Who the Hell Is That Pissing Behind the Fence?!
As I stepped out of the entrance, the brutally cold air swept over me as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
I had endured the temptation of the freezing wind that had urged me, fresh from warming myself by the hearth, to huddle back under the warm blankets. Now, with a completely naked Sigrun clinging tightly to me from behind, I asked her,
“Aren’t you cold? Why did you come out naked again?”
“It’s all because of your cursed magic, you bastard♡ Because of your cursed magic, I can’t wear anything until your cock is buried deep inside me… eek?! Wh-what the hell?!”
“It’s probably just because of your exposure play. Look at you now, shivering all over the place.”
The moment I pressed a snowflake against her nipple and she jolted upward, it seemed she wasn’t actually feeling the cold at all. Maybe she just had so much body heat?
Instead of trembling violently like someone about to die from the cold, Sigrun just shrugged and said,
“Anyway, follow me quietly. If you cause any trouble, I’ll make sure there’s nothing left of you.”
“Kk… this is neglect play…♡ More importantly, where the hell are we going now?”
“It’s time to feed the pigs, so I’m bringing them back into the pen.”
“The pigs? When I went to the pigsty earlier, they were all huddled together nicely.”
“That was only the sows and their piglets. The feeder pigs are probably outside by now.”
A picture is worth a thousand words. I knew Sigrun would understand the moment I pointed toward the pigsty. We headed straight there.
But it seemed something had piqued her curiosity again. Sigrun jabbed my back with her nipple and asked,
“So you’re running a farm here in this place? I’ve seen it with my own eyes, but how the hell do you manage to do it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“When I went into the pigsty earlier, I saw those huge, fierce Battle Boars. They’d need a ridiculous amount of feed, right?”
“Ah, how the hell are we supposed to feed all those beasts in this harsh wilderness?”
It was a really sharp question. That was exactly why I had agonized over what kind of feed to give the pigs when I first decided to raise them here.
In the modern world, I could just load up a truck with feed. But here, the very concept of feed didn’t even exist. I also couldn’t just let them roam free in a vast field all day. If I fed them whatever was handy, their growth would vary wildly between individuals, and the biggest cause of that gamey smell—the accumulation of skatole in their fat—would become a serious problem.
“Skatole?”
“It’s a substance produced in an animal’s intestines. It naturally forms when you eat high-protein foods like beans or chicken breast. When it builds up in a pig’s fat, it turns into that nasty gamey odor people complain about.”
That’s why I had to find something that would reduce skatole, wouldn’t build up in the fat, and still keep their guts healthy while suppressing protein breakdown inside their intestines. Something I could actually feed them.
“So it’s even harder here. Honestly, where would I even find that in Frostheim?”
“But you’re saying that because you’ve found something, right?”
I pointed toward the distance while Sigrun, eyes sparkling with genuine interest, listened to my story. “Exactly! After wandering around Frostheim for years, I finally found it! Right there—Ice Barley!”
“Where exactly? That’s just a forest… wait, barley? How the hell can there be barley in a place like this…?”
Sigrun followed me with eyes full of doubt, but the moment we crossed the coniferous forest, she saw the vast open field covered in blue Ice Barley and the Battle Boars munching away on it. Her breath caught.
“There’s a place like this here…? And those are barley? The blue ones?! They look completely different from the barley I know…?!”
“Precisely. They’re called Ice Barley. They grow naturally on Thunder Rock Mountain.”
“Thunder Rock Mountain? Even ten years ago, lightning struck it constantly. Not even Mithril-class adventurers would dare set foot there!”
Sigrun asked if the mountain I mentioned was really the one she knew. I nodded. “I’ve been everywhere else, but I never scouted Thunder Rock Mountain thoroughly. So I climbed it like I was grabbing at straws, found the barley, and got this hammer.”
“Anyone who steps foot in a place like that must have multiple lives. More importantly, that hammer…”
“Yeah, this one.”
I nodded again and reached toward the pigsty. The hammer shot into my hand like a bullet. Sigrun’s eyes went wide again as she pointed at the hammer. “That hammer! The magical one that shoots lightning! Where the hell did you even find such a mysterious thing?!”
“Lucky find. Thanks to it, I’m using its voltage to repel these perverted naked beasts right now…”
“Voltage?”
“It’s a thing. Now, come here.”
