These Are All Lust Pouches
So this really is the power of the Thunder Bear the barbarians revere—the one I'd only ever heard of in stories.
Even after leaping straight down from the cliff top she had only made a faint sound of pain. Her raw physique alone more than lived up to the title of heroine. And on top of that she carried the blessing of the Thunder Bear on her back.
The southern proverb about giving wings to a tiger must have been coined for exactly this kind of moment.
Looking at the savage claw marks gouged across the snowfields of Frostheim, Sigrun thought that even the thickest plate armor would be little better than cardboard before those talons. Her fingers began to twitch slowly.
Lipa Virna, who had been about to teach a proper lesson to the insolent civilized woman who not only meant to outbid her for the male she had already claimed but was actually preparing to fight her, bared a fierce grin.
"You know that was just a warning, right?"
"Indeed. Though I'm surprised. I fully expected you to try killing me without a word of debate."
"If it weren't for Hammar I already would have. He said if I don't tone it down he won't even see me."
"Hammar… ah?!"
Wait. Why am I even trying to fight right now?
Lipa's sharp hostility had ignited her competitive spirit so thoroughly that she had almost forgotten why she had come here in the first place. Sigrun hastily lifted the hand she had rested on her sword hilt and thrust it toward Lipa instead, shouting,
"It's a misunderstanding! I didn't come looking for some barbarian named Hammar! His name only came up by chance while we were talking about trolls!"
"Huh? What, you're not fighting? And what do you mean, misunderstanding? You didn't come here to stuff my male's seed into that pathetic little cunt of yours?"
"Who are you calling a pathetic cu— …Hah."
Relieved that Lipa seemed to be cooling down now that the conversation had turned to herself, yet still half-expecting the woman to suddenly cry You let your guard down, you big-titted bitch! and launch a surprise attack, Sigrun kept at least a minimal guard up as she spoke.
"I only said I had passed by some enormous, strange building over that way when that gentleman asked how I managed to arrive here safely alone."
"Ahhh! You came past Hammar's pig farm? And that's how his name came up?"
"A p-pig farm? That place was a pig farm?!"
"Yeah. I hear he wants to eat pork that doesn't reek of boar taint. He built the farm over there and lives by himself."
"And it's for fattening livestock, even?!"
If he lived as a nomad she could have understood it somewhat—but a farm?! The utterly unexpected word left Sigrun stunned. Lipa nodded as if she understood exactly how she felt.
"I know that look. When I told him we should raid the civilized folk together and build our empire and he just ignored me, said he was leaving the tribe to go farm, I had the exact same eyes as you do now."
"That sounds rather ominous, but… I was told he is a Great Warrior. And they simply let him leave?"
"Well, it's not like he went far. Besides, I already tried stopping him once and got beaten so thoroughly I passed out♡."
Why is she making that female face while talking about getting beaten unconscious?
Sensing an uncomfortably familiar shade of perversion in Lipa, Sigrun felt her strength drain away. She pointed at the massive battle wild boars ambling past and asked,
"Then those boars over there—surely they're from that farm as well?"
"Yep. When a lot of piglets are born he just hands them out to us. I hear the males reek so bad of musk you can't eat them even if you raise them. That's why the lower towns keep sending knights and adventurers like you after us so often."
"…"
Just how incompetent is our intelligence work?
From the way Lipa spoke it was obvious their activities had been noticed for a long time. Sigrun sighed quietly and firmly resolved that the moment she returned to the territory she would line the entire intelligence unit up for a thorough dressing-down.
"Anyway—you're really not here to take Hammar as your husband? I honestly believe you?"
"Truly not. I only came to scout a safe route for traveling to and from Thunder Rock Mountain before attempting the climb."
"Hmm… still a little suspicious. Your speech is so stiff it keeps making me think of knights."
"Urgh…"
The sudden ambush had made her knightly, rigid manner of speaking slip out without thinking—and of course that had aroused suspicion. Sigrun chewed her lip, looking faintly guilty. Lipa, however, seemed not to care much about that. After a moment's thought she spoke again.
"I'll say this first. If by any chance—if maybe—if it's really what I think it is, stop. Hammar is way too violent to take as a husband."
"V-violent? What do you mean by that?"
"I just told you. When he was leaving the tribe I said he couldn't go until my eyes fell out, so he literally dug out my eyes and then beat the living hell out of me. Especially my womb—he kept punching it, thump thump… you civilized people call that domestic violence, right?"
"Haaah…?! What kind of demon—?!"
