Dopamine (2)
I never wanted to recall what happened that day again. To sum it up in one word…, it was chaotic. Even while eating, they kept biting and poking at each other—it was absolute mayhem, and Hinami was fawning over Kang Juhyuk with such sickening devotion that it felt like she was determined to leave no room for anyone else to intervene. I had no intention of getting involved in that mess anyway.
“Ha…”
After dinner in that suffocating atmosphere, I went to bed early and managed to slip back home before sunrise. My unchanged bed felt so welcoming that I collapsed onto the blankets, almost tearing up.
…Come to think of it, I have a schedule today too. The weekend had been confiscated by Kang Juhyuk. Even during the off-season, there was far too much to do the moment I woke up. No matter how many years I’d been in the industry, I couldn’t stop practicing, and even outside of promotional periods, producing content for fan service was mandatory. I had to film daily life too, and in the process, I couldn’t let it show that things were strained with Hinami, nor could I let anyone notice I had worries of my own…
…Ha. Maybe floating around in the swimming pool without a single thought had been better after all. While those two were noisily going at it in the room, the time I’d secretly slipped in alone had at least been quiet. Not that it was comfortable, though.
“…Huh?”
While I was lying face-down on the bed letting out a sigh, I heard the door lock beep and someone walk in. For a split second I tensed, wondering if it was a thief or stalker, but when I grabbed my phone to turn on the flashlight, I saw a DM notification.
…Right. Not many people know the password to my place.
I tossed the phone—still in sleep mode—onto the bed and kicked open my bedroom door to greet the uninvited guest.
“What do you want?”
“I left something behind. I told you to take it, but you weren’t answering your phone.”
“…Give it here.”
In his hands were a set of clothes—top and bottom—and my swimsuit. Well, not exactly mine. It was the one Hinami had borrowed.
…At least there were no underwear to return. Did I even need to give these back? The clothes were cheap new ones anyway, and the swimsuit wasn’t mine to begin with.
“Stop leaving things behind so carelessly and start keeping track of your stuff.”
“…Ha. Fine, just give them.”
“Here.”
In the dark house, the only light came from the entranceway. I maintained as much politeness as possible while he casually tossed each piece of clothing at me. I didn’t bother hiding my disgusted expression, shoved the clothes into the laundry basket, crossed my arms, and blocked the doorway.
“…If you’re done, please leave.”
“Not yet.”
“What else is there?”
“Let me crash here for a bit.”
“…What?”
…Another ridiculous request. What was he plotting this time? What could he possibly want from me that he had to show up at dawn on a Monday?
“Haeun’s probably asleep. If I go in now and wake her, it’ll be a pain. I’m too tired to sleep in the car again, so I’ll just nap on the couch for a while.”
“…If that’s the case, you should’ve just gone to Hinami’s place.”
“Then who’s going to take you home?”
“You could’ve dropped me off first, then taken Hinami.”
“That won’t work. You know how weird it would look if I were alone with Hinami near her place. It probably wouldn’t get caught, but there’s no need to take unnecessary risks.”
“…”
What he said wasn’t wrong, but it irritated me how he was trying to stick around with that excuse. …Irritated, and scared. Kang Juhyuk had barged into my home so naturally, completely confident that I wouldn’t be able to lift a finger against him.
“…I don’t have a spare pillow, so figure it out yourself.”
Once he’d made up his mind to stay, there was no way to kick him out. At least he wasn’t forcing me to sleep with him, so I decided to endure it for now. …His reason wasn’t that strange either. If he went in at this hour and woke my sister… she’d probably pounce on him. No matter how virile he was, after spending the entire day rolling around with Hinami, he had to be exhausted. Hinami’s legs had been shaking when she got out of the car, after all. I didn’t know why he’d gone that far when he had a schedule today.
“Ah, do you have a blanket by any chance?”
“…I’ll get you one. Use it if you want.”
“Thanks.”
Just like he’d thrown the clothes at me, I threw the blanket at him and turned sharply to head back to my room. Even if I tried to sleep now, I’d only get two or three hours before having to wake up again. Still, it was better than lying awake and wallowing in exhaustion. I pushed every thought of him out of my mind, closed my eyes, and tried to steal a short nap—hoping that when I woke up, Kang Juhyuk would have disappeared from the couch on his own.
The alarm never went off. I must have accidentally turned it off along with sleep mode earlier. Instead, a soft ringing sound echoed. The caller wasn’t my sister. It was someone from the agency.
“…Hello?”
“Oh, Jia. Were you already up?”
“Yes.”
