The End of the New Year and Childhood (5)
The short but intense exchange of opinions ended with Larilura taking on the role of today’s guide. She was the one who had just spouted those words without much thought, yet now she was eagerly leading the way, claiming it was a great idea.
“By the way, Senior, you’re not hungry, right? It’s already lunchtime.”
“Not really? We can just grab some snacks and hold out until dinner.”
“Should I pick the dinner spot too?”
“I already looked into that. I made a reservation.”
Looking back now, that had been a divine move. If I took off my mask and started chowing down noisily in a regular restaurant, it would take less than ten seconds for people to realize Larilura was Larilura.
“Um… then should we go this way first? Or, uh, that way? This way?”
True to her claim that this was her first date, Larilura would occasionally stop mid-step with a giant question mark floating over her head. In this information-starved other world, everything from romance to dating—and especially the adult activities that came after—was learned piecemeal from the adults around them. Wasn’t it the same for my wives? Even Larilura right now looked somewhat awkward and clumsy, like the protagonist of a cheesy 80s or 90s romance film about young love.
Of course, even if she looked a bit lacking, Larilura wasn’t the kind of girl who lost out in the face department anywhere. Knowing how sharp she usually was, this side of her only came across as adorable. It felt like I’d come to an amusement park with my niece. Yeah. This was exactly what Larilura was like.
“Ugh… Senior, I really don’t like that smirk on your face…”
When I let out a small chuckle at how funny it was, Larilura grumbled as if she were annoyed. She was the type who ranked in the top tier among everyone I knew when it came to competitiveness.
“You don’t have to try so hard to make everything perfect. We can just have fun and take it easy.”
This wasn’t some 21st-century dating manual where every meeting had to follow a perfect structure with a climax event and a gift at the end. Wasn’t it enough to just hang out like we normally did? When I asked with that thought in mind, Larilura crossed her arms and whipped her head away.
“Hmph~ No way. That’s not happening. I’m going to make today so amazing that you’ll end up on your knees, crying and begging me to teach you a thing or two, okay?”
“If that was your plan, shouldn’t you have prepared in advance?”
“Hehe~. Well, who knows? Just wait and see. I’m a woman who’s strong at ad-libbing, you know♡!”
You? I almost shot back, but my conscience stopped me. Well, the ability to handle unexpected situations on the fly was indeed an important skill for entertainers. And when it came to fighting, Larilura was pretty good at improvising too.
“First stop! The day should always begin with something sweet♡!”
What she dragged me toward—less by linking arms and more like pulling me by the nose—was the entrance to the entertainment district. Maybe because of the heavy foot traffic, there were plenty of people running street stalls like food carts. Looked like food trucks existed in this other world too.
“The honey threads here are super delicious! You can look forward to it!”
“Usually when someone says that, the shop goes out of business within a year.”
The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. The actual shop we arrived at was in a pretty run-down state.
“Eh?”
Larilura, whose momentum had been crushed right from the start, stood there with her mouth wide open like an elementary schooler who had opened her Christmas present only to find a broken Precure transformation wand.
〈C-Customers?〉
The old man who had been counting water droplets in the floating clouds overhead jumped up in a hurry. Larilura stammered for a moment before asking.
〈Huh? W-Wasn’t business here doing really well?〉
〈Ah, you must have been a previous customer. Well… there have been quite a few twists and turns.〉
From his hesitant attitude, I roughly guessed what had happened. The mafia bastards had probably squeezed him for protection money to fund their turf wars, or maybe after he paid up and started struggling, other shops had stolen his customers. Life really was fleeting.
〈Ah! But we’re still open for business. Hup!〉
The old man lit a fire under a square metal container and began spinning sugar into threads. He brightened up at having customers after so long, but his tools seemed to have rebelled against their neglectful owner.
〈Huh? W-Why is it doing this?〉
—Rumble. Rumble-rumble.
The sugar threads refused to clump neatly and instead scattered into a hopeless mess. It looked like the kind of snack where you folded and cut the threads into neat squares to make something like honey candy, but at this rate it would be impossible to make properly. The picture on the shop sign looked like a nunetienne, but what he was producing resembled a hay bale from a western movie.
〈Hmm?〉
I watched him struggle with a heartbroken expression, then suddenly blurted out an idea.
〈Why don’t you just clump it together like that?〉
〈Pardon? Pardon?〉
When a yellow-skinned Kitai person fluently spoke Romanian, he looked utterly dazed.
“Just a second.”
I bought a skewer of candied fruit from a nearby stall and wrapped it in paper. After disinfecting the wooden skewer with Purification magic, I quickly stuck it into the machine.
