Taming (8)
Leaning on him, I click-clack my way back to the front of the house. The clinking sound is gone now. But my heart is still pounding, loud and frantic. …Because I know exactly what’s going to happen once we get inside.
“…”
In the elevator rising to the thirty-seventh floor, he pins me against the wall and smiles meaningfully. He doesn’t touch me with those lewd hands or bite my ear. He just presses his fully swollen crotch against my ass. It’s only been a short while since the waxing, and it still stings. He doesn’t care about that at all. He’s probably going to take me anyway. I told him with my own mouth that he could have me, so there’s no way that man is going to hold back. When a man and a woman spend the night in the same bed, that’s what happens. Even I know that.
“We’re here. Let’s get off.”
“…Yeah.”
Held by both arms, I stumble along to the front door. If the neighbors saw this, it would be humiliating, but without the collar I wore earlier, it strangely doesn’t feel embarrassing. …After all, anyone who knows we live together would assume we’re a couple anyway. Deep down, I’ve already accepted it for some time now. To other people, my relationship with Kang Juhyuk is obviously that of lovers.
“Go wait in my room while I wash up. I’ll bring you some coffee.”
“Uh, yeah…”
“The new beans should be good to drink by now. Oh, and Haeun.”
“What…?”
“…Take your bra off while I’m making the coffee.”
“…”
But the reality is completely different. He only treats me like a toy he enjoys playing with. He doesn’t have any affection for me. I don’t see him as a lover either—I see him as a crazy rapist bastard. Maybe that’s exactly why that psycho gets even more excited.
“…We’re really not having sex…”
I enter his room first, toss my bra aside, and sit on the bed with a heavy sigh. It’s supposed to be a room he uses alone, so why is the bed a double? …I don’t even need to ask. It’s obvious what it’s for. Trembling on the mattress whose purpose is crystal clear, I gently rub my still slightly sore sex over the stockings. Earlier, Kang Juhyuk had been so terrifying, and with my sister and that crazy woman around, I’d been too distracted to notice. But now that I touch it, I can tell it’s in no condition to take anything. I’m not joking—this is going to bleed for real. No. This can’t happen.
“Haeun, what are you doing?”
“Ah, huh? No, nothing…”
“Drink your coffee. Here.”
While I was carefully rubbing my sore sex, he suddenly bursts into the room and I flinch, throwing both hands up. He doesn’t seem to have noticed, but if he had, something even more horrible would’ve happened. Not that it matters—he’s going to pounce on me anyway—but I almost got caught masturbating in someone else’s room like a perverted dog. …Kang Juhyuk is the type who loves exploiting my weaknesses. I don’t want to give him that kind of misunderstanding.
“Tastes good, right?”
“…Yeah.”
Sipping the fragrant coffee he brought, I try my best to hide my anxiety. The moment he realized I was terrified of him, the things he’d done before sent chills down my spine. …That piece of trash. I got treated like dirt, and he can’t even show a little consideration? What a bastard…
Suppressing my anger, I sip the coffee. By the time the bottom of the mug is visible, Kang Juhyuk plops down beside me and casually slips his left hand under my skirt.
“Ah…”
“…Give me the cup. I’ll put it down.”
I hand him the cup. He still hasn’t touched the sore spot. His hand lingers on my thigh and the fold of my stomach, then slowly creeps higher, lifting my skirt and tugging at my stockings with little tugs. A few fingers slip in, tickling along my hip bone.
“…Lie down.”
“…”
His voice is cold, but unlike the emotionless tone from earlier, it’s thick with lust. It would be a lie to say I’m not scared, but this is still better. …Even if it hurts, he won’t make me do anything too humiliating. Sex… I’ve already done it anyway. Haah… Kang Juhyuk doesn’t go too far if I just behave. If I stay quiet and obedient and do what he says, it’ll be fine…
“Unbutton the middle.”
At his words, I undo the buttons down the front of my blouse. The opening spreads wide, exposing my cleavage completely, but I don’t feel embarrassed. …Yeah, let’s just pretend he’s my boyfriend for today. I lost a stupid bet, so we’re dating for one day only. It’s not like he’s ugly. He’s just a disgusting person, not disgusting as a man. If I just close my eyes and endure…
“You took your bra off. Good girl.”
“…Hey, Kang Juhyuk. Um…”
“Can you pull your stockings and panties down a bit? I need to do something.”
“…”
No matter how much I tell myself to endure, the stinging pain doesn’t fade at all. With trembling hands, I pull down my panties and stockings together, and the more the fabric peels away from my sex, the more my fear grows. If I have to take that grotesquely large thing of his in this state… No. Really, really…
“Just down to your knees. Fold your skirt up. Spread your legs.”
