The White Mage (8)
I turned to the side with a cautious expression, only to see Ersrate staring back at me as if I’d just stabbed him in the gut.
“…Pardon?”
I nodded and began explaining the symptoms in detail.
“I’m talking about my penis. The male organ. Its thickness and length have increased by two to three times. The volume of my ejaculation is incomparable to before. Because of that, I’m experiencing significant difficulties during intimacy with my current partner.”
Ersrate’s mouth snapped shut, and his gaze began drifting toward my lower body. The sensation was so disgustingly repulsive that I growled at him.
“I’d appreciate it if you kept your eyes in check. Would you be so understanding if our positions were reversed?”
“─Ah. M-my apologies.”
Only a pervert or a homosexual would enjoy watching another man stare at his dick. There was that saying that when four men gather, at least one is gay, but fortunately we were only two. Ersrate apparently wasn’t gay either, because he immediately averted his eyes.
“Ahem. I see. So, enlargement of the genitals… Are there any other side effects? What about the fundamental effect of the spell?”
“Within the scope of what I’ve discovered, there are no other side effects. The magic itself enhances physical abilities.”
“Hmm, hmm. Is that so? Understood.”
This bastard’s jealous. It was such an obvious reaction that I wasn’t even surprised. Penis enlargement surgery with no side effects? If this magic were properly established, it would be worth a fortune. Assuming, of course, that the person wasn’t the unfortunate clinical trial victim—me.
“Ahem, ahem. It appears to be a type of variant magic,” Ersrate said after clearing his throat several times.
“From the patterns revealed by Mana Observation, it leans in that direction. Among spells that imitate the power of gods, many exhibit the characteristics of variant magic.”
“…I thought as much.”
Variant Magick. It referred to a subtype of transformation magic. While it shared some similarities with standard transformation spells like Polymorph, the direction was slightly different.
The fundamental difference between ‘transformation’ and ‘variant’ lay in whether the caster could voluntarily dispel the change. Normal transformation magic allowed the user to return to their original form at any time once the mana ran out or they canceled it themselves. Variant magic, however, was different. It became permanently ‘fixed’ in that form, meaning even if the caster died, they could never revert.
That was why variant magic often carried connotations of curses or magical side effects. Like the Frog Prince from fairy tales, or the movie Fly where the protagonist merges with a fly.
To put it in perspective, erotic transformation techniques are transformation magic, while the Devil’s Fruit is variant magic.
And my case was closer to the latter. My dickaconda had already been maintaining its current state for over a full day, completely independent of my will.
Fortunately, I had roughly anticipated this beforehand, so I wasn’t too shocked. The fact that my dick had grown bigger wasn’t the real problem.
What matters more is whether any additional mutations will occur from here.
It was the crossroads between King Ghidorah dick or a lesbian wedding with a view beam. Wow, but now that I really thought about it, these were some seriously fucked-up choices. Was this golden balance for real? Turning my dick into a fire hose to bring to bed with Franc sounded horrific, but a scissoring sex party was definitely not something a sane person could endure.
Please, just let there be no abnormalities at all!
I was silently praying when Ersrate spoke with a concerned expression.
“It seems the symptoms are quite severe. To come rushing to our guild for consultation instead of asking the university….”
His tone was blatantly insincere. But I was too busy thinking about the questions I needed to ask next, so the answer slipped out before it even passed through my brain.
“No. I’m a field operative, so going back to the university would be too much of a time loss.”
That was the mistake.
“…Pardon? Field… operative?”
Ersrate’s eyes widened. When I looked at him wondering what was wrong, his face gradually filled with disbelief and mockery.
“Haa… So that means Mr. Wayne is not someone dispatched from the undergraduate department of Carmine University?”
“Yes? Ah, that’s correct. Why do you ask?”
“…Huu.”
The fucking racist bastard let out an extremely obvious sigh and shifted his posture. He draped his arm over the sofa and didn’t even bother hiding his irritation. What the hell was wrong with this guy all of a sudden? I couldn’t understand what kind of half-assed, low-intelligence conclusion this idiot had reached.
