Cannibals (3)
What? What?!
Veronica jolted upright in shock, not even bothering to shake the dust from her horns as she stared at me. I tapped my shoulder with the spear shaft and spoke again.
“I’ll help too. With smashing that ogre bastard.”
“Yeah. While I’m at it, I’ve got something to ask Tirsi too.”
At my answer, Veronica was so stunned she couldn’t even speak. It was written all over her face that she’d never dreamed I’d say something like this. Of course, the real reason I’d added fighting to my options was because taking down the ogre would bring me plenty of benefits too.
First, stealing the mana the ogre had stockpiled would be incredibly useful. If beating the shit out of him triggered the Succession phenomenon, I’d also get confirmation that rune users were valid targets for mana absorption. On the other hand, if I just turned around and left now? The guild masters who heard the news would definitely dock points from my evaluation. I’d just become a married man—money and connections were more important than ever. A drop in my reputation was the last thing I needed.
‘Besides, I wouldn’t feel great if Veronica died either.’
Love her or hate her, she was someone I’d built a connection with, just like Tirsi. Pretending I didn’t know and walking away would’ve left a bad taste in my mouth. Back at the circus I’d treated her coldly like some untamed Pokémon, but after that we’d helped each other out and gotten along pretty well. Having her around in the future would be a big help as a Bicorn—Wiki entry and all.
‘……But the real reason is something else.’
The reason I’d switched to the Ogre Abuse faction was simple—I was fucking pissed. No need to make up some gay-ass excuses. The fact that the bastard had stolen the mana from my rune was more than enough reason to be furious.
‘That son of a bitch threw the first punch however he fucking wanted and sucked out someone else’s mana?’
If he thought he could steal something from a bastard like me and get away with it, he was delusional. The ogre had made a dumber choice than the Russian skinheads whose bikes get jacked. I gripped the spear shaft so hard it felt like I might snap it.
‘You ogre-Umebokdong bastard who steals other people’s precious belongings!!!’
I’ll switch the positions of your eyeballs and your balls!!!
—Fwoooooosh!!!!
White flames blazed before my eyes. Rage that had surpassed all limits burned through my brain!! It was the same cold fury I’d felt as a kid watching Black Rubber Shoes, when those beggar brothers stole Kicheol’s ramen!!
While I was single-mindedly forging my hatred for the ogre into my spear, Veronica spread her own wings of delusion and asked,
“What the fuck is this bitch saying?”
In all my years, I’d never heard such bullshit—scratch that, such horseshit. What the hell would I be lacking that I’d have to fall in love with some random Bicorn friend when I already have Franc and Dana?!
But before I could even say anything, Veronica kept spouting nonsense.
“Shut your mouth. We’re going. I need to ask Tirsi too.”
I ignored her and headed toward Tirsi to explain the situation. But Tirsi came running to me first and shouted,
“Nord! Mister Vegan and Mister Arthus tried to block the ogre and got knocked down!”
“……What?”
Even I couldn’t help but widen my eyes at that.
“Ugh…… Kitai friend, you’ve finally arrived.”
In the building we rushed to, the party members lying in beds were waiting for us. I was genuinely shocked when I saw Arthus wrapped head to toe in bandages. The dwarf old man’s clothes and skin were charred black—he was in the middle of treatment for severe burns.
“Mister Arthus!”
“Don’t shout. Even a dwarf’s eardrums aren’t that tough. And worry about that friend over there first instead of me.”
Arthus pointed at Vegan with his hand. Vegan had been stripped of his upper-body semi-nude armor and was receiving treatment. Unlike Arthus, who was burned but still conscious, he showed no signs of waking up from his faint.
When we fell silent, Arthus snorted.
“I tried to run away and failed, so I don’t deserve any concern. But that friend bravely blocked the ogre’s path and ended up like this.”
“You tried to stop him? That guy?”
“Indeed. I tried to talk some sense into that fool and got hit by the ogre’s magic. This is why people should live according to their station.”
Even with burns all over him, Arthus spoke energetically. It seemed that reaching this state had made his own philosophy hit him even harder.
“With just one spell and one punch, like swatting away a bug, we ended up in this sorry state. If we’d gone into the forest and run into him in his territory, we’d definitely be dead.”
“……Please rest. We’ll get revenge for you.”
“You can say that after seeing the state we’re in? You kids really have no sense of self-preservation.”
“We’re going because we think we have a chance of winning.”
