Just As You Are

"Yeah. She's right here. Want me to put her on?"

I got up from the chair and crossed to the capsule machine, drawing Rahi into my arms. She smelled good. It was my body wash, familiar as ever, and yet the faint difference of her own skin was sweeter than the coffee. Her hair was still damp, and before I knew it I had buried my face against her neck.

"Nnh…"

Touching her while Hyunji's voice still came through the line seemed to stir Rahi every bit as much as it stirred me.

"Hah…"

She flinched, startled, then laid a gentle hand over the back of mine where it circled her waist. I tucked the phone between shoulder and cheek, chose a capsule, and held it up. Rahi nodded.

"Hold on. Hyunji wants to get brunch?"

"Th-that sounds good…"

"Yeah. She says yes."

"Sure.… Huh?"

"Ah. Okay."

Something in her tone snagged at me, and I tipped my head, but a moment later I set the phone down and drew Rahi in deeper. Her body filled my arms, soft and yielding, the kind of softness I didn't want to let go of.

"This is nice."

"…M-me too…"

"My heart's pounding. Feels like it's going to burst."

"…Th-that's because you're touching me like this, Shinwoo…"

"Same for me. You uncomfortable?"

"How could I be… This is… the morning I've always dreamed of…"

"You had a fantasy like that?"

"…Of course."

"And how does it compare?"

"…I'm happier… than I thought I'd be…"

The capsule machine murmured as it brewed, and the smell of coffee spread through the room. Under that low hum we said nothing, only listened to each other's warmth and the beat of our hearts. The call with Hyunji hadn't left so much as a trace of displeasure. Even if she said she was all right now, I still had to check every time. I needed to be convinced of it myself.

What an interesting world this is. Really.

It wasn't a bother. If anything, I ought to call it fun. Maybe I was a little giddy simply because I'd never been in a relationship like this before. The business at the café where Rahi and Hyunji had met, and Bae Jihyun's video from just a little while ago, had already taught me not to treat the hearts of the women in this world as simple things. I wanted to be careful. It was mine to do.

"All right. Let's dry your hair."

"Ah, okay… Wait, what?"

"I'll dry it. Come here."

"Ah…"

Rahi looked at me, her eyes going moist all over again, and couldn't seem to finish the sentence. She only gazed up. I stroked her cheek, led her over to the dryer, and patted the space between my thighs. She swallowed, then stepped awkwardly into my arms and sat down with care.

"How's that? Too hot?"

"I-it's nice…"

"Tell me if it is. I'm going ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to have to replace this dryer."

I hadn't thought about it until then, but the weak little thing I used without much care looked as if it would take forever.

"I-it's fine, though…"

"Come to think of it, there wasn't any treatment, was there?"

"…I-I can just wash it again at home."

"Tell me what you use. I'll keep some here."

"…I-I'll buy it… Um, Shinwoo."

"Hm?"

"How do you… know all of it?"

"All of what?"

"…It feels like you already know… everything I used to dream about…"

Her whisper, tucked against me, was half-lost under the dryer, but I caught the meaning well enough. I went on drying the hair of the woman sitting so still in my lap, and little by little she let her body go slack beneath my hands. It was shorter than Hyunji's, though long enough to pass her shoulders and brush the top of her chest.

"You're cute today, so this is special service. I can't make a habit of it."

"…Okay."

"Come to think of it, this is the first time I've seen your hair down."

"Ah. I suppose it would be."

"Yeah. It's pretty long."

"…I-if you don't like it, should I cut some off?"

"No."

The timing was right. I knew perfectly well that Rahi's self-esteem sat strangely low, and I'd only been waiting for a good moment to shore her up a little. This was it. I switched the dryer off and combed her hair out with my fingers — I didn't even own a comb, I realized — and spoke quietly against her.

"…Ah…"

"The clothes you like. The food. The way you wear your hair. That's what's good. Yesterday's arcade date was nice too, wasn't it? You know what I mean."

"…Yes…"

I could feel the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠heat climbing into her cheeks and ears as her fingers fidgeted. A small laugh escaped me, and I leaned in to whisper at her ear again.

"Bed is a slightly different conversation."

"…Gulp… Yes…"

"Anytime it's too much, or you can't, you tell me. The things you want, too. We're doing this together, aren't we?"

"…Shinwoo."

"Yeah?"

"…Please kiss me."

"All right."

I set the dryer down and met her mouth as she turned her head. My lips and tongue had only just begun to trace the softness of hers when her own mouth came down over them and took the kiss away.

"Haa…"

"We should finish drying, you know. Hyunji's going to be waiting."

"Ah, yes… I-I'll do it."

"No. Stay still. It's almost done."

"…Okay."

So I dried her hair without another word. It took a good while, but the time wasn't empty. Running my hands through it brought a strange pleasure of its own, and I was glad of the minutes.

"Your hair really is nice. Because you're young, maybe."

"I-I'm not young. I'll be in my mid-twenties soon…"

"Mm. Twenty-three is plenty young to me."

