Before the Performance
"This way?"
"Ah—yes, yes..."
"I don't see Seol-ah or Mi-ji, though."
"They've probably gone to check the stage with the professor. Once the seniors leave for their company internships and to study abroad, we'll have to handle everything ourselves from this year on."
"I see."
"...Um..."
She kept pace beside me with her lips parting and closing, the words catching before they could leave her. I waited without pressing, and at last Hwang Jiyoung bit down hard on her lip and slowly opened her mouth.
"...Am I... really pretty...?"
That single question was enough to sketch her character. She knew I was a Multimale, and yet she wasn't making a move on me—she was simply, plainly delighted by one offhand remark that she was pretty. It was written all over her. I was going to have to admit I liked her more by the minute.
"Yes. You seem sure of yourself, and I like that glamorous air you give off. You've got taste to spare, too. You're the leader among your friends, but you don't really put yourself forward, do you? It looked to me like Seol-ah wants to be the one out in front, so you step back. I can tell how considerate you are."
"...Ah..."
The tremor in her eyes told me I'd hit the mark. And Hwang Jiyoung wore her inexperience with men in every line of her body—the instant our gazes met, she grew shy and dropped her eyes. Nothing to be done about it. Meeting a man at all was difficult enough, never mind holding a conversation. Having no immunity to this was, in fact, the normal state of things.
"...I've never heard that before..."
"From a man?"
"...No. My—my whole life... it's the first time I've ever heard it..."
"That can't be. Uh. Well."
I'd nearly brought up her mother without thinking, but the sorrowful look she'd worn earlier, when the talk turned to the meeting, rose in my mind, and I swallowed the words. Hwang Jiyoung seemed to catch what I'd started to say anyway. She put on a thin, practiced smile and answered.
"...You're right. Even my mother never told me I was pretty... And everyone else just says I'm dependable, or cool..."
I knew well enough how badly a careless touch on family matters could bruise a person's pride. I'd grown up with only my mother, and now I was an orphan—I understood. Everyone's circumstances were different, and without knowing Hwang Jiyoung's, I couldn't guess where an easy remark might cut her. So I only nodded, and answered.
"...You are pretty, Jiyoung. At least in my eyes."
"Ah... Thank you... And..."
She swallowed, stole a glance at me, and whispered.
"...I didn't realize... you'd looked at me that closely..."
"Did I get it about right?"
"...Yes. Seol-ah likes being the one who steps forward. But I never minded that."
"Yeah. That's how it looked. It felt better to you when Seol-ah was happy, didn't it?"
"...It's really amazing."
"What is?"
"Honestly, this is the first time I've ever talked with a man for this long... and I'm not even nervous... It's so comfortable. The way you speak to me..."
The cheeks she kept glancing up at me with had gone faintly warm, and so had the light in her eyes, and the fingers fidgeting inside the pockets of her puffer. Everywhere I looked, there was nothing but evidence that she was feeling me as a man.
"I'll take it that you don't dislike me, then."
"...Ah."
She grew shy all over again, and I smiled gently as I stepped out of the corridor. The heavy soundproof door swung open onto the house, and I winced for a moment against the lights. The seats were already about half full. Filling the rest wouldn't be easy, as I'd thought. Hwang Jiyoung wore a disappointed look as she addressed me, careful.
"The front three rows are all for people connected to the cast. Sit wherever you're comfortable."
"Where can Hyunji and I see each other best?"
"...Ah. Th-there."
A little off to the left. Center would have been easier for taking in the whole performance, but this far forward my neck was going to ache anyway, so I'd rather choose a seat where I could see Hyunji well. I watched her point to one and step behind it to check the number, then spoke.
"Jiyoung."
"Yes?"
"And where's the best view of you?"
"...Ah..."
She stared at me blankly, her mouth opening and closing, and it was cute enough that I smiled softly before I went on.
"I said I'd watch you, didn't I?"
"...I-I'm right beside Hyunji, so..."
"Then this seat should do."
"...Thank you. I thought you were only saying it in passing."
In part, I had been. Half of it had been courtesy, a promise to keep an eye on her. The other half was interest, plain and simple. And seeing Hwang Jiyoung today, that interest was slowly warming into something like fondness.
"I was. But I'm starting to get interested myself."
"...Ah..."
Unlike the shy blushing until now, the color climbed all the way to her neck, and she couldn't get another word out. I watched her a moment, then gave a small nod.
"I can look forward to you, can't I?"
"...Yes. I'll work really, really hard..."
"That's all I need. Just don't get too nervous."
"Thank you... Oh! The p-program. I'll bring you a program. One moment."
"Don't you need to get ready, too?"
"It's fine. I only have to take off my puffer. I-I'll be right back with it!"
With that she shot off like an arrow, and a quiet laugh slipped out of me at her retreating back. Even then, she was embarrassed to say she'd take the jacket off. I knew it was an excuse she'd scrambled for after my words left her flustered and at a loss—but if anything, it was endearing.
There really is no heaven like this.
Every word out of my mouth was landing so well that I caught myself getting swept up in it. I was humming under my breath, just settling into the seat Hwang Jiyoung had pointed out, when—
"Oh my. Shinwoo."
I turned at the familiar voice beside me, and the face I found had me on my feet at once.
"Good evening, ma'am."
"Hello. As handsome as ever, I see."
Something in the nuance sat oddly, but I took it as nothing more than a courtesy.
"And you remain as elegant and beautiful as ever, ma'am."
"Oh my. Thank you. I didn't say it hoping to hear that, but it is pleasant. You've come to see Hyunji's performance?"
