Orichalcum (5): No Women on the Boat
When I knelt in front of Franc and Dana explained everything with whispers and gestures, a thoroughly mortified Larilura declared, “……I’ll only speak Romanian until we leave this city.” It occurred to me that if a person is truly driven to the absolute limit of shame, their head might spin until they faint.
“Whatever. Everyone makes mistakes.”
“If you searched the entire world, the only crazy bitch who’d scream about how compatible she is with some guy in the middle of a crowded street would be her.”
She had a point. With superhuman patience honed by Lamaze breathing exercises, I barely kept those words from slipping out. What if I said something like that to an eighteen-year-old girl in the middle of puberty and she hanged herself that night?
At any rate, Franc and Dana didn’t seem particularly shocked by Larilura’s explosive statement.
“Hehe. I was wondering what it was about. I thought you two had gone off to get your fortunes read or something.”
“……Compatibility fortune? Does that even qualify for a business license? If that brainless husband of ours was the type to make us wait around while he chased other women, our house would’ve burst at the seams ages ago.”
What the hell. I couldn’t tell if they believed her or not. Still, they didn’t sound angry, so thank goodness. Our wives’ hearts were as broad as my pectoral muscles.
I rubbed my chest and told Larilura, “Speaking Romanian is fine, but Romania and Germania aren’t exactly on good terms. If you go around using Romanian, it could cause problems.”
“Hiiiiii……”
It seemed Larilura had heard about that fact; her whole body stiffened.
“……Senior. I want to buy a hat. A hat.”
Was she trying to hide her face? That much was acceptable.
“After we’re done. I’ll just buy what I need and we’ll leave. Does anyone need anything?”
“Ah, wait a moment. I wish to purchase some texts on dispelling magic circles.”
Veronica pointed toward the magic bookstore as she spoke. Dispelling texts? I blinked, and a telepathic message arrived.
I intend to decipher the magic circle inscribed on the slate. It will not be unrelated to your own goals. We should be able to reproduce spatial teleportation—or at the very least, subspace magic.
What? For real?
We continued our conversation through telepathic exchange. Reproducing spatial teleportation would be difficult, but subspace magic was worth attempting. Subspace was extremely high-level sorcery, yet modern Earth techniques could replicate it. In other words, if that research succeeded, it would be no different from obtaining the inventory system—the national rule of Korean fantasy novels!
It would also aid Veronica’s dimensional travel research, just as she had said. While there was a gap between dimensional and spatial movement similar to the difference between space travel and aviation research, they surely shared some knowledge and know-how.
‘Besides, subspace magic is one of those spells that’s nearly impossible to buy with money.’
Calling it the other-world Coca-Cola recipe might be a slight exaggeration, but it was roughly as rare as a mid-sized company’s trade secret. I had given up on the idea because analyzing the real thing and reproducing it would require enormous equipment and funds, but if Veronica was speaking this confidently, there had to be a real possibility of success!
My eyes sparkled as I exhaled sharply through my nose.
Whoa, thanks so much! Is there anything I can help with?
Pay it no mind. I have been freeloading at your house with nothing particular to do. For now, I plan to learn several techniques from the human magical system. That should greatly shorten the intermediate steps of analysis.
Thank you. I’ll be cheering you on. Oh, but if you’re researching magic circles, why not look into the Sleipnir transport circle connected to your holy land?
Had the Bicorn tribe never considered researching it? Veronica’s eyes widened as if my telepathic suggestion had been completely unexpected.
Foolish one. Were it you, it might be different, but for us such an act would be blasphemy.
The hell? Just researching a magic circle gets labeled blasphemy?
Interpreting a magic circle that the gods had deliberately left behind was considered sacrilege? I frowned at the ridiculously strict doctrine. I had rarely seen any religion with such an ironclad creed that wasn’t completely insane.
“Merely” researching, you say. Our ways of thinking truly differ.
Veronica gave a bitter smile, as if my reaction fascinated her.
It is not strictly forbidden by law. Yet what choice do we have? Our tribe has lived for thousands of years as sinners receiving divine punishment. Our caution may appear pathetic, but please understand.
No, I don’t think it’s wrong. If it might be dangerous, it’s better not to do it.
Still, I understood. Although their ancestor Sleipnir had the form of a horse, the Bicorn tribe’s self-awareness was humanoid. If Koreans believed they had been cursed to transform into bears or tigers in front of foreigners, it would be horrifying. Bears and tigers were cool, but appearing in human settlements would get them shot on sight without question. When Veronica first met us, she had been in a similar state.
‘Having been cursed like that, their caution is inevitable.’
Even if some brave Bicorn tried to investigate the gods’ traces, their own kin would beat them for it. “Are you going to take responsibility if the curse worsens or never lifts because of you?” they would demand. That was probably why Veronica had only chased after traces of human society like rune stones. In that light, the fact that I was Odin’s successor must have been enormously helpful to her. With the twin shields of a prophet’s foretelling and a god’s heir, the tribe’s old fogeys would have no grounds to object.
“What are you two talking about?”
