Promotion Test (5)
Tirsi stared at me with an expression that suggested she was having a hard time processing what she’d just heard. “A four-armed ogre wiped out the orcs and then left, you say?”
Even if I presented a fresh orc nose as evidence, it would be difficult to believe. I couldn’t exactly blame her. After all, what were the odds that we’d arrive in the village just as the orcs were getting slaughtered, letting us collect every single quest item in a single day? If we reported this to the guild as-is, the receptionists would probably think we were full of shit.
“Yeah. Still, since the noses are fresh, I figure we can just chill here for a few days before heading back. Of course, we’ll have to file a report about the ogre.”
I took a sip of the water Tirsi had poured for me and continued. Considering the round-trip time, even if the orc noses had been left out for four or five days, they wouldn’t have spoiled. Besides, as I’d mentioned before, this world’s magical investigation included spells that could determine “how long ago a wound was inflicted.” For example, if there was a hole in Tirsi’s wall, that spell would tell you exactly how long the hole had been there. Think of it as the otherworld version of luminol. That kind of magic would almost certainly be used during the Silver Class promotion test too—specifically to check whether applicants were cheating by using pre-collected orc noses.
‘Of course, if you cover it with mana, the test won’t work. But we’re not going to cast any spells on these noses anyway.’
Just like wiping away fingerprints, that investigative magic could have its traces erased with mana. In other words, if I hit these orc noses with a freezing beam or something, it would make them hard to examine. Naturally, doing something that malicious would result in immediate disqualification. It was like showing up to the college entrance exam wearing a smartwatch—no matter how much you bitched and made excuses, you’d still get kicked out.
I set my cup down and spoke again.
“What do you want to do? If we share them with the other applicants and ask them to keep quiet, we could all pass.”
“……You didn’t find any other orcs?”
“Nope. I checked with Animal Conversation, and it looks like the owners of these noses were the last orcs left in that forest. If the guild doesn’t give us a retake, we’ll have to give up on passing this year.”
I roughly laid out my prediction. If the orcs had been wiped out by adventurers and couldn’t reproduce properly, even combing through the entire forest wouldn’t turn up eight more of them. ‘Plus there’s an ogre in there too.’ Since the forest was vast, venturing too deep could lead to monsters our party couldn’t handle—even without the ogre. I guess determining “how far you’re willing to risk your life to complete a request” was one of an adventurer’s skills. It was exactly the kind of batshit, otherworld-style test I’d come to expect.
‘But is passing purely on luck also considered cheating?’
To adventurers, luck was part of your ability. If they were going to fail the applicants who were unlucky enough not to find any orcs, then they should also pass those of us who got lucky, right?
As I was thinking that, Tirsi spoke up.
“I have no intention of giving up. Since Nord helped me, I don’t want to act like I’m the only clean one.”
Tirsi, who had called me to her room while dressed lightly, curved her pure white eyebrows into a gentle arc. She was smiling.
“Besides, I’m not such a good girl either. Picking up a coin that someone dropped isn’t a crime, is it?”
“Heh heh heh heh. I like how flexible you are, Tirsi.”
“Hehe. I just picked up a few tricks while suffering in the Mage Guild.”
“Tricks are good. That’s how everyone grows up.”
And so we decided to wipe our mouths clean and take the free quest items. If you thought about it, if we’d arrived just a little earlier we might have been the ones getting attacked by the ogre while fighting the orcs! So this could be considered fair compensation for the danger.
“Still, it’d be best to give the village chief a little hint. If we want to avoid any annoying suspicions from the guild, we’ll need to stay here for a few days.”
“Right. We can’t say we arrived in the village and immediately found and hunted them. If we say we borrowed horses, wouldn’t staying just one night be enough?”
“Let’s do that. We’ll leave tomorrow morning when the sun rises.”
Norde and Tirsi reached an agreement on the fact that neither of them wanted to stay in this place for days on end. Stay here with those fucking troll bastards? Hell no. ‘If I dawdle in the village and the ogre shows up, I’d have to fight alongside those idiots.’ After suffering through a chain of shitty events recently, I no longer indulged in complacent thoughts like “Nah, it’ll probably be fine.” I’d realized this year that I had a talent for attracting trouble. When you thought about it, the fact that I’d been dragged into another world in the first place proved I wasn’t blessed with ordinary luck. There probably wasn’t anyone else whose fortune swung so extremely between good and bad.
In other words, the moment I got a bad premonition like this, I needed to prepare for the worst. If I acted like a cocky autumn boar and bragged that there was no way a damn ogre would appear in front of me, I’d end up dead before I knew it. I had absolutely no intention of grabbing those troll bastards by the collar and carrying their souls through a deathmatch with me. In a fight between an ogre and a troll, the ogre would obviously win. Maybe not everywhere, but in Korea, that was simply how it was. Because from the dawn of fantasy, the gods had set it so that Troll Power < Ogre Power. Trolls were nothing more than potion ingredient sacks. Those troll bastards, who obviously didn’t even have a healing factor, would definitely get crushed like ripe persimmons under the ogre’s fist.
