Gorgalia (3): Come, Sweet Death
I sat on the bed, chin resting in my hand. While idly kneading Franc’s enormous tits that had knocked her clean out, I struck the exact pose of Rodin’s The Thinker.
I glanced at the clock. Unbelievably, it read four in the morning. Was it really possible for time to slip away like this after nothing more than some drinks and a quick fuck? Sex really does murder your sense of time.
Going back to sleep now feels half-assed.
My current dilemma was simple. As a man of pure machismo, was it really acceptable to sleep in late the morning after your wedding and wedding-night sex, yawning your head off?
I want to wake up before Franc and raise the flag of a sweet, considerate husband.
The kind of husband who gets up the morning after an orgasm so intense it made her pass out, prepares a simple breakfast, and gently asks if she slept well! Fuck, even a guy would be impressed by that. What a perfect blend of caring daytime gentleman and passionate nighttime lover! If Franc ever did the same for me, I’d be moved to tears.
But I have no idea what time she’ll wake up.
If she had to go to work it would be one thing, but since she’s a freelancer I can’t even guess. Will she wake up this morning or stay unconscious until noon? No clue.
…Alright. Let’s do this.
After thinking it over, I snapped my fingers. She’d be exhausted, so first I’d cast a spell that would let her enjoy proper deep sleep without waking in the middle. Then I’d get up first and ask whether she wanted to rise or keep sleeping. If she was still drowsy, I could feed her a simple breakfast or tuck her back in. At that point, if she snuggled into my chest and let out a little “koo” sound, that would be perfect.
Then first, disinfection.
I started by cleaning my entire body with magic. I peeled off the wedding corset that still managed to excite the dick even on second glance. It was fascinating that Franc’s skin, strengthened by mana, didn’t even show any pressure marks.
But when I touch it, it’s so incredibly soft.
Squeeze, squeeze.
While changing her clothes I collected a little side income. Franc’s tits were far more comforting and pleasant than the blanket on a bed after a three-day all-nighter. The demonic allure of breasts. As expected, huge tits are fucking righteous simply by existing.
"ᚦ(Thurs)."
⟨ Deep Sleep ⟩
I gifted her deep sleep with a rune while she breathed softly beside me. It wasn’t dangerous. This rune protected the mind. There was no way sleep granted through an application of the guardian rune could harm the body. This rune magic would let her enjoy sweeter dreams than any half-baked sleeping pill.
Of course, Franc might have been able to resist rune magic.
“Mmm… puuu…”
But perhaps because we had mingled our flesh countless times and her body remembered my mana, she fell asleep without the slightest resistance.
“Hehe.”
I felt a warm glow at the thought that our Franc trusted me so completely.
I had been about to carry her to her room, but leaving her to sleep alone in her own bed on our wedding night felt wrong, so I simply laid her on mine. Well, I’d bought the oversized bed precisely for moments like this.
“Sleep well, Franc.”
I kissed her cheek, then stepped out to the living room for a moment. After sweating buckets and burning off the alcohol, I felt a little hungry.
Thanks to magic I could have hot and cold water anytime, but I didn’t feel like filling my stomach with plain liquid.
A post-sex late-night snack is basically law.
Step, step.
I grabbed a few things from the kitchen and headed for the table. But there was a random mug sitting there. I’d cleaned up roughly when Franc went to wash before we had sex, so I blinked in confusion.
“What the fuck?”
Had the mug attained self-awareness after deep introspection and evolved into a Digimon? Or had some thieving bastard helped himself to a drink?
As I approached suspiciously, it turned out not to be a thief. And obviously not a Digimon.
“Zzz…”
The horned maid was enjoying a sweet, deep sleep on the sofa.
“Veronica?”
“Yaaawn… Hmm…? Have you finished the copulation?”
When I stared at her blankly, Veronica noticed my gaze and woke up.
“What are you doing here?”
“Yaaawn… Well, how should I explain? I sensed the lewd atmosphere and withdrew so as not to disturb Master and Madam’s happy time. However, it seemed Master would suffer an unpleasant dream tonight, so I waited.”
“From the way you’re talking, you’re still half-asleep.”
