The Heavy Smoker and the Reaper of the Wheat Fields (6)
The water canteen was covered in frost. Even without touching it, I could tell it was ice-cold. Gentric carefully poured the chilled beer into the pot, making sure not to lose any carbonation.
“That’s amazing, Mister Gentric. I didn’t know you could use magic too,” I said, genuinely impressed.
It wasn’t exactly mind-blowing, but for an Iron Class warrior like old man Gentric to be using magic? Yeah, that was pretty cool. After finishing the pour, Gentric answered with a proud swagger.
“A truly skilled warrior knows how to handle magic as well.”
A truly skilled warrior (Iron Class). What a fucking badass way to put it. Come to think of it, this old man was the type who occasionally spouted some real nonsense.
—Not a son of a bitch, but a bug bastard! Damn it, I still remember. Back when I was losing my shit at those cockroach larvae in the sewers, he said that with a straight face. His expression was so dead serious that I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.
“As one’s realm grows higher, the line between warrior and mage loses its meaning. There are warriors who can bisect enemies from a hundred meters away, and mages who can shatter golems with their bare hands. Compared to them, a warrior using magic without incantations is nothing special, is it?”
“You speak the truth.”
In this other world, whether you were a warrior or a mage, it all came down to handling mana. There were plenty of warriors who used magic. Hell, I didn’t even have to look far—I was basically a hybrid of the two. Even pure warriors had to learn techniques to attack at range. If you called yourself a warrior but couldn’t do shit in long-range combat, that was a glaring weakness. And no mage wanted to look pathetic getting beaten up in close quarters either.
“What kind of magic is it?” Franc asked, her voice full of curiosity.
Gentric answered like he’d been waiting for the question, his words flowing like a clear stream.
“It’s called Freezing Hand. The principle is releasing cold energy from your hands. As a bonus, it also protects you from harm when touching cold objects.”
“Judging by the name, it sounds like there should be an opposite spell too.”
Ice magic’s natural counterpart was fire magic. Classic fantasy trope.
“Indeed. There’s also the Burning Hand spell. I learned both. Along with Water Creation, these three are quite useful.”
Gentric set down the beer and clenched his fist, which was now glowing with a blue light.
“They’re simple enough for even an uneducated bumpkin like me to learn, and you don’t even need to know how to manipulate mana to activate them. When you need a campfire, just grab some firewood and chant the spell. And whether it’s scorching summer or freezing winter, you stay comfortable. Very convenient.”
“I see. With Water Creation too, you’d have no trouble surviving in the wild.”
The moment I said that, irritation suddenly flared up inside me.
Fuck. If this old man had come with us on that ruin guard request instead of that bald monk bastard Paragon, I wouldn’t have had to shiver my ass off in the cold!
Anyway, just like Gentric said, these spells looked insanely useful. Like that time Franc pricked her finger while sewing. If I’d known Burning Hand, I could’ve sterilized the needle beforehand. On hot days, I could turn that Let-It-Go magic on low and give Franc a nice full-body massage. She’d love that.
And even without thinking in that direction, summer heat was absolute hell for adventurers wearing armor. More people probably died from heatstroke while working in the summer than from fighting monsters. Winter? Winter was the season where you could straight-up die just by sitting still if you were broke. That whole “one chill, one death” thing was complete bullshit. I wished all pseudo-science below the liberal arts level would just fuck off into sci-fi novels.
In that sense, these spells seemed pretty damn practical.
“Mister Gentric. Where did you learn that magic?” I asked, closing the lid on the beer canteen.
Gentric had said learning those refrigeration and heating spells was simple. So I was thinking maybe I should save up and learn them too.
“Bought it from the Mage Guild. I can’t read, so someone read it for me, but I still learned it in just a few days.”
“Oh, how much was it?”
“All three together came to 1 silver and 60 coppers.”
Fuck.
I barely managed to swallow the curse that almost flew out of my mouth. That was basically 1.6 million won. What the hell, was this a brand-new flagship phone? I knew magic was expensive, but even these basic-ass spells cost that much? Now I understood why Tirsi had to suffer under that racist bald asshole.
“That’s expensive. How did you manage to save up that kind of money?”
“Back in my forties, when I still had plenty of vigor, I got ambitious and bought it. My party members and I pooled our money, so I didn’t pay for it all myself.”
Gentric, who had just referred to his forties as “when I still had plenty of vigor,” let out a dry chuckle.
“I’ve been using it for over ten years, so I’ve more than gotten my money’s worth. Seeing how interested you are, it looks like you want to learn it too.”
“Huu… To be honest, yeah, but I’ll pass. Unlike money, not having magic won’t kill me. Winter’s coming soon. If I waste money and end up freezing to death, that wouldn’t even be funny.”