I'd noticed it from the moment she said she wouldn't call me oppa: a small, stubborn resistance to being seen as young. I didn't dislike it. There was a famous song, after all, about refusing to call someone noona. Come to think of it, I wondered how that singer had changed.

"…Is it because I look young? Do you… not like it?"

"As if. Have you already forgotten what I just said?"

"Ah…"

"Young is the best. It's a thrill. Always new."

There was no need to tell Rahi that age hardly mattered. Pretty was enough. Kind, on top of that, was better still.

"…That isn't something you're supposed to say at a time like this."

"But it fits, doesn't it?"

"…I-it does ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠feel nice…"

By then her hair was nearly dry. I really was going to need a new dryer. My wrist had started to ache.

"There. How is it? Want me to keep going?"

"Ah, no… But you really do know what you're doing. The underneath… how did you know?"

"I had a dog when I was little."

"…A d-dog?"

"Yeah. A long-haired retriever."

"…S-so I'm supposed to thank that dog?"

"Hmm. Today I'd say you're closer to a bear than a dog. Or is it about the same?"

"…Those are words that make me look forward to the day you come by the gym."

"Maybe I should report that as a threat."

Rahi shot me a glare and turned her head, and the way her hair floated up in a puff was so ridiculous I nearly laughed. I held it in. I was looking forward to the moment she reached the bathroom and understood.

"Get dressed, then. We'll stop by your place and change before we go."

"Ah, right. I'll hurry."

"Yeah."

She hesitated a second, then peeled off the boy shorts and drew her leggings up over bare skin. Fair enough — yesterday's underwear had to be a lost cause. I watched the taut give of her backside while I changed into my own clothes, then spoke.

"I'll wash them. Leave them here."

"Ah, no. I-I'll wash them myself…"

"You're coming back anyway."

"…Ah."

"If you're that embarrassed, want me to just buy some? Large ought to about do it."

"Ah! No! I'll take care of it myself!"

"What? Why are you this embarrassed?"

"Wh-why are you the one saying it like it doesn't mean a thing?"

"So what. Hmm. Now that I think about it, I'd like to see you in some other designs."

"…Ah, sh-should I buy something different…?"

Her tone flipped on the spot. I let a hand settle, unhurried, over the curve of her backside, and answered.

"I'll be looking forward to it."

"…Yes."

I stripped the sheets, still full of yesterday's traces, and carried them to the washer. Rahi looked as if she'd only just remembered. She scrambled into her clothes and came after me.

"I-I'll do it… Huh?"

"Hurry and get ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠ready. I'm done. Oh — you might want to use the bathroom first."

"…What?"

"You'll see when you get there."

I said it offhand to the hesitating Rahi, though I couldn't keep the smile off my mouth. I loaded the sheets and her underwear, and the instant I poured in the detergent a clatter rose from the shower room.

"I thought you'd at least scream."

"…You could have told me sooner."

Rahi came outside grumbling, glaring at me. Somewhere along the way she had gathered her hair and twisted it up at the crown, dried into a shape like a bread roll. With no comb in my place it sat messier than usual where it was pinned — and that only made it look more natural.

"It's funny, though."

"…It was not funny."

"Then I won't dry it for you next time."

"…That's mean. Really. When you already know…"

She was cute even while she grumbled, and I smiled as I started off. Rahi took my hand as if it were the obvious thing and fell in quietly beside me.

"So it really is spring. Not that cold."

"It isn't. It feels fresh."

"Flowers will be out before long."

"…W-would you want to go see them together, later…?"

"Let's."

She smiled at that, small and pleased, and looking at her face I drew a long breath of my own. Clean air filled my lungs. I could feel my body slowly coming loose.

"I didn't know we lived this close."

Right — this would be her first time making the walk. I'd already learned, going home twice, that it was nearer than I'd thought. The long way past the gym would take a while, but door to door was only about ten minutes.

"Yeah. Surprised me a little, too."

"Me too. How did we… never once run into each other, all this time."

"Hyunji was saying the same thing."

"She was?"

"Yeah. She said she's lived around here about three years."

"Really? I've been here about that long, too."

"Ah. So you came the moment you were an adult?"

"Yes. After my mother went into the hospital… I couldn't keep doing nothing but training."

"Figures. Was being a kickboxer the dream, then?"

"Not exactly… no. You couldn't make a living at it. I just wanted to run one decent gym in the neighborhood."

"That's a good dream."

"…I-it's too small a dream…"

"Since when do dreams come in sizes? And if you count what it costs, it isn't small, is it?"

"You're right. I didn't know it would take that much."

We talked about little things like that, and before I noticed we were at Rahi's door. I said I'd wait below. She changed in a blink and came back down. I still remembered being horrified, on a business trip together, at the full hour it took Changsu to get ready. The Changsu of this world, I thought, might be even worse. I hoped he was doing all right.

"Oppa! Unnie!"

By the time we came out onto the main road, we were about five minutes past the time we'd set. Right in front of the café, Hyunji stood waiting in an elegant lace-trimmed dress and a cardigan, pretty baby-pink heels on her feet. The moment she saw us and smiled, I was staring at her like a fool — and Rahi's mouth had fallen open as she looked at Hyunji, too, until their eyes met.