Weakness (5)
Sunday. A day so bright and sunny it was practically blinding. …But these pathetic pitcher bastards. On a day this nice, who knew what they had to be so grumpy about—they were just spitting back every run the batters scraped together.
“Ha, fuck. You’ve got to be kidding me…”
A triple shot straight through the first-base line. Two runners came home just like that, the lead flipped again, and the score sat at 6:7. Top of the fourth and this was the garbage they were serving up. Seriously. Why didn’t this team play defense on the line? Did they have some terminal disease that kicked in the moment they got near first base?
The rage was too much to swallow alone, so I started tapping out another string of curses on Twitter.
“Um… excuse me. Mind if I sit here?”
“Oh, sure. Sorry about that…”
A woman in an extremely suspicious outfit slipped into the seat beside me, tucking her phone into her pocket. What the hell. On a hot day like this, she was wearing a mask that covered half her face, plus sunglasses and a hat pulled down low.
…
She’d come in during the fourth inning, which already felt off, and the longer I stared, the more suspicious she looked. That’s when I noticed it—the familiar violet ponytail swaying behind her baseball cap.
…No way.
“Excuse me, but… aren’t you the person from the gym…?”
“It can’t be…”
…Seo Jia? What was going on with me lately? Why did I keep running into celebrities like this? If I had to bump into one, couldn’t it at least be a male idol?
“Oh, it really is you. You’re the part-timer from the gym, right…?”
“Ah, yes. That’s me…”
I’d been mentally dumping all the pointless anger I’d built up from the game onto poor Seo Jia when she slid her sunglasses down just enough to reveal those sharp, familiar, captivating eyes.
…God, she was so pretty it killed the irritation completely. I’d thought the mask looked big on her, but it turned out she just had a tiny face. Her beauty inspired awe more than envy.
Still. Why would an idol come to a baseball stadium alone…?
“What a coincidence. Are you a fan of our team too?”
“Ah, yes, yes. I’ve been a fan since I was little…”
“Me too. Because of my dad. …Do you know him?”
“Ah…. Oh. Yes. I do. The general manager…”
“That’s right.”
I’d harbored a strange suspicion for a second, but of course—this woman was the daughter of our team’s GM. It would be weirder if she weren’t a fan. Once I thought of it that way, the brief doubt vanished, replaced by a subtle sense of kinship.
…It was a team with so few fans that attending games in peace was actually pretty nice, but it was also a bit lonely. Most of my few friends didn’t watch baseball or they cheered for other teams. Even when my uncle got two tickets like this, one was always wasted.
“But this really is such a coincidence. Jia…. Ah. …Is it okay if I use your name?”
“It’s fine. Oh, by the way, what’s your name?”
“Me? I’m… Hwang Suah…”
“Ah, so it’s Suah.”
“Yes, yes, that’s right.”
She seemed to feel a similar sense of camaraderie. Unlike her curt attitude at the gym, she sat beside me and openly showed friendliness.
…Still, even though there were empty seats all around us, did she have to sit right next to me? But then again, she was a woman, not a man, so…
“It’s been a while since I had a day off, so I came out to cheer them on. Running into someone I know, like you, Suah, feels like a real stroke of luck today.”
“…It’d be nice if the game was a little luckier too.”
“Huh? Ah… yeah, I guess. They were winning when I got here.”
Somehow, despite the slight awkwardness, we’d built a decent inner closeness. Sitting side by side, I glared at the scoreboard, hating the garbage pitching staff that had already given up another run.
…If this woman wasn’t next to me, I would’ve cursed them out loud. But it was hard to do that in front of someone who was aware of my presence.
“Well, still. The batters are hitting well today, so it’s not like they can’t come back…. …Ah, damn it.”
I killed the devil inside me, put on the mask of a pure, baseball-loving female college student, and kept talking. But watching those cancerous lumps walk another batter and load the bases, I let out heavy sigh after heavy sigh.
If you’re going to do that, just throw it down the middle and get hit already. What are they doing, getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year? Seriously. They’re not rookies—these guys have experience, so why are they choking in the fourth inning like this…
…I really miss the boss. Even if it was only for one season, he always came through in moments like this and shut them down reliably.
“…Um, do you have anything to drink?”
“Sorry? Oh, something to drink?”
“Yeah. It’s hot, so if it’s okay… some water…”
“Here.”
“Ah, thank you.”
Just as the inner devil was about to burst out halfway, she spoke up, helping me swallow the curse. I handed her the iced water I’d stashed in my bag.
…For some reason, she seemed much more polite and timid than I’d imagined. The Seo Jia I knew was the type to wear sunglasses pushed up on her head, cross her legs, rest her chin on her hand, and look incredibly cool. Seeing her sit quietly and sip the water I gave her created a bit of cognitive dissonance.