Let’s give up on it this winter. It’s not like the stock will run out just because I don’t buy it right now.
But then Franc gently tugged at my blanket.
“Nord. If you want to buy it, should I chip in a little?”
“No, it’s fine. If I really feel like it later, I’ll think about it again after winter passes.”
Besides, if the discomfort index shot up in the summer, I might end up bickering with Franc. The only reason I didn’t kill myself while acting like a grad student during midsummer back then was thanks to those air conditioner-like magic tools at Carmine University. Hoping every inn room in Sargadis came equipped with an AC like a motel was too much of a luxury, so having spells like these would be necessary. All so I could spend this summer cuddling pleasantly with Franc.
I should at least learn Freezing Hand separately. If three spells cost 160 coppers, then one would be around 50 coppers each.
That was when Gentric closed the canteen lid and spoke.
“Hey. Did you know? Depending on how you go about it, there’s actually a way to get them cheaper.”
“Huh?”
A cheaper way? What the hell could that be? Fuck, I’m so tempted.
Seeing how quickly I’d taken the bait, Gentric pulled out a rolled-up piece of paper from his pocket.
“The Mage Guild is very selective about the magic they sell to non-guild members. In other words, even if the person who bought the spellbook resells it, they won’t say anything.”
What Gentric took out was a spellbook transcribed on both sides of a sheet of paper about the size of an A4.
…Wait, is this old man seriously—?
“Wishing you luck on your journey, I’ll let you have it for the special price of just 10 coppers.”
…….
I stayed silent like a young adventurer who had just discovered there was no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, then finally spoke.
“……Franc. Lend me 2 coppers.”
“……Wait. I want to learn it too, so I’ll pay half.”
And so we completely fell for the demonic allure of Black Gentric Day with over 90% discount.
Me: 5 coppers. Franc: 5 coppers. Total: 10 coppers.
Jingle jingle—
After confirming the 10 coppers, Gentric handed us the paper with the magic learning method written on it, his face kind and gentle.
“Hehe. Here you go. Just so you know, I won’t give refunds if you can’t learn it later, so keep that in mind.”
“Ah, yes.”
Obviously, because we could just lie and say we couldn’t learn it after buying it. Holding this learning material that cost the equivalent of 100,000 won, I couldn’t decide whether to think of it positively or see it as a resale scam. After making my facial muscles twitch like crazy, I finally asked this:
“Just how much have you made selling these?”
“Try selling them yourself. Then you’ll understand.”
Oh my god, fuck. Dear God of the Sky. At this point, I was starting to feel a weird sense of respect.
When I was left speechless, Gentric let out a hearty laugh and walked away.
“Enjoy your meal! We have work tomorrow, so sleep well!”
The footsteps of someone who just made money were ridiculously light. After seeing Gentric off as he returned to his tent, Franc and I silently poured beer into our cups and downed them in one go.
They say even hell is a place where people live. No matter how harsh the world is, it seems people always find a way to survive.
About an hour later, we finished eating. Thankfully, Franc didn’t get knocked out after just one cup of beer. Still, she looked sleepy as she rubbed her eyes and said,
“Nord, sorry… I’m going to sleep first…”
“Yeah. Sleep well. I’ll stay a bit longer and then come.”
“Mm… Thanks. I love you.”
I was reviewing the contents of the spellbook and didn’t turn my head to answer. Franc came over, wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed my cheek.
—Chu!
Whoa! Our Franc gave me her first cheek kiss!
Fuck, Nord is way too happy right now!
With a slightly flushed face, Franc whispered dreamily into my ear.
“Our Nord looks the coolest when he’s concentrating…”
“Thanks to you, I feel like all my concentration just flew away.”
“Hehe. Sorry for disturbing you. Study hard.”
Her body temperature, warmer than the campfire, pulled away from me after saying that and slipped into the tent.
—Sway sway, plop—
“Huuu…”
There was a sound like air leaking from a balloon, and then Franc, covered by the blanket, didn’t move an inch.
If I leave her alone too long, she’ll get cold. I should finish up quickly and go in to hold her while we sleep.
—Flip flip.
I closed the paper and reviewed the magic. Just like old man Gentric said, it was easy. You only had to chant the spell name. It was almost the same level of short incantation as Beast Regression. It was even easier since there weren’t any runes involved.
Though the drunk Franc ended up going to sleep without learning it.
“──Burning Hand.”
Whoosh…
The moment I chanted, my right hand burst into red flames. It looked like my hand above the wrist had turned into a red LED light.
“Piece of cake.”
I fiddled with my hand a bit before picking up a piece of firewood. My skin felt completely normal, but the wood gradually heated up and caught fire.
Fwoosh—
Wait, why is the firepower so weak? It’s basically just a lighter.
Frowning, I cast the ice spell on my other hand.
