Bleeding Submission
He, who had threatened to send the video to the manager I despised, briefly covered me with the top and bra he had torn off right after filming. Then he draped an arm over my shoulder and squeezed my breast hard through the fabric. Yet the humiliation was nothing compared to the terror that still gripped my heart.
The man watched me shake uncontrollably, picked up the water bottle he had set on the car roof, and poured it over my already dark top, soaking my t-shirt through.
“Lucky it’s not a white tee. Right?”
“…”
Even in an empty parking lot, the bright lights made me feel like anyone could stare at me. The shame I had pushed aside came rushing back. Unlike before, when his body had hidden me, there was no shield left at all now.
A thick finger brushed my lips, which trembled harder with every second. He yanked me against his side and pulled me out from behind the car.
“You look hot. Want to go back to the convenience store? I’ll buy you ice cream.”
“…Please take me home.”
“If you want to go, walk up yourself. Who knows what that bastard will do with the video he filmed? Jerk off to it, get pissed and spread it everywhere, or lose his mind and come looking for us. But hey, your face wasn’t in it, so it should be fine, right?”
“…Please drive me. I’m begging you…”
Unable to fight the fear, I pleaded in the most obedient voice I could manage. He was not the kind of person who would pretend our ugly history had never happened. Still, out here in the open there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t run. …And I couldn’t submit to him either.
“Ha, ah…”
Inside the empty elevator he ran his hand over my wet t-shirt. The blunt pressure of his fingers through the bra was humiliating, but I couldn’t slap it away. Pretending the contact didn’t bother me, I stared fixedly at the rising floor numbers.
Fortunately they kept climbing without pause until we reached the floor right above his apartment.
“…”
I tried to step out first, but he blocked me and led the way, dragging me all the way to the front door. He stood there, turned, took my hand, and pressed it to the lock.
My breath caught. I looked up at him, but the silent smile on his face made me bite my lip and quickly enter the code.
“What does this mean?”
“…It doesn’t mean anything.”
It looked meaningless, but it was my birthday. As a phone pattern it would be 741 for 1 and 25846 for 4. I hoped he wouldn’t figure it out, but the meaningful smile on his face told me that hope was pointless.
…At this point, even if he asked outright I would have no choice but to tell him.
“Don’t change it. It’s annoying to memorize a new one.”
“…Yes.”
Changing the password no longer mattered. The moment I defied him, my reputation would be dragged through the dirt. Thinking I could simply quit being an idol had been nothing but arrogance. I wasn’t bold enough to throw everything away.
Even now I was so scared I could barely breathe. Would this man rape me? Would the manager release my video in a fit of rage? The anxiety threatened to drive me insane.
“I’m going to use the bathroom, so change your clothes first. That’s Haeun’s outfit anyway.”
“…Yes.”
He left me standing there and stepped inside first. Convinced I wouldn’t run, he shut himself in the bathroom and left me free.
Finally alone, I hugged myself, panting, and walked to the living-room drawer with no plan at all. I started rummaging through it blindly.
“…”
With the sound of running water from the sink as background noise, I searched desperately for anything I could use to protect myself.
I had no intention of killing him. But without something in my hand I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist no matter what he did. That was what terrified me.
My hands shook violently as I dug through the drawer until my fingers closed around something. I pulled it out and stared.
A utility knife with no trace of rust.
I gazed at the blade glinting in the moonlight, then slid it shut with a click. Holding it in my right hand—
“Ah…”
Heavy footsteps. I spun around in shock. He had taken off his shirt and was striding toward me, eyes locked on mine. Instinctively I hid the knife behind my back and scrambled backward while still sitting. My spine hit the wall. There was nowhere left to go.
Kang Juhyuk stopped right in front of me, calmly stepped on my right hand, and took the weapon away.
“If you’re going to do it, at least bring a kitchen knife.”
“…”
I was past fear now. His eerie calm was almost grotesque. He looked straight through my trembling mind, smirked, and pressed the utility knife firmly into my left hand.
“You can cut me. One more scar won’t change anything anyway.”
