R or L (1): Right or Left
R or L (1). Right or left. It was a grave matter handed down from the dawn of time. At first glance it might look like nothing more than a simple fifty-fifty split, no different from calling heads or tails, but in the end isn’t life itself the act of choosing at these moments of possibility and crossroads? Right or left. R or L. Left breast or right breast. Black-bean noodles or spicy seafood noodles. Dipping the sauce or pouring it over. Larilura in my right arm or Dana in my left. The luck and wisdom to pick the better option from among those countless choices was what led a person to happiness.
Having stormed our storage shed on the strength of that life wisdom, I reached one firm conclusion after careful deliberation and the superhuman reasoning power of my elite brain.
“Left it is…!!”
—Clatter!
The moment I flung the shed door open, the little rat bastard that had been fleeing from me jumped in fright.
“Found you, you son of a bitch! One Million Volts!!”
The blue current that sparked from my fingertips instantly fried the fist-sized rat.
“Squeak. (Fuck.)”
—Crackle!!
The rat that had dared sneak into our house while the whole family was away on a long trip met its end at the unlimited power I unleashed. The blue current that jumped from my fingertips had turned the little bastard into deep-fried rat cutlet.
“Szzzzzzzt……”
The now-Pikachu-style deep-fried rodent shot me a resentful glare, but what could it do about it?
“What the hell? A Pokémon that couldn’t even evolve?”
—Hoo.
I blew on my fingertips and swept the perfectly crisped rat into the dustpan.
It was winter, February just around the corner. Whether other-world global warming was in progress or not, the days kept getting colder, yet we had finally returned to Sargadis in Britannia. After a long, long business trip of more than a month, the migratory goose family had come back to its nest.
For a rural town it boasted insanely expensive real estate, as if the locals had wasted every inch of land on their parents’ graves. My sweet home. It felt good to be back in that cozy two-story house, but perhaps because it had been left virtually unmanaged for over a month, the instant I happily opened the front door I witnessed long-tailed hamsters scattering in all directions like male students caught sneaking into the girls’ room on a school trip the moment the teacher appears.
“Aigoo. I miss the Heaven Joseon that didn’t have a single rat bastard.”
Sighing, I buried the rat in a pit that had already become a teeming den of solitude filled with pest corpses.
Having attended veterinary school, I had heard stories from seniors who bragged about living abroad and from professors about the rat situation in foreign countries. Even in places like England, they said, it was still everyday life to see rats running around subway stations. Who could have guessed the same would apply to our own house?
If we had hired a housekeeper the human presence might have kept the numbers down, but our storage shed contained things that would be awkward to show outsiders, so calling someone in casually was out of the question.
It was culture shock for a clean 21st-century Earthling, but perhaps this was simply daily life in this other world.
“Kyaaaaaaaah──!!!! There are tons of mice in the flour bin toooo──!!!!!”
“Sister, don’t throw the sack──!!!! They’re scattering everywhere──!!!!”
Yeah. Well, it wasn’t entirely untrue.
Shaking my head at the duet of screams coming from the kitchen—Franc and Larilura—I sighed. It had been a while since I last heard Franc scream. Of course, some people might find it ridiculous that we were making such a fuss when we had caught rat bastards the size of industrial fans in the sewers and even slain bipedal furry worms the size of people in the other world.
But there was a clear difference between fighting hyper-realistic Kamen Rider outside the house and opening the rice bin after making curry only to discover it swarming with grasshoppers. The two were simply not the same.
It hadn’t been this bad when we dropped by briefly with Space Movement.
“What the hell is our house cat doing?”
After all the treatment, feeding, and letting it sleep with us, it didn’t even show its face now that the owners were back. Grumbling, I followed the signs of life inside the house.
Rats that stupid couldn’t communicate even with druid-style conversation. Violence was the only answer. If you politely asked them to leave they would reply, “Why should we? Let’s all live together peacefully,” the kind of headache-inducing, rootless, Arirang-singing mentality that made me realize anew how difficult interspecies exchange truly was. In my opinion both monster studies and animal science could go straight to hell.
