Harem Flex and the Cuck's Ugly Breakdown
My other abilities from Tier Bagging—if I categorized and researched them by big buckets like sex or combat—might yield some decently useful skills in this world too, but what a waste of time... I need to test the important ones first.
Inventory wasn't some piddly skill like Sipdan-geum or Iron Man; it was the foundation of all my powers, gained through Game Master. If this world detected Inventory and granted it as a skill, I'd get another subspace—pure profit. Even if it didn't detect it, interpreting the spirit stone flickering in and out of existence in my hand might trigger some fresh change. No downside there.
And honestly, I'm not expecting any basic ability upgrades anymore anyway... Plus, after absorbing Plang's horns, I'd need to climb the Tower's upper floors for gear that outstripped my physical stats. That felt like the only satisfying option. I'd come to this world for gear, but hopping between worlds had shot my growth through the roof. A wry smile crept over my face at my own situation.
Well, that's got its perks too.
With that, I killed time fiddling with Inventory, bobbing my head to the distant thud-thud of explosions like it was a beat.
"Boss~!"
Far off, Tier—smeared head to toe in green blood—came bounding toward me, waving wildly. Daphne was washing her off, while Plang used magic to gently roast an orc sprawled on the ground. Just as I'd figured, their overwhelming powers had let them utterly demolish the orcs. A warm satisfaction bloomed in my chest.
Grinning, I stood and headed their way.
By the time we bag the floor boss, maybe I'll get a reaction? The cool bite of the ring on my finger made my heart race for some reason.
+++
"Oh... a warrior?"
"Isn't that the rookie from before?"
"Probably."
We'd roughly cleared the request and portaled back to the city. The sun was dipping low, so maybe our paths overlapped, but familiar adventurer faces from past brushes dotted the crowds, whispering as they eyed us.
Leading our party, Tier proudly hauled the battle-axe—proof of the warrior orc's defeat—over her shoulder, strutting like a queen. Brick-head Plang, soaking up the hype from the onlookers, pranced beside her, thrusting out her massive tits like a trophy.
Her proud steps made those hefty jugs bounce up and down, splitting the male adventurers' grins ear to ear and souring my mood. With a sigh, I kept pace, Daphne's arm linked in mine, her face flushed beet red.
Men were men, after all. Yelling wouldn't stop those fuckers from ogling my girls' racks.
Fucking annoying, but barking at them not to look would just make me look pathetic too... They'd sneak peeks and burn the images into their brains anyway. Better to play it cool, broadcast that they were all mine, and rub it in their faces. Seemed like solid PR for my image.
This ain't the Demonic Cult; gotta play nice. Heh heh.
With a thick smirk, I tugged Daphne along and caught up to Tier and Plang at the front.
"Hm?"
The two tilted their heads, like they expected me to say something. I flashed them a soft smile and opened my mouth.
"Come here, both of you. Place is crowded—don't get too far ahead."
I raised my free arm—the one not occupied by Daphne—beckoning gently. Tier and Plang shot Daphne a sharp glare before latching onto me.
Filterless aegyo queen Plang burrowed into my chest, hugging my torso tight. Tier gave a wry smile, hesitating before softly grabbing my other arm. Her fluffy tail instinctively curled around my waist, her shy heart hitting me straight.
And just like that, our street-puke-inducing harem robot was complete.
The adventurers who'd been buzzing about us froze, their faces twisting as a barrage of emotions chased our party's backs. Female adventurers glanced from their squid-faced male buddies to me, sighing enviously. The guys looked like I'd NTR'd their dreams, jaws slack with utter despair. Pathetic.
Dumbasses... already fantasizing about shacking up with my women?
I snorted inwardly. How far did we waddle as walking vomit triggers? Maybe my uncharacteristically kind mood paid off—when we pushed open the guild doors for request completion and payout, the one person I'd both craved and dreaded spotting appeared.
"Be... rg?"
It was Leon, looking like a total loser in the corner of a burly mixed-gender party. A quick scan: a hulking axe-wielding barbarian dude, an ugly freckle-faced priestess, and an archer bitch who screamed "troublemaker."
"Hey, Leon. Long time."
Our party's looks, vibe, and the triumphant warrior loot had his teammates glancing at him and edging away. Eyeing them nervously, Leon shuffled forward.
"A-Already done?"
His shaky eyes raked over Daphne's lower belly, snug in my arm. To him, the pregnancy bombshell still hit hard—his voice quivered.
"Yeah. Guess species differences play a part. Sorted quicker than expected. Right?"
I swiftly unlinked arms, pulled Daphne into my embrace, and stroked her ear softly. Her porcelain skin flushed crimson; she ducked her head shyly but nodded faintly—like a delicate flower stirring a man's smile.
Aw, my wife's throwing a fit like it's her funeral today. Heh heh.
Compared to our last goodbye, this sugary scene made me an unwitting Tier-bagger. I glanced over—yep, Leon stared blankly, his clenched fist trembling sweetly.
Schadenfreude hit, but that familiar loser's gloom crept over his face. Sensing drama brewing, I wrapped things up quick.
"A-Anyway, we're outta here. Forgot something at home. Kids, let's head back first."
Tier and Daphne, knowing Leon's deal, got the hint and nodded sharply, falling in step.
"R-Right, Boss! I forgot my jerky too!"
"M-Me too... N-Nice seeing you, Leon."
Of all excuses, they pick jerky? I nearly burst out laughing but nodded seriously, grabbing their hands and hauling ass.
"Sisters are dummies? We ate all the jerky earlier. Hehe. Dummy sisters."
Plang's oblivious chirp popped veins on Tier and Daphne's foreheads, but that's their beef.
"Take care, Leon!"
"Bye!"
"H-Have a good day?"
We bailed fast, scooping my girls and bolting the street. Then, a hideous wail erupted behind us—like a goblin orphan keening for its parents.
"Whoa! That uncle from before is crying!"
Plang, trotting along hand-in-hand, twisted back with a sun-bright grin, pointing accusingly.
"Whoa... he's super ug... ly? Ugly! Right?!"
"Shh! Quiet, dummy."
"Dummy?"
"Fuck."
Sighing at Plang's head-tilt, our party finally returned to the estate after conquering our lifelong peril of a long journey.
That was close... fuck.
Imagining a grown-ass man bawling in the street middle, cold sweat trickled as my head shook. How'd Leon's scary-looking party handle him? Curiosity nagging, I flung open the door to our nest.