I smiled awkwardly and picked a few Ice Barley grains, handing them to Sigrun. Sigrun, equally curious, simply stared at the grains rolling around in her palm. Then she lifted her head and asked,
“These look just like barley. But the shell around them… that’s ice, isn’t it?”
“It’s their natural armor. That’s why normal people have to melt the ice before eating them, but for the Battle Boars here, who can chomp through steel like candy…”
“It’s the perfect food. And looking at how densely these fields are packed, their reproductive power must be insane…”
“Well, they can’t digest the shell, so they grind it with their teeth and then poop it out anyway.”
Hmm… I must have underestimated you too much, you perverted naked beast. I thought you were just a slut. Now I see you’re really curious.
“What are you looking at? No way…”
“No way… you can’t hold back anymore? You barbarian scum♡ You’d trample on my virginity in this frozen wilderness♡ If it weren’t for that filthy magic of yours♡”
“…”
Is it really just sluttiness after all?
I quietly slid my hand between her thighs and watched Sigrun’s virgin pussy dripping with clear juices, then shook my head. “You pig. You don’t have patience even for curiosity. Shut that mouth!”
“♡ I’m ready♡ So hurry up… kooohooo?! ♡”
Slap!
I smacked her already rock-hard clit right on the spot. Sigrun, who had been thrusting her hips forward expecting me to tease her again, let out a scream and jumped in place from my surprise clit slap. Just like a rocket, her pussy juice sprayed out as she leapt two meters into the air. The second she landed, she launched into a furious protest at me. “W-what the hell is this♡?!”
“You were trying to hold it in just so I’d praise you, and you still couldn’t? You’ve got the stamina of a wild animal.”
“Mmm, you talk a big game♡ You’re pretending to punish me while checking if my clit is suitable for such a vulgar toy. Eek, eeek?!♡ Don’t pull it! ♡”
“You won’t shut up?”
Crack!
I pinched Sigrun’s clit hard at the same time I rang a small bell hanging on the fence surrounding the field with the hammer. DING-DONG!
“DING-DONG!”
“What the— The Battle Boars suddenly stopped eating and… oooh♡ They’re coming back! ♡”
“I was trying to signal them to come back.”
“You mean I was sexually assaulting your clit as the signal♡”
“I didn’t pull your clit. I just hit the bell… No, let’s just say that’s what I meant.”
Even though I had given the signal, the pigs kept munching on the barley and ignored me. I opened the gate and approached them. “Come on in, everyone. Don’t overeat or you’ll catch a cold. Hurry up and get in.”
“Even the Battle Boars that sleep through snowstorms can catch a cold?”
“These ones were born and raised inside the pigsty. They’ve never seen the wild. They’re probably a bit more tolerant of the cold than real wild ones… Hey! Who the hell is shitting behind the fence?! Get over here!”
“Kiihiiit♡ N-no, it’s not because you keep pulling my clit♡”
“They don’t seem to listen to hands. I’m gonna have to pierce that clit later and attach a real ring. If they ignore me, I’ll tie a leash to your clit and drag them.”
“Ah…♡ Y-you just proposed to me…♡”
“What?”
“Who says a masochistic naked beast can’t get married by piercing the clit? Clit piercing equals marriage ring.”
I clicked my tongue while Sigrun, instead of feeling ashamed of my filthy comment, blushed like a virgin falling for her first love and looked cute. We walked into the pigsty with the pigs. “One, two, three, four…”
“What? You really remember every single one of them?”
“Of course I do. They’re all my property… wait, shit, I forgot how many I counted after asking you to help me!”
“Kiihiiit?!”
Curiosity flared again. I twisted Sigrun’s clit so hard it almost hurt, then shoved her straight into the empty pigsty.
“Y-you can’t mean…♡ The patrol was just an excuse, right? You wanted to fuck me right here… in the pigsty…♡”
“I was really just going to patrol! You kept getting me so horny with all your wet pussy juice that I couldn’t hold it in! You know I told you to wait, but you couldn’t wait!”
“Kk…♡ Is it really my fault♡”
“What?”
“It’s your fault for looking so adorable and sparkling with those puppy-dog eyes while you were telling me about pigs♡ Because of that, my pussy, which already wouldn’t stop getting wet from your evil magic, got even hornier…♡”
“Again?! You’re blaming a healthy barbarian for your own filth!”
I approached Sigrun, who was looking at me with loving eyes, while breathing rough hot air into her face.