The Weight of a Motel Room
My daily routine is far simpler than it sounds. I write. When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm tired, I sleep. I rarely stray from that cycle. Most of what I need gets delivered straight to my door, and I avoid going outside whenever possible. It's not that I deliberately shun the world. It's purely a matter of efficiency. I simply don't go out unless I absolutely have to. There just aren't many reasons to leave the house, so I end up spending most of my time indoors. The only personal outings I make are the occasional appointments that happen to come up. Even those have grown rarer. I really was busy, which meant my relationships with friends slowly faded. They stopped reaching out as often, and naturally, we drifted apart. Still, I made an effort to show up when I could.
"...So basically, you don't have many friends."
"Hey. I told you, it's not that I don't have any. I'm just too busy to meet up."
"Right. So busy that you don't have friends."
"Ugh..."
My half-hearted social connections had been neatly trimmed away. The friends I still met face-to-face could be counted on one hand.
"Let's just get going already."
"...Yeah."
And so came the long-awaited date. Countless tangled interests were involved, but the fact that we were going on a date remained unchanged.
"Should we take a taxi?"
"What, you want to walk instead?"
"No... of course we'll take a taxi."
I'd thrown the question out there out of embarrassment, but her reply came back sharper than expected.
"...But isn't that luggage way too much? They've got pretty much everything there anyway."
A one-night, two-day motel date. Even so, my little sister's bags looked excessively packed.
"...How am I supposed to use stuff that's been used by strangers? It's gross."
When she put it that way, I couldn't really argue. Still, it was a ridiculous amount of luggage.
"What the hell did you pack to end up with this much?"
"Just... clothes to change into, underwear... towels, skincare stuff, a hair dryer—"
"Wait, hold on. You brought all of that?"
"Yeah... why?"
"...What exactly counts as 'skincare stuff'..."
Frustrated beyond words, I crouched down to inspect the mountain of bags at her feet.
"Hey, what are you doing!"
"Shampoo, conditioner, treatment, cleansing foam, oil... Wow, what is all this?"
There were countless other products I didn't even recognize. Neatly folded towels and even a bathrobe were included.
"And what's in this pouch?"
"...That's my makeup."
"Then this one?"
"Underwear..."
"And this?"
"Th-that's my pads!"
Among all the pouches, she snatched away the smallest, cutest one. So that's what was inside. Her face flushed a delicate shade of pink.
"...Why did you bring this? Aren't you still a ways off?"
"H-how would you even know that?!"
"I mean... I can kind of tell. Didn't you just have it last week?"
"J-just in case... so I brought some..."
She'd seemed excited earlier, and maybe she'd been secretly looking forward to this, but either way, she'd overpacked. It looked like she was preparing for a full-blown picnic.
"...They have all this stuff there. Did you really need to go this far?"
"How am I supposed to use things other people have used!"
"...Are you stupid? They give out disposable stuff these days. Who packs like they're emigrating? Are you moving to another country or something?"
"...Oh. Really?"
And then there was the hair dryer, a straightener, face masks, some over-the-counter medicine, alcohol swabs, gauze, and even bandages.
"...Why didn't you just bring a whole first-aid kit while you were at it?"
"Th-that would've been too big..."
"Ugh..."
I started unpacking the absurd pile of luggage.
"Hey, stop! What if we need it!"
"They sell all this at the convenience store. For one measly night and two days? Seriously..."
I shook my head with an exhausted expression.
"You're really something else..."
Watching her belongings fly out of my hands one by one, her face grew increasingly gloomy.
"Is this the underwear?"
"...Yeah. Give it back!"
She snatched the pouch from my hand again.
"So underwear and a change of clothes... but do you really need to change?"
"I do. I'm changing."
"Ah, okay."
I tossed out everything that didn't seem absolutely necessary.
"But I wanted to use my own stuff..."
She stared longingly at her shampoo and conditioner with a pitiful expression.
"What if it runs out?"
"We can just buy more."
"...Hey, how do you know all this anyway?"
"Know what?"
"About the disposable stuff at motels... How would you know that? Have you been to one before?!"
"Yeah. I have. Anyway, if you really want to bring your own, don't you have those travel bottles?"
"Oh... I do..."