If you’re going to be considerate, go all the way, damn it. Then again, for a being who can live for hundreds of years, how many things truly require staying up all night? If she’s sleepy she could just sleep and handle it tomorrow. Long-lived species could graduate high school at age one hundred ninety and still not be behind in life.
“More importantly, what do you mean you waited? You were completely passed out.”
“Mm. I dozed off for a moment. I am sleepy. I underestimated Master’s endless sexual appetite. When I myself became the object of Master’s lust, my consciousness would occasionally fly away midway, so I could not fully appreciate it.”
She was thinking along the same lines as me. They say married couples grow alike, yet we haven’t been together that long. I let out a small laugh.
“So why stay awake waiting instead of sleeping?”
“It is nothing special. The inner compatibility between myself, Master, and Franc… Ah, I mean mana compatibility. In any case, considering that compatibility, I feared Master might become entangled in an awkward Seidr tonight.”
Veronica explained while retrieving a tool she had left under the sofa. I understood immediately.
“Hmm. That’s certainly possible.”
In fact, there had been a precedent where, while doing the hydro-pump rally with Franc, I had accidentally manifested a Seidr. Tonight I had practically painted Franc’s body with cum using my dick as a brush. The probability of a Seidr erupting was extremely high.
“That is why I intended to ask. Whether to block the Seidr from succeeding as we did on our first night together, or to perform a proper, formal Seidr.”
“…You’re telling me to go fuck you right now?”
Of course my dick could go all day, but the timing felt wrong. After knocking Franc out cold and then heading to another wife’s bedroom—no matter how I looked at it, that was a total dick move.
Veronica tilted her head in sleepy confusion, then seemed to catch the implication. Her neck flushed bright red.
“Ah, no, that is not it. You have already completed the physical union with Franc, have you not? It will be finished simply by installing the barrier’s focal point and sleeping. There is no need for our bodies to mingle.”
“I see. Well, today’s not great, so let’s do it another time. Come tell me whenever you feel like it.”
As I spoke, I brushed the stray hair off her cheek. Veronica frowned, looking displeased.
“…Why have I suddenly become someone desperately craving Master’s favor? It is not as if I particularly wish to be embraced.”
“Reeeally? For real?”
Tap.
When I gently pinched her horn with my fingertips, Veronica’s eyes flew wide in panic.
“Hiek?! I-I was wrong! Do not channel mana into the horn! If Master desires it, any time is fine, but I intended to decline out of consideration for Franc! It was a slip of the tongue from embarrassment! Please forgive me!”
Damn, anyone watching would think I was about to devour her. I released the horn.
“Anyway, about the Seidr—if it can still be done afterward, I’d like you to cast it tonight. I was planning to attempt it properly once we returned home anyway.”
Asking for it during the sex that served as the grand finale of the wedding day felt a bit much, so I hadn’t brought it up. But now that Franc was comfortably asleep, the timing was perfect. Once I left to find Tirsi the opportunity might slip away again. Finishing it tonight was one valid option. The task of investigating Yerna’s memories, that is.
…Honestly, I probably could have done it last time too.
On our first night together, Veronica and I had performed the Seidr consciousness. The materials had been prepared and the ritual procedures followed perfectly. But I had asked her to cancel the Seidr so I wouldn’t have to experience the inner-world dream that night.
There were many reasons, but if I excluded the ones that sounded like excuses and spoke only my true feelings—it simply would have felt awful.
It’s only natural to want to separate beautiful memories from shitty ones. I hadn’t wanted to rummage through that unpleasant bitch’s memories on the very night I consummated my marriage with my beloved wife.
Even now, I honestly didn’t want to see anything like Yerna’s memories. My desire to outsource the job was at maximum. If someone could summarize only the important parts in 20-point font on a single sheet of A4 paper, I’d happily give them an A+.
Still, I can’t keep putting it off forever.
This other world is too harsh to live only doing what you want. Extracting information about the enemies who would threaten our family from Yerna’s memories was an urgent priority.
“Mm. Understood. I shall prepare.”