“Even if it’s to escape the cold, sneaking into someone else’s house and eating their food is crossing the line.”
Even if I were the world’s most magnanimous druid, this was an issue I could not overlook. Above all, territorial disputes were the law of nature, weren’t they?
“Every mouse I see is getting a Thunder Shock.”
Muttering like a lone rat hunter, I charged into the house.
“I think we’ll need to buy some groceries.”
This was after I had exterminated every fist-sized uninvited guest from every corner of the house. Franc, who had cleaned up the devastated kitchen, spoke as if exhausted.
“I had sorted all the ingredients except the preserved food, but thanks to those rats we can’t use the flour or the water either.”
“Really? Need money?”
“Huh? Ah, yes.”
At Franc’s words as she put on her coat, I took several copper coins from my wallet, then after a moment’s thought added some silver coins as well. In this other world where the currency units seemed completely broken, paying with silver often earned the same reaction as handing a check to a convenience-store clerk, but it was better to be safe. I pressed the money into Franc’s hand.
“Hehe. Thank you.”
Franc accepted the coins with both hands and smiled. It was the smile of an innocent country girl paired with a face far too pretty for it. Somehow it felt like giving allowance to my own daughter.
“Heh heh. Why thank me when you’re going out to buy food for us to eat? I should be the one thanking you.”
I answered contentedly to my wife’s smile that made me grin just by looking at it, then picked up the nearby Veronica.
“Franc. It’s dangerous outside, so take this bicorn with you.”
“Grrrr.”
Veronica bared her claws and teeth, showing Franc how tough she was. She really had gotten good at the back-and-forth. But what was a mage trying to accomplish by growling and baring her fangs? Was she going to use Beast Regression or something?
“Ah, then I’ll go too. I need to stop by the lab.”
Dana, who had looked idle, stood up as well. Larilura? After dodging the rats like Doraemon until she was exhausted, she had collapsed against my waist instead of the sofa. It was a little cumbersome, but she was cute so I let it slide.
“Okay. We’ll be back!”
With that, my wives left to buy groceries. I saw them off, stroked Larilura’s head, and told her to rest. Meanwhile I organized what I needed to do on my own end.
Tirsi had already returned to the Mage Guild. Her complexion had grown worse ever since we disembarked at the Britannia port, and after arriving in Sargadis she had even developed tremors. When I asked, she said she wasn’t actually sick. The reason for that deathly expression was easy to guess.
Although she had taken vacation, more than half the period had been spent detained by Diabolo or trapped in ice—completely contrary to the original plan. She probably hadn’t been able to file a proper vacation-extension request or handle any of the other necessary paperwork. Anyone who had ever been a salaried worker, or even done long-term part-time work, would understand how fatal that situation was.
‘It’s no different from Tirsi, a lab graduate student, running away for over a month without telling her superiors.’
Wow, fuck. Just thinking about it sent chills down my own spine. If any work or projects had piled up in the meantime, she would be getting torn apart from above and below, and for a while she’d have to watch even the way she breathed. If you had to read the room even in an already shitty workplace, realizing the futility of life would only be a matter of time.
‘Unless she could get some kind of permit from Lady Henesis, but given Tirsi’s personality she probably wouldn’t do that.’
Still, there was nothing an outsider like me could do to help, so even though I was worried, all I could do was hope she was managing. Lady Henesis had said she would see us soon; maybe I could bring it up then.
‘Hmm… The top priority is still confirming whether anything went wrong in Sargadis.’
What worried me most was Diabolo and his boss. The fear that they might have slipped into Sargadis for revenge and be targeting us weighed heaviest. My slave career proved that inspections in this other world were quite strict. They wouldn’t let just anyone through. But black mages were the type to lurk in the shadows of society just as stealthily. Even our Veronica—though aided by ancient rune magic—had managed to break through inspections in other cities.
That was why I had insisted Franc take the wives along when she went shopping.
‘Following them myself would be good too, but with Veronica there, escaping would be easy.’
Space Movement was reliable for retreats. Franc’s golems would buy more than enough time to avoid danger.