As if I'm going to let this big-titted pink-haired bitch set her sights on my male!
Though she mixed in a few lies and exaggerations, most of the tale was drawn from her own experience, so Lipa managed to flesh it out with vivid detail. Seeing Sigrun's eyes go round with shock, she crowed in triumph.
"Right?! A demon if there ever was one, right?! You absolutely must never set your sights on him, got it?! Unless you're a barbarian woman like me with a tough body, huge tits, a fat ass, and a womb that looks like it can pump out kids no problem—civilized women should never take him as a husband. He's the worst kind of man!"
"Good heavens… th-that man… don't tell me that every night, on top of brutally assaulting women's wombs with his enormous manhood, he also takes a w-whip or something and…?!"
"Huh? Uh, y-yeah! Exactly, exactly! He raises pigs, right? He uses the same skill he uses on pigs to beat asses too!"
Utterly baseless slander!
Yet Lipa, needing to protect her prospective male, continued to smear Grihamar's name without the slightest regard for the stares of the other barbarians around them.
What Lipa did not know was this:
"He whips people's bottoms the way one herds pigs…?!"
"That's right! Unless you're a barbarian like me, or a year-round bitch in heat who never goes a day without wanting cock, or the world's biggest pervert slut, a pure little civilized female like you would faint on the spot if you saw it!"
"Haaah…?!"
Oh my… how is this man exactly my type♡
She had no idea that the pink-haired female knight standing right in front of her was precisely the "year-round bitch in heat who never goes a day without wanting cock, the world's biggest pervert slut" she had just described.
"Th-then… that man's age…?"
"Hmm? Twenty-three this year."
"Haaaaah?!"
And he was younger!
I-I could be raised as a breeding sow by a younger barbarian demon…?!
Already harboring the filthy, self-destructive desire—stoked by forbidden literature—to live as a barbarian's breeding sow, Sigrun felt her twenty-five-year-old womb, recently mocked by her subordinates as a spinster who had missed her chance, drop heavily.
"Ha… hahhnnngh…♡"
"…What the hell? Why does this bitch's face look like that?"
Throb—♡
Easily picturing herself being thoroughly trained by a younger barbarian man until she became his breeding sow, Sigrun quietly clenched her cunt right where she stood and came.
"I-is that so? Certainly… then I shall be careful."
"Yeah yeah, that's right, be very careful! I hear you civilized folk consider it a huge disgrace to be raped by a barbarian and end up with a kid."
"That was in the old days… ahem. Understood. I shall take care."
Judging from the information that the Great Warrior who would lead the barbarians from the front in wartime was instead buried on a pig farm, Sigrun concluded that the barbarians did not appear to be preparing for war against them. Watching Lipa relax at her reaction, she said,
"In any case, I am grateful for the information. Here—a small gift."
"Whoa! A dagger! This'll be great for cutting meat or skinning hides!"
"Heh. To be so delighted over a mere dagger. For all those enormous breasts of yours, your greed seems remarkably modest."
"Heh-heh. These are all lust pouches. I don't have greed for other things, so my sex drive is that much stronger♡."
"Of course. We are northern women, after all♡."
Keheheh♡
Feeling that she and Lipa got along surprisingly well, Sigrun held out her hand for a handshake.
"I shall take my leave now. As I said earlier, I came to scout a safe route to Thunder Rock Mountain."
"As long as you don't set your sights on Hammar, you're welcome anytime."
"I cannot guarantee it, but I shall decide after meeting him once."
"Huh? What did you just say?"
"No, nothing. I meant that we should meet again next time. Friend."
"Friend my ass. You pink-haired bitch. You didn't even tell me your name."
And so Sigrun parted from Lipa Virna and the Thunder Fire Bear tribe, then turned straight back toward Grihamar's pig farm.
After continuous surveillance thereafter, she became certain of one thing.
This barbarian, for all that he had been born with the bearing of a hero who could conquer the world, possessed desires that were far too modest.
And she made up her mind.
I will become this man's wife♡. I will thoroughly bewitch him with the honey trap of this lewd body of mine, then watch over him from the closest place possible… and snuff out any possibility of him harboring dangerous ambitions right at the source♡.
Just as noble houses cemented ties through political marriages, she would do something similar—only in a rather northern, and simultaneously masochistic, fashion—and become the bridge linking the barbarians with the people of Reinhardt Territory!
Yes… this is by no means driven by my vulgar desires… those are merely a side benefit… Oh? There he is.
"You wicked barbarian! I know not what schemes you harbor, but your ambitions end today!"
"…Who are you?"