It was the Agency Director’s calm, steady voice. His tone was the same as always, but the timing of the call was suspicious. We were going to see each other at the company soon anyway. Why call at this hour…?
“Ah, it’s nothing major. There’s a rumor article going around online, so I wanted to talk to you first.”
“…Yes?”
“Well… you have a brother-in-law, right?”
“…Yes.”
As expected, the title I dreaded most slipped from the director’s mouth.
“Ah, it’s not a big deal. Your older sister… has been working really hard lately. So someone dug around and apparently found your brother-in-law too.”
“…Yes.”
“They started spreading nonsense on the community boards saying you might be involved with him, and some media outlet picked it up and turned it into an article. I’m planning to get the article taken down, but…”
“Director, don’t they usually get a statement before writing an article…?”
“…Not this kind of tabloid.”
…And of course, it was the kind of scandal I hated most.
“…Do they have any evidence?”
“All they did was dig up your personal information online and write that you go to your brother-in-law’s gym.”
“I do go there sometimes, but…”
“That’s fine. You’re practically family, after all. So, is your brother-in-law nearby by any chance? I need to coordinate with him too. We have to respond legally to the media.”
“…He’s downstairs.”
He wasn’t downstairs. …He was sleeping on our couch. If he woke up now and came looking for me, that rumor wouldn’t be a rumor anymore—it would become fact.
“He’s downstairs?”
“Yes. He’s probably with my sister, unless something came up.”
“…If you don’t have a schedule, could you come in together?”
“Huh? …Ah.”
I was just about to wrap up the call when the director asked if I could bring him to the company. My mind went blank. At the same time, the door opened quietly, and he walked in—scratching his head, finger pressed to his lips—until he reached my bed. He crouched down and nodded at me.
“…I’ll ask. I think it should be fine.”
“Good. He used to be somewhat famous himself, so it’s better to shut down the rumors quickly.”
“…Yes.”
“Anyway, sorry for calling at this hour.”
“No, I’m the one who should apologize for causing trouble with that article…”
“It’s not your fault. Those damn reporters are the problem.”
After a few more exchanges with the director’s calm, blunt cursing, I ended the call with both hands gripping the phone. The moment the line disconnected, he rubbed the back of his neck, tilted his head up, and opened his mouth—which had been tightly shut until now.
“…What kind of article came out?”
“…Yes.”
“Did the paparazzi get photos or something?”
“No. …Someone just made wild guesses about the gym and some shady reporter ran with it.”
“…That’s a relief.”
At the news that there was no evidence, he let out a long sigh and lowered his head, still scratching his hair in relief. …Seeing a man who had been so crazed with pleasure looking this relieved felt so awkward that I didn’t know how to respond.
“Ah, shit. I knew weirdos were digging into my personal info, but I didn’t think they’d drag you into it.”
“What?”
“There were some of Haeun’s fans who were dead set on finding her boyfriend. I never planned to hide anything, so I didn’t really care, but I didn’t expect them to connect it to you. …Hinami would’ve been one thing.”
“…The director said something similar.”
“Sorry.”
Even his straightforward apology left me unsure how to react. Should I treat him coldly like usual? Or should I just obediently do whatever he said, like when he blackmailed me? I awkwardly clenched my hovering hands and tried to read his expression, which was buried between his knees. I couldn’t even tell if that attitude was genuine or just another mask.
“Let’s wash up. They want me at the company anyway.”
“…Yes.”
But the more I watched him speak so seriously while holding his forehead and turning away, the clearer it became that I would never be able to read his true intentions. Whether that cold, hardened expression came from actually feeling threatened or because he was suppressing his emotions and acting—I had no way of knowing.
“Ha… Shit. It’s annoying being somewhat famous. When you search my name, my face and personal details pop up everywhere.”
While he grumbled into the air and continued muttering to himself, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his gaze. I picked up the phone I’d left on the bed and casually searched his name on the community boards. Just as he said, photos of the former baseball player who had once shone brightly were everywhere. …And right there was the exact tabloid article the director had mentioned, dirtying my screen.
…What a trashy article. I’d been dragged to a pension before, but I’d never once hung out with him at the gym. Staring at the article I wanted to erase with a rubber eraser, I let out a long sigh just like him and stood up. As I rubbed my bleary eyes in the rising sunlight and wondered how to bury that media outlet, I paused.
“…”
Looking at Kang Juhyuk’s back as he crouched in my room, sighing heavily, I realized the article was far tamer than reality. “Dating a former famous baseball player” was nothing compared to the much more sensational truth: spending the night with my older sister’s boyfriend and my groupmate’s sex friend.