Resolution
I had a dream.
I already knew the Team Leader had gotten somewhat famous, and that she was beautiful — but watching people even overseas ask to take photos with her still caught me completely off guard.
Even after the mango bingsu, I felt like I could keep eating. They say you end up eating a lot when you travel. My lower belly had gone soft and doughy, and my arms had turned plush; the weight I'd put on was obvious. Only after waving off Yuri unnie's invitation to go get a massage could I finally enjoy some time alone.
I climbed onto the now-somewhat-familiar motorcycle truck and headed back toward the lodging. I still didn't know the roads, but when familiar signs and buildings started to appear, I could tell we were getting close to the hotel.
The bellboy in the hotel lobby spotted me and offered a greeting. The thought that he might actually remember my face left me oddly embarrassed. Suddenly my lower belly cramped, so I ran a translator and asked where the nearest pharmacy was. Once I learned that shops here opened and closed whenever they felt like it, I had the front desk call ahead to check before I set out. Maybe because we were right in the middle of the city, the rough map they'd sketched only made things more confusing. I opened an English map app, pieced it together against the surrounding terrain, and found that a shortcut cutting straight through an alley was the fastest route.
Inside the alley, houses stood in rows with their windows and front doors thrown wide open — people watching TV, eating fruit. At the far end there was a street vendor, and after watching a few people finish a late meal, I finally managed to find the pharmacy.
"One painkiller, please."
My English was awkward, but the pharmacist packed the medicine with practiced ease. I still needed sanitary pads, and the words wouldn't come, so I was about to open the translator again — when my phone suddenly went dead.
It wasn't all that surprising. Careless as I was, I'd dropped the thing so many times the screen had long been cracked every which way.
What I managed to get through body language was a bundle of unfamiliar packaging, but it looked roughly like pads. On the way back I got thoroughly turned around, and I didn't have the courage to ask anyone for directions, so after wandering another thirty minutes or so I finally found the hotel. Looking around here and there hadn't been such a bad experience, though.
The door opened when I tapped the key card, and the wide-open terrace was full of sunlight. I sat out there and put on Lobby Day's Eruption Files. Leaning back in the broad chair, I took a cigarette from the pack. Of course it wasn't mine — it was one of Yuri unnie's leftover smokes. But on a restless day like today, I wanted to try it myself.
"I'm baaack~"
The moment I heard Ayoung unnie's voice, I pretended nothing had happened, slipped the cigarette back into the pack, and welcomed them with a bright, sunny face.
"What were you doing all by yourself?"
I mumbled something vague at Yuri unnie's question and said I'd just been eating fruit in the room. Then I suddenly realized that not a single piece of the refilled fruit had been touched, and my face went scarlet.
"No lying, okay? Promise."
My hand looked so much smaller next to Yuri unnie's that I felt like a little kid. I'd always thought her hands were a bit large for an adult woman, but set against mine it was like I'd wandered into the land of giants — my imagination ran wild.
That was the dream I had.
When I woke, the only thing on my underwear was the chastity cage. It was a hotel, same as the dream — the difference was that this was Korea. Why had I had such a strange dream? My lower belly hurt, and I wondered if yesterday had been too rough, so I checked in the bathroom for any blood. There was no trace of it. By the time I finished showering, checkout was already closing in, and when I turned on my phone it was already eleven in the morning. Today was Friday. The moment I realized I had to go to work, my head started to ache. I was sure I'd carefully folded my clothes over here yesterday, but they were nowhere to be found, which was odd.
On the desk sat a paper bag of clothes that looked newly bought — a bra and pads, panties, white stockings, a tennis skirt, and a white ribbed crop top. The phone rang, notifying me that checkout time was over. I answered as gently as I could, then, with a sense of having no choice, started putting on the underwear. The underwire bra with the pads filled out my silhouette, but when I pressed with my hands I felt a pang of regret that they were fake. And the underwear below couldn't help but disappoint — the chastity cage showed through slightly, so there was no beautiful curve to speak of. Disappointment? Feeling disappointed was somehow a strange emotion. Was I becoming a complete girl, just like in the dream? Maybe so. Even wearing these women's clothes, I didn't feel particularly ashamed — just unfamiliar. If I'd met a girl like this in the past, I definitely would have confessed to her. At that thought, my face flushed a little red.
