The Bouquet Toss
The last time we held a housewarming, I threw a small party with just my party members. Why? Because handing out invitations means inviting everyone you’ve even vaguely met to avoid creating outcasts, and doing that would’ve turned the housewarming into something ridiculously extravagant. Even if people don’t actually show up, being left off the guest list entirely would leave a bad taste.
Thinking ahead to the wedding, inviting connections too big for our little house to handle—branch heads of guilds and the like—felt like absolute madness. ……That was the surface excuse. If I’m being one hundred percent honest: “It was just too damn annoying, you bastards!!” Connections are nice to have, but maintaining them is a pain.
I shook hands with the guests who came to congratulate us, making sure my smile didn’t look too forced. This time was a little better, though. Instead of the branch heads themselves, they’d sent their servants as proxies.
“Congratulations on your marriage, Lord Nord. Lady Hernecia was overjoyed, like a child listening to heroic tales, hearing of your rapid rise and exploits.”
“That’s very kind of you to say. I’ll continue to hone myself so that, within the bounds of keeping my family safe, I can share even more convincing adventure stories.”
Exploits, my ass. Officially, the only thing Sargadis knows about me is that the Underground Tower incident is over. No matter how much the bards here are the cultural cutting edge of this godforsaken isekai world, there’s no way those YouTube-starved streamer types would dedicate themselves solely to covering me. It’s not like I have paparazzi following me around. The citizens’ interest in me has already died down.
Now I’m just Nord Coin—something only people in the know even recognize, like Bitcoin or stocks. Still, quite a few showed up, probably judging that my investment value was high. ‘Yeah, that makes sense. Look at how much money and how many connections went into this wedding.’
Even Franc, who’d already experienced the lord’s party, was trembling in the back like she was in vibrate mode. It wasn’t about flaunting wealth or connections. Still, as Franc’s husband, I didn’t want to look like a loser, and that feeling combined with the genuine sincerity I’d poured into the wedding created a powerful synergy.
It was only natural. I was just a free adventurer with no patron. Yet in less than half a year, that same guy gets invited to the lord’s celebration, buys a house, and throws a wedding lavish enough to put even the wealthiest to shame? ‘Ah, this is the kind of thing you can’t help but go all-in on.’
Once is coincidence, twice is luck, but from three onward it’s skill. How else could a broke adventurer rent out an entire church and serve such extravagant food? He must’ve earned it by raiding ruins or slaying powerful monsters. That logical induction raised my value. Especially the impact of having a noble young lady as the officiant.
The proxies who’d sent servants were now huddled together, deep in discussion. Unlike wealth or authority, martial prowess is an important current in this world, yet it can appear from the most unexpected places. On Earth, military strength could be inferred from the movement of assets, but here, a master who trained in the mountains for ten years can single-handedly radiate enough power to match an entire city.
‘If you can trick a guy like that into working for you, it’s pure profit.’ It was basically like discovering a small mine. ‘The Underground Tower incident must’ve spread among the powerful too.’ So I absolutely couldn’t afford to look like an easy mark.
Finding a sponsor for my dimension-travel research was important, and while I didn’t want to turn Franc’s wedding into a business meeting, since they’d come with exactly that in mind, I had to handle them appropriately.
“Hohoho. I recognized Lord Nord’s value from the celebration onward. Standing alongside the city’s finest talents, receiving praise from the lord—”
“Did you know? There are many vicious monsters near Sargadis that stock up on nutrients before hibernation, and their hides are at their highest quality right around this time—”
Next person, and the next, all offering lip service. I get that they want to butter me up, but I wish they’d stop already. Their drool is making everything feel soggy. My manners and etiquette are still at the level of a twenty-something college student from the 21st century.
I’d studied the etiquette for an otherworld wedding beforehand, but these kinds of exchanges were tougher than expected. I was almost jealous of Franc, standing stiffly behind me like a doll, just bowing at the waist. With her makeup touched up, she clung to me like a shadow, acting as if to say, “I don’t know anything. I’m just a cute wife.” Thanks to that, the aggro thankfully didn’t get pulled in her direction.
“Haa……”
The people who’d been swarming around eventually backed off after drawing an appropriate line. While I was catching my breath, Dorka held out a glass.
“Keh keh. You’ve had it rough. Did they drag you to places like this back in Kitai too? Buzz said you’d handle it fine even if we left you alone.”
Buzz? Who the hell is Buzz, old man? I thought that, then realized it was Cromwell’s nickname. Verzrud Cromwell, so Buzz. Sounds like the kind of name that’d belong to someone who sings really well.
“I grew up in a country where even kids have to handle their own responsibilities.”