Franc showed interest in our telepathic exchange, so I stopped that train of thought. In any case, research related to space was always welcome. I gave the party members a rough explanation, and we bought several books on dispelling magic circles.
Britannia silver coins. Will this suffice for payment?
Yes. We will return the change in our nation’s currency.
The magic books were ridiculously expensive, as expected of genuine editions from a world obsessed with money, but astonishingly Veronica paid for all of them out of her own pocket. She might be the wealthiest member of our party.
Before leaving the guild I also bought a magical external hard drive to enchant my spear with, and we headed for the harbor. I planned to secure passage on a ship before sightseeing around the city.
──But, fucking hell.
Put women on my ship? Four of them?
Every time we brought it up, the sailors gave the exact same scripted reply.
Try somewhere else. There’s no room for women on my boat.
All while spouting that sexist garbage.
“I’m starting to question machismo myself, damn it.”
I sat on the harbor stairs like Rodin’s Thinker taking a shit and muttered those words.
“Those fucking sea gays. What’s their problem with putting women on ships?”
Had those bastards turned their cabins into some kind of onahole exhibition hall? I couldn’t understand why they turned pale with horror at the mere idea of our party members boarding. As I had mentioned several times before, this other world surprisingly embraced gender equality. Even without bringing up extreme examples like polyandry, the nation of Germania itself proved it. Though it was a macho country on the surface, its actual social structure was matriarchal!
Germania was a country where women handled domestic affairs. The gender ratio among nobles was something like four-to-six or three-to-seven, with women occupying many high offices. The current monarch being a queen said it all.
According to my common sense, such matriarchal societies had existed on Earth as well. Yet the very nation I had expected to be free of gender discrimination in appointments had just delivered a massive “fuck you” to our schedule with male-supremacist gender ideology! It felt exactly like those foreigners who got suckered by K-dramas, came to Korea hoping to see Song Joong-ki or Gong Yoo, then had their fantasies shattered by the reality of nerds in glasses rolling around everywhere.
At this point the sailors visible along the coast looked like sailor-gay warriors to me.
“Franc. Got any guesses?”
Dana asked while back-hugging Franc. Seeing my wives stuck together like rice cakes made me want to squeeze between them.
“I have no idea. I’ve heard a lot about Germanic culture since childhood, but the coastal regions have very different customs from the inland areas.”
“Ah, that makes sense. My hometown was a northern island, so I know what you mean. When I first went down to central Britannia, I had a hard time.”
It seemed even Franc didn’t know. There was no point asking Veronica. Even though her roots were Germanic, she was the most ignorant of human society in our party.
“Senior~? I have a good idea~?”
The junior who poked my side with her finger. The only pink-haired minor in our party who wore a straw hat and dreamed of becoming the Clown King.
“What is it, Larilura?”
“Since we’re not getting any answers from the sailors, let’s explore the city first☆!”
Larilura pressed down on her straw hat (three coppers), which looked ready to fly away in the wind. Wearing a one-piece dress and straw hat, she looked like a college student on a beach date.
“This is from my personal experience? The atmosphere of any region is easiest to grasp at souvenir shops and restaurants♡! People who do business with tourists always try to polish the city’s image!”
“Tourists, huh.”
She had a point. As long as we avoided the kind of restaurants in front of Nonsan Training Camp that cheated customers because they’d never see their faces again, gathering information there should be fine.
“True. And it’s almost lunchtime anyway, so let’s look around for a bit.”
The sailors had mostly gone out on their boats, so we hadn’t been able to ask many questions. We had plenty of time, but every day was money; we needed to spend it efficiently.
Thus we headed toward the food alley lined with street stalls.
──Sniff sniff.
Veronica elegantly covered her mouth and nose as she smelled the air. The scents wafting through the alley must have been sweet; her eyes and head refused to stay still.
‘One of the troubles of being a mana awakener like us.’
If you didn’t consciously suppress it, your mana-enhanced sense of smell could be assaulted like this. The brain filtered out disgusting odors moderately, but pleasant smells poured in without limit, making your stomach growl.
“Larilura’s Life Point Lecture♡! You’ll never lose out by lining up at a shop that smells good!”
“A honey tip only people confident in their skills can use.”
Just as Dana said, we who were confident in our abilities were drawn like foxes to a certain skewer stall.
In this other world, fifty percent of tourists were adventurers. Forty percent were merchants, archaeologists, circus troupes, and others on long-distance business trips. The remaining ten percent were nobles. Perhaps because of that, the line at the stall was full of adventurers. Following the crowd usually led to average results.
3 skewers — 1 copper
Warning: Very spicy. Not for the faint of heart.
Nine, please.
It’s spicy. You okay with that?
Yep.
I bought nine skewers so no one would be left out. Three for one copper. The reasonable price made me like the place even more. The less a shop played games with pricing, the more trustworthy their food tended to be.
“Ah, this is lamb. Looks delicious!”
The heavy drinker Franc seemed to love lamb skewers even without Tsingtao; her reaction was genuinely cute. Seeing her happy over such small things made spending money on Franc feel worthwhile.
