Sewer Reconnaissance (4)
“─Oooooooowaaaaaaaaaah!!!!”
“─Hiiiiiikkyaaaaaaaaaah!!!!”
Fear! We were completely dominated by fear! Francesca and I thrashed and screamed side by side. In the face of primal terror, human reason proved utterly fragile.
“Two!!!! Hundred!!!!”
Yet even as we lost our minds, we carried out our mission. I hurled Francesca with every ounce of strength straight toward the iron grate, and she flew forward while still spilling tools from her poncho. “Pyat!!”
Francesca used her ample chest as a cushion and landed flat on the ground. In one fluid motion she pulled out her tools and began picking at the grate. I couldn’t watch any longer.
“Shiiiiiit!!!!”
They were climbing! The bastards were climbing up my exposed head! Since the armor protected my waist and shoulders, they were going straight for my skull. Now I understood why soldiers in history wore helmets even without full armor. I desperately wanted to buy a helmet. I’d blow this year’s entire research grant on it. The moment I got out of here alive, the first thing I was upgrading was cranial defense.
“Let go of my comrade, you filthy insect!!!!”
Gentrict came to my rescue as I twisted and flailed. His sturdy wooden shield slammed into the bug clinging to my back. Thwack!! Splash!! With a sickening sound, the grasshopper-beetle dropped into the sewer water. The heavy sensation vanished from my waist and I burst into tears of relief, dancing with joy.
“Holy shit, shields are awesome!! Shields are the best!! I love you, Gentrict!!”
“Hearing that from a guy doesn’t make me happy at all!!”
Apparently men didn’t need helmets after all. One reliable shield was enough. That was why every party needed a tank. Human shield Gentrict.
At that perfect moment, Tirsi aimed her wand from behind.
“O mana of ice flowing from the north, grant me a fleeting shield to repel these crude tusks!!”
Her chant was lightning fast. Even an Outsider’s wraith would have been slower. Tirsi proved the theory that people’s abilities surged in crisis with her tongue speed alone. She was practically casting without an incantation. She recited that long spell in under a second. Tirsi was the kind of woman who could write “Spell chant: 1-second cut” on her résumé and get away with it.
Crackle— Crack!!
The sound of freezing ice was chillingly sharp. A massive ice wall completely sealed off one side of the wide sewer passage, including the drainage channel. It was one hell of a big shield.
“Hell yeah! We blocked them!!”
I shouted without thinking, too overjoyed to hold back.
“Did we get them?!”
—Thud! Thud! Thud!
Of course we hadn’t. Dull impacts echoed as bodies slammed into the wall. The swarm of grasshopper-beetles, eyes rolling wildly at the sight of prey, were headbutting the ice barrier.
“You bastards! Clingy men aren’t popular!!”
“They’re not bastards, they’re bug bastards!” Gentrict corrected with perfect accuracy.
Whoa! I had a master’s degree and still didn’t know that! Grasshoppers weren’t in the dog family—they belonged to the Orthoptera order, Tettigoniidae! That was the wisdom of experience.
“O-oh no, it won’t hold for long!!”
I had just opened my mouth to say something to the wise old Gentrict when Tirsi blurted out something even more ridiculous.
“What?! No, please put in more effort!!!! If that breaks we’re all going to get bitten and die!!!!”
I screamed so loud the sewer shook. How the hell was a Bronze-class adventurer struggling to block Iron-tier monsters? But it made sense. Even after hitting Bronze, I wouldn’t have been confident taking on twenty Iron-tier thugs in a straight fight.
“I’m sorry!!!!! It’s not about power—it’s a time limit!!!!”
Tirsi clutched her wand and squealed. Fuck. Couldn’t be helped. She’d expanded the range to completely seal this wide passage, so the duration had been cut short.
Clang!!
I was thinking we should just run while the shield lasted when Francesca suddenly jumped up with both arms spread wide.
“It’s open!! It’s open, everyone!!”
“Oho! Well done!! Excellent!!!!”
Gentrict charged forward without even looking back. For a second I thought the old man was abandoning us to save himself, but he grabbed the heavy iron grate lid in Francesca’s place and lifted it. He had rushed ahead to create an escape route for his comrades.
“Hurry and get in!!”
“Gentrict, you’re so good at this!!”
I slung the exhausted Tirsi over my shoulder like luggage and sprinted toward the opening.
…Crack!
We were almost at the grate when a terrifying sound erupted behind us.
—Crash! Shatter!!
“Uwaaaaaaaaah!!!!”
I ran through the sewer faster than I had in twenty-eight years of life. Tirsi and I desperately dove into the passage. Creak! Clang! Gentrict slammed the grate shut less than a second after we jumped in. The larger grasshopper-beetles couldn’t stop their momentum and slammed into the bars one after another. Thudududududu!! In the blink of an eye, their massive compound eyes and bloated abdomens completely covered the grate.
