My World Collapsed the Day I Was Born
My world collapsed the moment I was born. In that shattered world, the only thing I could lean on was my father. So the fact that I didn’t have a mother wasn’t all that strange. After all, I had almost no memories of ever having one… or rather, none at all. That’s why my sadness wasn’t that deep. At least, that’s what I told myself.
But that, too, was just another delusion. Eventually I began to feel the absence of a mother. Everyone else had one. That made my lack of a mother feel like the strange thing. The first time I met that woman was at kindergarten. Back then she wasn’t my “mom” or anything. She was simply the mother of Park Eun-yeong, who lived in the same apartment complex.
Somehow, from some point on, the time I spent with Park Eun-yeong grew longer and longer. We were already close, and I wanted to get even closer, so I didn’t mind at all. She started coming over to our place more often. She’d hang out longer and longer each time. Then one day my dad told me to start calling her “Mom.”
And just like that… my world collapsed again.
“Hey, why do you keep spacing out?”
“…Ah, no reason. You done eating?”
“Yeah.”
“Then let’s go.”
They’d called it a famous spot, but the beef-and-rice soup was just decent. Nothing special.
“……Hey, you okay?”
“Ah… well, it’s not like I’m not okay.”
I finished paying at the counter and headed straight outside.
“…Want me to call a taxi?”
It was about time to head home. I needed to catch up on sleep, and I still had tomorrow’s chapter to write.
“Hey, you’re really just gonna go home after this?”
“…Then what?”
The clearly dissatisfied look on my little sister’s face turned toward me.
“We finally came out after so long. It feels like a waste to just head straight back.”
My little sister suddenly snatched my wrist. Then she took big, purposeful strides, dragging me along behind her. I had no choice but to follow.
“Where are we going?”
“We ate, so now we should watch a movie, obviously.”
She said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like it had been decided from the start.
“…All of a sudden?”
“It’s not all of a sudden. This is all part of the course, you know? Have you never been on a date before?”
“Ahhh…”
I roughly understood what she meant. And honestly, it wasn’t a bad idea for me either. I’d probably just fall asleep halfway through the movie, but that was an experience in itself… so it seemed fine.
“I don’t think there’s a theater nearby. We should at least call a taxi—”
“Hey, wait. It’s right around here.”
My little sister cut me off mid-sentence and yanked my wrist again. The look in her eyes clearly said shut up and follow me, so I kept my mouth closed and trailed after her.
We ended up walking back the way we came. I stayed quiet, watching her excited back. A strange feeling settled over me.
“Where the hell are we—ah…”
The place we’d arrived at was the motel district. Motels lined the streets in every direction, their neon signs blazing even in broad daylight. And right in the middle of all that flashiness stood one slightly run-down building that looked completely out of place. What’s more, I’d only ever heard about DVD rooms like this. I’d never actually seen one in person.
“…You want to go there? Right now?”
“Why? You don’t want to?”
“No, it’s not that I don’t want to… I just… you want to watch a movie there?”
“Yeah. I’ve only ever heard about it. I saw it when we walked by earlier and got curious.”
Was it really just innocent curiosity? Did she seriously not know what this kind of place meant for a guy and a girl?
“Whoa… the outside looks like it’s about to collapse, but the inside is actually decent.”
The exterior looked like it could fall apart any second, but the interior was surprisingly clean.
“…You’re really going in?”
“Ugh, what are you talking about? I said I wanted to watch a movie earlier. Hurry up.”
Thinking I was hesitating, she wrapped her arm around mine and pulled me inside. Her soft breast pressing against me made my heart pound for no reason.
“…Hey, you talk to them. Um… what should we watch?”
My little sister kept glancing around with obvious excitement. Before I knew it, I was the one paying at the counter.
“…Hey, but… they only have really old stuff. This sucks. We should’ve just gone to a real theater.”
After I’d already paid, my little sister started complaining. In her hand was a pretty popular comedy film.
“…Want to leave?”
“Nooo… I was just saying. We already paid, how can we leave now…”
This DVD room wasn’t all that different from a motel. The hallway was a bit narrow, and the doors were packed tightly together, hinting that the rooms inside were small too.
“Oh…”
The room was maybe half the size of the motel room we’d stayed in before. It even had its own bathroom… well, more like a shower stall. And dominating almost the entire space was a bed. The bedding had a slightly tacky pattern. There was a stale smell in the air, mixed with the scent of cheap fabric deodorizer.
“…Still, it’s probably more comfortable than a theater.”
“…Yeah.”
We didn’t act embarrassed. Or rather, we tried not to. Still, unlike yesterday, we didn’t have to force anything. We were already quite used to this. Naturally, we took off our outer layers and hung them on the rack.
“I’m getting on the bed first.”
I stared blankly as my little sister hopped onto the bed with a bounce. The cheap mattress jiggled wildly. So did her breasts.
