How the Rank 0 Chef Survives 077: Thud!
Thud—
“Kyaaa!”
An unexpected body tackle from Ji-hyun came flying out of nowhere. Hura let out a bloodcurdling scream as he took the hit head-on.
He collided helplessly, tumbling unceremoniously into the grass. Hura's world flipped upside down. The sky tilted sideways, and the ground reared up to slam mercilessly into his shoulder.
“Guhk—”
As Hura lay there dazed, a light chuckle slipped into his ear.
“Gotcha.”
The voice came from above. Before he knew it, the assassin had straddled his chest.
“Hehe.”
Hura looked up at the source of the laughter with trembling eyes. She was covered in dirt and grass on her clothes and hair, gazing down at him with the fierce glint of a bird of prey. It was the satisfied grin of a hunter who had successfully captured her quarry.
“Ah…”
Hura squeezed his eyes shut. Ah— Aah— It's over. I've been dancing in the palm of this grim reaper's hand all along. Everything was just a game orchestrated by this cruel demon.
Strength drained from his entire body. Overwhelmed by helplessness, Hura began to sink into despair. Truth be told, he'd already used up every last ounce of strength he had left nursing, so he didn't even have the energy to twitch a finger. Total exhaustion. Like a gadget with a dead battery. He felt just like a deer pinned under a tiger's paw.
Opening his eyes again, Hura gazed blankly up at the assassin who'd toyed with him, his mind numb with resignation.
“Hahaha! I finally caught you! How's that, you jerk! I win!”
She cackled wildly from atop his chest. Truly the laugh of a witch, Hura thought.
“You jerk! You jerk!”
Ji-hyun poked at Hura's cheeks, reveling in her victory. Hura had no choice but to let her, offering up his cheeks meekly.
“Hahaha… ha…”
Her triumphant laughter gradually faded, as if she'd gotten it all out of her system. She silently pressed on his cheeks a few more times, then tilted her head and peered down at him.
“You…”
Hura flinched and turned his head away, avoiding her eyes.
“Ah, hold still… please.”
Ji-hyun grabbed his cheek and turned his face back. Then she thrust her face forward. Her big eyes loomed closer in an instant.
“Wh—why are you doing this…”
Hura whimpered, on the verge of tears.
*Slurp—*
“……”
Ignoring him, Ji-hyun examined his face from every angle. After a long inspection, she asked cautiously, as if confirming.
“You're… Hura… right?”
Checking one last time if the assassination target is correct before finishing the job?
Hura sweated bullets and tried to play dumb.
“Uh, no, I'm not.”
“It is you! Anyone can see you're Hura!”
Screw it.
“Fine! Yeah, I'm Hura!”
“…Hura?”
“Yeah! You knew that already, didn't you?”
“Your real name is actually Hura?”
Pfft— A laugh leaked from her lips.
“Ahahaha! Your real name is actually Lee Hura!”
What the hell? She just called me Hura a second ago.
“Yeah! I'm Lee Hura! If I'm gonna die anyway, at least tell me who hired you before you kill me! Huh?”
Hura blurted it all out in a rush. Last-ditch defiance before death.
“Fine, I admit it! I admit I'm a bit selfish! But I've lived without bothering anyone around me, or so I thought! So who the hell asked you to take me out?”
“Huh?”
“You can at least tell me that much before I die!”
“…What the hell are you talking about?”
Ji-hyun muttered in bewilderment. Hura's eyes widened in turn.
“…? You're not an assassin?”
“Assassin? What assassin?”
“Huh?”
“Yeah?”
“Ah?”
“Huh?”
The two blinked at each other, exchanging dumbfounded stares.
* * *
This was the Tteokbokki Cult's secret hideout. In the dim conference room, a massive screen on the wall played a video. It was none other than footage of Hura, currently the talk of the town.
The hooded executives of the Tteokbokki Cult watched in total immersion. When Blood Axe Thrower spilled the truth to Hura, they glared and spat vicious curses.
“That son of a bitch!”
“I'd dunk his head in boiling tteokbokki broth!”
“How dare he point those filthy fingers!”
When Hura unleashed his masterclass beatdown, the room erupted in gasps of awe and cheers.
“Aah! How can he be so cool!”
“Ooh! That charisma overwhelming everyone! That composure! We must learn from it!”
“Hura! He is a god!”
Some teared up, while others waved placards from who-knows-where. The placards read [Hura, You Are My Tteokbokki!].
*Ding—*
The video on the massive wall screen ended.
“……”
Like the end of a movie, silence lingered for a moment, heavy with afterglow. Then, slow applause started from somewhere.
*Clap… clap clap—*
It soon spread to the whole room.
*Clap— clap clap clap—*
They gave a standing ovation. Some shook their heads in admiration, while others wiped their eyes.
From outside the conference room came noise several times louder.
-Woooah! Hura-nim!!
-I love you! I love you!
-I'll be Hura-nim's doormat!
-Hura is a god! Hura is a god!
The rest of the Tteokbokki Cult outside was watching the video as a group.
“Silence.”
One hooded Tteokbokki Cult executive cast a spell to soundproof the room.
“Alright, let's calm down and start the meeting.”