“Hahaha! I thought you were someone from Carmine University who came to investigate the newly discovered ruins. My, my. So you were just a field operative with a master’s degree. I must have been foolish.”
Yeah, you dumbass. You really were fucking stupid. I was almost impressed by how stupid Ersrate was. It took a full week just to travel from Ainhir, where Carmine University was located, to here. Who the hell would show up just a few days after the discovery? Did he think I teleported? If it was such a big deal that they’d mobilize teleportation magic, I wouldn’t have come alone—I’d have come with a team. And I certainly wouldn’t have come to ask a half-baked bastard like him.
“Haa. This is just…”
The idiot who had finally reached a conclusion that anyone with half a brain could have figured out suddenly drew a clear line and began looking down on me.
“Mr. Wayne? I’m sorry, but I had to postpone some urgent business to come here, so I’ll have to take my leave now.”
“What? Wait, what did you just say?”
“I truly am sorry. Instead, I’ll send one of my disciples who took magical history as a minor. Talking with that friend will be more on your level.”
What the actual fuck?
In just ten seconds, this miraculous racist piece of shit had managed to scrape my insides raw and nearly snapped the thread of my sanity. Should I just kill this bastard? One murder could save me from enduring three more ‘patience’ moments. But unlike that half-baked blacksmith, this guy was a member of the Mage Guild. No matter how pissed I was, beating him up indiscriminately would only lead to troublesome consequences.
“Please wait here. My disciples are all diligent, so they’ll be here soon.”
The half-baked racist bastard said that and left without even looking back. I squeezed out the last of my sanity, leaned back on the sofa, and let out a deep sigh.
Yeah, fuck it. Let’s think positively.
He’d thought I was from Carmine University and had come with the intention of sharing some pie. Even if the misunderstanding hadn’t been cleared up, the chances of getting a proper consultation were slim anyway. With that thought, I waited in my seat.
I waited.
I waited like hell.
“……Why the fuck isn’t that son of a bitch coming?”
Yet the racist Ersrate still didn’t show up. The boiling frustration inside me erupted as I shouted.
“Why!!! Isn’t he coming!!!!!”
I’d waited what felt like two hours!! There might be some margin of error, but it was definitely well over an hour!! If you’re going to leave someone feeling like absolute shit, isn’t it basic courtesy to at least send your successor quickly?!!!
“Ugggghhhhhhhkkkkkkgkkkkgkkkkgkkk…!!”
Bolt upright!!
Having reached the limit of my patience, I stopped headbanging and shot up from the sofa. As I stormed out the door, fuming, I spotted someone passing by outside.
“Excuse me. I’d like to ask you something.”
“Hiiik?!”
When I approached, the female mage recoiled in terror. What the hell had I done to make everyone react like this? Was my outfit that scary?
“I’m really sorry for suddenly talking to you, but do you happen to know where Mr. McRoyver is?”
“P-please spare me!! His laboratory is on the third floor!!”
“Thank you. I’m specially sparing you.”
I quickly thanked her and headed up the stairs. Wandering around this guild reminded me of my time as a translation slave at Carmine University. It was all because the internal structure here was disgustingly complicated.
“Where the hell is this bastard!!!”
As I stormed around, my ears—sharpened by Beast Regression—picked up a faint conversation coming from somewhere.
“Haa… Is this really how you’re going to handle your work? Do you want to spend your entire life just attending to me?”
That disgustingly husky voice. It was Ersrate. But the moment I heard the conversation, I unconsciously froze in place.
“What is this handwriting? Before the content of the thesis, you should at least maintain basic courtesy. Isn’t this material being submitted to mages far more learned than you? What do you expect me to do when you bring it like this?”
…What?
“Or do you have some complaint against me? Don’t you want to work? Or maybe you just want to go home? Why have you become a mute who swallowed honey? Speak up. Speak. Hm? What exactly do you want me to do for you?”
“Gwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!”
I dropped to my knees in shock and frantically rubbed my hands together.
“No! It’s my fault! I didn’t do it on purpose! I’m still lacking in knowledge… No! Absolutely not! I’m sorry! I’ll correct it! I’ll do better from now on! Please, just give me one more ch—You son of a bitch!!!”
