Seduction (2)
I couldn’t remember exactly when I first became aware that my body was considered lewd. Around the time I graduated middle school, I started noticing unpleasant stares, but I was too young then to really think about what they meant. Once I entered high school, though, I gradually came to understand the way men looked at me. Even the boys in my class who had never done anything nice for me. Even the gross old men I’d run into on the subway. Even the perfectly respectable, married teachers.
Sticky. Dirty. Disgusting. Utterly obscene gazes.
After I understood what those looks meant, I tried wearing extra layers to cover my chest. It didn’t take long to realize the stares would just slide down to my skirt instead. In the end, no matter what I wore, men looked at me like I was something filthy. I decided it was easier to just show my body off on purpose. At least then, if I made it obvious I was annoyed, most men would back off.
Of course, even when I dressed like that and kept a scowl on my face, plenty of them still devoured me with their eyes.
“Ugh, I’m gonna die. For real…”
“Drink some water. Here.”
Like the man currently sweating buckets right next to me—Kang Juhyuk.
I wear leggings all the time, but the moment my top rides up enough to show my navel, he can’t take his eyes off me. He’s seen way more than that dozens of times. Maybe the only time this guy didn’t stare at my tits or thighs was that brief period before he barged into my house and pretended to be a decent person. Ever since then, he’s done nothing but try to strip me naked. He’s probably thinking about all the filthy things he wants to do to me right now.
“Give it here.”
I’d spent the last few days wondering why a man like him hadn’t laid a hand on me since that night. Unfortunately, there was only one answer that made sense.
…I really don’t want to say it out loud, but the only explanation is that he wants me to be jealous of him.
Of course, there isn’t a single reason I should feel that way toward Kang Juhyuk. I don’t have any romantic feelings for him. We’re just fucking. So why would I?
Even if you go catch yourself a normal girl and start dating her, what does that have to do with me?
“Weird. You’re usually the first one to say you’re tired, but you’re still going.”
“…I think I’ve been eating too much lately, so I’m trying to lose weight. Why?”
“You look fine even if you gain a little.”
“…”
…The only reason I didn’t want to see him having sex with Hinami wasn’t because I was jealous or obsessed like he delusionally assumed. It was simply because I hated that bitch Hinami.
Unlike me, she had everything. If she took the one thing she wanted from me too, she’d probably get all excited and rub it in my face. That’s why I purely, simply didn’t want to see her looking happy.
The same logic applied to why I’d had sex in someone else’s house. Wasn’t it hilarious watching a girl who was prettier, younger, and more successful than me fail to seduce even a man like him and end up masturbating on the floor?
I could make Kang Juhyuk horny just by sweating like this.
“There’s no fat on your stomach at all… Oh. Sorry. There is a little.”
“Your sweat’s all sticky. Get off me.”
“What’s sticky about sweat?”
“Just fuck off.”
See? When I dress provocatively in front of other people, even you can’t hold back, can you? It pisses you off that other men can’t stop staring at me, doesn’t it?
The reason you only let me wear modest clothes while filming videos for YouTube these past few days is because you were scared you wouldn’t be able to control yourself if I wore a school uniform or a cheongsam, right?
No matter how much you pretend not to look, not to get hard, and tease me about it, at the end of the day you’re just a man who thinks with that uselessly huge cock instead of his brain.
…So how about you stop acting already, Kang Juhyuk?
“We don’t have any videos to shoot today. Want to go somewhere after we finish working out? Just change your clothes and—”
“What?”
“Let’s take a break for once. Watch a movie or something. Now that I think about it, we’ve never been to the theater together.”
Don’t say shit that doesn’t suit you.
What? A movie? You? With me?
…Are you saying you want to go on a date?
…Don’t make me laugh.
Are you suddenly trying to play house and act like we’re dating?
“What the hell are you thinking, Kang Juhyuk?”
“What? I can watch a movie once in a while.”
I was almost sick of the shameless expression on his face after he’d just spouted something so ridiculously out of character. Why don’t you just be honest? You’ve been holding back for days because you wanted to do something to me again. You saw me in a tank top and leggings and got so horny you can’t stand it anymore.
“If you want to watch something, just watch at home. The TV’s huge anyway. No point wasting money.”
“There are movies you can only see in theaters.”
“You really want to go see a movie with me that badly?”
“Well, not exactly.”
“Then what?”
You want to go into the dark theater and grope me where no one can see, just like how you spent the whole ride here rubbing my thigh in the passenger seat. Is it too humiliating for you to admit that honestly?
Or maybe…
“It’s not like I can go with her. Everyone would recognize her.”
“…”
…You want to humiliate me that much? You want me to get jealous of you?
“Anyway, I was just kidding. Let’s go home. You’re right, it’s a waste of money. I didn’t even pick anything specific to watch.”
“…Let’s go.”
“Go?”