“The cooking tool is square so it’s a bit tricky, but if you spin it around like this…”
—Clank, clank.
When I stepped on what looked like a pedal, air blasted out. Sugar threads began winding around the stick rotating in my hand. Back when I was a kid, if you went to any park or the front of the school, there was always an old man wearing a chestnut-roasting hat selling pinwheel toys on wheels and these things. If there was a final masterpiece that completed the trinity of park snacks, it had to be this.
〈Ta-da.〉
I produced a fluffy, cloud-like snack while the shop owner watched in awe.
If there’s no nunetienne, just make cotton candy instead.
I was quietly satisfied with the quality of the cotton candy. Rather than a broken nunetienne that would be hard to eat while playing around, wasn’t it better to have something you could just tear off and lick from your fingers? Much more appropriate.
〈So, boss. How much for this cotton candy?〉
〈Huh? C-Cotton candy? Ah! Even though the amount of sugar is similar, it’s much easier to make… Would two for 1 copper be okay?〉
If someone told a 90s-born Kang Bukho that two cotton candies cost ten thousand won, he’d probably go “What the—?” But I also had to consider the price of sugar in this other world. There weren’t any sugarcane fields or workers around here. Besides, five thousand won per piece was roughly Everland prices, wasn’t it? It had been so long since I’d gone that I didn’t know the current rates, but still. At that price, it was definitely worth buying.
Cotton candy! Cheaper than churros!
〈Give me two. It looks easy to make—want to try it yourself?〉
When I held out another skewer, the man—who clearly had the discerning eye of someone who had made a name for himself in the big city—thought for a moment like he was clicking an abacus, then his eyes sparkled.
〈I’ll give it a try.〉
In truth, it wasn’t that difficult. This was the same level as when elementary schooler Kang Bukho had done it during a home economics practicum on a field trip. The only ones who got burned were the idiots who messed up. As long as you had the equipment, making it wasn’t hard. The old men who ran stalls in parks usually specialized their skill trees in either dalgona or cotton candy builds. Ah… I miss you, Mr. Fish-shaped sugar cookie…
〈Huh? What’s that?〉
〈Probably some new snack that just came out. Those things always flash for a moment then disappear.〉
〈But isn’t that James’s shop? That old man’s honey threads were so good.〉
Since a yellow-skinned Mongol rider carrying a cotton candy the size of a human head was pretty eye-catching, it was impossible not to draw attention. As people gathered, the nunetienne old man shouted proudly.
〈One cotton candy, ready!〉
He shouted it like he was saying “Bingo!” The owner had already picked up on what I said earlier and even named the product himself.
〈Cotton candy? Heh, funny name. Give me one too.〉
〈Hey, you! Didn’t you see I was here first?〉
〈P-Please wait! I’ll prepare it right away!〉
Once Larilura and I received our cotton candies and stepped back, the old man who had begged nearby stalls for extra skewers began his career as a cotton candy tycoon. Larilura, who had been watching, blinked behind her glasses.
“It got busy in the blink of an eye.”
“Yeah. I haven’t even paid yet, and walking around with this would draw too much attention. Want to eat here?”
“Sure. But how do you eat this? Do I just bury my face in it?”
“If you don’t want your mask to get sticky, tear it off with your hands or bite from the end at your own discretion, Princess.”
“Don’t seduce me with subtext.”
—Nom.
Larilura tore off a piece of cotton candy with her fingers and popped it into her mouth. Her pale cheeks flushed pink.
“Ahaha♡! What is this? It’s tastier than I expected!”
My junior swallowed the cotton candy and burst out laughing. I took a bite too, but somehow it felt like it was missing 2%. Was it because there were no artificial flavors or food coloring? It tasted almost like dalgona shaped like cotton candy. Maybe because of the seasoning mixed into the sugar, it had a strange aftertaste. So this was the Middle Path.
〈Thank you, thank you!〉
After clearing the line of customers, the old man actually handed us coins as a token of gratitude, his face full of emotion.
〈I haven’t been able to buy my son even one toy since business slowed down… but if I sell this cotton candy for a while, I think I can earn some seed money! Thank you so much!〉
〈Yeah, well. Good luck.〉
I nodded without much thought. It would be ridiculous for me to start a business with this. At best, like the old man said, I’d only earn a few silvers before various problems popped up.
“Senior, you really keep surprising me no matter how many times I peel back your layers. Where did you learn something like this?”
“The world is wide, Lari… Priscilla.”
“Really? Should I suggest to our troupe leader that he visit Kitai too?”
“It’s a dangerous place. You shouldn’t go. It’s a land where any man bigger than a wagon wheel dies.”
