Chapter 9
This fucking cult-infested world really is the end times. She likes me? Wants my number? First time getting hit on like this. Hell, a scruffy bandit-looking fucker like me catching someone's eye? She's gotta be nuts. Time to bolt.
"Oppa~ Come on, how can you say no? I really like you!"
"Uh. Move."
"Please! I've been watching your broadcast from afar!"
She's been waiting since then till now?! Confirmed: not right in the head. Creepy enough following me an hour for a stream, but sticking around while I ate? That's stalker shit, not just crazy bitch. Gotta call the cops.
I hauled ass for dear life. Faked right, cut left—she read it and blocked me anyway. Played ball back in the day? With that height, she'd struggle with volleyball, let alone basketball.
She's nimble as hell, blocking my escape while shoving her phone at me. Fuck, what a pain. And I don't even have a phone.
"Don't have a phone."
"Aww~ Don't lie, I'm not a weirdo, please just give it!"
"Not lying, really no phone. Beggar life's got me without even a bank account."
"Aigoo~ You joke so funnily! Hahaha!"
This fucking bitch? My harsh reality's a comedy to her? I smack women who deserve it, but can't here—no settlement money. Only option: run.
"Please, just your number!"
"No."
"Name then."
"Shincheonji Trouble."
"Or you got a girlfriend? Don't care if I'm first or tenth."
"Cult Trouble."
I'd voiced max rejection and turned to go. But she's blocking like "giving up's for chopping cabbage." Not just cabbage, apparently.
Annoyance turning to desperation on how to shake her.
"Hey, I said no."
"Huh?"
"Pardon?"
Jung-ah, who'd watched it all, stepped up and snapped at her.
"Oppa said no, why keep clinging? Scram."
"Ha! What, girlfriend?"
"Not girlfriend... but he said no."
Jung-ah was fighting my battle for me.
"Aish... unnie? Not even his girl, why butt in."
"Still, he said no. This ain't right."
Cold air between them—fight could erupt any second. Dodging one mess into a bigger one...
"Haa... fine, no phone so can't give number, but here's my name."
"Really! Wow! Thanks!"
She handed over a little notepad, beaming. I scrawled a huge fake name. Didn't say it'd be mine.
Shin Chang-seop
"Thanks! Name's... Shin. Chang-seop? Got it! Chang-seop oppa! See you next time!"
"Huh?"
"Shh."
Jung-ah shot me a shocked look hearing the name; I shushed her. Shin Chang-seop goat'll normalize this shit, I figured, and let it slide.
**
We headed straight back to the goshiwon after. First outdoor stream ever, plus full belly—dead tired. Warm bed calling.
"Uh. Look over there... it's really him."
"Yeah?"
At the goshiwon entrance, people—mostly women—stared. Thought I imagined it at first, but stares too blatant. Aiming right at me.
Wondered if something happened here, crept closer.
"...What the fuck is this?"
A massive banner hung where none was before, proclaiming right in front:
Fuck, obvious it's me. Discount for promo like this, huh? blatant as hell. Bolt inside, lock door?
"Um... really a guy?"
"Pardon?"
"Whoa, that deep voice is insane... real man!"
A woman blocked me, asking if guy. Stunned words confirmed it—she shrieked it to the crowd.
"Real dude, look at those forearms..."
"Shoulders huge... celeb?"
"Trendy guy idols all pretty boys—this rugged charm kills."
"Beard screams wild man."
Overwhelmed by their appraisals. Door ironclad with crowd. Force through?
Packed tight... not weak, but couldn't budge the mass.
What now?
"Seong-hoon oppa... better detour somewhere else than push through?"
"Yeah, probably."
Jung-ah judged it hopeless, grabbed my hand, pulled me free from the swarm.
"What? His girlfriend?"
"Obviously has one, so clingy."
"I'd be his first date ever? Second fine by me."
Ignored the unhinged chatter behind. Escape priority.
**
Half-fleeing, we hit a nearby cafe.
"Wear my hat and mask, at least hides your face."
"Yeah, thanks."
Jung-ah handed them over, worried. Felt safer covered, but future? No clue. Sat, zoned out a minute.
Tired, plus my anxiety: cafes? Haven't been since adulting... never, really. While others yell Americano, I slurped mystery mix coffee from sites, wondering if spit-mixed.
And this rags in a fancy spot? Out of place.
"Ah. Oppa, can't sit like this—I'll grab coffee! Wait here!"
"Uh. Okay."
She left; I stared into space. Exhausting day...
Leaned back, eyed ceiling.
"Oh my?"
"Fuck."
Unfamiliar ceiling. Woman's face.
"Mind if I get your number? Really like you."
"Only number I got is my bank account."
"Haha, jokes on point!"
"Shit..."
Won't even let me rest. Face seen—gotta bounce. Stood to flee.
"Um... number or name, please?"
Blocking again? Typhoon country here? Chanting "number" over "no."
Better split before hassle peaks.
"What're you?"
"Jung-ah?"
"Oppa's saying no, why block?"
"What? Oppa? Siblings? Girlfriend then?"
"Fuck off."
Jung-ah gripped my arm, shoved her back to sit. Aggressive tone worked—unlike first girl, this one backed off.
"You okay?"
"Fine, ignore 'em."
Jung-ah downplayed, sat with coffees.
"Oppa, chocolate latte—guys like sweet, right?"
"Huh?"
Stared at her pick. This world's men diabetic-bound? Pasta sweet tooth too.
Me? Not hating sweets, but not craving. Prefer her Americano.
"Huh? What's up, something wrong?"
"Nah... thanks for buying, I'll drink."
"Ah... yeah, thanks!"
"You bought it—why thank you..."
Gotta chug this chocolate blob. Beggar rule: free grub, shut up and eat.
Sipped slow through straw. Sluuurp—
Sweetness exploded. Chocolate fans fine; my bitter-life tongue? Overkill.
"Urghhh..."
"Ah, Seong-hoon oppa? You okay?"
Face scrunched despite control.
"Guess... I hate sweet."
"Oh. Really?"
Couldn't finish, pushed it back.
"Then... hold on, new coffee..."
"No need wasting cash."
"Huh? Then how..."
I eyed her Americano mid-sip.
"...I lipped it."
Downed it through straw to kill sweetness. Bitter wave neutralized—alive again.
"...Oppa, you're way too good at charming girls."
"What?"
The hell's this nonsense now?