They took their seats. A few chairs were empty, but the meeting proceeded anyway.
“First, the report.”
“Yes.”
A hooded executive stood.
“As Blood Axe Thrower's respawn time approaches, more people than expected are gathering in Nimal Village. Probably because the video went mega-viral. There are famous guilds among them, and even well-known mercenary groups.”
“As expected.”
They all nodded knowingly.
“Then, we sow chaos as planned. Assign the mission to our infiltrators in those guilds and mercenary groups.”
“Got it.”
“Don't forget security.”
“Of course.”
They had deliberately let Blood Axe Thrower escape. Others might be after ranks, but not the Tteokbokki Cult. They moved for one purpose alone.
Retribution. Punishment for daring to cause a ruckus in Hura-nim's sacred shop.
“We capture Blood Axe Thrower.”
The Tteokbokki Cult's terrifying death sentence was issued. The brutal reckoning began.
“…And if there's any cold noodles left, bring some.”
“I'll do my best.”
The executives gulped in anticipation.
* * *
The two blinked at each other in a daze. Finally, Hura spoke up.
“You're… really not an assassin?”
“…Nope?”
“You weren't chasing me to kill me?”
“Kill you? You?”
Ji-hyun looked utterly baffled. Relief bloomed on Hura's face.
Aha… Of course not. What kind of assassin chases someone in broad daylight?
“Haha! Knew it!”
A weak laugh bubbled up with his relief.
“Haha… haha, I thought… hahaha…”
The laughter trailed off abruptly. Hura looked up at her with questioning eyes.
If this suspicious person wasn't an assassin. If she hadn't been chasing him from the big mart to assassinate him.
…Then who the hell is she?
“Who are you?”
“Huh?”
“Why were you chasing me? What's the reason?”
“Why'd you run?”
“You were chasing me, so I ran.”
“You ran, so I chased.”
“?”
“?”
“What does that…”
“Whatever. You don't know who I am?”
Ji-hyun cut him off.
“…How would I know who you are?”
“You really don't recognize me? I didn't even wear a mask this time.”
Hura studied her face carefully. A tiny face swallowed by a baseball cap. Snow-white skin. Large eyes sparkling like obsidian. A sharp nose. Upturned lips that gave off a mysterious vibe. No wonder Mansu had freaked out—it was celebrity-level beauty. Easy to mistake for an idol.
I'd know if I knew a beauty like this. A guy from all-boys middle and high school with zero female friends.
“…You really don't know?”
“Yeah.”
“For real?”
“Yeah.”
“Think hard. W-we're friends.”
“What kind of friend chases you like they're gonna kill you?”
“That's…”
“You must have the wrong person…”
“No! You're Hura!”
Hura shrugged it off casually.
“Hura's not that common a name, but apparently not one-of-a-kind.”
“Your face is identical!”
“…A doppelganger?”
“No! We're friends! Real friends! Look closely!”
She shoved her face closer, sure he'd recognize her. But Hura didn't, and her disappointment was massive. She'd finally met her one and only friend in real life, and he didn't know her! Fueled by spite, she pressed him relentlessly.
“Look properly!”
“Ugh… why are you doing this? I really don't know.”
Hura was having a tough time too. A stunning beauty shoving her face in his—where was he supposed to look? He decided to escape the situation first.
“Hey, Hura! How can you not recognize me? That's too much!”
“…Friend or not, get off first.”
“What?”
“I… can't breathe right now?”
“Why not?”
“Someone's crushing my airways.”
Ji-hyun glanced at where she was sitting.
“Oh.”
Realizing belatedly that she was squashing him, she blushed and hopped off in a hurry.
“S-sorry.”
“……”
Hura tried to sit up without a word.
“Hngh!”
“……”
“Hnnngh!”
“…?”
“Hngh! *Cough cough*!”
He collapsed again, coughing like a failed rocket launch.
“…What are you doing?”
“Dunno…”
Hura tried to get up, but his body wouldn't cooperate. Exhaustion plus relief had sapped all his strength.
“Um, assassin-nim.”
“Friend!”
“Yeah, sure. Friend-nim.”
“What.”
“Can you help me up?”
“…Can't you do it yourself?”
“As you can see.”
Hura strained again with a “Hngh!” trembling all over.
“Fine, fine. I'll help.”
“Thanks.”
Hura held out his hand, and Ji-hyun grabbed it.
“Pull on three.”
“Okay.”
“One, two, three!”
Ji-hyun yanked Hura's arm, and he pulled back desperately, his body heavy as wet cotton.
“Nngh.”
“Hngh… Pull harder!”
“Grgh…!”
“Harder!”
Pulling with all her might, Ji-hyun lost her balance for a split second.
“Wh—whoa?”
“Ack?”
She staggered, the mutual pull drawing her toward Hura. She toppled onto him like a falling leaf.
Thud—
Her baseball cap tumbled off. A fresh citrus scent wafted over Hura's face. Stray hairs tickled his nose. Their faces were nose-to-nose.
Their eyes widened more than ever.
“……”
“……”
A breathless silence. A few seconds—long or short, depending.
Hura muttered blankly.
“…Molrangkau?”