‘I want to leave right away, but it’s too dark at night.’
If we ran at a reasonable pace, it would take about five or six days. Even if we pushed it, we probably wouldn’t get caught. Honestly, if the guild had done proper preliminary investigation, we wouldn’t have had to go this far. But since they sent these worthless pieces of shit here, the guild had no right to complain. Even a snail with brain parasites wouldn’t think of entering a forest where a crazy ogre was roaming just to hunt orcs. If we told the village chief and gave the guild a heads-up, we would have fulfilled our duty as adventurers.
“I’ll go call the others.”
After leaving Tirsi’s room, I summoned the troll bastards. Those fuckers who had been doing absolutely nothing put on faces that said “We’re busy, what do you want?” But the moment I showed them the fresh orc drop items still dripping with blood, they obediently followed.
“What the hell happened?”
Arthas, who smelled of alcohol but didn’t seem particularly drunk, asked. Maybe he really had adjusted his drinking according to his own standards like Tirsi said? I set down the pouch containing the orc noses and spoke.
“While I was scouting, I happened to discover that the orcs had been massacred. I asked the villagers, but apparently no other adventurers had come. I think the monsters in the forest must have fought among themselves today.”
“So you cut off their noses?”
Vegan asked, lamenting the orcs’ deaths. It was a stupid way of thinking and terrible grammar, but I understood what he meant.
“Yes. But aside from these guys, I could barely find any traces of orc activity. It looks like the few orcs that remained were completely wiped out. Since entering the forest is dangerous, I was thinking of using these to pass the promotion test. What do you guys think?”
“We’re lucky! Let’s do it!”
“Ro-ma!”
These adorable little shitheads. I knew it. When I thought about the accidents these guys would cause once they became Silver Class, I felt a slight twinge of conscience, but there was nothing I could do to stop them from shitting themselves. I could only hope these trolls would live within their means.
Just as I was about to distribute the orc noses with that thought in mind, the drunk dwarf Arthas suddenly clapped his hands as if something had occurred to him.
“Oh! But will that be okay? The examiner will be watching the process. Won’t we at least need to pretend to wander around the forest?”
“Examiner? No. According to what Nord investigated, we’re the only ones who’ve come to the village.”
When Tirsi said that, I nodded. Assuming that village girl hadn’t been mistaken, anyway. But Arthas frowned as if it made no sense.
“What are you talking about? Didn’t I say this is my fourth promotion test? The examiner should have arrived in the village first. While I was out, didn’t a guild member come and explain everything?”
“Huh? No one came, though?”
“……Is that true?”
Arthas stroked his beard and let out a groan. Vegan, who had been struggling to follow our conversation, raised his hand.
“Won’t he arrive in the village soon? Then we can just say we caught them first because we didn’t know any better.”
“Idiot! Before the test, the guild sends either hired adventurers or receptionists who were formerly Silver Class!”
Like a veteran fifth-time test-taker, Arthas rattled off the facts he’d learned while taking the exam.
“They come, investigate, and only after they send a carrier pigeon confirming orcs are present does this place get selected as a test site! No matter how busy they were with some strange ruins or whatever, you think the Audumla Guild would skip such an important step?!”
“Wait a moment, Mr. Arthas. So you’re saying that because an approval carrier pigeon came from the examiner, this place was chosen as the test site and we were sent here?”
Tirsi asked, checking if she had understood correctly.
“And the examiner who sent the carrier pigeon stays in the village to explain the test format to us?”
“That’s right. I’ve done it so many times I’m sick of it, so I left it to the party leader and went drinking. After all, the process is always the same, and I was taught that only the party leader needs to hear the explanation.”
“But really, no one came. I was waiting at the inn the whole day today.”
“Ugh…… I don’t know anymore.”
We all fell silent at this incomprehensible situation. Could it be that the so-called examiner was the kind of guy who lived life however the hell he wanted, just like these troll bastards, and had ditched his job halfway and ghosted?
‘No, he must have at least properly sent the carrier pigeon. That’s why this place was selected as the test site.’
This was another world where real-time communication wasn’t possible. After the examiner sent the carrier pigeon and before he could come out to greet us, something must have happened to him. I moistened my lips with water and spoke.
“You said no one other than us has entered the village, right? What if the examiner went into the forest to investigate before coming to the village?”
“Investigate first? What do you mean by that?”
“He just changed the order. We decided to rest for a night before working, but maybe the examiner was the type to finish all his work first and then rest?”
In this world, there were people who finished their tasks before resting, and people who rested first before working. Since this was an incredibly important test for us, we chose to rest our bodies first. But what if the examiner, being well-versed in his duties, had the mindset of finishing everything first and then resting?
“The examiner didn’t take a room at the inn but went straight into the forest, discovered the orcs, sent the approval carrier pigeon to the guild—but never made it back to the village?”
If that were the case, then we would be the only people who had come to the village.
“Then the examiner……”
In the now-silent room, Tirsi muttered with a troubled expression, but she couldn’t finish her sentence. Arthas pulled on his beard and continued for her.
