Surviving Family Sports Day
This is Grandma's house. I step out of the small room and sit in the living room, idly scratching my ear.
"Aigoo, itchy. Someone must be talking about me."
Then I hear clapping—clap clap clap—and naturally glance that way. There's Grandpa and Eunhui playing patty-cake. The girl with pink-ribbon pigtails meets my eyes, snorts loudly, and whips her head away.
"Hmph!"
"……."
She's screaming "I'm mad at you!" with her whole body. Looks like this one's gonna drag on. Bad vibes.
"Tch."
Can't be helped. Time to play with Eunbi instead. But it's been ages since I last saw the shy one, so things feel a bit awkward. First things first: get back on good terms with Eunbi.
Mom, Dad, and Sis all say it's tough striking up convos with her, but who am I? Eunbi expert, Eunbi psychologist, Eunbi summer schedule planner, Eunbi four-wheeler engineer, Eunbi pretend-play production manager, Eunbi shoulder-rub therapist for her stiff little shoulders, occasional victim of Auntie's backhand for my "creative" Eunbi hairstyles, and Eunbi's one and only cousin bro—Hura.
For a pro like me, winning her over is a breeze. Just follow the steps.
One: Don't approach first. Think of her like a stray cat. Makes it easier.
Thud thud thud—
"Woo-hee-hee-hee."
Look at Sera chasing Eunbi around with that dumb grin. Total bad example.
Two: Sit still in an open space. Like this living room I'm in right now. Then Eunbi'll creep around you in circles, all hesitant.
Key point here: don't awkwardly say hi first. She'll bolt. Act oblivious, disinterested, cool as ice.
"Hmm-hmm-hmm~"
Hum a tune, scroll your phone, whatever. Or tease Sis, who's slumped over like a defeated soldier after failing with Eunbi.
I call out to her in the corner. "Excuse me, ma'am, but is something wrong?"
"……."
"Like, maybe got shot down by a little girl or something."
"……."
"Heh heh heh."
Meanwhile, Eunbi—who's been orbiting—edges closer. Now it's a battle of patience. Stay still like a praying mantis stalking prey. Wait for the perfect moment.
And when she's close enough...
"Gotcha!"
"……!"
The startled prey thrashes wildly—don't let go. That's the trick. Drop her, and it's all for naught.
Grip tight so she can't escape, pepper her with questions, chat her up. Her struggles'll slow, that tight little mouth'll open.
"Hey, Silver Rain. Long time no see? You been good?"
Sure enough, Eunbi quiets down in my arms. Her tiny mouth cracks open.
"…Yeah. You, Oppa?"
She peeks up at me slyly.
"I've been good too."
"Busy?"
"Yup. Super busy."
"Whatcha been up to?"
"Curious?"
"Nah, not really."
"……."
"But I'll listen anyway. Spill."
"Thanks, kiddo."
I ignore Sis's jealous glare and chat away with Eunbi. I share my updates first; she listens quietly, then shares hers bit by bit.
"The boy next to me likes me, I think."
"Why?"
"Drew me a dinosaur."
"A dinosaur? That's your evidence?"
"He was wearing a hat too?"
"…Oh."
Then out of nowhere:
"You coming to my birthday?"
"Hmm… Gotta check my schedule..."
Silver Rain deflates instantly.
"…That busy?"
Man, can't even joke around. Total opposite of Eunhui, who was glaring daggers earlier.
"Eh, I'll make time. It's your birthday—gotta show."
"…For real?"
"Duh. Would I lie?"
"……."
She eyes me all skeptical-like.
"Why you lookin' at me like that?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Fine, want an IOU?"
"Yeah. Write one."
"…Seriously?"
"Yup."
My resolute Silver Rain. No choice—I grab paper and scribble an IOU.
"Say if you don't come, you owe me ten million won."
"…Got it."
I hand it over; she takes it with a satisfied nod, folds it carefully, and tucks it in her bag. Smiling all quiet-like.
…Not grinning 'cause she's plotting to cash in ten mil, right?
"Oppa, read me a book."
"Sure. Grab one."
"Okay!"
She dashes to her room and back with a book. Outsiders might not notice, but she's pumped.
I plop excited Eunbi on my lap and check the title: The Little Match Girl.
She's always loved books, so I've read to her forever. Lately, she even brings them herself.
"Ready, Silver Rain?"
"Yup."
"Nuu~! This winter, she comes! In the chilly winter, a little match sparks a miracle—the magical tale of the match girl. But did she even have a proper business license? Why not sell lighters instead? And—"
"Oppa. Just read it normal."
"Oh, right."
Sheepish, I open the book.
"Matches! Get your matches... Oh, it's cold."
Eunbi squirms on my lap; she flips the page—rustle.
"Ah, that house looks so warm and happy..."
Rustle.
"Yes... tonight, that house it is. The girl strikes a match."
Strike!
"Eek!"
"What're you reading to a kid?!"
Sis, who's been watching, snatches the book. Skims it and glares.
"Ain't even in there!"
"Gotta ad-lib or it's boring."
"Boring, my ass."
"Eek!"
Sis raises her hand; I brace for impact. But she scoops up Eunbi instead.
"Outside. Sports day in the yard."
"Nooo..."
Sis hauls Eunbi out like a sack. Wait—house is empty now. When'd everyone leave?
