Chapter 30
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Translator: Wjin
Chapter: 30
Chapter Title: Sorry for Not Hugging You More
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Thud...
Hayden's legs gave out, and he collapsed into his seat.
Luckily, the sofa was right there beneath him, so nothing bad happened, but his mind was still a whirlwind of chaos.
"H-How...!"
Hayden couldn't believe his eyes.
The face hidden beneath the mask was one he never could have imagined, even in his dreams.
"Am I dreaming right now?"
Throwing caution to the wind, Hayden pinched his cheek hard enough to nearly tear the skin.
Of course, it hurt like hell.
Even after letting go, the stinging pain lingered on his flushed cheek.
"I hope this isn't a dream. If it is, I'd curse God more than anyone."
With the voice modulator off, it was unmistakably Johann's voice.
Hayden's eyes widened even further, and with a trembling finger, he pointed at Johann.
"You're truly... Johann?"
"Yes, Father. I'm your real son, Johann."
"Then why come to your father looking like that? What is all this? Alpha? Why that fake name...? No, this whole... thing..."
Hayden's mind was a tangled mess.
No matter how he tried to piece it together, nothing made sense.
'Maybe he's just a fake who looks like Johann... Wait, then where's my real son?'
As Hayden glared at him with eyes full of hostility, Johann let out a sigh.
He could guess what his father was thinking.
"It's not a disguise or a fake. If you need proof, there's that thing only you and I know about..."
Johann trailed off, letting out a wry chuckle with heavy eyes as he bowed his head.
"Sorry. That never happened, did it? No secret just between you and me..."
Hayden's expression darkened.
As Johann said, there had never been any such secret between them.
"Whether you're really Johann or not, there must be a reason you orchestrated this situation. Tell me, what is your goal?"
Johann sat across from Hayden, meeting his gaze steadily.
"Everything I say from now on is the truth. But whether you believe it is entirely up to you, Father. I..."
From that moment, Johann laid bare everything he'd been through—from the reckless, debauched days as a wastrel, losing his family and house, falling into slavery, being conscripted as a war slave for the Empire, encountering a fateful opportunity, and rising to become one of its heroes, right up to his betrayal and grim end.
Hayden listened in silence, even holding his breath at the tale of his son's final betrayal. When Johann reached the part about his regression and the path he'd walked since, Hayden finally exhaled.
"Hoo... That's... Even if I put myself in your shoes, it's hard to ask you to believe it."
"It's fine if you don't believe me. What I have to do won't change anyway..."
"Then the day you regressed was two years ago, April 12th. Is that right?"
"...!"
Johann's eyes went wide in shock as he stared at Hayden.
He'd only mentioned regressing recently, not the exact date.
Yet Hayden had nailed it perfectly, so of course he was stunned.
"H-How did you...?"
Johann quickly reviewed his memories since regressing, then let out a wry laugh and leaned back against the chair.
"It was Willard. Your spy planted on me..."
"Don't take it too hard. He's been my man since before you were born. Though, from about a year ago, his regular reports say you've gone back to your old self—so I guess he's fully yours now."
"Then why pretend not to know? You could've avoided the humiliation of bowing your head to House Rapelt or House Avangardi yourself."
Hayden met Johann's eyes squarely.
"I figured there was a reason you were hiding it from everyone, even family, and acting like a completely different person. I decided to play along until you told me. I never imagined it'd be a story this shocking."
Johann let out a bittersweet chuckle.
"I thought you understood a little... but Father, you're still beyond me. Why trust a worthless son like this so much?"
"No parent abandons their child. Your mother and brother believed in you even more than I did—that someday you'd end your wandering and stand tall as a proper man. But..."
Was it to hide his reddening eyes?
Hayden sank deep into the sofa, gazing at the ceiling as he murmured softly.
"I never imagined a future where you were left all alone in such tragedy. I'm sorry..."
In that moment, Johann felt something hot surge up from within.
He didn't hold it back, letting it spill out hot from his lips.
"The one who should apologize is me! You were the honorable lord of proud House Crimford, fighting for our country to the end—a noble earl. And a father who sacrificed himself to save his foolish son! If only I'd come to my senses sooner back then..."
Crunch!
Johann clenched his fist until blood welled up, biting his lip.
Tears of regret from that day fell endlessly from his bowed head.
"Johann, you're here now so you won't repeat that regret, aren't you? I'm proud of who you are right now. Even if others don't see it, knowing my son is the kind of man who shatters his bones to protect his family, his people, and his country—that's my greatest honor and pride. So lift your head. You're greater than anyone right now."
Hayden approached Johann, pulling his son into a tight embrace and patting his back.
It was the first time.
Receiving praise instead of rebuke from his father.
It was the first time.
Being held and comforted by his father.
It was the first time.
Knowing his father's arms were so vast and warm...
