Filming (2)
I hugged the blanket tight and stretched my right arm toward the ceiling, letting out a long sigh. …Another day passed without any major incidents. When was the last time I saw my brother, anyway? Two weeks ago? Three? It hadn’t quite been a month, but it felt like two had dragged by. The stash of treasures I’d collected was starting to lose its power. I’d already gone through every photo from the first time my brother fucked me, along with all the videos we’d taken afterward. And watching regular AVs? After learning what real pleasure tasted like, they did nothing for me anymore. The only one who could truly fill me was Juhyuk oppa. The dildo I kept hidden at home was neither warm nor did it twitch, so it wasn’t fun at all. Holding the blanket close and calling him on the phone was far more enjoyable. Even that, though, was starting to feel insufficient.
I’d considered using the excuse of visiting Jia’s place to see him somehow. But even for me, bringing it up after that huge fight at the pension felt awkward. If I apologized first, I wasn’t even sure what I’d done wrong. It would be nice if he apologized first, but he didn’t seem like he was in any state to do that. So the only thing I could do was pretend to go to the convenience store every night, scouting the area. Just in case, I carried a personal alarm and a self-defense stun gun in my pocket, and I photographed every car parked on the shoulder. From a safe distance, pretending to be on a call, I’d snap pictures of license plates. After patrolling like that for about a week, I finally noticed one car that kept circling near my house. A pitch-black sedan with extremely dark window tinting. It was there every single night, whether it was a weekday or weekend. For someone who supposedly lived around here, it was suspicious—there were plenty of parking lots nearby. The fact that it was always parked on the shoulder was odd, and its position gave a perfect zoomed-in view of our house’s parking area. Worst of all, whenever I tried to circle around and approach it from the opposite direction, it would vanish like a ghost. I had no concrete proof, but my gut said it was almost certainly a paparazzo. How the hell was I supposed to shake them off? How long were they planning to tail me?
I agonized over it for a long time before realizing they probably wouldn’t leave until they got their scoop. Of course, if I held out longer they might eventually disappear. But before that happened, I felt like I was going to die from loneliness. So with the resolve to offer up some flesh, I got dressed and stepped outside.
“Ah, it’s cold…”
Summer hadn’t fully left yet, but the night air carried the scent of autumn. Click, click. Wearing a mask, a hat pulled low, and fake glasses with no lenses, I walked down the street looking blatantly suspicious and scanned my surroundings. …Sure enough, the black sedan was still watching me from afar. Pretending not to notice the gaze, I slightly lowered my mask, put an old, half-empty electronic cigarette in my mouth, and inhaled vapor for the first time in ages.
“Sssip… Hooo… Kgh, kgh… Haa…”
…It really tastes like shit. Feeling my head grow fuzzy, I coughed a few times and took another drag of the nasty vapor. I couldn’t even remember why I’d started smoking this crap, but after a few more pulls I’d gotten somewhat used to it and could inhale without coughing. I made sure to exhale the vapor at angles that would show up clearly on camera, then went back inside, changed clothes, and waited a bit. I swapped the glasses for sunglasses, changed the color of my hat and mask, put on a wig, and stepped out again to check if the car that had been staring holes through me was still there.
…They finally went home. What persistent bastards. Of course, logically the car probably belonged to the company and the people rotated shifts. Silently praising the reporters who’d suffered for weeks just to catch one exclusive photo of an idol smoking, I called a taxi for the first time in months and boldly sat in the back seat.
The driver ahjussi seemed overly curious, so I made it as obvious as possible that I was annoyed. I had him drop me off near oppa’s place, then cautiously looked around in case any reporters were lurking nearby. After all, it wasn’t just oppa who lived here—Jia did too. But I realized that wandering around in this suspicious outfit was even more suspicious, so I walked confidently toward where oppa was.
I rode the elevator all the way up to the highest floor. When I finally reached the front door of the apartment where my sister and oppa lived, my heart pounded so hard it felt dangerous. I was finally going to see him. Would he get mad that I came secretly? No, he’d still welcome me. He’d scold me a little, then greet me like always. …But what if he was already asleep because he was tired? Would I have to stand here forever? Maybe I should’ve contacted him first. My mind raced with all kinds of thoughts as I pressed the doorbell.
“…What the.”
Oppa came out in his pajamas, scratching the back of his neck as he greeted me. …He looked tired, but it was really cute. Even in sleepwear, he couldn’t hide those muscles. I froze, lost in thought, until I realized he was staring at me suspiciously and quickly pulled down my sunglasses.
“Hehe… Tomorrow’s the weekend, so I snuck out.”
“…Hey.”
The moment oppa saw my eyes, he seemed to confirm who I was. He let out a low voice and urgently pulled me inside. Feeling his thick fingers for the first time in ages felt so welcome that I tightly gripped his hand and beamed at him. Juhyuk oppa must have found it ridiculous, because he let out a deep sigh, pulled off my hat and wig, and looked down at me with an exasperated gaze.
“There are reporters tailing you. What were you thinking?”
“I checked that they’d gone home first?”
