PT Hell and Group Sparring Mayhem
"Fifteen, Owl! Raise those legs higher!"
"Ah, fuck!!!"
"Does Twenty-Two Owl think I can't see you lowering your legs?!"
"Fuck!"
"Why the hell are Two Owl's legs only that high? Huh? Why are you acting all cutesy now?! I'm a taken man! Get that ugly mug out of my face!!!"
"... Fuck!"
On the wide-open group training ground floor, the cadets were doing leg raises with adjustable weights strapped to their ankles. Since they were my classmates and I already knew exactly how they'd slacked off during class, I'd set the weights to maximize the strain on each one before starting PT time. The indescribable screams of agony and venomous resentment that burst out had my lips curling up involuntarily.
"Look at this! Eighteen Owl's doing it so easily she's practically asleep, so how much have you all been skimping on training to be struggling like this?!"
At that, everyone's eyes turned to Park Jisu, who was lying on the floor raising her legs while snoring away peacefully. She had weights on her legs too, but the cadets had no idea I was using Sahonroeju to manipulate her like a puppet, reducing the load remotely and controlling her at will. To them, it looked like she was exploiting her status as my lover for some unfair advantage. Honestly, she was my woman, and I was just practicing Sahonroeju by attaching a few threads to her body, but even I hadn't expected her to actually fall asleep in this extreme situation. Outwardly calm, inwardly I was sticking out my tongue in disbelief.
"Everyone, up!"
""Fuck!!!""
This time too, at my command, Park Jisu rose to her feet without expending any effort—like a zombie—standing there asleep. Not twitching a muscle, eyes closed, drool trickling from the corner of her mouth... The sheer incomprehensibility of it all had the cadets and Instructor Park Jongcheol's eyes bulging.
"Hmph... Eighteen Owl is undoubtedly an outstanding cadet. To endure this TA's training course with such ease... Therefore, I judge that Eighteen Owl no longer needs training. She'll be excused from here on out."
*Slurp.*
Waking up only now thanks to the weird atmosphere and all the stares focused on her, Park Jisu sucked up the drool from her mouth. I was still assisting with all the load on her body—not just the weights—so with the lightest movements imaginable, she stretched out her stubby limbs and yawned hugely.
"So cute."
"Hehe."
*Clap. Clap. Clap.*
The cadets glared at me regardless, but with my lips curled and head nodding in satisfaction at the unfiltered praise that slipped out, Park Jisu—far from normal herself—scratched her head and blushed beet red.
"Our cute, lovable, sexy Eighteen Owl will be excused from training immediately. Got it?"
"Yass!"
*Pfft!*
Someone burst out laughing involuntarily at Park Jisu's sudden cutesy act, which was just as unhinged as mine.
"Who was it...? Who made that laughing sound?"
"I-it was me."
As expected, the culprit was my deranged buddy Jeong Jae-kyung.
"What? You dared mock our cute, lovable, sexy, overflowing-with-beauty Eighteen Owl? Don't you know insulting Eighteen Owl is the same as insulting me?!"
"Ah, fuck!!!"
"Hoo... I'm disappointed in all of you."
"Hey, cut it out, you punk."
I ignored Instructor Park Jongcheol—who'd been chuckling along until now but suddenly decided to butt in—and continued.
"With that in mind, this TA judges that you cadets need more grit and venom. We're doing group sparring. You all get it, right?!"
"He's just doing whatever the fuck he wants... Sigh..."
"You get it, right?!"
""Fuck!!!""
Unlike Instructor Park Jongcheol's snickering reaction, when I announced the group sparring they'd half-expected among themselves, they sent hopeful glances—bolstered by pride in their abilities and the sheer number of over twenty heads.
Arrogant bastards... You think I'm just some ordinary A-rank hunter...? Heh heh.
Iron Man for defense, damage reduction via Sipdan-geum's unity technique. And lately, my favorite high-versatility Sahonroeju. The thought of blending these abilities to show off a new side in front of them had my balls tingling with excitement.
"Ranged groups, form up and get to the rear quick!"