An ogre that was practically a pure physical fighter with almost no vulnerability to attack magic. Realistically, a party of three mages (one of them a hybrid) probably couldn’t clear this boss. But I wasn’t stupid enough to stick my head into a hopeless raid just for the hell of it.
If I activated Beast Regression, I could cut off his head. My sharpened senses and intuition from countless fierce battles had already seen through the ogre bastard’s movements and abilities. I figured I could handle a few of his more threatening moves too. Even if I didn’t have the type advantage, he was still a much more manageable opponent than that Ada Unicorn black mage.
At my words, Arthus clicked his tongue.
“You talk a good game. You have to run away when there’s still a chance of losing if you want to live to my age. If you want to survive long as an adventurer, the smartest thing is to diligently work at a rank one level below your actual ability.”
“Heh heh. Says the guy who ended up like this despite thinking that way.”
The man himself was disproving his own logic with his body. Arthus, who had snorted, spoke.
“It was a mistake to get greedy for rank in my later years. That damn silver plate… what was I thinking.”
“You can probably get it once you recover and go back. Of course, that’ll only happen if we come back alive, so you’ll have to cheer us on.”
“Kekeke. Kha ha ha ha!! That’s true!!”
Arthus clutched his stomach and laughed at my words. The village’s only priest, who had been treating Vegan, glared at him.
“Stop laughing! You’ll reopen your wounds!”
“Whoops. Sorry. Anyway, Kitai friend, take this first.”
Arthus held out something that looked like a pebble he’d kept by his pillow. Then, as if reading a boring daily schedule, he continued.
“Before that idiot got hit, he stuck some kind of location-tracking spell onto the ogre’s clothes.”
“Huh?”
Location tracking? I looked at the pebble that resembled a fortune cookie. When I focused, I could feel mana. Proof that it was a proper magic item.
“The thing I gave you is a magic item that tells you the ogre’s location. Hold it in your palm and it’ll guide you as you move. He explained a bunch of other stuff too, but as you know, the guy can’t talk, so I didn’t understand any of it.”
Arthus grabbed his hat, pulled it over his face like a cowboy, and spoke grumpily.
“I’m just passing on what he told me to give you. Whether you use it to run away or to chase the ogre—that’s up to you kids.”
“Thank you. I’ll make good use of it.”
Since I’d had the Kenaz rune I usually used for tracking stolen, I’d been completely stumped on how to follow the ogre. This was a huge help. To think that foreign bastard Vegan had a trick like this up his sleeve. No matter how much of a troll he was, he really did have the skill to take the silver promotion test.
I pocketed the crescent-shaped stone and wished him a full recovery.
“Don’t die. If you guys aren’t around, I’ll have to make the guild report myself.”
With his face covered by the hat, Arthus must have sensed we were about to leave, because he said that. For someone who drank booze while working, the worry in his voice was a little funny, but I decided to gratefully accept the consideration.
We left the treatment center that was a temple in name only.
“Tirsi. Me and that Bicorn over there are going to hunt the ogre now. What will you do?”
“……Hehe. Somehow it always ends up like this with you, Nord.”
I’d already explained on the way that my rune’s mana had been stolen, so Tirsi answered that way. I waved my hand as if I was sick of it.
“Last time it was a thesis, this time it’s mana? You’re not wrong. I don’t know why there are so many thieves in this world.”
“It’s probably the same everywhere. And of course, I’m coming with you.”
Tirsi said after looking at the treatment center and the destroyed village.
“You called my unnecessary meddling a ‘duty I don’t need to shoulder,’ but unfortunately, you were wrong. To me, this is all just necessary rehearsal.”
“I see. Then I’ll be counting on you again this time.”
“Of course.”
We ended the conversation with a handshake. A question briefly rose in my mind, but I chose not to ask anything. What good would digging deeper do in a situation like this? Anyone had the right to hold onto a big dream.
Veronica, realizing the conversation was over, spoke.
“Yeah. About five hours left.”
I checked my watch and answered. Her accuracy was crazy. So this was that internal clock thing or whatever.
“Right. There’s no loss even if we fail. Tirsi. If it’s alright with you, could you help us?”
“If it increases our chances of winning, of course. What would you like me to help with?”
Tirsi answered in a sharp, businesslike tone. I closed my watch and said,
“We’re going to break the curse on Veronica.”