“Freezing Hand.”
Crack…
Look at this. Even the sound effect is lame. What the hell is that weak, dribbling sound like an old man with urinary incontinence?
Sighing, I activated both spells on my hands and touched the firewood with the one using Freezing Hand—
—Sizzle!
“Ow, fuck! It’s hot!”
I yanked my hand back in surprise. My right hand was protected by Burning Hand’s fire resistance, so touching the burning wood was fine. But even though cold energy was flowing through my left hand, it couldn’t withstand the heat of the flames. The magic’s cold wasn’t strong enough to endure the fire.
“God damn it. Double damage because it’s ice type?”
I pulled back before it touched and survived. I rubbed my stinging hand to cool it down and tossed the burning firewood into the campfire.
—Crackle crackle.
While watching the campfire, I dispelled the magic. Why was the output so pathetically low? It probably wasn’t because Gentric had more mana than me. It was likely because I wasn’t using the magic properly. Even though activation was simple, it seemed like it required skill to control the output with mana.
I already knew how to handle mana, but this felt slightly different. My mana was being sucked into somewhere outside my body—probably the spell formula—and it felt stiff and stifling. Like sticking a finger into an undeveloped asshole!
‘Guess development really is important for everything.’
It must be because I wasn’t used to this magic yet. It was similar to how they teach you to stretch your legs before teaching kicks at a taekwondo dojo. This wasn’t something I could fix overnight. I’d just have to learn it slowly. After all, if you force a split, you’ll wreck your ligaments and leg muscles so badly you’ll have lifelong side effects.
It seemed the cause was my lack of mana control on the magic side. Once I got used to it, I’d probably be able to use more difficult spells too.
“Ugh. This is pointless.”
I folded the spellbook Gentric gave me and muttered. It felt like my goals kept increasing but I never actually achieved anything. In the end, the only things I had to do were raising my adventurer rank and writing my thesis.
Anyway, it was getting late. Time to sleep.
“All things return to one and become ash. Water Creation.”
Splash splash… Hiss…
I fired my hydro-urinary incontinence pump and put out the campfire. Just to be safe, I checked that no embers remained. If a spark spread to the wheat field and recreated the Korean sentiment of playing with mouse-fire, it would be RE: Slave—starting my otherworld life all over again from the beginning.
After cleaning up the camping gear so it wouldn’t get stolen, I entered the tent.
“……Huu…”
Franc was sleeping soundly. It was pitiful seeing her curled up because she was cold. Since it was pitiful, I had to warm her up.
I slipped under the blanket and hugged Franc from behind. My hands, moving with the pure instinct of a salmon swimming upstream against a waterfall, immediately began massaging her breasts.
—Tap tap.
This texture… it’s tanned leather armor, correct. Goodness, our extremely thorough girlfriend. She’s sleeping in her leather armor. I have to take off my steel armor to sleep, but it looks like Franc just sleeps in hers.
But who am I? I am Nord of this other world, the ultimate pervert.
“A man who doesn’t know how to give up.”
Squish—
Knead knead—
My hands caressed and massaged the soft flesh. Where? Her butt, of course. Everywhere else might be questionable, but the butt is safe. It’s written into international law. Soft and squishy—
Knead knead knead—
“Haha hahaha heehee hoo hoo hehe.”
The laughter just wouldn’t stop! This was way more my style than contemplating the meaningless history of this other world. If I had been a Francologist instead of an archaeologist, I would’ve gone way past getting a PhD and become the university chairman. Nord University, Department of Francology. The ultimate university where the only student, professor, and chairman is me. I’d just exploit the hell out of the grad students, dump all my living expenses and thesis writing on them, and live happily ever after.
But the heart that had been overflowing with joy gradually began to fill with regret. Because this happy dream would shatter the moment morning came.
Why do people have to eat to live! Fuck, I don’t want to work! I just want to spend the rest of my life in a big house, groping Franc and getting groped by her!
—Slide.
It was then. While I was lamenting the tragedy of life, a hand stroking my suffering dick made my body tremble. The poor Ju-ji-kon-da, suffering inside the tight leather pants, began dancing with joy like a male in heat that had finally met a female.
Twitch—
When I looked down into my embrace, Franc was staring at me with half-moon eyes.
“…I didn’t even wash today. Do you still want to touch?”
“Yes.”
Sorry for waking you. But I really can’t hold back anymore. Please think of it as paying the price for acting cute. It’s Franc’s fault. You’re already sexy just standing there, but you had to go and seduce me with all that charm. This was an unavoidable conclusion.
“You only smell good to me.”
“Hmph… Nord, you idiot.”
—Chu. Chuuuuurp…
Even while pouting, Franc shared a deep kiss with me. Maybe because she’d brushed her teeth, it tasted slightly refreshing.