“It’s spicy, so be careful.”
“Hehe. How spicy could it possibly── Kek!”
Why did everyone’s words keep coming true today? Franc bit into the skewer with pure bliss on her face, then immediately started choking. It hadn’t smelled that spicy; maybe it was the spices?
“Kek, puhi, ugh……”
“Lift your head. Here’s some water. Water Creation.”
Since we weren’t carrying canteens, it had been a while since I used the water-shooting spell. A stream of water flowed from my finger.
Franc closed her eyes and drank the water jet. ‘Holy shit.’ The sight of Franc with tears streaming down her face, mouth open, drinking the water looked… suggestive. It resembled some kind of obscene performance. Dana muttered while biting into her own skewer.
“……Fucking pervert. It’s going to be exhausting trying to keep up with your fetishes.”
“Water Creation.”
“Ack, you son of a bitch! Hey! Don’t spray it on my face—kek, kyaack!”
You usually swallow everything that comes out of my body just fine. Why the complaint now? I channeled a merciless Western gunslinger and hosed my big sister’s face with water.
“Fufu. There is never a dull moment around you.”
Veronica enjoyed our family talk show for a while before neatly pulling the meat off her skewer. At first her brow furrowed from the spices, but the wrinkles smoothed out the more she chewed.
“Mmm……. Mm? ……Mm.”
From the second bite onward Veronica ate in silence, completely focused. Her eyes sparkled; she seemed satisfied.
“The aroma is excellent. What kind of seasoning is this?”
“They must have blended spices from many countries. It is a trade city, after all.”
“I see……. It has a distinctive flavor. A dish born from the vast exchanges of human society.”
Veronica savored the skewer while marveling at Dana’s explanation.
“Ugh……”
Only Larilura was the one grimacing and sticking her tongue out. Her tongue was surprisingly long. I hadn’t noticed because she usually only stuck out the tip.
“This doesn’t suit my taste. Senior? Would you like to eat mine instead?”
“Hand-me-downs. Troublesome.”
“I ate it cleanly. This is your golden chance to taste food I’ve put my mouth on, you know?”
“How can someone live their life with such relentless positivity?”
I knew she was joking, but I still pulled my head back and declined. That was when—
──Ahem.
Veronica hid the now-empty skewer behind her back and cleared her throat.
“……Would one more be acceptable? If not, I shall go purchase some myself.”
“Eat as many as you want. I bought more than the number of people.”
──Nod.
It was an unhesitating headbang of approval. All the extra skewers were swiftly sucked into Veronica’s stomach. Since it had only been a light pre-meal snack, I had no complaints.
‘This is the first time I’ve seen Veronica look so happy.’
She looked far more joyful than when she talked about curse-dispelling methods. Duty and hobby really were different things. I didn’t know what she had been eating in the forest, but her cheeks relaxed completely at the sweet-and-savory street stall food loaded with spices.
‘Overall, Germania’s average food quality is better than Britannia’s.’
While we wandered around snacking like that, it happened.
──Crash!
A male adventurer suddenly rolled out of a shop! We stopped walking mid-conversation. What the hell? A fight?
“Ugh…… kek. My stomach’s gonna burst, fuck……”
The man left only those words before sprawling out on the street like a starfish. His belly was swollen like a three-month-pregnant woman’s—pure horror. Fucking terrifying! Did those Germanic gay bastards even have magic that could impregnate men?
Terrified, I checked the shop’s sign.
Finish everything within 20 minutes — Eat for FREE!
“Ah, so that’s what it is.”
Relieved, I looked at the fallen man again. His bloated belly was apparently the fate of an adventurer who had challenged that dish and lost.
‘So they have these kinds of restaurants in the other world too.’
Curious, I focused my sense of smell. The scent coming from inside the shop was surprisingly fragrant. Even though I was already somewhat full, it still smelled good, so it had to be a decent place.
“How interesting. Nor, would you like to try?”
“Franc, eating contests and machismo are completely different genres.”
That said, I completely agreed that it looked incredibly fun.
“Shall we eat and then go watch? Anyone object?”
No one did. We decided this would be the restaurant where we would fill our stomachs before sightseeing until sunset. If the owner was a sailor, we might be able to ask why those sea gays refused to let women board their ships.
But the moment I stepped inside with that thought, my face froze.
──Slurp! Slurp!
──Slurp! Slurp!
Huge bowls as wide as jjajangmyeon trays and as deep as naengmyeon basins, piled high with seafood! The interior was a battlefield where food fighters systematically devoured seafood towers. Muscular middle-aged men filled every table, staring at the hourglasses on their tables while enjoying their tower defense against the seafood.
“What the actual fuck. I lived a decent life, yet here I am.”
They said that when you died, you mixed and ate all the food you left behind in life. Was this the practice ground for that?
While I stood overwhelmed by the restaurant that somehow smelled of sweat despite its clean appearance, the owner spotted us. A macho man whose arms alone were as thick as a Chinese restaurant owner’s.
Welcome! How many in your party?
“No, fuck. We’ll just leave.”