Armaals (1)

"Wives? Your husband's gonna pop out for a bit to collect some pay."

After stuffing the absolutely god-awful oatmeal down my throat alongside Tirsi like it was hospital gruel, I got moving to collect the money owed to me.

"Oh, really? Got it. Take care."

When I wiped my mouth and spoke, Dana, who had been leaning sleepily against the bed, gave a lazy wave.

"But going alone makes you look like a pushover, doesn't it? Nothing should happen, but it could still be dangerous."

"Oh, you think so? Then what are you doing, sis? Not getting up?"

"You fucking idiot."

That was how I ended up heading straight for the place the nobles had summoned me, dragging our grumpy purple-haired girl along with me.

But when I actually arrived, the nobles were nowhere in sight. Only a middle-aged butler with a Stalin-style mustache who handed me a sheet of parchment.

"...This?"

I had naturally assumed they would hand over a pouch of gold coins or a gold bar, so I froze in a three-second stun. What the fuck? Was this a polite way of saying they had no money to give the guy who killed the final boss, so get lost back to your own country? Or were they implying this was plenty for a member of the working class? Were his parents the wardens of a goddamn gulag?

While I remained stunned, the butler stroked his mustache and spoke.

"Given the sum involved, we intend to deposit it directly into your bank account. Please have a look."

"...Come again?"

I tilted my head and read the slip of paper. It was essentially an appraisal report and receipt. It bore the signatures of the people who had assessed the value of yesterday's item, along with the assessed amount. My share came to forty gold.

"...Forty gold?"

Let me say it again. Forty gold. Four thousand silver. Enough to buy two thousand slaves at two silver each.

Fuuuuuuuck!!! Forty gold!!

I screamed inside my head. But I was so shocked that I couldn't even feel happy about striking it rich or stand there dazed. Dana, who had secretly checked the amount behind me, had her eyes bulging out of her skull.

Holy shit, Dad. Are you watching? Your son just earned four billion won.

Forty gold? Forty gold? Does this even make sense?

That bastard Diabolo must have taken out dozens of insurance policies in his own name. How could disposing of private assets result in a sum like four billion? Was being an honorary noble really just a fancy way of buying your title?

Forty gold was two thousand times my old selling price. I could build a tiny little domain as Nord and still have plenty left over. I could even assign five hundred Nords to each of my wives. Even I, who was used to modern Earth budgets that went into the trillions, found the amount surreal.

I stood there frozen, afraid that even moving would crumple the paper. People often say the world is one of rich-get-richer and poor-get-poorer. That the very concept of assets differs between the rich and the dirt-poor. Of course I'd heard stories about billionaires who owned multiple yachts worth hundreds of millions each, but comparing 21st-century post-industrial Earth to this world was meaningless. If anything, it made more sense to compare it to this world's economy.

I rolled my eyes while my hand holding the receipt trembled.

Forty billion... no, forty gold. How much is that really worth?

From what I remembered, forty gold was easily enough to run Yerna's lab for over five years. It might not sound like much, but that was the budget for the archaeology department's lab at one of the world's top universities. The kind of place that would be considered a money-devouring hippopotamus even on Earth, where multiple Nobel laureates had come from. In other words, this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was a colossal sum on the level of municipal operating expenses. It was absolutely, positively not an amount that should ever be given to an individual.

"This is quite embarrassing. This is not a sum that can be paid in a lump sum."

"Correct. Therefore, it will be paid out gradually in installments each time assets are liquidated. We ask for your understanding."

"...Excuse me?"

The butler's casually spoken nonsense hit me like a bucket of cold water, snapping me back to my senses.

"Did you just say... installments?"

"Yes, that is correct?"

The butler looked smug, as if to say, What would a brainless adventurer like you know?

"My, my. It seems Sir Nord is not familiar with the unwritten rules that come with contracting with 'nobles.' Contracts regarding the distribution of such compensation are always handled this way."

Wow, this son of a bitch has a real talent for pissing people off with that arrogant face of his. Is this fucker seriously messing with me right now?

He must not have seen me fight, because he puffed out his chest and strutted around like a drunk picking a fight with an MC who used to be a legendary strongman.

"I am a man who rose to the position of serving nobles with nothing but a pen. I have even received a university education. If you simply do as I say, you will not suffer any losses."

"...Heh. Hehehe."

The mixture of utter disbelief and exasperation left me with nothing but hollow laughter. The Stalin-mustached butler must have misinterpreted my expression, because he smiled with satisfaction. How could such a shameless lunatic be this oblivious?