“Hik…”
I pulled the blade out with a scrape and pressed the tip to the scarred shoulder. The moment the edge touched his skin, the feeling of flesh yielding made breathing impossible. The harder my hand shook, the deeper the blade sank, slicing through the old scar and drawing a thin line of blood.
“What? Scared? It doesn’t even hurt that much.”
“Are you crazy…? Stop. Let go…”
Bright red blood slid slowly down the blade in the moonlight. I panicked completely and tried to push him away, but—
“Yeah, I’m crazy. Retiring now after my shoulder ended up like this.”
“You psycho… haa, haa……”
No matter how much a woman trained, she could never win an arm-wrestling match against a man his size. Watching the blade sink deeper, all strength left me. I couldn’t think anymore.
He stared into my unfocused eyes, slowly stroked my purple hair, then took the knife from my weak grip and tossed it to the floor. He wiped the blood from his shoulder with his thumb and shoved it between my lips. The metallic taste coated my frozen tongue. Then, mocking me for being unable to react or resist, he began ravaging my mouth again.
“Ugh… puhp……”
He tangled my tongue in a vulgar, crushing kiss until the taste of blood was completely overwritten by his scent. I couldn’t resist. Violated by the tip of his tongue, I even lost control of my own breathing.
My limp arm eventually draped over his shoulder. He placed his hand on the nape of my neck. Feeling my gradually steadying breath with his fingers, he pressed his thumb down hard, narrowing my airway.
“Ugh… kuhup……”
The more my soft throat caved, the more labored my breathing became. The survival instinct brought strength back to my exhausted arms. I struggled to push him away, but the resistance only made the wound on his shoulder open wider. Blood streamed down the scar. I couldn’t fight anymore.
Only when I had gone completely rigid did he gently release my tongue. He wiped his bloody hand on his own chest, pulled me to my feet, and locked me in a tight embrace.
“What are you so afraid of? It’s the shoulder you destroyed.”
“No… it’s not…”
“Ah, technically it was your father who destroyed it? Whatever. …Then how much of the blame belongs to you, I wonder.”
I didn’t know anymore. Whether I was at fault. Whether Dad had made a mistake. Whether I should have reported him earlier. I was too exhausted to cry, simply trembling in his arms as he stroked me in a way that made my skin crawl.
His blood-stained hand tangled in my hair. He grabbed my top and stripped it off easily, then removed my bra the same way. Pulling my half-naked body against him, he shared his warmth.
“…Don’t be so scared of me. I’m the one who’s scared of you.”
“What… are you talking about?”
“You can destroy my life whenever you want. You already did it once.”
“That’s…”
The warm body heat and the ice-cold tone didn’t match at all. My heart hammered so hard I couldn’t control it. I ran a hand down my exposed chest, lifted my head, and looked straight into his eyes.
Eyes of a predator excited at the thought of devouring me.
“If that bastard gets arrested, you’ll report me, obviously.”
“I won’t. I won’t do it…”
I spilled lies I had never even considered as a joke.
“You can if you want. My life’s already been ruined once. I’ll just tell myself those few fun months were a dream.”
“No, you… You like my sister. You like Hinami too…”
“…That’s exactly how much I hate you.”
He poured out words I couldn’t help but feel were completely sincere.
“There’s still time before they catch me anyway… What should we do? Should I enjoy you alone, or share you with the others?”
“No! I don’t want that, stop. You promised…”
“…How can I trust you’ll keep any promise?”
His endless malice terrified me completely. My already shaking legs gave out. I leaned my head against his shin, wrapped my arms around his calf, and begged.
“…Please spare me.”
“…Who said I was going to kill you?”
“Please… spare me…”
“You don’t have to say it. I won’t do anything.”
Desperately hoping he would somehow wash away the grudge he held against me, I pressed my forehead to the top of his foot.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
I abandoned my pride, my honor, everything, and prayed that Kang Juhyuk would show me mercy.
“Then I’ll keep my promise, so… sit.”
“…Yes.”
“Hand.”
“…”
I extended my hand. Without any guarantee. Just desperately hoping he would keep his word.