“Should I just start it?”
“…Well, it’s not like there’s anything else to do.”
Her voice had a subtle undertone. And from that tone, I realized she knew exactly what the real purpose of a place like this was.
“Hmm…”
I turned on the movie and sat at the edge of the bed. The springs sank with a loud creak.
“…I’m going to the bathroom.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Was it nerves? Suddenly I really needed to pee. I left her there and went to the bathroom.
“Haa…”
My body trembled as the urine poured out. In my head, my little sister’s words kept floating around. What the hell was going on? When was the last time I’d seen her face? I only ever felt sorry toward her. That’s why I’d deliberately avoided her for quite a long time. The only connection between us was my little sister. And it was probably Mom who had attached her to me in the first place. That’s why hearing things secondhand through her had become normal. The occasional greetings and updates she passed along were enough. Facing Mom directly again just felt awkward and uncomfortable. Neither of us had tried to force it. We’d both grown far too used to this kind of life.
“Huu…”
I flushed the toilet and washed my hands. The cold water helped clear my head a little.
“Hurry up. It’s already started.”
“Ah, yeah.”
My little sister’s impatient voice called from inside the room. Strangely, I didn’t mind her nagging.
“Oppa, have you seen this?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh… I’ve seen it too. Hey, wasn’t that girl pretty just now?”
“…Not really my type.”
“…For real? Your standards are ridiculously high.”
It was a series that had been hugely popular at one point. She added that the new installment had just come out, so this was like a refresher. Since we’d both seen it before, our conversation quickly turned from simple impressions into casual chatter. Mostly she asked questions, and I answered with whatever I remembered.
“Ah, that’s right!”
Suddenly my little sister clapped her hands loudly, sounding surprised. Then she poked my side repeatedly.
“…What?”
“Come on, you know. That thing we talked about earlier.”
“…What thing?”
I’d been hoping to catch a little nap if the chance came up, but it looked like that wasn’t happening.
“Hey, you said it yourself. You don’t even remember?”
“…Me?”
“Yeah. This is so ridiculous.”
She spoke in a genuinely dumbfounded tone, pouting so hard her lips stuck out like a duck’s.
“Uh… hold on.”
It felt like I was taking a test. My brain spun desperately, but I couldn’t recall anything.
“Haa… you’re the one who brought it up and now you don’t remember?”
She gave me a look of pure pity, shaking her head in disbelief. Then she scooted right up next to me.
“……Hey.”
“…What?”
Her voice was unusually sticky and sweet. Was it just my imagination, or did it sound a little seductive? I was busy thinking about how powerful the atmosphere of a place like this could be when—
“…You said earlier.”
“…Yeah?”
“That you’d touch my breasts.”
“Ah…”
“…Don’t tell me you actually forgot? For real? You’re actually insane.”
At her sulky complaint, the conversation we’d had at the soup restaurant came rushing back.
“Ah, no… I mean, yeah, I did say that…”
I stammered like an idiot. The more I did, the more the corners of her mouth curled upward.
“Touch them.”
“…What?”
“I said touch my breasts.”
“…Why?”
“Ugh, you’re the one who said you would! You asked me to let you touch them. So touch them already.”
I had no idea what her real intentions were, but she pushed her chest forward anyway.
“…You really want me to?”
“What, you want to pretend-touch them instead?”
Whatever her scheme was, it didn’t really matter.
“…I’m really going to touch them?”
“Yeah.”
“…Gulp.”
“Wow, did you just swallow? You perverted bastard.”
She grumbled and found fault with me, but she kept her chest thrust out the whole time.
“Ugh, are you going to keep hesitating?”
Her hand shot out, grabbed my wrist, and pulled it straight to her breast.
“…You promised. So hurry up and touch.”
“Ah…”
Even with her top still on, it barely got in the way of feeling how soft her breasts were. Especially the way her small, perky nipples brushed teasingly against my palm.
“Hng, mmm…”
I kneaded them gently. A tiny crack appeared in her previously composed expression.
“Haa, hng, mmmh…”
That crack grew wider and wider. The eyes that had been looking at me dropped to the floor. Swish. Swish. The position felt a little uncomfortable, so I shifted until I could touch her breasts more easily.
“Heyy… why are you moving behind me…”
I settled in behind her, wrapping my arms around her like I was hugging her from the back. Then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, I rested my chin on her shoulder.
“……Is this why you wanted to come here?”
“Th-that’s not it at all?!”
“…If that’s not it, then what is?”
“Ugh, what are you even saying!”
She whipped her head to the side in embarrassment. She smelled like the same shampoo and body wash I used. The scent made the strange heat inside me grow even stronger.
“…Can I touch them inside your clothes?”
“…….”
I whispered the words right next to her ear. She shivered like she’d gotten goosebumps. After a brief moment of hesitation, she gave a very slow, tiny nod.