A Prayer for Deliverance
"……We beseech You to come to us……."
I went to church when I was a child.
Because my aunt went to church.
She was a woman who needed something to lean on. Even a child could see she was no true believer.
At some point her visits grew fewer and fewer, and before she could see her third Easter at that church, she stopped going altogether.
It was fine.
It was fine for her to live without God.
Because unlike the sinless God I had no right to blame, there was already a sinner I could blame standing right beside me. A visible being. Something I could reach out and touch.
"……We seek Your guidance……."
I was my aunt's ruined church.
What I had wanted to be was a home.
"Excuse me."
Click.
The moment I opened the door to the internal medicine consultation room, the murmuring stopped.
A man sitting alone in a room the light never reached lifted his head. A man in his late fifties, his hair about half gone gray.
"Have you ever been lost, or wandered without knowing where to go?"
The man asked out of nowhere. His voice was hoarse, as if he'd been praying for a very long time.
"Yes. You do know this place is a Labyrinth, correct?"
"Ah…… the Labyrinth……. Yes, I know."
Having been in the dark the whole time, the man seemed dazzled by the sudden flashlight, and narrowed his eyes slightly.
"Do things ever appear doubled to you, or does your vision seem to be failing?"
I read the nameplate on the desk.
"Dr. Jeon Yeonggwang?"
"No……. I'm fine."
Jeon Yeonggwang still looked a bit dazed.
"There's a patient outside with some skin scraped off. I'll bring him in. Please take a look at him."
"Hm? I'm……."
"I know you're an internist."
I went straight back out of the clinic.
Kim Heesook and Yoon Geonmin were waiting with anxious expressions.
"Oof, I was getting worried you weren't coming out……!"
Yoon Geonmin, whose left cheek had lost a patch of skin in his bid for a windfall, didn't open his mouth once. Utterly docile.
"There was someone inside, so I took a look around and it delayed me. It was a doctor, fortunately."
At that, the patient's eyes widened slightly before screwing shut in pain. Even the smallest shift of expression must hurt.
"Let's go."
As we entered the internal medicine department, this time a rustling sound came from somewhere other than the consultation room.
"Dr. Jeon Yeonggwang?"
The doctor beyond the wide-open door glanced back sheepishly.
"Ah, I was just looking for some antibiotics and syringes……. My staff usually keep things organized……. Ah, here it is……."
Understandable. He'd probably barely set foot in here since opening his practice. In most cases a nurse would have administered an antibiotic injection anyway.
"Are you currently taking any medications?"
"Hm? Just allergy medicine……? Why, do I look like I'm on something strange? A man my age doing drugs would be meeting the Lord in no time."
The doctor laughed it off and looked past me.
"Ah, is that the patient?"
"Yes. This is Yoon Geonmin. The skin on his left cheek is scraped off."
"Oh dear, what happened……. Come this way, please."
Jeon Yeonggwang patted the examination bed.
The man who had seemed half-mad, lost in prayer, was gone; an ordinary doctor stood in his place.
The patient slumped onto the bed, tilting his head weakly.
"Hands flat, please. I need to check."
"Ngh……."
"Aigoo. Well, look at that — the skin's all still there? It didn't come off completely? And the bleeding's mostly stopped……. How on earth did this happen?"
Instead of the patient, who could barely speak, Jeon Yeonggwang asked me.
"When the floor became a Labyrinth, the locker room at that gym went strange too. He opened the wrong locker and ended up like this."
I gave a rough summary. Omitting the money.
"I see……."
There was something odd about the way the doctor looked at the patient.
"Well, in this state, rather than suturing it for no reason, it's better to just fix it in place and let it heal naturally……. You two can step outside."
Kim Heesook went out and sat in a chair in the waiting area, while I headed somewhere else.
"Hm? Where are you going?"
"Ah, just to look around. I'm bored."
While Jeon Yeonggwang pressed the half-torn skin back into place, secured it, and administered antibiotics and painkillers, I surveyed his consultation room.
The desk was neat and immaculately organized. An old-fashioned calligraphy frame sat beside the monitor, and the walls held his medical license and what looked like commendations from some foreign country, all framed and hung.
"Pray in faith, and the Lord shall raise up the sick; and though he have sinned, he shall receive forgiveness of the Lord."
† James 5:15
Comparing it to the photo in the newspaper article, it was definitely Jeon Yeonggwang himself, no doubt about it.
"Ngh, ngh……."
"There, there, it'll be done in a moment. Just bear with it a little, a little longer."
When I came back out to the waiting area, Kim Heesook was anxiously watching the treatment room. Her expression as she turned to me was somewhat dark.
"Have you ever had surgery in the past, by any chance?"
"……Yes. When I was seven. I was in a car accident."
"Oh my, how badly were you hurt……?"
Badly enough that my parents died.
"I'm fine. The prognosis was good, and I have no problems now."
Sometimes I think about it.
If something had broken in me that day — if some part of me had been ruined for good — then I, or maybe my life, might have turned out better than it is now.
I can still calculate, to this day, how to arrange for a car to break me just enough without killing me.
The make of the car, the distance between it and me, its speed, the moment the driver notices me and how quickly they react after that, the braking point — for every one of those conditions, separately.
Click.
The treatment room door opened and the doctor came out.
"Yoon Geonmin can rest for a bit."
"Ah, yes."
"Come to think of it, your names are……"
"Oh, right. It's all been such a whirlwind. I'm Kim Heesook. I do cleaning work here at Yuwi."
"Oh my. Thank you for your hard work, always."
Jeon Yeonggwang gave her a slight bow.
"I'm Seon Yuhan. I came here to interview at Yuwi."
"Heavens above……"
"Have you been staying here this whole time, Doctor?"
Jeon Yeonggwang's eyebrows twitched, and then his face darkened.