…Reality really was different from fantasy, huh? I felt a little bad for having those weird delusions about her because of the boss…
“Phew…. Thank you. My throat was so dry.”
“No, no, it’s nothing. Ah…!”
…Haa. Got it.
As I took the water bottle back from her, there was a loud crack! and I watched a baseball flying at terrifying speed get sucked into a glove at the last possible second.
…Fuck, seriously. They just can’t make anything look easy.
The painfully long inning finally ended. I chugged the water I’d gotten back, trying to calm my boiling insides. During the changeover, I glanced sideways at the woman next to me, who was fiddling with her phone.
…
I knew it was rude, but she was so openly messing with her phone. If there was anything private or dangerous on there, she probably wouldn’t do that, right? So it was probably fine…
“Ah.”
As I kept sneaking glances to the side, I spotted a familiar company logo on her phone screen and unconsciously let out a sound.
“…What is it?”
“Nothing. Just… well. Yeah.”
…I play that game too. It’s famous, but it’s a total weeb phone game. Why is someone like you—a world-class social butterfly and queen of the industry—playing it?
“Do you know this game too, Suah?”
“Ah. Well. Yes, I know it…”
“Do you play it?”
“Uh… yeah. A little…”
…But. Whatever the reason, she showed me her account with sparkling eyes behind her sunglasses while holding the game I played, and as a veteran player, I couldn’t suppress the dark desire to teach her everything.
Ah, damn. I hadn’t come all the way to this sacred baseball stadium just to build some trivial connection, but oh well. It’s not like being an idol is that big a deal…
…But. Watching this rage-inducing baseball was bad for my health, so maybe I should help out this newbie for a bit? Hehe….
“Ah, and the character you like, Jia, is getting a rerun next week…”
She was quite a bothersome woman. Unlike the image I’d seen of her before, she talked a lot. Since it was a game I played too, I understood everything, but watching her chatter excitedly was honestly a bit annoying. I wouldn’t say that out loud, though.
“Really? That’s great. I really wanted to try using them…”
“They do come off as charming in the story.”
I had no idea what she was so proud of, but I played along with her strangely puffed-up attitude. Before I knew it, the game had flipped to 15:10 and was almost over. I stared blankly through her sunglasses at the final moments of the nearly finished baseball match.
…Was baseball always a sport with scores this high? I wasn’t sure, but since they were winning, she probably wasn’t feeling too bad either.
“And… …Ah. Seriously…. Can’t we just win cleanly…”
The moment the sound of the bat cracking against the ball reached the ears of the excitedly chattering woman, she reflexively looked toward the fence, let out a deep sigh, and started clutching her thigh.
“There’s still a two-run difference.”
“Yeah, but. It’s just… they keep making it messy with all the balls when they could finish it neatly. It’s frustrating.”
“There’s only one out left, so they’ll win.”
“…”
Unlike her stress-filled reaction, the next batter was struck out with laughable ease, and the game ended amid cheers. The sun hadn’t set yet, but it was late enough to call it evening. I followed her as she brushed off her jeans and stood up, pulling my cap down low to hide my face as we left the stadium.
“Um, Suah.”
“Yes.”
“How old are you? I meant to ask earlier but forgot.”
“…I was born in ’98.”
“Oh, then you’re my unnie. I’m from 2000.”
“…”
I already knew all these trivial personal details, of course. What games she liked. …Where she was sitting while watching the baseball game. She’d posted it all herself on Twitter.
“Actually, adding ‘-ssi’ every time feels really awkward…. …Can I just call you unnie?”
“Uh, well… I don’t mind…”
Unlike her earlier excited chattering, she became strangely soft and shy. Matching her pace, I lightly said, “Yes, Suah unnie.”
…Honestly, it gave me chills. I’d never spoken in that tone in private before.
“…”
But. It was a voice and mannerism I’d honed as a professional. No matter if the other person was the same gender, it wasn’t easy to push away someone like me.
…Half my fans were women, after all. Many fell for the cool image I created, but just as many fell for the gaps I deliberately showed.
“And you can speak casually to me too, unnie.”
“Uhh… um…. …Okay. Got it.”
Listening to my age-appropriate speech, she made a rather sly-looking expression. I analyzed her feelings while following her steps, not knowing where we were headed, and looked for a nearby restaurant.
“Ah, are you hungry, unnie? Let’s get dinner before you go?”
“…Dinner? With you?”
“I gave you all those game tips. I’ll buy. As thanks.”
“Uhh… yeah. Sure. Let’s eat… dinner…”
Since it seemed like we’d successfully gotten closer, and I wouldn’t have time to meet her directly during her schedule, I at least needed to get her contact info. Having private contact with an idol that everyone looks up to for personal reasons was much more fun than I’d expected.
I hope you’ll listen to my story diligently for a while.
…Hwang Suah-ssi.