"Hey! You crazy fuck Jeong Jae-kyung! Why's a melee DPS heading to the back?! Front line's for meat shields, asshole!"
"H-hey, I am!"
"Crazy bastard... Tae-gun, take this guy away, please."
"..."
"Ah! You too, fuck off...!"
Having shown off melee combat skills so far, everyone was scrambling to join the ranged group's formation without exception. Seeing musclehead Tae-gun and Jeong Jae-kyung's desperate cries stirred an inexplicable sourness in me.
"Hurry up and form ranks! Why are melee DPS trying to squeeze into the ranged group?! Where'd you leave your dicks?!"
At that, the female cadets—who were technically melee but genuinely dickless—shot their hands up.
"We don't have dicks, so can we go to the back...?"
"You might not have dicks, but you're dick-eating old hags, so standing up front is common sense, no?"
"Y-you fucking bastard... Shut up! Little-dick punk!!!"
"Hmph... Old hags acting all high and mighty..."
Daring to call me little-dick... What a laughable cotton-swab attack—I snorted derisively.
"Whether I'm little-dick or not, our sleek, charm-exploding Eighteen Owl will prove it, so get to the front line quick!"
Park Jisu, who'd been standing contentedly beside Instructor Park Jongcheol watching the chaos, blushed furiously and squirmed at the mention of my junk. She'd tilted her head since I was her first man, unsure if it was small or not, but as she placed a hand on her lower belly, measuring inch by inch, the cadets' eyes—glaring at her—filled with shock in various shades of meaning.
"F-fuck, pedo bastard... Trying to kill her... What the hell does he pack?"
"At that size, Jisu surviving is a miracle...?"
The guys' gazes overflowed with awe beyond envy and jealousy. The girls' eyes swirled with an indescribable, subtle vibe; their shrill voices had hushed, throats bobbing as they swallowed hard.
The female cadets' little-dick jabs had accidentally outed me, but dick size was like a measure of male confidence. With reverent stares from both sexes feeling like cosmic affirmation that I was chosen and an exemplary TA, my shoulders broadened like the Pacific.
"Alright! Whoever claims to have the biggest dick among the melee guys steps up front!"
Synergizing with my outing, the male cadets glanced slyly at the females and shuffled forward.
""Ooooh!!!""
In the blink of an eye, Tae-gun and Jeong Jae-kyung took the forefront. Jeong Jae-kyung was a moron, so fine, but even black-hearted Tae-gun moved like he was possessed. I'd thrown out the joke to control them easily, but the girls' weird vibe made the training ground feel like a mixer; amid the steamy tension, I bellowed with mana-infused force.
"Charge!!! You turning the sacred Academy into a salt farm?! Wanna die?!"
""Ah, fuck!!!""
"... Fuck, it's him..."
"Who...?"
"Hic!"
"Hoo... I was gonna go easy, but your attitudes piss me off, so this TA's gonna straighten that mindset with some harsh, truthful education. Got it?"
Varied reactions and voices from behind me.
"Bullshit, you were gonna wreck us anyway... Crazy fuck."
"T-TA, you're so cool...!"
The sympathy battle for vice principal had already begun, but poor Instructor Park Jongcheol was clueless. Shaking my head, I stripped off my tank top and drew spider threads from both hands. Reflecting sunlight at various angles, the hazy, shimmering strands cascaded like a waterfall, fluttering in the wind like a dance to my twitching fingers, swirling around me.
The cadets' mood visibly stiffened at the never-before-seen ability and my nonchalant demeanor.
"Alright, everyone rush me at once."
At my words, the cadets still hemmed and hawed. To think they'd lack this much grit... But narcissism kicked in as my abilities lined up in my head; convincing myself their attitude was justified, I nodded and opened my mouth.
"Hit me once, and it's 100 million won."
""Le-let's go! Fuck...!""
Tsking at my classmates' utterly unhinged response, I glanced back at the minor commotion. There, Park Jisu flailed midair, restrained by Instructor Park Jongcheol, her eyes and body wild with madness.
Sigh... These lumps of desire... Tsk tsk.
Truly, I seemed the most normal in our class—a sigh escaped me naturally.