Johann cried.
Sobbing like a child.
Crying out through his tears.
Sorry, thank you, I love you...
Hayden simply held his son silently, accepting the long-buried emotions and offering comfort.
Once Johann had composed himself, he sat back down.
"Sorry. For showing such an ugly side so suddenly..."
"Nonsense. It was the most honest and wonderful version of you I've seen lately. But let me ask one thing. You said the Empire's 'Shadows' are active not just in this kingdom but across the continent?"
"Yes. From commoners to merchants, nobles, even royalty... They've been infiltrated by the Empire over a century or even centuries. Generations deep, impossible to spot on the surface. But their goal is clear: obey the Emperor and lay the groundwork for the Empire's revival."
"Even you can't distinguish them?"
Johann nodded gravely.
"Even if you luckily find one, the Shadows operate in isolated cells—they don't know each other's identities. They only obey orders from their direct superior, and they don't even know who that is."
"Then why not report this to His Highness and launch a kingdom-wide spy hunt? Rooting out the ones hiding here could nip the chaos in the bud."
"Father, do you know of Rudran Kingdom?"
"I've heard of it. But why bring up Rudran all of a sudden?"
"After I became the Empire's hero, I met a knight who was once captain of Rudran's royal guard. He told me that if their king had been just a bit more foolish, at least they wouldn't have handed the kingdom to the Empire on a platter. At least they could've fought properly once."
"What does that mean? Did Rudran surrender to the Empire willingly?"
Johann nodded before replying.
"Rudran's king was clever. According to the knight, he'd caught on to spies in the kingdom—though he didn't know they were the Empire's Shadows. So he launched a massive purge. Guess what happened?"
"It failed."
"They caught zero spies but sowed suspicion among nobles and royalty. Factions turned on each other, even within the same side. It created the perfect conditions for the Shadows—piles of kindling ready for civil war. Rudran erupted in infighting earlier than most kingdoms and collapsed on its own."
"Hmm..."
Hayden's face hardened as he let out a low hum.
He couldn't dismiss Rudran's fate as unrelated to their own Bellovan Kingdom.
"Rudran's king thought purging spies would save his country before they ate it away, but he was wrong from the start. Most kingdoms were already rotten from within for centuries. It was like chopping at a falling tree yourself. Our kingdom's no exception."
"So open purges were doomed from the beginning... That's why you're moving in the shadows with a false identity like this."
"The Empire hates capable royals or noble heirs. If they catch their eye, the Shadows watch and quietly reduce their numbers—or leave them comatose. Over time, only the stupid, greedy, and incompetent remain."
Nobles schemed against each other in politics, royals in succession struggles—plenty of motives to kill.
And since the Shadows were deeply rooted as locals...
Even if an assassination or coma plot failed, proving Empire involvement was near impossible.
"So your brother was assassinated disguised as an accident?"
Johann nodded heavily.
"Yes. But that won't happen again. I came back to protect my family with my own hands. And I will... tear down that damned Empire myself!"
Crackle!
Johann spat the words like a raging beast, clenching his fist.
Blue sparks erupted fiercely from his hand.
Hayden's eyes narrowed at the sight.
'Lightning Mana... So he obtained the legendary avatar's power. A terrifying strength matching the heavy burden on his shoulders.'
"That's why I have a few requests, Father."
"Tell me. I'll help with anything I can."
After hearing Johann's plan, Hayden's face grew grave.
"Do you really need to go that far?"
"It's essential for me to move freely. If I reveal myself and fight the Empire openly, the Shadows will monitor my every twitch and report back. Right now, with their eyes on your house focused on my brother, is the perfect time."
Johann stated his ambitions confidently to his even more somber father.
"I will quietly find every Shadow hiding in our country... All of them, so stealthily and meticulously they won't even know how they died. This is the only way to eliminate them without our house or kingdom shedding blood."
Hayden shook his head.
"No. Son, if we do that, you'll cease to exist in this world from then on. Covered in indelible infamy and disgrace... Even in death, people will point fingers. You're sacrificing yourself this much to protect family and country, and all I can do is this..."
"Don't worry. I believe that once everything's over, I'll reclaim my place someday."
At his son's poignant reassurance, Hayden rose and bowed at a perfect right angle to Johann.
"F-Father! What are you doing? Straighten up! Now!"
Stunned by the unexpected gesture, Johann jumped up to stop him, but Hayden continued undeterred.
"I am unworthy, but on behalf of the kingdom's nobles and its people, I thank our hero in their stead. To offer so little to such a noble hero is my eternal regret..."
"Father..."
Straightening up, Hayden silently approached and embraced his son tenderly.
"I'm sorry. Forgive this worthless father who couldn't hold you more, who couldn't offer a single warm word..."
"..."
The two held each other warmly, sharing the father-son bond they'd been denied for so long.