The Feeling of Seeing My Own Name in a Dirty Web Novel

I stared blankly at the phone in my little sister's hand.

And in my shock, I completely forgot to pull my pants back up.

Our eyes met—hers half-lidded and hazy.

"Hey…"

"Ah, no… why are you just looking at that without asking…"

The one saving grace was that the photo was already completely mosaiced.

So it would be impossible to identify anyone from just a vague shape.

Even if it was the person herself, I told myself it was the same.

"G-give it here!"

I snatched the phone from my little sister's trembling hand, her whole body shaking with ragged breaths.

I quickly fixed the blanket that had been covering me.

And then I was the one raising my voice.

"You didn't even knock! Who said you could just barge in, huh!?"

"…Why are you yelling like a crazy person…"

Her voice was shaking.

And the panic was written all over her face.

"Ugh, whatever. Get out. Get out already."

I waved my hand like usual, trying to act casual.

But my little sister stood there frozen like a statue, not moving an inch.

"I said get out of my room."

"…What were you doing with that photo?"

A chill ran down my spine.

It felt like ice was crawling through my veins.

"W-what do you mean!"

"You… what were you doing with that photo…"

My little sister muttered in a tiny voice, her trembling fingertip pointing straight at my crotch.

"You… fuck… you were jerking off to it again, weren't you…?"

It was obvious she was flustered too, but just like me, she was desperately trying to act normal.

Maybe she was thinking about how awkward things would get between us. I figured this was her own way of being considerate.

"What are you even saying? And so what if I was jerking off? You barged in without knocking, so don't give me that crap."

My head was spinning.

Either way, I'd just been caught red-handed jerking off to my little sister's photo.

And I'd basically half-admitted it out loud.

"Fuck… guys do this all the time… Don't tell me you don't masturbate?"

"……."

This was the first time we'd ever been this explicit with each other.

Actually, it was more accurate to say there was nothing between us that could get awkward over dirty talk.

But right now, things were clearly different.

The fact that I was jerking off to my little sister was something that had never happened before—and something that should never happen. Even just yesterday, the whole thing had felt like absolute shit.

Yet now, I couldn't hide how incredibly awkward I felt.

I was so flustered that my voice kept shaking on its own.

"You really… you really jerked off to that…?"

"Ugh, so what? What do you want me to do about it?"

It was the truth, so when my little sister pointed it out, I had no choice but to lie.

"Haaah… ah, ugh…"

"Please just get out, okay? What are you still doing in my room…"

She clutched her head like she still wasn't fully sober.

Then she let out a small groan, as if suffering from a hangover.

"…I'll… haa… talk to you later."

"……."

To me, those words were completely meaningless.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

I kept my mouth shut and waited quietly until my little sister left the room.

Creak— thud!

"Whew…"

I was scared out of my mind. I thought I was going to lose it. The embarrassment was enough to kill me.

"Haa, fuck, seriously… ugh…"

My head was pounding.

I pressed on my temples for a moment, trying to ease the pressure.

Then a sticky discomfort rose from my lower body.

"Ah, shit…"

I didn't even know when I'd cum, but my semen had leaked out and made everything a slick mess.

Not only that, the blanket was filthy with the load I'd shot all over it.

"What the hell is this, fuck…"

Here I was, a grown-ass man, wiping cum off my own blanket. My life felt truly pathetic.

Well, more than that, the bigger problem was getting caught by my little sister while jerking off to her photo.

Still, at least she would never know the full truth, so I guess that was a small mercy.

The brief commotion had left me mentally exhausted.

"Haaah…"

My body felt like jelly. Sleep came crashing over me.

After cleaning everything up, I flipped the slightly gross blanket over and pulled it on top of me.

My eyelids grew heavier and heavier.

The pillow felt especially soft today.

I fell asleep almost instantly.

*

"……."

My head was spinning.

And the scent I'd caught in my brother's room earlier still filled my nose.

"Huu…"

I couldn't tell if I was still tipsy from the alcohol or if it was because of that scent.

"Shit, shit…"

It was a smell I'd caught a few times before.

I'd always thought the smell that lingered only in my brother's room was what people called "lonely bachelor stench."