“How did you even notice that?”
“…I showed them what they wanted, and they left.”
“Hey.”
“Ehehe…”
His face looked troubled, like he really couldn’t stop me. Seeing that, I felt strangely excited. I threw off my mask and burrowed into his arms. Even though he scolded me with his words, he didn’t push me away. The warmth of his embrace was so comforting that my eyes grew slightly misty. I wiped them on his pajama top and kept smiling up at him, rubbing my cheek against him again and again.
“…Didn’t you miss me, oppa?”
“I did.”
“Then it’s fine. …We’re together now.”
When I spoke in a slightly trembling voice, oppa let out a helpless breath, stroked my hair, and gave me permission to act as spoiled as I wanted. It felt so warm and grateful that I hugged him tightly and stood there for a long time, acting cute and clingy over and over. Only after I’d inhaled enough of his scent to feel satisfied did I finally pull away, take off my shoes, and step inside the house.
“…Is sis asleep?”
“She’s out cold.”
Hearing that my sister had fallen asleep first, I felt both disappointment and relief at the same time. I walked into the kitchen like it was my own home, made the same coffee I always drank, and sat down at the dining table.
“How many times did you do it that she’s knocked out like that?”
“We didn’t do anything today. She went out to meet a friend and came back completely drained.”
“…Really? Looking at all her fan cams, I can imagine what she did afterward.”
“I didn’t film today.”
“Hmm… I see.”
I sipped the lukewarm coffee I’d mixed with cold water, quietly hiding my delight that oppa was still full of energy today. No matter how tired my sister was, if she knew I was here she’d force herself awake and try to share him. Tonight, oppa would be my dildo only. And I would be his onahole only. Since sis had monopolized him all this time, it was only fair that I got to monopolize him tonight. With that thought, I casually undid one button on my top.
“I sweated a bit coming here… Should I shower?”
“You probably showered before coming anyway.”
“Ah, but you like the smell of my sweat, right?”
“…I like the smell of your skin, not really sweat.”
“But you always loved the photos I sent after schedules when I was drenched in sweat.”
“That’s because I like you after a schedule, not because I like the smell of sweat.”
My first thought was that it was all the same thing. But since oppa was a bit of a germaphobe, I decided to let it go. Even the coffee I was drinking now had been in the exact same spot since the first time we met. Of course, for someone like that he licked all over pretty enthusiastically, but whatever. I guess it was because I was a pure, clean idol. I stared at him. Even though he acted cool with his mouth, it was obvious he had zero intention of refusing. I downed the rest of the coffee, stood up from the chair, and flopped face-down onto the sofa.
“Then I’m going to sleep… It was really tiring coming here so late.”
“…Suit yourself.”
“Are you really going to let me sleep? You can’t touch me, okay?”
Pop, pop. I undid the remaining buttons one by one, adjusting my posture so that the pink camisole and bra underneath were visible, then closed my eyes. Oppa set down my sunglasses and hat somewhere, then slowly approached the sofa, sat down gently, and placed my head on his thigh.
“…It’s kind of high.”
“Sorry my thighs are so thick.”
It felt like my neck was slightly bent. Since oppa’s thighs were so massive, I honestly didn’t find it very comfortable. Still, having my hair stroked felt amazing.
“How were you planning to get back after coming all the way here?”
“Um… by threatening Jia?”
“…Have you two made up?”
“No. Not at all.”
“You should. She looked pretty unstable too.”
“…I know. But it’s not like I can say anything about it.”
Enjoying his stroking, I naturally slipped my hand into his pants pocket, pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and started browsing. I sent the various lewd photos he’d taken with my sister to my Telegram, saved the self-display photos he took after working out, and dug through every corner of his indecent private life. The fact that he didn’t even care surprised me, so I searched even more obsessively. When I opened Twitter, a flood of erotic photos popped up immediately. …Not that they could be lewder than what was on my own phone. I scrolled through looking for any plays I might use tonight, when a very familiar wallpaper caught my eye and I froze.
“…Is this sis?”
“No.”
“That’s our wallpaper. That exact wallpaper.”
I stretched out my hand to point at the wall of the apartment, then shoved the phone toward him. Oppa made a slightly troubled face, shook his head, took the phone, fiddled with it a few times, and handed it back.
“Haeun doesn’t post stuff like that on Twitter. She sells it for money.”
“Then it’s just a coincidence…”
“It’s not.”
The phone I received back was filled with heavily edited photos that bordered on excessive. Black hair, breasts bigger than mine, face completely hidden, skin so airbrushed it was impossible to tell if it looked good or bad. The exposure wasn’t even that high, but the photos somehow looked incredibly erotic. As I stared at them, I wondered what kind of face was hidden behind the blur. Then the white-scratched-out face slowly came back to life in my mind, and the most familiar friend I knew began to fill in that empty space.
“…Is this Jia?”
“Maybe.”
“…”
The way oppa answered with “maybe.” …He didn’t deny it. Hearing that, I instinctively realized who the owner of those borderline-dangerous tweets was. Only then did I finally understand just how broken she had become.