I had slammed my head down like some kind of spinal reflex before belatedly realizing those words couldn’t possibly have been directed at me. No one in this guild knew me! I probably looked like a complete fucking idiot, but I couldn’t help it. The words I’d just heard had the exact same repertoire as when the professors at Carmine University used to torment me!!
Fucking hell. How can the tone be exactly the same?
“Speak↘ up↗?”
Damn it, is there a special way to talk to graduate students? Even though he was speaking in Britannian, the tone was like some Chinese local slapping both cheeks with sandals in rapid succession. You fucking xingxiongshuangxiaolun bastard.
Now completely enraged, I stormed toward the source of the voice.
─Thud, thud, thud!!
The origin of that disgusting tone was right below a second-floor window. I was briefly surprised that I could hear sounds from this far away, but rage quickly took over as I looked down.
“If you keep behaving like this, you’ll really spend the rest of your life as nothing but a laboratory assistant mage. Is that so hard to understand?”
In the garden below the waiting room stood an old man and a young woman. Since it was an isolated spot with only the two of them, I didn’t need to wonder who the owner of that disgusting tone was. And just as I had suspected, the man was indeed that bastard Ersrate.
When I saw the young woman’s face, I was shocked.
“Tirsi?”
It was the mage lady who had worked with me during the sewer patrol. Her outfit was different from back then. At the time, Tirsi’s clothes had screamed “I am a mage” with every fiber of their being, but what she wore now resembled a nurse’s uniform. A pink miniskirt nurse outfit, a nurse cap, white tights, and a lab coat on top. She was even wearing a light blue disposable mask and gloves. It looked like she’d been pulled away in the middle of an experiment.
“Don’t you feel ashamed toward your parents? They saved up money despite their difficult circumstances to send you to the guild. So you, Tirsi, should work harder and show them results.”
Ersrate lectured her while tapping her shoulder with the bundle of papers in his hand.
“It wasn’t even that difficult a request, was it? I simply invited you to a drinking party to build some connections. You kept refusing, saying you didn’t want to, so I acknowledged your academic passion and gave you a task. And this is how you repay me?”
“……That’s…”
“─Ah, enough, enough. All you do is make excuses the moment you open your mouth.”
Ersrate cut Tirsi off and shoved the bundle of papers at her. Some sheets she failed to catch scattered across the ground.
Thud! Rustle, rustle.
“…Ugh.”
“I won’t take today’s writing. Come back next time after you’ve brought it up to an acceptable standard. Or… that’s right. I’ve been invited to a party by an acquaintance. Would you like to accompany me?”
─Swoosh.
Ersrate stepped on the documents and moved beside Tirsi, attempting to casually drape his arm around her shoulders.
“If we drink together and converse with mages and scholars from other schools… your writing might become a bit more ‘acceptable,’ don’t you think?”
“…!!”
Slap!!
A dry sound rang out from behind the garden. Tirsi had violently shaken off his hand before it could touch her. Ersrate smirked at the fierce glare in Tirsi’s eyes.
“…Miss Tirsi. You have a good head on your shoulders, but you still don’t understand how the world works. That’s why you’re still struggling at a mere 8-star rank.”
“…If you hadn’t interfered with my promotion review, I wouldn’t still be stuck under you…!”
“Hahaha! Interfered? You’re misunderstanding.”
Seeing Tirsi barely holding back her anger, Ersrate laughed with delight.
“Do you not know how damaging it is for a mage’s career to have ‘failed promotion review’ on their record? I simply asked an acquaintance to wait until you were skilled enough to pass. That’s all.”
“I never asked for such ‘convenience’!”
─Thud!
Tirsi ripped off her mask and shouted in a tearful voice.
“You…! If you hadn’t tormented your disciples like this, Sister Hilda and Mr. Besmear would still be in the guild!! If only you weren’t here…!!”
“Call me Master. And what’s the point of bringing up the past?”
Ersrate cut her off as if bored.
“It was their choice to leave. You’re free to return to Romania anytime. If you still have the courage to throw away the five years you spent here like garbage.”
Khaak—Ptoo!