What the hell kind of insects made machine-gun sounds when they moved?
“Aaaagh!! So fucking gross!!”
A wave of revulsion crawled up my spine. I could still feel the front legs of the one that had been on my back. Worse, what if they pried the grate open? It was a hinged design. Even brainless bugs might force a gap if they kept pushing.
“Hnnngh!!”
Tirsi, breathing hard, seemed to share my thought. She fired magic without chanting, as if venting her frustration.
Popopopop!!
Ice arrows flew like missiles and embedded themselves all over the grate. They were pure masses of cold without physical force. Instead of pushing the bars, the arrows froze the grasshopper-beetles clinging to them, sealing the grate in ice.
—Twitch twitch.
The insect legs that had been wriggling outside the bars froze and stopped moving. The entrance was completely sealed.
Ah. Now that was satisfying.
Once the grasshopper-beetles stopped moving, silence returned. Drip… drip… The sound of falling water droplets seemed deafening. We stood there for a long while like zebras beside a sleeping lion, mouths agape, until we finally felt safe enough to relax our shoulders and breathe.
“W-we’re alive…. I thought we were dead….”
“I wholeheartedly agree.”
Francesca’s trembling voice drew an equally heartfelt reply from me. I really had thought we were goners. Who would have guessed we’d end up in a marathon with ancient dung beetles in the sewers?
When I answered with full empathy, Francesca looked at me with watery eyes. Wow, her chest was huge.
“A-actually, I peed a little….”
“I do not agree with that.”
Like hell I was becoming piss-buddy comrades with her.
“Hng….”
“Haha. It’s fine. I used to wet myself on quests all the time when I first started.”
Gentrict laughed heartily. It was information I could have lived without, but since he had carried us hard today, I let it slide.
After we finished reporting on the state of our underwear, we all turned to look at Tirsi as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“…What are you staring at.”
Our Bronze-class party leader turned bright red and looked away. Her charming legs were pressed together in a knock-kneed stance. I nodded gravely, like an archaeologist who had just uncovered a historic mystery.
“It’s all right. My nose is blocked, so I can’t smell anything.”
“Let’s go back!! We need to report to the guild!!”
Tirsi, hugging her wand, shrieked. We decided not to press the matter further. There was no way we could continue scouting in a place crawling with those parentless murder bugs. We had to report to the guild and the guard post so they could start proper extermination.
“Let’s do that. I don’t know why those monstrous insects are so numerous, though.”
“They’re native to the sewers…. There just aren’t usually this many….”
Francesca stared at the flash-frozen grasshoppers as she spoke, but I honestly couldn’t care less. What the hell were we supposed to do with that information? If we were that curious, the guild could summon some otherworld Pablo and analyze them.
Gentrict sighed and looked up at the ceiling.
“Whew. Anyway, let’s get moving. If we follow this path we should reach the surface.”
“Yes. I want to get back to the inn and rest as soon as possible.”
“Buy new underwear on the way.”
“…Why are you looking at me while saying that? I’m perfectly fine, you know?”
We grumbled as we walked toward the surface. It had been a day when the rainbow bridge came right up to our noses and then retreated. How the hell was this an Iron-tier quest? We almost died.
***
We crawled out to the surface through the emergency exit. The door only opened from the inside. We had no trouble stepping out into the fresh air beneath the blue sky and shed a few tears.
“Everyone, gather here for a moment.”
Tirsi set down the lantern and map and spoke. We moved as instructed, puzzled. Once we were together, she drew her wand and chanted.
“Begone. The lingering taint that defiles the body. This is the wind of purification, the southern light breeze.”
When the spell finished, a cold wind blew up and down once. I closed my eyes without thinking, but the wind stopped almost immediately.
“W-what was that just now?”
“It’s a wind-type disinfection spell. It removes odors and light dust.”
Tirsi explained to the dazed Francesca.
“It works better than commercial odor removers. Without it, I honestly wouldn’t have been able to go in there.”
“Oho! It really works! My armor doesn’t smell at all!”
Gentrict sniffed his own armor and spoke happily. Following his example, I brought my bracer up to my nose, only to remember it was made of iron and wouldn’t smell anyway. Still, my clothes no longer carried the sewer stench. Neither did the mask.
Damn, magic is broken. I knew rune language too—maybe I should learn magic properly.
“I’ll return the lantern and map and report to the guild. You can all head back first. Since we abandoned the request midway, the reward will only be paid after the situation is assessed.”
Tirsi spoke while packing her things with a tired face. Gentrict stepped forward.
“You’re returning them to the guards? Then leave it to me. I’ll take them.”
“No. This is the party leader’s job. You’re all tired, so please go ahead.”
“Hmm… In that case, I’ll gratefully accept your consideration.”
