Experience Acquisition: 1, 0, 0 (3)
April 5th. Night. Finally back in Korea.
“I’m home~”
Even after sleeping through most of the flight, Jia still looks exhausted as she steps into the apartment. She kicks off her socks without a care and flops onto the sofa.
“Someone else’s house… never mind.”
Jia has long since realized that scolding me is pointless, so she doesn’t even get angry. She used to nag constantly, but lately it’s lost its spark. I guess her schedule is brutal enough to wear anyone down.
“I’m going to shower and sleep. Hinami, if you’re tired too, just take the other room. We’ve got another schedule tomorrow, so don’t stay up late.”
“Got it, got it. I’ll behave even without the lecture.”
I watch Jia strip without hesitation and head straight for the bathroom. A sudden idea strikes me, so I pull out my phone and snap a selfie. I caption it with a tired, half-dead expression and post it on Instagram.
Comments and likes pour in the moment it goes live. Sometimes, staring at the flood, I lose all sense of reality. After the last concert, I realized that tens or hundreds of thousands of people isn’t a number you can actually count with your eyes. So many humans packed together like bean sprouts that you can’t even take them all in at once—yet they all react to one short post from me.
…It’s strange. And thrilling.
Being an idol is a filthy, annoying job, but this one part is pretty great.
“Haa…”
But for every good thing, there are hundreds of bad ones. The guys sliding into my DMs with the most creative sexual harassment make me lose all faith in humanity. The ones who outright say they want to fuck me or grope my chest are easy—just report them. The real headache is the ones who phrase it just ambiguously enough that it’s not quite reportable. They keep making new accounts even after I block them. What the hell is wrong with these people?
…Though I do use them sometimes. While flipping them the middle finger in my head.
…Imagining an idol making a face she’s not supposed to make in front of a guy who’s over 190 cm and covered in muscle. Getting off to the thought of those guys watching me is oddly satisfying. It melts away all the stress they cause.
“Hinami.”
“Ah, Jia, you’re done?”
I’ve been lost in very un-idol-like thoughts, and time has flown by. Jia steps out wearing only a bra and panties, hair still damp, and points me toward the bathroom.
“Yeah. You can shower if you want. Your clothes are in the suitcase anyway.”
“Okay.”
“I’m heading to bed, so turn the lights off. Use the room next door—it has a bed.”
“Roger~”
We’ve already seen everything there is to see living together in the dorm, so there’s no real need to be modest. Still, if I had a body like hers, I’d probably cover up out of instinct too. Honestly… there are just so many perverts out there who’d lick every inch of her photos if they could. Especially her hips. Her chest. Her thighs. Even other women sometimes get handsy with Jia. Creepy.
“Haa…”
I step into the steam-filled bathroom, strip, and let the water hit me. …Even Jia’s body wash smells lewd. I should buy the same one. It’d be hilarious to kick those handsome male idols who try to flirt with me while wearing this scent. Idiots. There are prettier members in our group than our eldest, yet they still try to hit on me. They have zero intention of dating me or quitting being idols. Parasites. Chickens. Heh.
“…So lewd.”
As I lather the baby-powder-scented body wash over my skin, memories from our dorm days surface. …Jia was seriously, seriously, seriously lewd back then too. Plenty of people tried to make a move. If I were actually a lesbian, I might’ve gone for it once. Though with those abs of hers, she probably would’ve kicked me across the room with those legs. Sometimes when I see “Today’s Seo Jia Legend.gif” pop up online, I get why. The view count is suspiciously high compared to the comments. …Of course, “Today’s Hinami Legend.gif” gets disgusting numbers too.
“Huu…”
What’s so great about these skinny thighs that everyone’s always panting over them? No, I get the chest thing. I can make mine look decent if I try. Hips and ass make sense too—my waist is so narrow that they stand out. But guys getting hard over these frail-looking thighs and arms…? It genuinely makes my skin crawl. Their tastes are seriously questionable.
Most of my fans started following me when I was still a minor. Is it really normal to get off to a high-school girl’s thin arms and thighs? Huh?
“…Yeah…”
…Yeah. It’s gross, but them getting turned on by me is inevitable, right? My skin is ridiculously pale. My face has lost all its baby fat, so now it’s a fully mature woman’s face. My chest is pretty big for someone whose ribs show. A bit ugly, but bigger than our tall, great-dancer eldest sister. When I dance, it actually moves a little. …Still, the ones who grit their teeth and pretend not to notice are the grossest.