So saying, Veronica headed to my room and began drawing a magic circle. I retrieved the rune stone containing Yerna’s memories from storage.
Veronica swung the lit Burning Branch like a staff and spoke.
“You remember, yes? I may enter your dreams, but I cannot interfere with the butterfly dream. Be certain to place a talisman engraved with ᚦ(Thurs) by your pillow before you sleep.”
“Yeah, I know.”
It had been the first time I dreamed of Odin. Veronica had been dragged into my inner world but could not appear within Odin’s memories. A third party could appear in my dream through Seidr, but that did not allow intervention in the exploration of a dream within a dream.
Today, the only one entering my dream would be me. To keep my mind intact inside the dream, I needed to place a talisman engraved with the mind-guardian rune by my pillow.
“Thanks for your hard work. You should go sleep too. I appreciate you waiting up.”
“Mm. Please do not overexert yourself. There is plenty of time, so keep in mind not to rush.”
I gave the worried Veronica a simple goodnight kiss and sent her off to bed.
There was nothing to fear. I was no Zhuge Liang; a dead dick-bitch could never drive out a living ultra-macho. The super-macho Nord fears no ghosts. He is, in fact, the ghost-hunting ultra-macho.
Thud.
I placed the rune stone beside the pillow and lay down in Tutankhamun pose.
Consciously falling asleep is always difficult. If you could sleep simply because you wanted to, insomnia, oversleeping, and sleep deprivation would not exist.
Then, Professor Slayer, what is the correct answer?
A magical sleeping pill, obviously.
I activated the rune magic directly against my own head.
"Come, sweet death."
⟨ Magical Slumber ⟩
See you in the dream city of Reheln.
When I opened my eyes, I was standing in a meadow. Completely naked, of course.
“I’m inside the dream.”
The moment I became aware it was a dream, my mind sharpened. In the past I would have arrived unprepared and simply ridden the current of consciousness while screaming, but I had long since graduated from the pathetic master’s-degree-holder I was half a year ago.
Ah, fuck. Now that I think about it, my degree is still the same.
My skills keep growing, so why doesn’t the degree increase? Feeling slightly gloomy, I looked up at the sky without thinking.
The white dwarf star floating there greeted me. It was the accumulated mana of the old god I had stored up.
It’s gotten insanely bigger since the last time I saw it.
It had been two or three months, so maybe that was why. It looked nearly twice as large. If that were a real sun, my inner world would be beyond worrying about global warming. The surface would be on fire and every living thing would be raging at the owner’s reckless solar output.
“That’s how hot it is, huh.”
I am a man with a cool head but a burning heart. I pressed my palms together toward the sun.
“Namaste.”
It was right after I greeted the accumulated old-god mana that I suddenly frowned at the heat licking my back. Embers riding the wind brushed the nape of my neck.
“…A forest?”
In the meadow where I stood, a forest I had never seen before had appeared. It was definitely not ordinary. Not merely because it existed inside my inner world, but because the entire forest was burning with indigo flames.
Whoosh!!!!
I remembered seeing a news report once about some country’s forest that had burned for a long time. This looked exactly like that footage with a navy-blue filter applied.
Even though a forest I had never seen had sprouted inside my neurons, I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t want to recall it, nor did it feel nostalgic, but I was intimately familiar with that indigo color. I could even guess the cause.
That must be Yerna’s memory.
If so, the navy flames were probably a kind of firewall. She must have set up tricks so that necromancers or dark mages couldn’t read her memories. Considering how her corpse had vanished, the theory made sense.
Under normal circumstances, extracting anything from that would have been impossible.
Even though I had dug the memories out with the Perth rune, the gap between Yerna and me was that vast. Not in raw power, but in magical technique. No matter how much of a fucking bitch she was, after living for hundreds of years she would have accumulated serious research experience. A fourth-year newbie in this other world trying to compete with her would have been reckless.
Under normal circumstances, that is.
The ritual that buffs the user’s magical ability and allows activity inside the special space of dreams—Seidr. Inside this space, the story changed completely. Every magical firewall Yerna had prepared was neutralized. The contest transformed from an exchange of advanced magical technique into a barbaric battle of mental strength and mana.