“Yes. I’ll be going now.”
At her calm refusal, Gentrict stepped back. Tirsi bowed to us next.
“Nord and Francesca, thank you for your hard work today. Please rest well.”
“Yes! You too, Tirsi—be careful on the way!”
“Thank you for your efforts.”
After the greetings, Tirsi turned and left. Even exhausted, her straight back left a strong impression. Francesca stood there for a while before whispering to me.
“…She might be going to buy new underwear.”
“…I don’t know if her underwear reached Gold class, but my vision is starting to go dark.”
I finally understood what it felt like to have your head go fuzzy from exhaustion. Maybe it was also because we had spent hours in that pitch-black sewer and were now under sunlight.
“Ah, here. I’ll return the mask.”
The moment we reached the surface, I handed Francesca the mask I had taken off.
“I was going to wash it first, but thanks to Tirsi there’s no smell. Or should I wash it properly and give it back next time?”
“No. You can just give it to me now.”
Francesca smiled and tucked the black mask into her bosom. Gentrict also removed his mask and greeted us.
“Well then, I’ll be off too. See you again, young ones.”
“Yes. Take care. You too, Francesca—rest well.”
“Both of you, be careful on the way!”
Having crossed the line between life and death together, any initial awkwardness had completely vanished. Gentrict left coolly, and Francesca ran off with a bright smile. I also started walking back toward the inn.
“Fuck, I’m dying.”
I was exhausted. I needed to go home and sleep right now. Even if it was someone else’s house I was paying to stay in.
***
Back at the inn, I slept like a log until the next morning. The fatigue was on par with pulling all-nighters during my graduate school days, but it wasn’t surprising. I had nearly died and come back. It was only natural for the body to want rest—just like how balls sag in summer.
After waking up, I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and returned to my room.
“Hoo, time to work out.”
My mornings began with the basic strength training Professor Brammaton had taught me. I’ll skip the details. All you needed were heavy rocks and willpower.
“Huuuuh….”
Properly straining your muscles added vitality to life. Muscle soreness? That went away if you exercised.
Shame there’s no place to run freely like a track field.
The only downside was that jogging was difficult. Sargadis had a lot of people out even at dawn. Running through the streets came with too many obstacles. I was looking for a wide open space like a park, but hadn’t found anything suitable yet. It was a pity.
—Thud thud.
After finishing today’s workout, I headed downstairs. I wasn’t wearing armor. I planned to eat breakfast and then head to the bathhouse to wash up.
“Oh. You’re up.”
When I came down, Dorka, who had been wiping a table, greeted me.
“Good morning. I slept well, so I feel refreshed.”
“Morning my ass. The sun’s been up for ages. It’s already lunchtime.”
Dorka chuckled. We had started speaking casually to each other over the past few days. It felt like Dorka had suggested dropping honorifics because they were a hassle, and his face was too scary to refuse, so I had just gone along with it.
“I wake up early, so half my day’s already done. If you were thinking of getting a free breakfast by saying good morning, give up. We’re in the paid meal hours now.”
“Damn it.”
How could they cancel free breakfast just because of a time limit? This wasn’t even a hotel. Their policy was ruthless. Clicking my tongue, I flicked a 1-copper coin from my wallet toward him.
“Spending money first thing in the morning. I’ll have to pay for the bath too if I go today.”
“Kekeke. Can’t be helped. Ah, by the way, the breakfast dishes are already all gone.”
“What? Give me my 1-copper back.”
Why was this bastard charging money when the food was already sold out?
“Soup and bread are still available. Since I took 1-copper, I’ll give you the big bread. You can take it to your room and eat it over time.”
“I don’t have any dishes in my room.”
“Then buy some.”
“Why does spending money happen every ten seconds?”
Fuck, this is exactly like renting a place. There were too many places for money to disappear. It was like pouring water into a bottomless jar. If I hadn’t saved up, I would have been screwed for real.
“It’s unusually empty today, though.”
I sat at a table and looked around the first floor. I was the only person there.
“What’s going on? Did a better inn run by a kind beauty finally open up? I should’ve gone there instead.”
“Shut your mouth before I sell off the moldy bread at a discount.”
Dorka said as he brought the soup. Steam rose from the bowl on the table. This inn boiled meat soup in the morning and sold it as stew at night. It was basically an otherworld version of a seolleongtang restaurant.
“Anyway, why are there no customers? Usually there are at least a few old guys wasting their lives drinking daytime booze.”
“Those customers are all adventurers, and they’ve gone out to work. You’re an adventurer too—didn’t you hear the news?”
“What news?”
I thought maybe some kind of gold rush had happened, and what came out of Dorka’s mouth was pretty close to that.
“Since last night, dungeons and ruins have been getting discovered one after another. Each adventurer guild found one, so three in total combined.”