“Is it hell?”
“Depends on the person?”
Some people called it Hell Joseon, but compared to Hell-Otherworld, wasn’t it practically paradise? Well, I’d already gotten used to this world a long time ago. If I complained after having three beautiful wives, I’d be a total bastard.
After finishing her cotton candy, Larilura took me to a place that supposedly had tons of fun things to do. Fortunately, my junior didn’t suffer any more consecutive failures. The entertainment in this other world wasn’t something to sneeze at, so this time I got really into the lottery and ended up donating my gacha spending to the stall owner.
〈Hehe. For someone with such a handsome face, you’ve got real tenacity!〉
〈Tsk. Stop with the useless chatter and just hand over the container.〉
〈You know it’s not rigged, right? You saw me put the winning ticket in earlier.〉
That’s why I wasted ten whole coppers on it, you son of a bitch! I fumed as I reached into the lottery box again, but Larilura looked at me like I was ridiculous.
“Senior. With ten coppers you could probably buy anything below first prize, you know?”
“Gacha isn’t something you pull with value judgment, okay? You spin it for the thrill of the moment, got it?”
“Isn’t that gambling addiction? If I tell the unnies that I let Senior develop a bad habit, I’m going to get my butt spanked, you know?”
“It’s fine. If we get spanked together, it hurts less.”
The girl who had once bared her entire ass in front of me to warm herself by a campfire had no right to feel embarrassed. I rolled up my sleeves, offered a prayer to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and plunged my hand into the box.
〈This time it’s a ten-pull! Did I get the gold border?〉
—Pop!
〈Winner! Winner! Wow, you actually pulled it!〉
The auntie running the stall clapped in genuine admiration as she looked at the brilliant first-prize ticket I had drawn. This lady knew how to run a business!
“See? I did it.”
“Can you really say you ‘did it’ after spending ten coppers?”
If she put it that way, what did that make me? Stop… using… facts….
〈Here’s the first prize!〉
—Thud!
While I was grumbling, the auntie pulled out a boxed product. It said it was a special order from the Mage Guild. What could it be? My heart raced as I opened it and discovered a teddy bear inside. When I pressed its belly, the bear squealed.
〈I love you♥!〉
〈Oh hell no!〉
When I slammed the doll onto the counter, the auntie jumped in surprise.
〈What’s wrong? That’s a talking doll personally made by the Mage Guild! It’s an authentic product! A wonderful teddy bear that says different things every time you press its belly! Look!〉
〈I’m fine, thank you♥!〉
When the auntie grabbed the doll, it squealed again in an amateur voice actor’s pronunciation. Every single line was truly a masterpiece.
〈Stop talking nonsense and just change it to second prize.〉
〈Tsk tsk tsk. To not understand the value of this doll. This is why men are…〉
Even though she grumbled, the auntie surprisingly switched it without much fuss. Wait, was that thing really considered first-prize level in this other world? For real?
I returned like a defeated soldier carrying what looked like it couldn’t possibly be worth ten coppers even for second prize. Larilura, who had been holding back her laughter, finally burst into giggles and asked.
“Pffft. So what’s the second prize?”
“Pomade. The stuff you use to style your hair up.”
When I tossed and caught the wooden box the size of a computer mouse, Larilura’s face brightened.
“Oh, really? Then can I put it on you right now?”
“I knew you liked it when I style my hair, but right here?”
“Of course♡! More importantly, if you remembered that, why didn’t you put any on before coming out today?”
“When I do it myself, it ends up looking like an abandoned ancestral grave in the underworld. And asking my wives to style my hair because I’m going out to play with a girl… that just makes me feel like complete trash.”
“I think Franc unnie would have done it with a smile.”
The fact that I couldn’t deny it was honestly awesome. The sensibility of this other world was truly incomprehensible.
“There, all done☆!”
After styling my hair exactly to her taste, Larilura wiped her hands and giggled.
“Do you like it that much, forehead fetishist?”
“I can roughly understand the meaning just from the nuance now. That’s an insult, right?”
“Hey, insult? Apologize to the thirty million forehead fetishists around the world.”
A goddess’s bangs were a man’s ultimate romance, after all. By the way, I hoped I didn’t have any pimples on my forehead. When I touched my brow, Larilura quickly said,
“Don’t touch it until the date is over, okay? For today, I’ve rented you from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.”
“Pay the rental fee.”
“Here, three years prepaid♡”
Without another word, Larilura took two silvers out of her wallet and handed them over.
Yerna, you fucking bitch. As expected, a world where slavery still openly exists really is hell.