“……I also need to make an ID for Veronica, talk about sponsorship with Lady Henesis, send a letter to Catherine…”
“Senior~? If you have worries, would you like to touch my breasts~?”
“Yes.”
I answered in 0.1 seconds, hugging Larilura with one arm and kneading her bra-covered breast. It helped tremendously with concentration.
“Mmm…… yap♡”
—Click!
Larilura unhooked her bra with one hand and pulled it out from under her top. Even so, her large peaks showed no sign of sagging; I could only admire them. Franc and Veronica were the same—were their Cooper’s ligaments reinforced with mana too? I tilted my head, then nodded. Well, if even the knees were reinforced, why not? Once mana began circulating through the whole body, that much would happen naturally.
—Squish, squish.
Setting aside such useless curiosity, I continued massaging my young youngest wife’s big tits. Holy shit, youngest wife. Even though I was the one who wrote it, the nuance was no joke. Larilura was at the age where she would be thrilled just to receive her official ID. Making a beautiful girl ten years my junior take off her own bra and then indulging in her breasts as I pleased? If this had been Earthling Kang Bukho, even fantasizing about it alone in his room would have filled him with self-loathing at how unrealistic it was. As expected, this other world seemed worth living in—at least enough to overlook some of the fucking parts, like the rat bastards. It was fucking tit magic.
‘Seeing her in my arms like this, she really is tiny.’
Of course not as small as Franc, but Larilura had a slender figure yet was rather short. Or was I simply big? Considering the age gap, it felt like a high-school teacher who had married a girl from his own class; the sense of immorality was no joke. Of course that wasn’t enough reason to stop my fingers.
—Grope.
I slipped my hand under her top intending to touch her nipple, then exercised patience. Larilura’s nipples were sensitive. Once the arousal switch flipped, I wouldn’t be able to hold back either. One hundred percent I would grab her wrist, drag her to the bedroom, and spend the rest of the day sucking and licking. It would certainly be happy time, but there were still things left to do.
“Senior~. For some reason now that we’re home you seem even busier than when we were outside~?”
Larilura, whose breasts were being fondled while she did nothing, spoke. Her eyes looking at me were sulky.
“They say the more successful a man is, the more he tends to neglect his family~. What do you think~?”
“I’m handling the work that piled up. Are you upset?”
“No~ Not really? It’s the chest of a junior you used to ignore like a rock, yet now you’re playing with it like a pervert~?”
“Why? Don’t like it?”
—Flick.
I asked while touching her stiffly erect nipple. It was physiological for nipples to harden under stimulation, but if she truly hated it she wouldn’t have become this excited from mere breast fondling.
“Hngh… ugh……”
Larilura put on an obvious tearful act. The smile that made it clear it was fake and the little tongue peeking past her lips were adorable.
“Isn’t it too much to be thinking about other things while kneading your cute junior’s breasts~? Or have you gotten tired of my chest already? I’m so shocked.”
“You’re hilarious. I don’t even have enough memories of touching them to get tired of them.”
“That’s~ why~! I’m telling you to focus and touch them more!”
Was this the other-world version of “Work or me?” I chuckled. The subtly conveyed jealousy and possessiveness mixed with Larilura’s pouty expression was exactly the right amount of cute. They said you truly felt loved when the other person showed jealousy, and it seemed people’s hearts worked the same no matter the world.
I pulled Larilura tightly into my arms and laid her down on the sofa.
“Kyaa~♡”
She liked it. I rolled her top all the way up, completely exposing her breasts. With her face hidden behind the bunched fabric, Larilura narrowed her long lashes and gave a seductive smile. Come to think of it, the panties this girl wore weren’t the comfortable kind meant for home either. The sofa and bed in this house never got a chance to dry.
“This naughty girl is provoking her husband while he’s trying to work?”
—Whoosh!
Grinning, I hoisted Larilura—face still buried in her top—over my shoulder.
‘Well, an hour or two should be fine.’
Since we had returned to our hometown after so long, I did need to go see the faces of my Sargadis connections, but visiting so early in the morning would be rude. Besides, we had sweated; we needed to wash. Making excuses to myself, I headed straight for the shower room.