“Aha. The law of the wilderness, is it? It’s a harsh custom, but watching you makes it seem not so bad. How troubling.”
Cromwell, who’d come with him, held out his glass. —Clink. Our glasses met. Please go easy. These were rented for the venue—if they break, we’re screwed.
“By the way, it seems quite a few nomination requests were being sounded out, yet you turned them all down. If you wanted rest after your expedition, you could’ve accepted them with some leeway.” Cromwell asked as if it were strange.
Ah, right. That’s why this guy was having a staring contest with Edlyn in the back. He was waiting to see if he could put in a request to me and score a kill, huh? I drank only enough not to get drunk.
“I’ve already accepted a nomination request. And the techniques and magic I’ve been practicing feel like they’re finally on track, so I plan to focus on those as well.”
“My, how diligent. Even after you become a Master-class, please don’t forget that there was once a man named Verzrud Cromwell.”
“Haha. Of course not.”
That’s how I learned from Cromwell the things to be careful about when receiving requests from other high-ranking figures. ‘Connections don’t end just because you’ve made them.’ It’s not over just because you’ve broken the ice. I turned them down this time, but I do plan to accept a few requests later. Even the most capable employee will stop getting invited to year-end parties if they reject every drinking invitation. Once a point of contact is made, you have to maintain it.
‘True connections come from personal closeness.’ Isn’t that what connections are—using personal rapport to gain professional benefits? Just like how our Dana, in her position as research director, funnels requests to me. Without that, the expedition to gather Seidr materials would’ve turned into a complete vacation.
Incidentally, Dana seemed to have become an unwitting victim in some secret networking competition, probably because people were trying to infer her relationship with me. I could see Edlyn handing her ink, claiming it wasn’t on the market yet. Not cosmetics, but ink. She really knew our noona’s tastes. She must’ve found out from the research institute people.
Veronica, perhaps because there were so many married men and women around, looked strangely energetic, while Larilura had gone off to prepare. I handed Franc a drink as well.
“Franc, you drink too. You must be thirsty.”
“Yeah…… My throat’s dry from all the tension……”
—Gulp. Franc drank the low-alcohol fruit wine. She looked so damn cute, like a hamster drinking from a water dispenser. Both Franc and I were mentally exhausted, so the wedding honeymoon was probably off the table.
“Ah, right. Hey, Dorka. This is the request of a lifetime. Won’t you help me recreate a tradition from my hometown?”
“Let’s hear it.”
“It’s called a ‘hamjin abi.’ You put on this squid mask and break into houses to plunder their valuables.”
“Get lost. I didn’t think much of Kitai, but it’s a terrifying country.”
Damn it. There’s no friendship here, none at all. I wanted to recreate my father’s generation’s culture, but I gave up when I saw everyone’s reactions. I don’t get why they hate squid and octopus so much. If I served them live octopus or squid sashimi, they’d probably faint.
“Dear guests~♡! Are you enjoying yourselves~?”
While we were talking, it seemed the climax of Britannian wedding culture had finished preparing. Larilura hopped onto the stage with a lively wink.
“We can’t have a fun day without a fun song! As the bride and groom’s dearest friend, I, Larilura, will sing one for you~☆!!”
Ah, as expected, a lively, upbeat congratulatory song is the national rule for weddings. As promised, Larilura, now the owner of the microphone-like magic item, began singing the congratulatory song she’d practiced with the choir. Clara could be seen clapping along, apparently familiar with the tune.
Franc leaned in close, linking arms and resting her head against me. The singing continued, flowing into new songs and requests, lifting the atmosphere of the venue. I listened to the congratulatory songs with a feeling of indescribable satisfaction washing over me.
Between husband and wife, just as physical satisfaction like nighttime activities was important, so was spiritual exchange. Sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Franc made me feel like I owned the world.
But even a joyful, exciting wedding must come to an end. There is no party that lasts forever. Unless there’s a festival that never ends, a good party is defined by how gracefully it wraps up.
“Ah, ahem. Dear guests. Thank you so much for attending my and my wife’s wedding today.”
So when Larilura’s song came to a close, I stepped onto the stage.
“I was truly glad to have connections with all of you—it was a genuinely happy wedding. It would be a shame if such a joyful time just fizzled out. Therefore, I’d like to close the ceremony with a tradition from my homeland.”
This seemed like the right way to end the wedding. I’d already obtained religious permission in advance. I picked up a bouquet that had been used as decoration somewhere in the hall.
“In the land where I was born and raised, there’s a custom called a bouquet toss. On the wedding day, whoever catches the bouquet thrown by the bride is said to be the next to marry.”