That made sense, because whenever that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠smell was strong, the trash can was always full—and the stench inside it was especially nasty…

But that wasn't the important part right now.

The photo I'd seen on my brother's phone—the one he'd been jerking off to—was the same photo of me that had arrived in my email earlier. That was the problem.

"Ah, ugh…"

At first, I'd gone there to confront him about the photo that had shown up in my inbox.

But when I saw him like that, the words wouldn't come out. It was like my mouth had been glued shut.

Everything I managed to say came out trembling.

We barely exchanged a few words before I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠fled the room like I was running for my life.

"No, seriously… is he out of his fucking mind…"

486 Ways to Eat My Little Sister? I could understand that much.

It was fiction. A novel. Erotic fiction. No matter how extreme the subject, I could accept it as creative work.

But jerking off to a photo of me? How the hell was I supposed to process that?

……Even if we weren't blood-related, we'd been living together, sharing the same space, for over twenty years.

We were closer than most real siblings. Practically inseparable.

And legally, we were registered as brother and sister. So this was wrong on so many levels.

"Ah, what am I supposed to do…"

There were so many things I wanted to call him out on.

But now there were too many, and that was the problem.

I couldn't just stay quiet like this.

But it also felt wrong to be the one to bring it up first.

"Ugh, I don't know. I don't know, fuck…"

Anyway, I'd already decided to take today off.

If I was resting, I should throw all these complicated thoughts far away.

"…I can't even sleep now."

The alcohol had worn off completely.

Yet the scent still lingered at the tip of my nose.

My heart was in complete turmoil.

And my head was still spinning so badly I felt dizzy.

It kept circling in my mind.

486 Ways to Eat My Little Sister….

I remembered skimming through it briefly before drawing the illustrations.

I'd checked the characters' personalities and general tendencies.

"Huu, haaa… huu…"

Back then it had just been work, so reading it hadn't bothered me at all.

Incest-themed erotica? In a genre full of far worse stuff, incest didn't faze me.

…But that had changed a little.

The content itself hadn't changed at all, yet the person reading it had.

The thought that the person who wrote this was my brother—who had just been jerking off to a photo of me in his room—kept making my head go blank.

"…Dark brown eyes, black hair…"

Unless it was dyed or contacts, that was just average for Korea.

But the fact that the little sister heroine didn't have the usual dyed hair felt oddly suspicious.

"Those… breasts… 65G…? F-fuck, this crazy bastard…"

Details I'd glossed over before were now jumping out at me.

If it matched my exact bra size, could I really call that a coincidence?

"Likes sweet things… well, what girl doesn't like sweets…"

It would probably be harder to find one who didn't.

"Hot… chocolate… likes it… really likes it…"

In the middle of winter, I drank it like it was water.

And it looked like the little sister in this novel did too.

"This is bullshit, fuck…"

I kept reading as if in a trance.

The protagonist had practically raped his little sister, devouring her.

And the little sister was rubbing her body against him like she loved it, completely losing her mind.

"'…My little sister's pussy hole squeezed my cock tight…' No, what the fuck… they're not even using protection… no sense of responsibility at all…"

The protagonist's inner monologue was so ridiculous I couldn't even speak.

"F-fuck… what the hell am I supposed to do about this…"

My head felt hot.

I thought the alcohol had worn off, but apparently not.

That heat spread from my head down through my whole body.

My skin burned like I had a fever.

"Ah, I'm not reading this. Why the hell am I even looking at this…"

It had started with just a little curiosity.

But instead of satisfying it, my heart only grew more unsettled.

"Ah… seriously… I'm going crazy…"

I smacked the bed in frustration.

The loud thump-thump echoed through the room.

Dust flew up in a cloud.

I grabbed the phone I'd thrown aside earlier.

This was just for reference.

I'd already drawn several illustrations for it. It wouldn't make sense if I didn't even know the story properly.

"Do they have sex all day? No, it's literally nothing but sex…"

No matter how many chapters I flipped through, it was all sex.

The little sister and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the protagonist were soaked in cum and love juices.

Then, for the first time, the protagonist quietly called his little sister's name.

"…Eun-yeong…?"

My mouth fell open and refused to close.

No, fuck… the feeling of seeing my own name in a dirty web novel was impossible to describe in words.