A Meal
"That's impressive. School alone was more than I could handle."
"I... I only did it because I loved it. When I'm dancing, I can forget everything."
I lingered over Hwang Jiyoung's soft smile, savoring it, and the thought slipped out of me in a whisper. She really does love to dance.
"Still. Back then, once evening study hall was over, all I could think about was going home to game. So—was it a ballet academy?"
"A dance school."
"Not ballet?"
"No. Hyunji taught ballet. I taught contemporary, and idol dance—the kind you see on the music shows."
Right. I'd heard Hyunji taught kids over the breaks. So she'd been doing it with Hwang Jiyoung. Strange, though, that her major and the thing she actually cared about weren't the same.
"Were you interested in that?"
"Yes. When I first got into the arts high school, contemporary was my major. I switched to ballet partway through."
"I see."
"...Back then, Director Hwang wanted me to follow Hyunji around."
"...She did?"
"Yes. I thought it would be nice, going to school with Hyunji, and ballet suited me well enough that I got lucky with college, too. But the deeper I went, the more I realized I was lacking from the foundations up."
"Hm."
Fair enough. Even the movies made ballet look brutal if you hadn't started in elementary school—and those were only movies. Wait. Then how many years had that part-time teaching actually been?
"So how long were you an instructor?"
"Um... six years, counting this one? I only taught during breaks, so if you look at the actual time, it isn't much."
"That's still impressive. Practically a professional."
"I'm not at that level. I don't even have a career."
"Does a career really have to matter?"
I murmured it at the hallway tiles. Hwang Jiyoung must not have caught it; she tipped her head.
"Sorry?"
"Do you want to open a big academy and make a name for yourself? Or have your own choreography team? I don't know the field—something like making routines for idols and singers."
"...It isn't that. In Korea now, it's hard to get choreography work unless you've studied abroad, and even then you have to spend years inside an existing team. It's just... I'm living off Hyunji's house. I don't want to be dead weight."
There was no way Hyunji saw her that way. She had more than enough room, and Jiyoung had to know it. So then—
"Is it pride?"
"...I feel so sorry toward Hyunji. Because of me, she has to share a house she used to have to herself. And I'm getting in the way of your date..."
"You think you're in the way?"
"...Ah..."
I drew back the hand that had been stroking hers and let it travel, slow and gentle, along her thigh. Jiyoung sucked in a breath and swallowed.
"Really?"
"...Thank you..."
"Don't thank me. You're not going to think that way anymore, are you?"
"I won't..."
I watched her nod, then took her hand again. Something faintly wistful crossed her face, and a laugh escaped me.
"Disappointed?"
"...Y-your hand feels too good, oppa..."
"We'll take it slow. So—up to what age can you teach on your own?"
She thought it over, head tilting.
"Age doesn't matter. Teaching idol dance is simpler than people think. If I can pick the choreography up cleanly, I can teach it. The students watch what I've learned, and if they like it, they keep coming."
"True. So you don't have to drill fundamentals from the ground up?"
"There are waves, and the steps and moves that come up all the time. But broadcast dance is basically a hobby. People show up to learn idol choreography—if you start them on basics, they're gone within a week."
She smiled, soft, and even managed a joke. A little ease had come back into her. It suited her far better, and I smiled and nodded along.
"Fair. So a hobby class is something you could already handle?"
"Yes. It's what I do every break."
It wasn't a decision I could make alone anyway. She still had that academy she meant to call; I could think about the rest if that fell through.
"All right. It'll work out. Don't worry so much."
"...Thank you. I am a little scared."
"I get it. But you've got Hyunji now. And you've got me."
"Ah..."
I held her hand and leaned in as she swallowed.
"If it really doesn't work out, I can feed you."
"...Ah."
Her head dropped, and she started to sniffle, small and quiet. I knew the feeling. Being thrown out into the world with no time to brace for it was frightening. Back then I'd thought that if even one person had simply believed in me, it would have been enough to stand on. It had to be worse for her. I didn't want her carrying the fear I'd carried.
"...The words alone are enough, oppa. Thank you. But I can earn my keep, too."
"Yeah. I believe you."
"For you to say that... thank you. It was the thing I most wanted to hear..."
"I was the same."
"...You were, Shinwoo oppa?"
"Yeah. After Mom died, being left out there on my own all of a sudden—that was hard."
"...Ah..."
She rushed to say something. I only squeezed her hand and smiled.
"I'm all right now. I've got Hyunji. Though judging by today's spending, I may need to work harder."
"Th-that's not true. I don't shop much..."
"Oh, and. I've got quite a few women."
"...I thought you might. You treat people this well."
"Treat them well? Hardly. Lately I feel how much I'm lacking."
"You, Shinwoo oppa? Who says that...?"
She looked me over, up and down, steady and earnest, and it was cute enough that I was just about to laugh—when Hyunji came out of the restroom. I leaned toward Jiyoung and whispered.
"We'll talk more later."
"...Okay."
Only then did a bright little smile find her face, the radiance I'd first seen in her beginning, slowly, to return. We were still looking at each other when Hyunji trotted over, dropped into the seat beside me, and wrapped both arms around mine.
"What were you two talking about?"
"I was curious what Jiyoung's going to do from here."
"Ah. I was going to ask anyway. Did you call?"
"The academy? Not yet. I was going to take my time with it while we move my things. It was still morning."