"Have you been experiencing feelings of heaviness, or depression, or despair?"
"……Embarrassing as it is to admit. I'm still this lacking."
Jeon Yeonggwang said it small, like a prayer.
"I did try going down. At first I thought it was just an accident……. But no matter how far down I went, didn't I always come back here? Where were the three of you, and how did you get here?"
Kim Heesook and I briefly explained what had happened on the twelfth floor below, in the server room.
"Is that so……. Then — do you ever feel as though electronic devices, computers and the like, are influencing the way you think……?"
Why is this man asking questions straight off a psychiatric screening form? He's an internist.
"No. Never."
The things that influence the way I think are all people.
People who left me.
One of them does reach out through an electronic device, though.
"Um, anyway, we're planning to keep going up together from here."
Kim Heesook ventured. In a tone pitched just right — not too light, not too heavy.
"Why don't you come with us, Doctor……?"
"……Yes. I should."
He agreed more readily than I expected.
I'd assumed he'd given up and resigned himself to praying.
Had seeing people arrive from another floor given him hope?
Not bad.
"Oh, but Doctor, could you take a look at us too? About the things stuck in our backs from earlier……"
"Of course, of course. Once Yoon Geonmin is out, I'll see to you both."
Right on cue, the patient shuffled out, a clean white gauze patch neatly applied to his left cheek.
"Aagh……."
"Yoon Geonmin! You holding up?"
"Yes……. What were you all talking about?"
"Oh, the doctor's coming with us. And he's going to look at the wounds on my and Seon Yuhan's backs, too."
While Kim Heesook and Jeon Yeonggwang went into the treatment room, one question kept nagging at the back of my mind.
But then.
What now?
There was still no clear clue as to the condition for leaving this floor.
Was that locker 26 in the locker room the key after all?
Or the gym beyond the locker room, which I hadn't yet entered?
Click.
Kim Heesook came out again, and I passed the baton, stepping into the treatment room.
"Doctor. Have you happened to check the psychiatry or dental departments?"
"Hm? No. Are your gums hurting, or bleeding?"
The doctor's voice came from behind me.
"Sorry? No — I haven't checked there yet, so I was asking. We need to find the condition for getting out of here."
"Ah, right……. Well, anyway, the wound's already been dressed well — there's nothing more for me to do. You're in far better shape than I'd be. I'll just clean the surface once more and change the gauze."
"Thank you."
Once the dressing was done, I left the treatment room with Jeon Yeonggwang.
"Shall we get going, then?"
"What, already?"
Yoon Geonmin sat in a waiting-area chair and glared up at me sullenly.
"Do you have any abnormal sensations in your legs?"
"No, why do you have to say everything in the most unpleasant way possible? I still need to rest a bit more……. Right, Doctor?"
"Hm? I wouldn't go that far……. Well, all the same, resting as much as possible is better."
"See? You should listen to the doctor. Oh — Doctor, is there any illness or symptom you'd like to ask us about?"
"Haah……. No. Never mind."
I'd considered going on without him, then given up on the idea.
If something happened while I wasn't there, it would be a hassle to piece together.
"Let's rest a little longer, then. Fifteen minutes or so — will that do?"
The doctor nodded slowly, as if that was plenty.
And so the four of us settled into the lounge-style waiting area and began to trade small talk.
"You know, Doctor, would you happen to have any snacks? We should've grabbed some on the third floor, but it slipped my mind……"
"Ah, yes. There should be some over at the desk. They're my staff's snacks, but…… it should be fine."
The crackle of plastic wrappers being torn open went on for a while.
"Aigoo, a little sugar does make you feel better."
Kim Heesook heaved a long sigh, then turned her head toward me.
"Have you ever been diagnosed with diabetes, or are you currently on medication for it?"
Was she asking because I wasn't eating any?
"No. I just don't have much of a craving right now."
Then Yoon Geonmin looked straight at me.
"Are you suffering from a loss of appetite?"
His pronunciation of that strange question was slightly slurred. A candy bulged in his cheek.
"How much candy, chips, cake, and other sweet or sticky snacks do you eat in a day?"
"Hm? Me? Eh, I just have some when there's snacks around at work, I guess……"
As Yoon Geonmin answered, Jeon Yeonggwang now looked at him.
"Do you take little or no interest or pleasure in your work?"
The internist fired off another question straight from a psychiatric questionnaire.
Dissonance.
Not about this hospital — a dissonance that had been crawling slowly up my spine ever since we arrived on this floor.
"Have you ever been diagnosed with paranoia, or are you currently being treated for it?"
"Hmm? Sorry? You mean me? Not at all. Why bring that up all of a sudden……"
"Aw, Doctor, don't mind him too much. This one's like that, you see. A bit too observant. But you've felt it before, haven't you — as if people were hinting things about you, or saying things with hidden meanings?"
"Sorry? What on earth are you……"
"Oh my, Doctor. Have you ever had to ask someone to repeat themselves because you couldn't follow the conversation?"
"Hm? No, everyone just does their……. Wait, is there alcohol in this chocolate……?"
"How often do you drink alcohol?"
"I don't even smoke! Come to think of it, have I ever smoked more than five packs of cigarettes in my entire life?"
My blood ran cold.
In Jeon Yeonggwang's eyes, fixed straight on me, the confusion had vanished without a trace.
Strange questions. Not at all (0 points).
Questions that seemed to fit the context yet somehow clashed with it. Occasionally (1 point).
Questions probing one another's bodies and minds, as if the doctor were taking our histories. Very much so (2 points).
A current in the conversation that I could not, for the life of me, hold back.
Ah……. Damn it.
It's over.
"Do you suffer from thoughts that you would be better off dead — or of harming yourself in any way?"
Even I could not escape that current.