“……Nng…”
And her voice is insane too. There’ve been multiple articles calling it a voice that melts men’s hearts. Well, she originally wanted to be a voice actress. She does it on purpose, though. Singing is half taken care of by machines anyway, so no problem there.
“Huu…, puhehe…”
I carefully wash the dirty parts while covered in bubbles and start giggling. Ah, it’s really funny. Hilarious. The fact that I’m making lewd noises in someone else’s house shower is too funny.
…My fans who worship me like a goddess and call me “Hinami is an angel…” are so ridiculous. Ah, I wonder what those idiots would think if they saw me masturbating. Would they get all excited and jerk off like when they look at my underwear photos? Or would they deny reality and tremble in disbelief?
…What if I fucked a guy who’s super fit with a huge dick, like in AVs? Would they still be able to deny it? Those idiots?
“Haha…, haa…, hehe…”
Smiling brightly. The same smile I wear at fan signings. I make that face alone in the shower stall while pressing down hard on my clit so no moans escape.
Ahaha… Those reality-detached idiots are probably burning with worry about which parasite might touch this small, cute little clit. Or the ones who have slightly more sense but still pretend to be cool will just tell themselves that idols are human too, so of course she’s had sex.
Ah, what a shame. The reality-detached ones actually guessed right.
Of course… the problem is I haven’t found a decent owner yet. It’s not like I’m willing to risk my life to protect it or anything?
“Nng…! …Haa… I was too loud…”
Even if Jia is asleep on the other side of the hallway, making noises in someone else’s house is risky. I push aside the thrilling sense of immorality that feels like my brain is burning and adjust my pace.
Hehe… Maybe because I’ve been doing cosplay masturbation lately, doing it completely naked after so long feels fresh. I’ve been overstimulating myself too much recently. That time in Japan when I wore the school uniform was really intense. Just like the photo Jia posted on her Instagram after filming the MV—cardigan tied around the waist. Exactly how those bitchy girls who bullied me in middle school used to wear it. Walking around with buck-toothed, acne-ridden weird guys. What a bunch of idiots. Throwing away the most important value a woman has on those pathetic little men.
I own a dildo too, but I only suck on it—I never actually use it. Because… I’m an idol, right?
“Hehe, …nng, huu…”
Even an angel-like idol can close the soundproof booth door and moan all she wants when she’s alone at home. When I sucked on my clit with the Woo X-nizer, my hips floated up and my neck hurt. Ah, that was really dangerous. If some pervert had broken in while I was half-unconscious, I might’ve been raped. Of course… if he was ugly with a small dick, I would’ve forced myself up and kicked him anyway. Heh.
“Idiots, seriously, ahaha…”
Thinking about it, maybe that’s why Mom dumped Dad too. Honestly, as his daughter I know he’s a really nice person. But objectively speaking, Dad is ugly and short, right? A woman with a bad personality like Mom would obviously prefer some nameless foreigner over Dad. Thanks to that, I was born with pale skin, legs much longer than my torso, and a face beautiful enough to glow without makeup. Of course, once that got exposed, everything went to hell and I got bullied, but whatever.
If I’d been born from Dad and lived peacefully with him, I probably would’ve been an ordinary Japanese girl like Mom—140 cm tall with buck teeth. If I can handle that tiny bit of trouble in exchange for this overwhelming appearance filling my bank account, maybe I should be grateful for the affair.
…No, honestly, I’m not grateful. If that’s how she felt, she should’ve just married a tall guy from the start, you stupid bitch.
“Ahaha…, seriously… This won’t do.”
Feeling the traces of Mom etched into my genes, I keep thinking about my fans who adore me like crazy. …Ah, there really are way too many people who look exactly like Dad. Of course Dad’s love is agape, while theirs is eros, so it’s completely different. I think I finally understand why I can never feel any real affection for my fans. If people who look just like Dad look at me with sexual eyes, it’s disgusting, right? Yeah, it won’t work. It really won’t.
No matter how nice a guy I meet, I’ll obviously cheat anyway. The kind of man who suits someone as small, cute, and rotten as Hinami is… someone ridiculously tall, just as rotten in personality, …with a dick so huge he could get a daughter taller and better-built than me pregnant. That kind of man.
“…Haa, nng…! …Haaaa… haa… haha…”
Unfortunately… among all the fans I’ve met, there wasn’t a single one like that.
…I’m sorry.
Puhehe…