Just listening to the two of them chatter felt like healing. But we needed to get moving. It was already creeping up on one.
"Shall we head out? You hungry?"
"Yes."
We stood and left the department store. Down in the parking garage, as we reached the car, Han Gyeo-wool looked up from the laptop and tablet she'd been working on inside and apologized.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were coming."
"You don't need to apologize. If anything, I feel bad for taking your time when you're busy."
"Not at all. It was only the results from this morning's meeting. Where shall I take you?"
Jiyoung, in the passenger seat, named that brunch place from before, and we arrived with Hyunji humming against my arm. Lunch hour had passed, but the lot was still packed, and higher up people were clustered under the flowers and trees, taking pictures.
"If we hadn't reserved, we wouldn't have gotten in."
"It used to be our hideout. Ugh."
"Right? After it blew up on Instagram there were way too many people. Should we find somewhere else?"
"I think so. Oppa won't even be able to eat properly."
"Don't worry about me. We got here late, too."
"Even so. It used to be such a good place for a quiet talk."
"Then next time we'll go somewhere else. Want me to look?"
"Ah, no. I'll—no. We'll take care of it. At least let us do that..."
Hyunji smiled, bright and a little shy, and the moment she said we, Jiyoung's face flushed as she smiled too, soft. They got out. I moved to follow and caught sight of Han Gyeo-wool. She showed no sign at all of getting out. I looked at her. She met my eyes in the rearview mirror as if nothing were unusual, then spoke.
"Please enjoy your meal, then, and come back."
"And you, Gyeo-wool?"
"Bread is fine for me."
"...What kind of answer is that? Eat with us."
"Ah. I'm all right, but..."
"Come on. I figured the shopping might be a bother because of us, but a meal isn't. Please get out."
"...Understood."
She hesitated, then nodded, and I stepped out. Hyunji and Jiyoung were waiting. I walked over and pinched both their cheeks, giving them a gentle tug.
"Ow... that huuurts..."
"O-oppa...?"
"She drives us around and makes everything easy, and you didn't even ask her to eat with us?"
Only then did their eyes go to Han Gyeo-wool stepping out of the car.
"Ah, I-I forgooot..."
"I'm sowwy..."
"Basics. Basics. What am I supposed to do with these little ones."
I let go. Both of them clutched their cheeks and sent apologetic looks at me and at Gyeo-wool as she came over, so I laughed and stroked their heads. It had come so naturally that I'd nearly forgotten her myself for a second—which told me plenty about how things usually went.
"I don't know how it was before, but when you're with me, mind your manners. Understood?"
"Yes. Hehe. Sorry."
"Unbelievable."
Hyunji was used to me, so she only smiled and turned on the charm. Jiyoung looked as sorry as if she'd committed some grave offense. She'd settle in time. And forgetting Gyeo-wool had been almost inevitable: Hyunji had been busy trying to tie me and Jiyoung together however she could, and Jiyoung herself had to be thoroughly rattled by yesterday and today.
"I'm sorry. I didn't even realize. It's just so familiar..."
"It's fine. I know you aren't that kind of people."
"...Yeah. I was so out of it... Sorry, unni."
"Don't. There's nothing to apologize for. I was only going to eat bread and work."
You wouldn't have noticed unless you looked closely, but a faint smile touched Gyeo-wool's face. I took Hyunji's hand, and Jiyoung's.
"Let's go in."
"Okay. Oppa, are you mad?"
"No. Not at all. Why would I get angry at my cute Hyunji?"
"Okay. Hehe."
"You already know, and you still ask."
"Because you didn't pinch that hard."
"Of course not. You're too precious to handle roughly."
"...Really. Our oppa is the best."
Hyunji clung to my arm and nuzzled her cheek against me, and with Jiyoung's hand in mine I followed the staff to our table. It was a pure-white table in the garden, and every table around it was full. Feeling all those eyes gather on us, I spoke to the server.
"We've added one more. Is that all right?"
"Yes, of course. I'll bring the menus."
"Today's recommendations, please."
At Gyeo-wool's word the waiter took back the menus he'd been offering and went inside. I cleared my throat for no good reason under all those stares and sat. Somehow there wasn't a single man. Every table was nothing but women.
"...The staring's a bit much."
"I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be this crowded."
"It's fine. Last time it was quiet enough that I thought it'd be nice for talking."
Hyunji apologized, looking genuinely sorry, and I smiled and waved it off. Then my eyes met Gyeo-wool's. She'd been watching me without a word.
"Are you all right, Gyeo-wool?"
"A little awkward. I don't often find myself the center of attention."
"Ah. That makes sense."
Given her work, attention like this would feel strange. I wasn't used to those cloying, sticky stares either. Did that mean the bodyguards who'd been looking after me all this time ate just as carelessly?
"Don't tell me you usually eat like that."
"Ordinarily, yes. But I eat properly otherwise, so you needn't worry."
"That's a relief, at least."
"Thank you for your concern."
"Not at all. It's only natural."
Maybe because of the reservation, the food was set in front of us in no time. I didn't much care what it was. If anything, that was comfortable. I was grateful to Hyunji just for sparing me from having to think about it. Say so out loud and she'd only smile and tell me I was making a fuss over nothing. I glanced at her. She was staring back with round eyes, so I shook my head and simply smiled.