I shook off the daze and glared at him fiercely.

Damn it. I almost lost my mind there.

I might not know much, but I knew from experience and hearsay that contracts involving this kind of money weren't truly over until they were truly over. But I'd spent so many years living as a penniless commoner that getting slapped across both cheeks with the reality of four billion had completely knocked my soul out of my body. I'd even nearly forgotten to read the contract.

In that sense, it was actually fortunate this bastard had acted so high and mighty. Thanks to that mustache-wearing prick, I'd come back to my senses.

"...Where is the contract?"

"Here it is."

Apparently he'd prepared it in advance after the mess yesterday. The contract he handed over was surprisingly thick. Even Dana, who had come to her senses after watching the butler's nonsense, frowned silently. If they bound this in hardcover, it would be a goddamn novella, those sons of bitches.

Grinding my teeth, I took the contract and began to read.

—Twitch.

The butler flinched as I carefully examined the contents. What, you asshole? Did you think I'd skim through it like some illiterate adventurer who couldn't even read a contract?

I passed each page I'd finished reading to Dana.

"Dana. Read it with me."

"Yes, I will."

She even used polite speech, as if trying to boost her husband's dignity. Of course, I was so surprised I nearly dropped the entire contract. This doctor really knew how to throw a curveball without warning.

Fuck... Anyway, they sure wrote this contract in the most complicated way possible.

I clicked my tongue as I read. Every time something like this happened, it reminded me that no matter how civilized this world seemed, it was still a barbaric and merciless place. Unfair contracts existed on Earth too, but at least there you could protest them later. Here, once you stamped your seal, it was over. Even if it was supposedly a mutually agreed contract, you couldn't legally amend it afterward. That was why these ambush contracts ran rampant.

They clearly didn't give a shit about mutual agreement. These bastards just rigged the documents.

—Flip.

After reading the entire contract, I glared at the butler. If I'd trusted only Minerva and Primor, I would've been completely screwed.

"...I have quite a few questions, but first, there is no payment deadline on the amount?"

"Pardon? Well, the timing of when the assets will be liquidated is something we cannot predict..."

"I see. In that case, let's add a clause stating that the property will remain mine until it is converted into cash, and that you are merely holding it. Or how about a clause that says if it isn't sold within a certain period, you'll compensate me with an equivalent amount or goods?"

I spoke with cold composure. The realization that I'd nearly been hooked by the size of the sum sharpened my mind instantly. Needless to say, having no payment deadline was insane. Who knew if those bastards would just sit on Diabolo's assets and stall forever? If I signed this contract, not playing the long game would make me the idiot. Once you catch a sucker, why let them go? Even I would wait for that sucker to die during some adventure or ruin exploration. If the person you have to pay dies, you don't have to split the pie.

"And that's not all. The bank that's supposed to make the deposit looks rather questionable, doesn't it? I don't know anything about their fees or withdrawal process. There isn't a single related clause in the contract either."

"T-that's...! There seems to be some misunderstanding...!"

"I'm not finished speaking. Listen."

I calmly pressed the butler, who had stepped forward as a shield. You're not a noble, are you? Since when do fellow commoners cut each other off like that? Don't get scared now, Kang Bukho. What's forty billion anyway? That's barely like getting a small stake in a mid-sized company. I grew up in Korea watching bastards who embezzled tens of billions through livelihood fraud get suspended sentences! I can't flinch at pocket change like this!

Yeah, fuck it. Pretending I'm the major shareholder of Kyochon Chicken is helping me calm down.

In this day and age, forty billion won't even let you act like a golden spoon. It's a shitty fact, but it's true. With just forty billion, you probably couldn't even buy a single apartment on prime land. I've become the lord of soy sauce chicken, so what's forty billion to me? On Earth, plenty of rich people dropped a billion won each into online games. So what? Forty billion? It's nothing special.

Even if the nobles of this world didn't understand, any modern person with some money would probably look at my freakout and laugh, saying, "Fucking beggar. He can't keep his cool just because he got a cut from selling off some noble's assets?"

Once I thought of it that way, I strangely felt like acting even cooler and treating forty gold coins like pocket change. It was the ultimate machismo, where bravado completely took over my body.

"The modifiers on the clauses are verbose, but the substance is lacking. Where is the name and seal of the person temporarily safekeeping my share of the assets? Surely the nobles aren't each taking one or two pieces and 'safekeeping' them separately?"