"Then pour some into those. Who brings giant bottles like this? It's ridiculous."
"...Okay."
Still clutching the underwear and pad pouches to her chest, she headed to her room. She returned with a few travel bottles and stubbornly transferred her products into them.
"Done now?"
"...Yeah. Hey, but can I at least bring my own towel and robe? It feels gross otherwise..."
"If you're going to be that picky, how are you supposed to sleep on the bed? They wash and sanitize the sheets, towels, and robes, you know?"
"...Then I'll just bring a towel. Towels still feel a bit..."
I didn't want to be too harsh, so I simply nodded. She seemed thrilled by that and eagerly stuffed the towel into her bag.
"You look pretty excited."
"...Bullshit. I'm not excited at all."
She'd been grinning from ear to ear just moments ago, but now she was forcing a serious expression.
*
"C-can you go in first? Then text me the room number and I'll come up after."
"...Is that really necessary?"
"S-still, how can we walk in together... What if we run into someone we know..."
"We came all the way out here on purpose... How would we run into anyone?"
I'd put serious thought into choosing the motel. It was tucked away in a quiet corner with decent facilities. This place seemed like the kind of spot where older people committing adultery or couples driving in from far away would go. The taxi driver had even given us a strange look and asked why we were heading to such a distant motel.
"Plus, it's an unmanned motel. No one to worry about. Let's go."
"Ah, wait! Hey!"
I grabbed the wrist of my fidgeting little sister. I'd held that wrist only a handful of times in my entire life, yet lately it felt like I was doing it more and more often.
"Ugh..."
She pulled her cap down lower and pressed close to my side. Naturally, she linked her arm with mine, and I immediately felt the soft pressure of her breasts against my arm. I tried to ignore the strange flutter in my chest and spoke up casually.
"...Weren't you the one who suggested this?"
"N-not me... It was Park Eun-yeong!"
"Right. Park Eun-yeong."
"No, I mean..."
"I got it, I got it. Just hurry up."
Every time I took a big step, she hurried to keep up beside me.
"Ah, wait. I think that's it."
"......You must come here a lot. You look way too familiar with this."
She kept glancing around nervously. She watched me closely and muttered under her breath.
"What? Is it that surprising?"
"...You didn't even have a girlfriend."
"Why do you assume I didn't?"
"......"
I might not know much else, but when it came to motels, I was an expert. I'd visited several for research purposes while writing motel scenes. There was no need to mention that out loud, though.
"Should we go for the biggest room?"
"...Do whatever you want."
I'd thought she'd be a little excited about the motel date, but her reaction was strangely lukewarm.
"You pick. Between this one, this one, and this one."
"Just pick anything! You said you know this stuff! So pick for us!"
She practically shouted. I wondered if it was because of me, but it seemed more like she was just embarrassed.
"Then we'll go with this one. Looks the cleanest."
I finished the payment, and the card key dropped down with a clack. I grabbed it and pulled her toward the elevator.
Ding— The doors opened immediately. She let go of my arm and quickly shuffled into the corner of the elevator.
"......"
"......"
The moment we stepped inside, silence filled the space. I wanted to say something to ease the awkwardness, but nothing came to mind.
Ding—
"L-let's go."
"......Yeah."
As soon as the doors opened, she bolted out. In the wrong direction. I grabbed her wrist again.
"Ah, not that way... this way..."
"Ah... right."
I turned her body around and released her wrist.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
It was just the two of us in a private space. There shouldn't have been anything new about that. We'd lived together for years. I'd seen her underwear countless times, along with her half-naked body more times than I could count.
"H-hurry..."
"Y-yeah."
It was just me and my little sister. We weren't supposed to feel awkward at all. Even after everything that had happened between us, we'd managed to get along just fine despite the slight tension. But the pressure a motel room exerted was no joke. My mouth had gone completely dry since earlier, and my heart was pounding like it might explode.
We eventually reached the door. I held out the card key and unlocked it.
Beep— Clunk—
"...Let's go in."
"Y-you go first, Oppa."
"...Okay."
I opened the door. That unmistakable scent greeted us both in a way that was hard to describe.
"S-so... what now?"
The room was still dark, lights off. The two of us stood there awkwardly, unsure what to do next.