In my bag were the hormone medications I'd received back then. Were these for men? Or for women? Thinking that, I decided I didn't know and just swallowed the pills. A text came from Ayoung.
There wouldn't be time to stop by home.
Embarrassed by the way people's eyes lingered on me a little, I hurried into the office with quick little steps.
"Oh my, that…"
Ayoung stared at me, not knowing what to do. And I was the same. There were various circumstances — this and that — my head was a mess.
"You're pretty…"
"Pardon?"
"Isn't that why you dressed like this — because you wanted to hear that?"
"I… please don't misunderstand. This is part of the job."
Kwon Ayoung didn't seem entirely normal either, if I was being honest.
"I think I misunderstood you, Doyun. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were this serious about the work."
"Th-that's not… anyway, thank you."
The way her sharp edges softened happened in an instant. She didn't even put up a fuss like before, so I was able to work comfortably.
Team Leader Yuri came in and tossed out a comment.
"You look pretty. Keep dressing cute from now on."
No matter how I answered it would feel weird, so I kept my mouth shut.
"I acknowledge Doyun. So, unnie. Company dinner tonight! Okay?"
Ayoung's conclusion was strange.
We entered a high-end sushi restaurant I'd never been to before.
"Don't be shy — eat whatever you want."
The revolving plates were lined with all kinds of glossy sushi, gleaming with oil.
I'd never been somewhere like this, so I had no idea what to do. Ayoung mixed green tea for me and even told me what to eat first. The thick flounder sushi was rich with fat, springing to life with a chewy bounce in my mouth.
"This is so good. I've never eaten anything like this before!"
"Yerim, try this too."
Orange roe was carefully perched on top of a raw shrimp. I brushed on some soy sauce and popped it into my mouth. The plump shrimp meat came apart piece by piece, and the uni on top melted away into a rich cream.
They say when you eat something truly delicious, the shock can make your brain faint. It was so good that for a moment I couldn't hear a single sound around me. It felt like drowning in a sea of flavor.
I took a sip of green tea. The cold green tea cleanly refreshed my palate.
"It's so good! I think I'm going to cry, seriously!"
Ayoung laughed playfully.
"Unnie, I think we need to feed this one good food more often."
Mackerel pressed sushi. Herring sushi. Squid sushi. Seaweed with sweet shrimp and uni. Cucumber maki. An enormous futomaki. Egg sushi. Eel sushi. All of it was so, so good. I felt like my stomach would burst.
"Yerim, there's tuna here too."
"Yes!~~~"
I followed the Team Leader up to the rooftop again. While we'd been eating, I'd been turning over the words I wanted to say, and now I brought them out. Yuri unnie smiled quietly.
"So? Now that you've experienced it once."
"I'm not sure. My life has always just been dragged along by other people. But this time, I really chose it myself."
"No regrets?"
"No."
"I'm not going to just coddle you and be gentle."
"If it gets weird… I'll run."
The memory of yesterday's rough treatment rose softly, and my lower belly thudded. Honestly, I was a little afraid too.
"I'll try for now… and someday. I want to date you properly."
I was already deeply fallen for this dangerous woman.
"Hmm? I've seen plenty of kids who said that. If you want to be my partner, thrash and struggle like your life depends on it. Beyond simply being a partner — show me what you can do at the company too."
Her cigarette had burned down nearly to the filter. When Yuri moved to head downstairs, I said I wanted a little more air.
Yesterday's feeling — being handled roughly, degraded, gaslit — it completely overlaid the memory of when I'd been scammed by voice phishing. What I'd felt in the midst of that pain was ecstasy.
My brain was already a little broken. A little more broken wouldn't change much.
When I returned to my desk, a suction device I'd never seen before was sitting on top of it. Just then Ayoung was coming back with coffee.
"Ah, Doyun — no, no, Yerim. Unnie left that for you. She wants you to use it for a while and test it out."
"What is this?"
"It's a sample from a partner company — a nipple suction device for breast development. Just wear it all day."
And then work at the company began in earnest.