"Tch... right when it was getting fun."
Tongue-clicking in regret, I follow Sis outside.
* * *
In the Flame Palace, where lava flows like streams, three people and one ghost gather in one of its many rooms.
"All set?"
Geum Taeyang—fully recovered, gold-rimmed glasses on—taps the green blackboard.
"Yup."
Molrangkau sits primly at the desk like a model student: neat ponytail, tidy notes, colored pens, highlighters, Post-its. Fully prepped.
"Let's begin. Pay attention."
Blackboard reads big and bold: "Saving 'Friend' as 'Lover'."
"First, homework check. Molrangkau?"
"Yup?"
"Heard you've gotten close to the fairy."
"Yeah."
"Any useful intel?"
Molrangkau beams, hand shooting up.
"Yes, Molrangkau student."
"She likes formal speech!"
"Oh."
Geum Taeyang nods, eyes widening slightly.
"Valuable. Thoughts?"
He glances aside. Bes lounges on the podium, legs crossed, rimless glasses giving professor vibes.
"Hmm~ Good intel. Well done, Molrangkau student."
"Thank you."
Molrangkau bows proudly.
"'Likes formal speech,' eh..."
Bes smirks seductively.
"Means she digs maturity."
"…Maturity?"
"Yup. Older, skilled lead—natural poise. My specialty."
"Ooh..."
Molrangkau gapes in awe; Bes grins confidently.
"Molrangkau student: Know thyself and thy enemy—victory every time. Get it?"
"Yes."
"Explain."
"Know the enemy and yourself, win a hundred battles."
"Right. So first: know yourself. Your level. Tteoksoon-i assistant."
No reply.
Geum Taeyang frowns, smacks the board. "Tteoksoon-i assistant!"
"Huh— Yes, sir! Tteoksoon-i!"
Tteoksoon-i jolts awake from dozing at the back desk.
"Sleeping on the job?!"
"S-Sorry!"
"Front and center."
"Yes!"
Tteoksoon-i scrambles forward at Geum Taeyang's bark. Bes points.
"Now, Molrangkau student?"
"Yes?"
"Treat Tteoksoon-i like Hura. Be mature."
Molrangkau stands slowly. Gulps. Puts on a stern face.
Then unleashes:
"Tteok! How rude!"
"……."
"……."
"Th-This wrong?"
Everyone sighs in unison.
"Whew... long road ahead."
"Tell me about it."
* * *
The wide yard hosts a mini sports day. Grandparents watch from the shade; Mom and Auntie chat and giggle beside them.
Teams: Uncle & Happy-Sad Sisters vs. Dad & Nerd Elsa, and me.
"Pick a game!"
Uncle rummages in the box of self-nominated events.
"First up..."
He unfolds the slip. Face sours instantly.
"…Relay race."
"Yes!"
Dad pumps a fist.
"Bro! Too much!"
Uncle protests; Happy-Sad Sisters look miffed too. Second-graders vs. grown adults? Super unfair, public enemy #1.
But Dad just cackles. "Shoulda picked better~?"
"Argh! Shoulda put Pokémon Quiz!"
Eunhui jumps in regret.
"This fair, bro?"
"Heh heh... Games? I'm always serious, Uncle O."
"…We'll see."
Thus, the "fair" race begins. Raised on Dad's no-mercy home training, Sis and I sprint full throttle—no holding back. Gap widens fast.
"Waaah! Nooo!"
"Yes!"
Eunhui wails; we stay firm. Heh... Dad's right. Kids or adults, competition's war.
"Dad! Last leg!"
"On it!"
Dad bolts out. As he rounds the turn, Eunbi finally gets the baton over there.
"Haha! Snail pace, Uncle O!"
Dad reaches the finish, flops to his knees, and crawls dramatically.
"…What're you doing?"
"Performance."
As Dad showboats, Eunbi—eyes blazing post-turn—charges and yells:
"Uncle! Cockroach ahead!"
"Kyaaak!"
Dad shrieks girly-style and flops; Eunbi crosses first.
"Wahaha! Eunbi, great job!"
"Eunbi! We won! Yay!"
"……."
"……."
Their side's partying; ours is glum.
"No way..."
Eunbi—catching breath—lectures despairing Dad: "Uncle. There's limits to underestimating me."
"……."
Sis and I surround the loser culprit.
"Losing to a bug? Head of household much?"
"Dad. Hop in the basket."
"……."
Grandpa chuckles. "Having fun! We'll stroll a bit."
"Sure! See ya!"
Uncle waves off Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, and Auntie.
"Ahem. New game after this loss."
"……."
"……."
Dad rises amid cold stares, draws a slip.
"Next: …Baseball?"
"Yes!"
Uncle cheers.
"Time to show ya! Middle school baseball star here!"
"Uncle. What about Eunhui and Eunbi? They play too?"
"Oh."
…Only thought of his strengths?
Eunbi pokes Uncle's thigh. "Dad. Basket?"
Anyway, game on. Short-handed with kids, we simplify rules big-time.
"Here goes!"
"Bring it!"
Uncle hurls; Dad swings hard.
Shoulda been a crack! Instead...
Crash!
Uncle freezes mid-pitch. Dad's whiff turns slow-mo to look back.
Mutters softly:
"…We're screwed."