The Creepy Farm God and the Harem Dollhouse
Park Jisu's an idiot. 'Sigh... poor bastards.' Thanks to my mental defense skills, I could objectively judge my situation even in this fucked-up world, letting out a sigh of relief. Whatever bullshit they were spouting, it was probably some poetic prophecy droned out like a divine revelation amid majestic scenery. Since this was my first time in a game like this, I vowed to bone up on the world's lore before diving in next time. Focusing on my heightened senses, I started scanning the surroundings.
"Huh... over there?"
Sensing a lifeform with my intuition, I headed that way, and that's when the protagonist finally came into view—staring blankly at the rice fields. The name floating over his head and the small statue tucked under his arm clearly marked him as the guy I was after.
'This fucker... no wonder he kept that statue right by the flowerpot...'
As I approached him, a growing nausea buzzed in my head like static noise. Grimacing irritably, I clicked my tongue. No way—a divine will born from this game's settings, tailored to my abilities, was giving me shit? That creepy-ass thing lurking in this cute little farm sim made me swear off worlds locked into a single genre like farming or theme park tycoons. Before I knew it, I'd reached the zoned-out protagonist, snatched the statue from his grip.
Thud.
His head snapped toward me the instant the statue—devoid of any pulse—was yanked away. Fury started building in his eyes. Gut feeling told me sticking around would lead to some annoying bullshit, so I immediately deactivated my ability.
+++
Since I'd only logged in to steal the artifact needed to trigger the ability, a logout message popped up along with a pathetic dribble of points. Breathing heavily, I gasped as I recalled the absurd scene from the world I'd just escaped.
"Hoo, hoo... fuck, I shouldn't go into games that early in the timeline anymore."
All the worlds I'd hit before were the tutorial-phase apocalypse, a wuxia one where the timeline matched the protagonist's, and a fantasy just kicking off its adventures. This was the first time I'd seen something truly massive—a gigantic something. Even back in reality, the unease lingered from that colossal shadow glaring down at me, its grotesque form filling the entire sky behind the receding protagonist. I glanced out the window, confirmed the clear blue sky, and patted my chest in relief.
'Was that thing like the devs who made the game...? A literal world will...'
What the hell do devs think when they build a game? Don't they lock into one genre with some massive overarching conviction? Take that farm game I just left—the worldview was all about farming's importance, women screaming for agricultural progress, eyes glazing over fresh produce like it was the second coming. And I'd barged in before the world was even set, fucking with the flow enough to collapse it...
"No way I'm going back there... first time I'd actually risk dying for real."
Pulling up my ability window, I shook my head at the mini-farm entry—peacefully twinkling "Mini Farm" despite the spine-chilling sight I'd witnessed on exit.
+++
"Uh... so you're saying I can live in here...?"
"Yeah. Hell, I nearly died stealing this thing."
"Come on, even if it's bullshit, at least pretend to believe me... Anyway, to use the ability, I gotta keep the statue with me for a while, so don't touch it, got it?"
After swiping the statue, I'd scoured the internet for miniatures to store in my inventory. Hit up offline shops too, running around like a madman. Somehow, I'd turned into a normie collector of minis and figures, cosplaying as a weeb. But I leveraged it—posted on the academy site everyone could access. Straight-up: seeking experts to build a full village for a tiny figure to live in.
At first, my rep for crazy shit made fans think, 'This guy's at it again.' But the insane budget listed blew minds, sparking short news clips. Unintentionally hosted a national audition. Everything has a start and end, though—I picked the top-quality applicant, and boom, nationwide mini boom over.
Why the fuck is everyone so obsessed with me and Park Jisu's lives...? Anyway, after the chaos, I eyed the miniature made for me and my women, smirking in satisfaction.
Microwave-sized for easy handling, packed with lush mountains, lakes, an antique Eastern mansion—like a luxury villa—and surrounding nature.
'Space is scaled down for max room, so I can fill it with daily necessities and shit. Heh heh.'
I nodded to myself while Park Jisu shot me a disbelieving glare.
She accepted spatial powers like the bald principal's no problem, but nitpicked her husband's words. Her pouty lips pissed me off a bit.
"Hey, you bitch, you think your man's power is just that? Tch, so suspicious. Tsk tsk."
Park Jisu mulled over what I'd told her, then nodded with a gasp.
"Ah... right, you said you had even crazier powers than entering a tiny figure village... Still, seeing it for real is hard to believe."
She'd heard tons about my abilities bit by bit, but every time I jumped worlds, time froze for her till I returned done. So she fixated more on the miniature than my powers.
"Hmm... but..."
"Yeah? What?"
"Why do we need this?"
"..."
Under her dumb-cute face, sharp kitten eyes glared. Real life? We had our house, jobs, no envy-worthy life or better. Questioning why I'd bring this thing, she suddenly latched onto something, eyes narrowing. I slowly rolled mine away from her stare.
"You got this for the stray cats to live together in?"
"Uh..."
"Figured. Miniature means sticking it in that sub-space? Right, your inventory to carry around?"
She saw right through my shallow plan. Cold sweat trickled, but I brazenly stiffened my face and nodded.
"...Well, it's gonna happen eventually... right?"
"You fucking bastard."
"Ungh..."
Park Jisu kept glaring sourly, went quiet, glanced at Tang Xiaoxiao tilting her head nearby, then sighed like it was inevitable.
"The problem's my genius mutt at home. Sigh..."
She'd known intellectually, but facing rivals turning family hit home. Was it prep from Tang Xiaoxiao, or ironclad trust I'd never neglect her? Her normal reaction let me exhale in relief—
Then her eyes flashed again.
So damn cute, like a real kitten, laughter bubbled up despite myself...
"So next, you're hitting the SF game on my list, right?"
Posture screaming she'd throw a fit if I didn't. 'What else besides that dogshit game... sci-fi waifus maybe?'
Mulling her marked list in my head, her closer nagging forced my hand.
"The one you starred, yeah?"
"Yup. Dunno the lore, but I want one of those guns."
Bullshit on not knowing the world. Hands on hips, grinning smugly—ridiculous, I snorted.
Her sloppy charm had me throwing in the towel. I nodded.
'Does she think no heroines means no women at all?'
No one rocks peak idiot charm like Park Jisu.