“…”
I know I absolutely shouldn’t, but my body can’t disobey his command. I’d rather it be something normal, like a slightly lewd couple. Even if we’re photographed having sex, it’s better than whatever else he might do if I refuse. My body remembers—if I resist, he’ll drag me outside and put the collar back on. He’ll walk me around the streets without panties or a bra. …He might even strip me completely. He’ll probably take me to a men’s restroom and do something filthy and vile. The things I imagine make my head spin. I can’t shake them off. Not unless he takes my thoughts away.
“…Pretty. Much better without the hair.”
When I show him my now-smooth sex—bare for the first time since middle school—shame finally washes over me. …What do you mean it’s fine because I’ve had sex before? I’ve never even had a boyfriend. Of course it’s not fine!
“Don’t look…”
“Why? It’s really pretty. …And there’s something I need to do.”
“Ah, wait…!”
Smiling, he pulls something out of his pocket, spreads it thickly over his hand, and crawls between my legs. Without any explanation, he smears the cold, sticky substance over my sex. The cool sensation on the stinging area feels refreshing. …And the anxiety comes rushing back with it. This is… that. That… lube or whatever it’s called.
“Stay still. It’ll hurt if I don’t use this.”
“Wait, just a second! You said you wouldn’t touch me…!”
“I’m not touching. I’m applying it.”
I’m not completely ignorant about sex. I’ve heard enough from my friends to know the basics. I might not know the exact positions, but I know about condoms, dildos, and lube. …This is the slippery gel that makes it easier to put in. Spreading that lewd liquid over my sex feels similar to when he smeared his own fluids inside me last time, and my body keeps twitching even though he hasn’t touched any sensitive spots. …It’s like he’s pouring sauce over me before devouring me. My heart pounds heavily.
“This is kind of hard to apply by yourself. You can’t even see it properly, being a woman and all.”
“That’s enough, stop…!”
“I still need to do the back. Want me to do it?”
“The back…?”
“…You got waxed there too. Looks clean.”
While spreading the gel over my groin, he starts tapping at my perineum. Then, with his other hand, he lifts my hips and pokes at my most shameful spot with sticky fingers. …Here? No, not here. No matter how thoroughly I washed…!
“Hey, Kang Juhyuk! What are you doing…! I said you could take pictures, not touch…!”
“I never said I couldn’t touch your ass. Did I?”
“You already touched everywhere else…!”
Startled by the disgusting sensation, I wave my hands, but he casually uses that vulgar word and ignores my wishes. …I thought if I just listened well, he’d settle for regular sex. But no. He never intended to stop at something so simple.
“Then finish applying it yourself. I’ll just watch.”
“…What?”
“Well, it’s a little embarrassing having someone else apply the gel, right? I’ll only watch, so you do it. Here.”
Kang Juhyuk has always been this kind of man. He doesn’t just want my body. He enjoys watching me break, feel ashamed, fall apart and tremble. I want to ask why, but the reason is obvious. …Even if it’s not because of me, he got fired because of my dad. So he’s taking it out on me. That piece of trash…
“You have to apply it well or it’ll hurt more, so do it thoroughly.”
“…”
Unable to let that trash touch my dirty place, I swallow my humiliation and pick up what he tossed me. A white container. Something written in English. A LOEVE RA…. For a moment I read it as “love” and almost gave up completely, but—
“What are you reading so carefully? It’s the one they gave us at the store earlier. They said to apply it until the swelling goes down.”
“…Huh?”
…Looking closely, it’s aloe. I’d forgotten because of my sister and that crazy woman, but the clerk’s words I’d only half-heard now come back to me. I was too embarrassed and distracted at the time…
“It’s nothing weird, so apply it. …Who’s going to fuck you? I wouldn’t fuck you right after waxing either. You’d get inflamed. Our Haeun needs to wear swimsuits from now on, after all.”
“…”
“If you’re embarrassed, I’ll give you a pillow so you can cover your eyes. Apply it well. You know your own body better than I do, don’t you?”
“Damn it… Haah. …Give me the pillow.”
“Here.”
The curse rises to my throat, but I swallow it and spread the aloe over my hand. Starting from my slightly dried-out sex… I carefully apply it all the way to my anus, over every sore spot. Showing him this shameful scene makes my head spin, but—
“…Haah, I’m done applying it. Now stop…”
“What do you mean stop? You haven’t done anything yet.”
“Hey… you…”
…When I see him casually holding his phone toward my sex like it’s the most natural thing in the world, my head doesn’t just spin—it goes completely white. So that’s what he meant by taking pictures. I knew it, but…