"Of course. She worked so hard preparing for it. And it seems you found the time, busy as you are."
"Don't even ask. What I went through today, simply to be here. Though I must say, this seat is rather poor."
It was none other than Hyunji's mother. The ease that the dressing room, and Hwang Jiyoung, had been loosening in me drew tight again.
"Would you rather move further in?"
"Ah, I was told this seat has the best view of Hyunji's path across the stage. A friend of hers, Hwang Jiyoung, recommended it."
"My, my... I see. I know Jiyoung, of course. Then, might I impose upon the seat beside you?"
At my answer her eyes lit and fixed on me, and I smiled as gently as I could while offering her the place.
"Of course. Please, sit."
"Thank you. And such fine manners. Oh—you have met our Gyeo-wool, haven't you?"
Behind Lee Hyesun as she sat, Han Gyeo-wool stood quietly with her hands folded before her. I must have been more rattled than I'd thought. I was only now registering that she was there.
"Ah, I have. Hello. I didn't notice you."
"Yes. Good evening. It's quite all right. Then, ma'am, I'll wait in the car."
"You could stay and watch, you know."
"No, ma'am."
Han Gyeo-wool's voice was cold, but in this moment I was grateful for it. It gave me a little longer to gather myself. I watched her incline her head to me and slip out of the house.
...Hah.
A thin sigh escaped me as I took the seat beside Lee Hyesun. It wasn't that I hadn't braced for this. Until a moment ago, though, I'd been too loose, too openly pleased, grinning over Hwang Jiyoung's every reaction.
"Hyunji has been so bright lately. She calls often, too. Thank you, Shinwoo."
"Not at all. She's so bright herself that I feel myself brightening along with her."
"Hm? Has something been weighing on you?"
"Nothing like that. After I left my job, things felt a little bleak, but since I met Hyunji it's started to feel as if they're opening up. That's all."
"I see. Is there anything you lack? Anything you need?"
"Pardon?"
"Well. Even so. If one is to go about dating, there must be a great many things required. I still carry it with me, you know."
I didn't need her to name what she was carrying. That thin white envelope, surely. But my mind was unchanged. My stubbornness wasn't so slight that one wasted day would be enough to bend it.
"...I'd like to do what I can on my own, as far as I'm able. The offer alone is thanks enough."
"I see. Then there is one thing I should like to ask."
"...What would that be...?"
"The house you spoke of, the one where you would live with my daughter. I find myself curious how you intend to manage it."
"..."
How Lee Hyesun had come to know wasn't what mattered. Hyunji might have told her. She was her mother; Hyunji could certainly speak to her about something like that. She ought to. That was only natural. But the truth was, that very thing was the snag right now. Walking out of the realtor's, I'd just been made to see how little I knew of the world.
All I'd done was talk big.
It wasn't something I could settle by simply digging in my heels. Of course, if I put down the two hundred million won I had on hand and drew the full five hundred million of the Multimale loan, I could just manage a lump-sum lease on a three-bedroom apartment. But that would make a lie of my promise to live with all of them—Hyunji and Rahi, Go Yewon, and Ju Hayeong too.
"So I've been turning it over. I want to keep the promise, but the circumstances aren't kind. It's going to take a great deal of time. I imagine you have something you'd like to say."
She wouldn't have raised it for nothing. Nor, I thought, to prick my mood or my pride on purpose. I was beginning to get a sense of Hyunji's mother's character. When I turned the question back on her, Lee Hyesun smiled as if glad of it, and calmly parted her lips.
"Then I thought I might make you a proposal."
"I'll hear your advice."
By calling it advice, I drew a line for the moment. Lee Hyesun seemed to catch my meaning. She laughed, easy and bright, waved a hand once, and was just opening her mouth when—
"Shinwoo. I'm sorry. The programs had all run out, so it took me a while to find one... Ah."
Hwang Jiyoung's voice came from behind, rough with breath. I turned to answer her, but her eyes weren't on me. They were fixed on Lee Hyesun, in the seat at my side.
"Jiyoung, dear. Can't you see the adults are speaking?"
"...I-I'm sorry."
Lee Hyesun murmured it without so much as shifting the gaze she'd kept on me, and Hwang Jiyoung stopped dead, freezing where she stood. Her face had gone pale, like a frog before a snake.
"I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you."
"It's noisy. I'll let it pass. Where is Director Hwang?"
"She said she has a meeting today, and that she's busy."
"As she should be. That woman has put me through quite a bit lately."
"...Ah..."
"Oh—of course I'm not scolding our Jiyoung, so pay it no mind. You're performing together today, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Do well, then. And would you step aside?"
"...Yes. Here... the program..."
"Thank you."
The program Hwang Jiyoung held out was shaking like an aspen leaf. It had been the briefest exchange, and still I'd learned a great deal. I knew now that she was no daughter of an ordinary house, and that whatever lay between her and Lee Hyesun ran steeply vertical—hierarchical enough that you could feel who stood above. Hwang Jiyoung looked at me for a moment, swallowed, and lowered her eyes. A flicker of shame, it seemed.
"I'm sorry. We were interrupted for a moment."
"...Not at all."
"I'm on familiar terms with Jiyoung's mother, and this recent matter has left me rather angry. That's all it was."
"I see."
If it was business between people who were personally close, it wasn't my place to say a word. No point running my mouth over things I didn't understand. By the strict rules of etiquette, cutting into the conversation had been Hwang Jiyoung's mistake, and I could understand, too, that she hadn't known it was Lee Hyesun. And Lee Hyesun hadn't been angry enough to cross a line...