruding from its snout that looked comically small. It was incredibly striking.
“Waaaaek.”
It was a roe deer. No matter how you looked at it, it was a roe deer through and through. To think there were roe deer in this fucking other world? I hadn’t paid any attention, so I didn’t even know they existed. Seeing this extremely familiar pest animal made me feel like my mind was about to explode.
“These fucking things are supposed to be endangered species, so why are they everywhere I go?”
Did they come because they heard the military song and got nostalgic for home? I waved my hand at it in irritation.
“Shoo, shoo. Get lost while I’m asking nicely. Hyung has to work.”
Respect for animals? I didn’t have any of that. I wasn’t a member of PETA. No matter how much they ranted about roe deer being an endangered species, to Korean soldiers who had completed their military service, they were nothing more than pests.
Above all, if you watched these bastards for just one month, you’d immediately understand why they were listed as endangered—they were a truly idiotic species. Was it when I was a private?
There was an incident where these fuckers died in droves in our sector. In a rear unit, it was considered basic courtesy to see about one roe deer corpse per season, but that time the situation was especially bad. The privates who went out on the truck ended up having to clean up roe deer corpses.
The roe deer carcasses, which were insanely heavy from whatever the hell they’d been eating, required several people to move them. But only two or three people could ride in the front seat of the Humvee. In the end, the privates had to ride in the back with the roe deer corpses.
Even I, who was a private at the time, had to do it. The memory of bouncing around in the back of the Humvee for three and a half hours with a roe deer corpse while wearing a gas mask is still fresh in my mind. It was like filming a National Geographic special.
—You’re a veterinary student, so you’re used to it, right?
The platoon leader’s stupid fucking logic was still vivid. Fuck, just because veterinary students are used to handling animal corpses, why do career soldiers get PTSD from seeing human corpses, you bastards?
Anyway, because of that experience, I hated roe deer. It was winter at the time, which was fortunate. If it had been summer and I’d seen corpses swarming with flies, I probably would’ve gotten trauma, applied for a medical discharge, and dropped out of veterinary school.
So just the fact that I didn’t immediately try to kill the roe deer that appeared before my eyes—wasn’t that enough to call me merciful?
“If you understand, then get lost. I’ll let you off this time, so go back to your house.”
I waved my hand saying shoo shoo, but this fucking bastard just stared at me with that trashy face that made you want to punch it. Its eyes were sparkling so brightly, the little shit.
“Why did you gain so much weight? Are you from the obesity platoon? Since the Spring Commander is a wild boar?”
The possibility that it was a half-roe deer born between a wild boar and a roe deer. Weren’t both of them beloved animal friends of the Korean army soldiers? More importantly, what kind of wild animal comes this close to people and just stands there without running away?
‘Fuck. Should I try speaking Roe Deer?’
I could communicate with the flying parrot bastards, so why not? If I just said “waaek” meaning “get lost,” it would probably disappear.
Just as I was thinking that and about to open my mouth—
—Thud.
The roe deer that had been staring at me stood up on two legs.
“——Fuck?”
It took me about three seconds to process what I was seeing. The roe deer stood up? On two legs? WHY?
Crack—
The roe deer’s shoulder joints on its forelegs spread out left and right like a Voltron combining robot, and its body swelled up, transforming into a muscular kangaroo-like figure. I had never even imagined that a living creature’s shoulder joints could have such a wide range of motion.
If this fucker tried just a little harder, couldn’t its head retract into its ribcage and a robot head pop out, turning it into a roe deer combining robot that steals the snot-covered allowance of kids in this other world?
It was such a shocking sight that those kinds of thoughts came to mind.
“——Waaek. (Food.)”
The roe deer spoke. While showing off a macho body that rivaled an Austrian kangaroo beneath its gentle face.
“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaek!!! (Fooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!)”
“You fucking scared me!!!!!”
Slash!!
Startled by the bipedal roe deer’s sudden roaring cry, I swung my scythe in a panic. Combining the brute strength of Beast Regression with the sharpness of Clara’s custom scythe, the roe deer’s neck flew through the air still attached to its upper trapezius and spine.
Whoosh—
Thud.
The roe deer’s body, whose lid had been blown off by my preemptive strike, collapsed backward. Blood spurted out like a burst water balloon in time with the corpse’s final heartbeats.
Gush. Gush.
It was a grotesque sight, but having seen it to the point of numbness while living in this other world, I didn’t feel any particular emotion.
“That really fucking startled me… What the hell was that?”
It was a crazy bipedal kangaroo-roe deer. No joke, I was more surprised than when I saw a monster for the first time. After living in this other world for three years, I thought I could handle anything—even if the bed in a one-night three-copper inn suddenly transformed into Megatron and started shooting guns.
“B-Bonodeer herd, it’s a Bonodeer herdddddd────!!!!!”
But the situation wasn’t over yet. Just as I was looking at the blood on my scythe and wondering what to wipe it with, a huge scream came from behind me.
“Graaaah!!!”
The shrill scream of an adventurer was quickly drowned out by the gang beating from the walking roe deer surrounding him. Hotulusil’s wheat field was under attack by bipedal windmill roe deer.
“Aigo, fuck.”
No wonder my life had been so quiet these past few days.