“I said let’s go. After we finish working out. To see a movie.”
Fine. If you want it that badly, I’ll pretend to go along with it. You’re clearly dying to pour all that lust out anyway.
**
“Want to leave?”
“…”
Kang Juhyuk’s whisper sent a quick shiver down my spine. I simply nodded, and less than an hour later I was standing up from my seat.
Even after we left the theater, I still didn’t want to go back in. The reasons were… first, the movie was fucking terrible. It was supposed to be a horror film, but I couldn’t even follow the plot. The acting wasn’t bad, but the characters themselves were weird. Honestly, it wasn’t scary at all.
Most of all, I couldn’t concentrate. Because the insane couple sitting right in front of us was openly making out the entire time.
“I should’ve listened to you earlier. Total waste of money.”
The only time Kang Juhyuk and I even touched was when our fingers brushed while reaching for popcorn. Of course, I’m sure he’d been planning to run his hand up my thigh the whole time. From the moment I changed clothes at home before we left. He’d been wearing that same shameless smirk he always did when he openly stared at my thighs on the street.
“The movie sucked, so let’s at least get something good to eat before we head back.”
“No thanks. I want to go home.”
Apparently even Kang Juhyuk still had some sense of shame left, because he didn’t do anything as shameless as that couple in front of us. I wasn’t sure if that counted as consideration or if he simply hadn’t thought about it. What was certain was that living with a bastard like him had temporarily broken my brain.
Letting him touch my stomach in the middle of the gym when every guy there was staring? Letting him grope my thigh and slip his hand under my skirt in the back seat where everyone could see? I really must have lost my mind.
Wearing revealing clothes and letting someone do dirty things to me in public were two completely different matters.
“Don’t get so mad. You even picked out a pretty outfit today.”
“It’s the same thing I wore last time, you know?”
The way he said it made it sound like I’d worn a short skirt because I wanted to be touched in front of people. All I’d wanted was to stop hating the sight of him pretending to be a decent, wholesome guy.
“Well, you looked pretty that day and you look pretty today. Same thing.”
“No matter how many empty compliments you give me, they don’t mean anything.”
“Empty? I’ve got plenty of sincerity.”
Maybe it was because that disgusting thought had touched him. He glanced around once, then pulled me toward the wall and wrapped his arms around me from behind.
“Hey, you crazy—!”
Then, with hands that were strangely gentle, in a place with zero consideration for others, he lightly lifted my breasts. His breath ghosted over my fully exposed shoulder. The height difference forced me onto my tiptoes.
“They looked heavy, so I’m helping. It’s more comfortable for you too, right?”
“Let go, people are walking by…!”
To touch my bare skin he’d have to pull off my sweater and bra, but even so, the sensation felt dangerously close to my heart. He was only holding me lightly from behind.
“Why are you overreacting so much? It’s not like I’m going to eat you.”
“Eat me… …Never mind. Just let go first.”
“I let go, I let go. There, happy?”
“Haah, seriously. You crazy bastard… You want to touch me that badly even outside? Don’t you have any self-control, Kang Juhyuk?”
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to sit through a movie with you so peacefully.”
The moment he let a sliver of his true feelings show, goosebumps erupted all over my body. Every hair stood on end. My heart pounded violently.
…Because the real you, without the mask, is far more terrifying than any horror movie.
“Anyway, sorry I ruined the date. I’ll make it up to you when we get home, so stop sulking.”
“Hey, what do you mean by—”
“…Or do you want to do it like that couple earlier?”
When you shove your finger under the choker you forced on me, yank my neck back, and whisper those words right into my ear, my body trembles with fear even though I know what’s coming.
“If that’s what you like, Haeun, I can do it right now.”
“S-stop saying weird things. Let go already…”
“Okay, okay. I’ll let go. For now.”
His fingers trailed over my collarbone. With a soft click, the choker fastened around my neck again. It made breathing a little difficult, so I took slightly labored breaths.
…Right. This was the real Kang Juhyuk. I’d almost forgotten after he spent the last few days pretending to be normal.
It’s fine. I already knew this about him. I knew he’d act like this. I showed him a gap on purpose… knowing that.
“So, what do you want to do now?”
“…Home.”
“At home. What?”
“Chicken and beer. …If you say you’re not eating, I’ll go drink with a friend.”
“Weren’t you trying to lose weight?”
“You said it was fine if I gained a little, didn’t you?”
“Well… if you lose too much weight, it’ll come off from here first.”
“I told you not to touch me outside…”
This time his arms wrapped around me from behind much more roughly. Feeling the hard grip, I felt a brief sense of relief that there was nothing but a wall in front of me, then squirmed and elbowed him away.
…It would be a lie to say I wasn’t scared, but this was still better. The shameless Kang Juhyuk who openly craved my body was far less frightening than the one who had done nothing at all earlier.