The Barbarian Wants to Crawl into a Rat Hole
Respecting someone else's privacy is a very important thing in modern society. Most people don't want to spill their secrets to others. Things like a secret diary written to avoid war, a love letter scribbled with explicit phrases about romance, or a drawing expressing the sex appeal of an animal standing on two legs. The owners of such records could never have imagined their personal belongings being exposed to the public after their death.
Therefore, Eden was completely unprepared for this situation as well. The mental shock was just too great to begin with. There were all sorts of reasons why he had frozen up like he'd encountered Medusa.
"…?"
Neb tilted her head quizzically at the sight of Eden like that. She sensed a childlike innocence in his expression. Like a kid ripping off a butterfly's wings just for fun.
"Is it really that serious of a matter to shock you so? This goddess thinks it's nothing much."
Just look at her now. Not a shred of malice in that face.
"S-sorry. This goddess made a mistake."
Since the other party had laid the groundwork first with an apology and sincerity, there was no reason not to accept it. Eden nodded as naturally as possible, stoically, without a hint of emotion.
"No, you're right—it's not a big deal."
"…As expected, this goddess knew it."
With that, Neb smiled brightly.
"Well, since this goddess didn't bring up things like posting sentimental childhood writings and photos online, or confessing to a senior in the university group chat, or frequenting novel sites where gender-bending stories are the main trend… that must be it, right?"
"Gaaah!!"
Eden collapsed to his knees from the mental blow.
009. The Barbarian Wants to Crawl into a Rat Hole
Eden quickly suppressed his embarrassment. He muttered to himself like he was brainwashing his own mind.
Who am I? The ruthless barbarian… The one who enjoys slicing through flesh and bone, swallows raw meat without worrying about parasites, and loves brushing his teeth with a toothbrush made from stiff pig bristles before bed…
…
"Phew."
He felt a bit calmer. Eden rose from his kneeling position as if nothing had happened.
"Indeed, I can sense the dignity of a god. Even this room is exactly as I remember it."
"You don't need to hide your embarrassment that much in front of this goddess."
He ignored her. Anyway, it had been a long time since he'd seen his old bachelor pad. The nostalgic place he'd dreamed of. Just then, he spotted a closed window on one side. A glass window, rare in medieval times. On the outside hung blackout curtains he'd bought himself from a daily goods store.
Eden pulled back the curtains.
Whoosh—dazzling light seeped into the room. Stale air rode in on the breeze.
"Who knew I'd miss this fine dust."
He opened the window and stuck his hand out, thinking to bask in the sunlight. But the moment Eden's hand crossed the threshold, it vanished up to the wrist. As if cleanly severed.
"…!!"
Eden yanked his hand back in a flash. He checked his palm. The barbarian's hand, callused and scarred, was perfectly intact, proving what he'd seen was no illusion.
"What the hell."
He muttered to himself at the bizarre phenomenon. Behind him, he heard Neb approaching.
"It seems the relic this goddess absorbed wasn't in perfect condition, so the space she can manifest is limited—it's unavoidable."
"…Then what's that outside?"
Eden pointed to the view beyond the window. Cars, buses, subways. The bustling street scene with people coming and going.
"Just a simple illusion based on your memories."
Neb picked up the cola can he'd been drinking from.
"Fundamentally, this cola can and the scenery outside aren't much different."
"Then why did my hand disappear?"
"Ah, that? Well…"
As she answered, Neb took a sip of the cola. Gulp—she shrugged, savoring the fizz spreading through her body.
"Ahh. This place is your dream, but…"
Neb's gaze turned to him.
"…it's also this goddess's dream."
With that, she casually tossed the empty cola can out the window. It vanished cleanly the moment it crossed the boundary, just like his hand had.
"It's not really dangerous, though."
Neb pondered how to explain, furrowing her brow in thought.
"Hmm…"
Then she snapped her fingers, as if she'd figured it out.
"Simply put, you could call it this goddess's precious inner space."
The phrasing felt a bit off.
"Going out into that space won't harm your body or mind. At worst, you'd just wake up from the dream."
Neb settled into the soft mesh computer chair.
"If this goddess absorbs another relic, the space she can manifest will expand, and we can realize more of what you want…"
She spun around in the chair.
"…so no need to be impatient."