It’ll be easier than trying to analyze the firewall technically.
The difference was enormous. It was like hacking Skynet with an iPad versus smashing the Skynet server room with a Nokia phone.
Normally, piercing that firewall—in every sense of the word—would be insanely difficult, but Veronica, an expert in this field, had told me it was worth attempting.
Plus, dying in the dream doesn’t actually kill you.
You simply wake from exhaustion before your mental power completely shatters. Infiltrate the unmanaged server room and massacre everything like a ninja. The simplest mission in the world.
Without hesitation, I walked toward the forest where the massive blaze raged.
“Excuse me, but you appear to be on fire.”
I decided to smash apart any burning trees that blocked my path. At this moment I was the otherworld lumberjack Nord. Since my wife was a deer-antlered goddess, it was roughly fitting.
By the way—an axe? Before entering the forest, I called forth the first axe that came to mind.
Stormbreaker.
A luxurious blue window appeared.
I jumped in surprise.
“Ah, shit. Not you, dude.”
The blue window vanished like an illusion. Whew, fuck. I thought my heart was going to drop.
Relieved, I tried to imagine a lightning axe worthy of Thor, but it didn’t work as well as I hoped.
I thought I could manipulate matter to some degree in dreams since I erased Veronica’s clothes last time.
I couldn’t figure out what the problem was. Maybe axes weren’t familiar enough to manifest in the dream, unlike spears?
Thinking that, I tested it by recalling the work axe I had used during military service.
Clack!
The axe that reeked of military life appeared like a rural mutt answering its owner’s call and fit snugly into my hand.
“Goddamn it, you piece of shit.”
This was my pathetic reality. I sighed. Yeah, what could I expect at my level? Even this was something to be grateful for.
The problem was that I now looked like the legendary Korean serial killer—naked and holding nothing but a work axe.
I guess I should imagine some clothes too.
I concentrated with half-lidded eyes. But perhaps because of the military stench wafting from the weapon, or because I had never been particularly attached to clothing even in the twenty-first century, I ended up wearing the new military uniform I had worn the longest and that left the deepest impression.
“Fuck this shit. It’s a military dream.”
How had the grand journey to uncover the hidden truths of the other world turned into this? It felt like I was about to head out to the sector with the assistant platoon leader during duty hours.
The worst part was that although I had a green squad-leader epaulet on my shoulder, the rank insignia on my chest was that of a private first class.
“It’s been four years since discharge and I’m still having military dreams? What the hell.”
Hit with a sudden wave of reality, I hurled the axe at a water deer crossing the meadow.
A military dream on my wedding day? Not even out of spite.
“Disappear, you specter of the conscription system!!”
Boom!!
I exploded my top and bottom like the Hulk. When the military uniform scattered like it had been fed through a shredder, raining down threads, I was now dressed in a neat dress shirt and slacks.
I clenched both hands. Two red electric chainsaws materialized.
I bit the starter cord connected to the body and yanked.
Vrooooom!!
As the engine caught, the blade spun violently. I lifted the wildly bucking chainsaw.
“──I’ll become the Texasrgaris electric chainsaw murderer.”
Please refrain from asking why a chainsaw in such a corny manner. It’s a dream, so who cares? If anything, a chainsaw felt a hundred times more reliable than an axe.
The chainsaw I had learned to use while helping at my family home gave me faithful satisfaction.
“You fucking military-supply-slipper of a chainsaw!!”
Just holding it made me feel as solid as a bowl of hot soup! Laughing like a true man, I stepped into the forest burning with indigo flames.
Fire transferred to my body as well. But as expected, no damage penetrated the mental fortitude of a super-macho and the protection of the runes.
To be blunt, I simply needed to sweep every tree in this forest and extinguish the fire. It wouldn’t be difficult, but it was annoying just thinking about it. Pure manual labor weed removal. The 4D version of Animal Crossing.
Well, I’m used to it.
When has my life ever gone the easy route? It was just a matter of doing a bit of hard labor and it would be over. It was easier than I had feared.
Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
The chainsaw howled. Engulfed in flames from head to toe, I charged into the depths of the forest.