Ersrate spat phlegm to the side and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe his reddened hand.
“And Miss Tirsi? Out of concern… You don’t think I’m unaware of the strange things you’ve all been plotting behind my back, do you?”
“…Ugh?!”
All color drained from Tirsi’s pale face. Ersrate smiled with satisfaction at her reaction.
“No matter how many testimonies or evidence you gather, all I need to do is send a few letters to my acquaintances and it’s over.”
He put away the handkerchief and took out a comb, running it through his slicked-back hair. The expression of someone who believed victory was already his.
“I hope you’ll think carefully about my offer. When you’re young, the door of possibility is always open──… Hm?”
But his words couldn’t continue. He had heard something falling from above his head.
Whiiiiiiish!!
──BOOM!!
“Uwaaaaaah!!”
“Kyaaaaah?!”
The two of them cried out in shock at the sudden intruder. A huge cloud of dust exploded in the garden between them as they stumbled back. No point in hiding it. The intruder was none other than me.
Hssssss…. Shwaak─ Shwaak─ Shwaak─.
The green aura of Beast Regression was rising from my body. The moment the horrific injustice unfolding before my eyes turned my vision red, Beast Regression had skipped every process and activated, enveloping my entire body. I hadn’t even uttered a single incantation.
Wordless Chant. The technique that only mages who had trained for a long time and reached mastery could use—I had unconsciously activated it. It was literally something to be shocked about, but not a single trivial thought like that crossed my mind.
The only thing that came to mind was the existence of the professors who had exploited me back at Carmine University.
“──How can you speak like that?”
I asked in a heavy voice like magma boiling in hell. I was afraid to even process what had just happened in front of me. If I accepted the injustice that had occurred, my patience and reason would shatter like a delicate wine glass splashed with boiling water.
“W-what are you doing, Mr. Wayne!! Activating magic and suddenly jumping down in front of people!! You almost hurt us!!”
Ersrate clutched his pounding heart and shrieked. At this point, the fact that he could only think about his own safety made me want to lose my mind.
“…I happened to overhear. It seems you were throwing disgusting advances at that woman, and when she rejected you, you began a petty retaliation.”
“R-retaliation? Don’t make me laugh. Are you trying to threaten me? And speaking so casually to me is extremely rude. I will make sure to report this to the archaeological community──”
“──Enough. Shut your fucking mouth, you bald cunt.”
“W-what?!”
I cut him off with a growl. What I wanted to hear wasn’t that pathetic, dogshit nonsense. Even one word would have been enough. If he had shown remorse and apologized to Tirsi, I wouldn’t have interfered in their lives any further.
But── he had already crossed the line.
“…Why did you forget? Why do you repeat it?”
In the midst of extreme rage, I let go of the thread of reason. The worry that touching him would cause big trouble later? That melted away like butter on a hot stone and vanished from my judgment.
“You too… You too must have once──”
All that remained inside me was uncontrollable fury with its reins completely severed.
“──You must have once been someone’s graduate student.”
After spitting out the last of my lament and sorrow, I surrendered myself to this mad rage.
“You fuuuuuuuucking soooooon of a biiiiiiitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Hiiik?!”
“Uwaaaaah!!”
The roar of hatred that shook heaven and earth froze Tirsi and Ersrate in place!!! Ignoring their reactions, I charged forward and grabbed a fistful of that damn racist bald bastard’s scalp!!!
Grab!!!
Crunch!!
“You made me!!!!! Wait!!!!! And now you’re sitting here sexually harassing your disciple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“W-wait, just a moment!! Wait a se─!!”
“Your mother’s mother, you fucking piece of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
I channeled the power of Beast Regression and yanked at the hair clutched in my hand with enough force to rip it out by the roots!!!!!
Rip!!!
Tearrrrr!!!
A technique born from pure rage that rips out every last hair follicle in a perfect circular pattern. The ultimate expression of academic trauma turned into physical violence.
“Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
As I roared and pulled with all my strength, a whole clump of hair came out in my hand.
─Flutter, flutter.
Hair whiter than the racist’s pale skin danced across the sky above the Mage Guild.