Leaning back, she crossed her legs leisurely. Her smooth bare legs traced graceful curves. The white dress-like outfit looked breathable, and Eden nearly flushed for a moment. Why no underwear? Anyway, Neb's eyes sparkled, as if anticipating his reaction. It almost seemed like she was waiting for praise, though that couldn't be.
Must be my imagination.
She was a goddess, after all, even if she had childish sides.
"……."
"……."
A few seconds passed in brief silence. Neb slowly patted the spot above her head, free of dust, or stared blankly at empty air.
Ah.
"Thanks."
She'd been waiting for gratitude. At Eden's words, Neb let out a small sigh with an odd expression.
Just as he sensed something off, his eyes caught the computer behind her.
"Does that thing work properly, by any chance?"
"…Of course."
Neb pressed the button on the computer tower to turn it on.
"Oh."
Eden let out a small exclamation at the glowing monitor. Of course, he had no intention of playing games. He wasn't crazy enough to think about games again after being sucked into one just for playing them. It was just the nostalgia from seeing a computer after so long.
"Manifesting all the files and sites from your memories is still too much."
Despite her words, Neb smiled confidently from her chair.
"But this goddess succeeded in recreating some creative works. The rest couldn't be read from memory…"
Neb showed him several files from the desktop one by one.
"Have the next chapters for these novels come out?"
Eden checked the file names. Titles of novels he'd bought through books or the internet were there. The Bird That Drinks Water, Butterfly's Flower, The Best Management, and so on. He spotted other familiar titles too—all infamous for unfinished serializations.
"Huh? Why are you looking at this goddess like that?"
Eden couldn't help but gaze at Neb with pity…!
Cold dew dampened his nape. Eden opened his eyes in the same sitting position.
The campfire had long burned out. Only black ashes remained, with faint smoke rising. Birds chirped here and there. A new morning had begun.
But today felt a bit different. Like he'd spent a full 24 hours in one go. And no particular fatigue lingered.
"You're awake…"
Neb, waking at the same time, yawned widely, looking more tired. Sniffle—clear snot dripped from her nose. The forest dawn must have been chilly.
"Ugh!"
Eden sadly watched his robe, which had shielded Neb from the cold night air, get soiled with her snot. Should I just tell her to keep it…
He moistened his throat with the waterskin and offered it to her. Still half-asleep, she could barely hold her head up.
"…No milk? Warm stuff."
Unfortunately, only cold water. Half-mumbling in her sleep, Neb gulped it down without complaint.
"Puha…"
Her eyes sharpened as she looked at Eden.
"So, was last night alright?"
"…Eh, decent enough."
It was the most satisfying sleep since falling into the medieval world. In reality, he'd slept sitting on cold dirt, guarding his surroundings. But in the dream, he'd been lying on a plush mattress bed. Anyway. His joints felt a bit stiff, but his max-level barbarian body shook it off quickly.
"Up we go."
Neb rose with a strange grunt, bundling the robe and handing it back to Eden.
"It served well for the night."
Knowing why it was damp, Eden hesitated to take it.
"Isn't it still cold?"
"…Eden. You knew that, yet left the village without preparing?"
"Ahem."
She had a point. After a moment's thought, Neb folded the robe halfway and draped it over her shoulders.
"Mm. That settles it for now."
Her gaze shot toward Eden.
"We need to find a village or city soon… without getting lost like yesterday."
"I'll try."
He said that, but navigating pathless mountains to a specific city wasn't easy. Noticing his doubt, Neb narrowed her eyes half-lidded.
"No good. Today, this goddess will lead the way."
"Pfft."
Eden burst out laughing despite himself. Not in a dream—this dead weight in reality was going to find the path?
Annoyed by his laugh, Neb's voice dropped.
"…What's that? The laugh."
Eden shook his head slowly. No need to provoke the dreamcatcher who warded off nightmares and was the key to going home.
"It's dangerous, so I'll take point. You just pick the direction."
"Hmph. Fine."
No real danger unless something extreme happened, but caution was wise. Neb confidently pointed ahead.
"This direction first."
Eden inwardly pitied the way she pointed. He roughly knew nearby cities' locations. Walkable ones were south and west. And she'd pointed east—where the sun rose. Sure, she wouldn't stick one way, but starting wrong felt pathetic.
"Alright, let's go."
Planning to steer her off bad paths, Eden slowly stepped in the direction she indicated. By his sense, avoiding another night outdoors today would be tough.
"……."
He was wrong.