—Tap. Tap.

I rolled up the contract, which now looked like nothing but a mousetrap, and smacked it against my palm threateningly.

"From what I know, at least ten nobles participated in that battle. If the assets aren't liquidated and I have to go around asking about it, will I have to travel all over Romania?"

"Ahem! Hm-hm! Cough!"

The butler cleared his throat. Cover your mouth when you cough, you bastard.

What is this, Dragon Ball? Do I have to go on a national tour of Romania because ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of you people?

If they're busy and keep delaying meetings, it'll take me a whole year just to see all their faces. And how much would the travel expenses and time during that period amount to in money? How little do they think of people to pull this kind of stunt with the contract? Are these sons of bitches actually trying to pick a fight with me?

Tirsi, you were right. I'm really starting to want to become an honorary noble right now.

If I were a noble, would I have gone this far? Probably not. Was it because ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my skills had improved and the stage had grown larger? The fucking daily life of my days as a translation slave flickered before my eyes. Why had I been wary of nobles even before becoming an adventurer? It was all because whenever the professors got screwed over by nobles and lost their minds, they would take it out on the cheap, convenient Korean translation slave. Your handwriting is so messy. The spacing between lines is all over the place. What did your race eat to make your skin so yellow? All that kind of bullshit.

"This won't do. Let's rewrite the contract from scratch. I need to get some advice from the Hermeion Guild Master as well."

I put on a slight show of force and issued the threat. Hermeion Guild Master? I didn't even know what the guy looked like. For all I knew, this butler could be the guild master himself. But the bluff seemed to work on the butler. His face turned pale and he rubbed his palms together desperately.

"W-we'll coordinate! We'll adjust the conditions as much as possible, so please calm your anger!"

It was a complete ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠attitude change, as if I had become a noble. But after seeing this bastard's true colors earlier, I knew he wouldn't be acting like this over a slightly flawed contract. I didn't get swept up in his overreaction and simply let my eyes gleam.

What a pathetic sight, like a new employee forced to sign in place of their team leader! This butler had probably been sent because his master didn't want to lose face. And it seemed he hadn't been given permission to completely reset the contract. At most, he could change a few lines.

I don't know the exact limits of what he was permitted, but they definitely ordered him to avoid getting the Hermeion Guild involved.

The Hermeion Guild Master was a commoner merchant. The fact that someone like him could do business with nobles meant his ability to draft contracts was fucking incredible. There was no way he could scam the guild master or his own daughter Selena.

"Oh, you'll coordinate for me? I'm truly grateful."

I put on an innocent smile. For a contract this big, you had to get confirmation from a professional.

"Why don't you come with me, butler? My close friend Miss Selena would at least treat you to a decent cup of tea."

"No! There's no need to go far! Let's just do it here! Th-this contract might have been prepared incorrectly!"

The butler rubbed his hands together as if he'd flip over like a dog if I said "bang!"

"No, it is definitely wrong! I must have accidentally brought the draft!"

"Oh, really? Then is this a pile of paper that needs to be discarded?"

When I looked like I was taking the bait, a seismic event occurred in the butler's pupils. Since it seemed I wouldn't proceed according to the contract, he was apparently trying to gauge the situation to get less scolding from his master.

"...Yes! That is indeed an erroneous document!"

And since it was a contract that was going to fail anyway, he decided to at least try to please me. Idiot.

I sneered openly and grabbed the contract with both hands.

"I see. Then I will dispose of it for you."

—Riiiiip!!

—Teeeeear!!

I tore the document to shreds right in front of the butler. He stood there with his mouth agape in panic, but he couldn't stop me. Why are your eyes so wide? You said it needed to be discarded, didn't you? There are no shredders in this world, so I went through the trouble of tearing it up for you. Be eternally grateful, human.

—Whoosh!

I scattered the paper torn into finger-sized pieces. Scatter, Senbonzakura! Flames from the magic I cast clung to the scattered paper. The powerful mana-fueled fire consumed the contract in an instant, leaving only the smell of burning. The nobles' handwritten signatures turned to blurry ash like newspaper used to bake sweet potatoes. I blew on the falling ashes and spoke.

"Go tell your masters. Rewrite the contract."

That day, the Nord family received a deposit of forty gold coins. It was a same-day account transfer. A feat accomplished thanks to Selena's confirmation and borrowing the prestige of Primor and Minerva.

See that, you bastards? It works if you actually do it.