At my words, the women scattered throughout the venue had a change in their eyes. Good. I was worried they wouldn’t respond well.
“Ladies who are interested, please wait on the right side. Once preparations are complete, my wife will throw it.”
—Whoosh. The moment I finished speaking, the women moved immediately. But I hadn’t thought this through. This was a world where polygamy was possible. As a result, a spectacle unfolded where even women in their forties gathered to catch the bouquet. Edlyn, are you trying to seduce more men again?
“I-I just throw it?” Franc asked from behind, shrinking under the pressure she felt. The magic of the wedding dress seemed to have ignited a fire in the hearts of spinsters and reverse-harem masters alike.
“Yeah. Just throw it however you like. Whoever catches it is up to competition anyway.”
At my words, the women lowered their stances and even raised their mana. Damn, these people are dead serious.
“Ah, I said it’s a competition, but please don’t interfere with each other. Violent acts are prohibited.”
I wanted to tell them not to use magic at all, but doing so would make balancing warriors and mages impossible. Let’s just pray as the organizer that no casualties occur.
“Thump thump thump thump thump thump~♡!”
Sensing the mood, Larilura provided BGM from the stage. The orchestra members played along accordingly.
“Hah, hyah!”
Just as I was thinking I should tip them, Franc, unable to withstand the pressure, threw the bouquet.
—Whoosh! A white bouquet soared through the air!
The women, both married and unmarried, who had lowered their stances exchanged glances as if to determine who would move first, their fighting spirit rising. It was at that explosive moment.
—Tap!! The pink-haired circus girl leaped after throwing away the microphone-like magic item. The gathered women were caught off guard. Their mistake was forgetting that the jukebox providing BGM from behind the stage was a young maiden.
—Catch!! The flying jukebox performed two somersaults in midair, careful not to let her skirt ride up. She snatched the bouquet and landed. Larilura, who also casually caught the falling microphone, covered her face with the bouquet.
“Hehehe, ahaha♡!” Of course, she couldn’t hide the smile blooming on her youthful face. “Congratulations on your marriage, senior♡!”
Seeing Larilura looking overjoyed, I smacked my forehead. Yeah. Who’s going to stop you.
***
The wedding wrapped up before the sun set. It was apparently one of the etiquettes of a wedding. They say it’s a bad omen if the sun sets during the ceremony. So the guests quickly took their leave. After seeing them off with thanks, I approached Franc.
“Franc, aren’t you tired?”
“Hehe. Not really. It just feels good, like we actually pulled it off?”
Franc smiled brightly. I gave her a kiss on the cheek. She giggled, ticklish.
Dana and Veronica also let down their styled hair.
“My, my. You two are just radiating affection.”
“Hmm. Human weddings are quite unique. It’s understandable why human women would have romantic fantasies about them.”
“No no? I’ve been to one, so I know—ordinary weddings don’t have this kind of glamorous feel. It’s more like a neighborhood festival where even if a clown from a circus troupe puts on an acrobatics show, it doesn’t feel out of place?”
I’ll have to ask for your understanding regarding the differential treatment. Today’s main character is Franc, after all.
While we were talking like that, I was watching the helpers clean up when Lady Hennessis, who had stayed until the very end, called me over. I gave Franc another kiss on the cheek.
“Franc. I’m just going to talk business for a bit. I’ll be right back, so wait here.”
“Okay. Go ahead.”
Leaving the bride alone on the wedding day was something I shouldn’t do, but it couldn’t be helped. Without her, today’s wedding itself would’ve been difficult.
I entered the church’s private meeting room. A nun with a blank expression greeted me.
“Welcome, Nord.”
“Yes. I’m sorry for being late.”
“No. I’m the one who should apologize for taking time away from your wife.”
Even her apologetic tone was humble to just the right degree. That was only natural. The difference in status between her and me was that vast. Even after receiving baptism and becoming a proper nun, she hadn’t stopped being a noble’s daughter. I showed the proper courtesy as I’d learned at the celebration.
“Thank you for officiating the wedding like this, my lady.”
“Not at all. It was compensation for the nomination request, so there’s no need to worry.”
A nomination request. That was why I’d had to firmly reject the networking proposals. I’d already received the payment in advance, and she wasn’t someone I could afford to slack off on. And in truth—— it was a request we couldn’t refuse.
“Then let’s keep it brief. Silver-class adventurer Nord. I will once again make an unofficial request to you.”
As I sat down, Lady Hennessis, whom I’d reunited with at the Mage Guild a month ago, bit her lip and spoke.
“Please find my precious friend—— Tyrsie Armasunas.”