Bicorns were originally horned, human-shaped divine beings resembling humans. Since I’d seen Veronica’s true form in my dreams, I was able to accept it without much discomfort. But it seemed to be quite a shock for Tirsi.
“I-I see……”
As I translated Veronica’s words and explained, Tirsi’s small face turned bright red. I felt a little sorry for completely ruining the serious atmosphere we’d had until just now, but according to Veronica, regaining her divine form would be a much greater help in the fight against the ogre. Though Veronica herself was looking at me with clear suspicion.
“It worked on the hamal.”
She’d already complained plenty and now she says that? Tirsi, who had been quietly watching Veronica send telepathy, asked a question.
“Um, Nord? How exactly do you converse with Miss Veronica?”
“With rune magic. She says she’s ready now.”
“Y-yes. ……But may I ask what changes when she returns to human form?”
“She’ll be able to use different magic. Apparently the vocal structure of a horse can’t properly chant human spells.”
“A-ah, I see. That makes sense.”
Tirsi nodded as if she understood. Unlike rune magic, which even a monster’s vocal cords could pronounce, other spell systems required precise pronunciation that a human throat was needed for. No matter how much she went “Hihihihing~ Hihiheng~” the spell wouldn’t activate. When I thought about it, it was obvious.
Veronica sat down with her legs folded and spoke resolutely. Tirsi hesitated shyly before placing her hand on Veronica’s back.
“Turrrr!!!”
The effect was instantaneous. The moment a true maiden’s touch—acknowledged by the unicorn’s barrier—made contact, Veronica began trembling violently like someone with a severe tickling disorder.
“N-Nord!!”
At the screams of the two women of different species, I took off my gauntlet and shouted.
“Where does it itch?! Just tell me!”
“Then I’ll just scratch everything!!”
Transformed into a human back-scratcher, I wildly scratched Veronica’s fluffy fur like I was playing with the village mutt. The only method I knew to break a curse was—scratching the itchy spots!
“How the fuck should I know?! Go complain to the gods who designed it this way!!”
Who the hell designs a curse that gets broken by scratching?! I’d heard that myths often contained humorous elements, but getting caught up in the pranks of actual mythical gods wasn’t funny at all. Mister Chaplin. You were right. Even a comedic life becomes a tragedy when you look at it up close.
It was then. While Tirsi and I were holding down Veronica in rodeo mode, she let out a moan as if she’d realized something.
“I’ll scratch the horns too!!”
Because I was surprised, I grabbed Veronica’s now-docile horn and scratched it.
“Kyaaah──?!”
Only after I’d rubbed the horn did I realize there was no way it could be itchy, but Veronica trembled violently as if she’d been shot and let out a high-pitched scream. That scream reached my ears as an actual human voice.
—Fwaaaaaah!!!
White light bloomed as Veronica’s body flashed. When Tirsi and I stepped aside, the light gathered into a sphere and began growing human limbs like glass being shaped. She was transforming into human form.
—Fwah!!
When less than three seconds had passed,
Before us stood the beautiful woman with sheep horns whom I had seen in my dreams. She was speaking in ancient Germanic, just like when she used rune magic for telepathy, and it was unmistakably a physical voice coming from moving lips.
So saying, Veronica lifted the hem of her traditional Romanian dress and gave me a graceful bow—
—and let out a stupid sound as her eyes widened.
Veronica let out a scream that didn’t match her elegant appearance, as if someone were licking her neck. I grabbed the violently trembling girl in surprise.
“H-Hey!! Veronica!! Are you okay?!”
Perhaps because she had finally succeeded in breaking the curse she had longed for and returned to human form, Veronica stubbornly insisted she was fine.
“The scent of a virgin” was an absolutely amazing expression. Following a gut feeling that flashed through my head, I asked the flustered Tirsi for a favor.
“T-Tirsi!! I’m sorry!! Could you please step outside for a moment?!”
“Y-Yes!!”
I asked her to leave because I wondered if Tirsi’s presence was somehow triggering the virgin-rejection reaction, but even after the red-faced Tirsi went outside, Veronica’s trembling showed no signs of stopping.
“Hey! Where does it itch that badly?!”
When I grabbed her shoulders and asked, Veronica answered while trembling. Tears had even formed in her eyes.
Veronica, who had been twisting her face in resentment, suddenly seemed to notice something and looked down at her own hand.
One second. Two seconds. Three seconds.
Her face turned as red as if it had been burned, and Veronica reverted back to her horse form. The first attempt at breaking the curse had ended in failure.