“He’s probably dead. Even if he was injured and couldn’t escape the forest, there’s no chance he’d survive after a week. Don’t you think he was killed by the monster that slaughtered those orcs?”
“……Fuck.”
I couldn’t help but swear. The sweet, easy-as-pie test had suddenly turned into a goddamn horrific mystery thriller.
“We have to go save him!!”
—Crash!
Vegan knocked over his chair as he shot to his feet. True to the guy who always preached about respecting life, he passionately suggested we go rescue the examiner.
“The examiner is still alive! Life is truly important!!”
“Arthas. In my opinion, this test is already ruined. I won’t stop you if you want to go save him, but count me out.”
Arthas clicked his tongue.
“Tsk tsk. I was planning to give up after failing five times, but I guess my fate is to live and die as a Bronze Class adventurer.”
“We’re going!! Short legs!! You come too!!”
“I told you I’m not going. People and monsters only have one life each. I’m going to drink some more.”
Leaving only those words behind, Arthas walked out of the inn. Vegan’s face turned red with rage, veins bulging on his neck. He looked like he’d been betrayed by Arthas.
“Female party leader!!”
“……Mr. Vegan. In Britannia language, we don’t attach feminine particles before titles, and ‘female’ isn’t a feminine particle to begin with.”
“Party leader!! Aren’t you going?!”
“Even if we go, it’ll be tomorrow. It’s far too late at night.”
On the surface it sounded like a cold answer, but sitting beside her, I noticed Tirsi gripping the hem of her skirt so tightly that the back of her hand had turned white. At those words, Vegan snorted.
“Tomorrow then!! I’ll ask again tomorrow!! First I’m going to beat some sense into that short-legged dwarf——!!”
Excited like a gorilla, Vegan stormed out of the room. He was probably going to try to persuade Arthas.
—Creak. Creak.
Tirsi stared at the door that wouldn’t close properly and kept swinging, then asked me.
“What do you want to do, Nord?”
“I think it’s better if we drop it.”
Tirsi’s eyes widened. She clearly hadn’t expected me to say that.
“I’m grateful that you came to save me, but we’re not the kind of people who risk our lives to save someone we don’t even know.”
“……I thought you would go, Nord.”
“If the kidnapped person hadn’t come here willingly, or if it was someone I knew, then maybe. Not to mention my wives—if even Dorka or Clara had gone missing, I would have moved. Because there would clearly be something I could do.”
“But the examiner knew the risks when he came, didn’t he? Saving him if possible would be best, but I think simply warning the villagers and the guild is enough.”
I spoke without any pretense. Unlike the circus incident last time, I hadn’t personally witnessed the victim’s suffering. And unlike when I saved Tirsi, my PTSD hadn’t been triggered to create any sense of empathy.
“We don’t even know how strong that monster is. ‘It’s pitiful’ isn’t a good enough reason to risk your own life.”
Even when I lived in the 21st century, I felt sorry for the starving children I saw on TV in Africa, but I never went to that faraway country to save them. If I had that kind of personality, I would have become a doctor instead of a veterinarian.
“You’re right. Yes. I was the one who first said that I didn’t want to calculate priceless emotions like goodwill.”
Tirsi sounded somewhat deflated as she said that. Seeing her like that left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth.
“Tirsi. This might be a bit presumptuous of me, but I believe that given our relationship, I can say something a little arrogant without it ruining things.”
“……Go ahead.”
Tirsi spoke as if she was afraid of what she might hear. To her, I offered a very presumptuous opinion.
“This isn’t Romania, and we’re not nobles. Please don’t take on responsibilities you have no right to bear.”
“……Ah.”
At those words, Tirsi muttered as if she had realized something. I bowed to the wide-eyed, dazed Tirsi and closed the door to her room.
With a troubled heart, I returned to my own room. There was an old saying that eloquence is silver and silence is golden. But the spear I wield—was it some kind of divine metal, adamantium?! Of course I wasn’t exactly an eloquent speaker, but personally, I believed that when the time came to use it, the silver coins in my pocket were more useful than useless gold coins.
—Click.
With that thought, I returned to my room and opened the door.
“……What the fuck is this?”
But the moment I opened the door, I realized there was already a guest waiting inside. I slapped my forehead in utter disbelief. Half surprised and half dumbfounded, I entered the room, sat my ass on the bed, and asked.
“Why the hell do you always appear out of nowhere? Whether in dreams or in reality, you always pop up at the most random times.”
"That is something I should be saying. Did I not tell you to stay in Sargadis? If the forest of the holy water with the teleportation circle had not been nearby, our paths would have crossed."
“Mrrrow— (Sleepy—.)”
The tiny foal with a cat on its back lay belly-down on the inn room floor and spoke. This cat—was it the one that had nearly died at the hands of that one-legged clown woman in Heisvent? I was a little surprised she was still carrying it around. I crossed my legs and greeted her.
“Yeah, anyway, hello. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you in person. In that foal mode, I mean.”
"If you lift my curse, this will be the last time you see this form."
Veronica said with a chuckle.