Oji-kom (2) 'Fuck, is this right?'
When I first grabbed a guy to do a broadcast together, I was seriously worried if this was really okay. On my way here, I'd seen a post on the behind-the-scenes internet gallery about how someone introducing their "little brother" turned out to be a girl. But this person is a man... I could tell right in front of my eyes that he was male.
Due to the nature of internet broadcasting, there weren't many ways to prove it if someone asked if he was really a guy. Before starting the broadcast, I asked if he had his ID.
"I lost my ID, though?"
"Pardon?"
"It disappeared along with my wallet."
A man... I was flustered by Seong-hoon's words. An ID card... that's the most definitive proof that he's male, and he lost it. I thought there was no way to verify, but...
'It'll be fine, right?'
His build alone isn't feminine. Up close, you can see the veins on his hands, and his voice is masculine. No reason for anyone to suspect he's a woman, so it should be okay.
But about 30 minutes into the broadcast, comments started popping up saying he might be a girl. Even with this physique, people online jumped to assumptions right away. Despite my denials, the tide kept turning toward "He's not a guy."
I was at a loss for how to clear it up—no ID to prove it. What the hell do I do? That's when...
"Want me to handle it?"
"Huh?"
Seong-hoon said he had a surefire way to prove it and slowly stepped in front of the smartphone. Then... he started unbuckling his belt.
"Oh my god, what are you doing?!"
"Folks, I'm gonna take my pants off for the next five minutes. Should I drop 'em, or will you believe me now?"
He straight-up said he'd prove it by stripping. A guy doing that? I was shocked, but what balls... Broadcasting could get shut down on the spot, and with all these starving women around a man, they might actually swarm him. I started scanning the surroundings warily.
Luckily, his stunt convinced everyone he was a guy. Seemed like we'd wrap up without major drama.
An hour into the broadcast...
"Cut that asshole."
I ignored the bullshit donations and kept going. Weird. My broadcasts never did this well. Normally, an hour gets like 10 viewers max, but now we're over 300. Donations are in a whole other league—first 50k, then 100k units, not the usual 10k scraps.
Just having a guy standing there—not even hosting—does this? I was thrilled, cruising along, when...
These flirty chats targeting Seong-hoon—I was banning them one by one, getting exhausted. No wonder big streamers have managers.
"Call a worn-out old fuck like me 'ajusshi' instead of oppa."
"Huh?"
First time hearing that from a young guy. It was straight out of internet broadcasts or dramas—that classic Oji-kom line. I froze, not knowing how to respond, but the chat exploded even harder.
A guy saying that hits different. Seong-hoon didn't look that old. Up close, the beard aged him, but shave it off and he'd pass for early 20s. Still, that mature vibe plus calling himself "ajusshi" was unbearable.
Flustered, I tried calming viewers and resuming, but...
Another flirty donation. I tried intervening, but Seong-hoon stood up first.
"Kid, this won't last. Go find girls your age—plenty better than a bum like me out there."
Holy shit, what did I just hear? Peak middle-aged charm. Oji-kom dialogue straight from novels or comics, now live from a real man. I nearly lost it myself, but...
The million-won donation chime snapped me back. Am... am I doing this right?
**
"What the fuck is this?"
A massive chime hit. I knew donations were rolling in, but a million won? Just for broadcasting? Too stunned to speak at first.
"Uh, that's it for today's stream! We went pretty long!"
"Argh, seriously! Our guy here, Seong-hoon, says he's super tired, so we gotta end early!"
"Me?"
I played along, saying I was tired, and she killed the stream.
Staring at the flaming chat, Jung-ah fiddled with her phone and ended it.
"...Did it go okay?"
I asked if I'd fucked up somehow, if the stream worked out. What if the pants thing caused issues? Better bail before trouble.
"It was great! Seong-hoon! Never had a broadcast this good!"
"Huh?"
She grinned, approaching, gushing about the success. Good if it worked, but...
"Hey, can you give me the cash now?"
"Oh, yeah, one sec!"
She grabbed her phone.
"Gimme your account number, I'll send it right away."
"Got cash?"
"Huh? Why?"
"Do I look like I got a bank account?"
Even beggars have accounts, sure, but... mine got seized in the debt pileup. Switched to cash only after.
"...I don't have cash on me. If it's not urgent, I'll withdraw the donations and send it right over!"
Couldn't get it now—pissed me off, but what can ya do? At least same goshiwon, can't ghost.
"Instead! I'll buy you food! Hang on!"
"Fine, since you're feeding me."
No cash, but meal's a meal. Not like I needed money right now. Goshiwon for 50k, food next—free meal? No-brainer.
"I know a great spot, let's go there."
"Uh, yeah, sure!"
I suggested my go-to cheap eatery from homeless days—money permitting. World flipped, but spots like that stick around. Fingers crossed.
**
We hit the gukbap joint near the station. Ate here sometimes roughing it—still there, thank god. Inside, no usual auntie; some mild-smiling uncle served. Men scarce, huh? Staff changed too? Hope the taste holds. Price same anyway: sundae gukbap heaven at 6k a bowl in a 10k world.
"Uh... really okay eating here?"
"Problem?"
Fuck... haven't eaten with a girl, picked my fave spot. From her side, maybe she had fancy plans? But I helped, so my call, right?
She looked uneasy. Asked what's up.
"N-never been to a place like this with a guy."
"Why?"
"Cuz... when girls treat guys, they usually want fancy restaurants."
"Yeah? I like this."
Fancy? Look at me—booted from the door in this getup. No way I'd splurge like that.
Sat down, ready to order what I want.
"I'm getting the pricey stuff."
"Y-yeah! You helped! I'll buy anything!"
Grinned and ordered.
"Boss, two specials!"
"Uh, Seong-hoon?"
"Yeah? What?"
Special too much? I usually get regular, but special adds sundae and ham. Beggar me only splurged on big beg days or found bills.
"Check... the stares around us."
"Why?"
Her shaky voice begged a look. I glanced around.
All women in this macho grub spot? Nah, not the point. They're all staring at me.
Did... did I fuck up?