The Waiting Room
"Hello, Jiyoung."
"Hello, oppa. You really came."
But Hwang Jiyoung's eyes had already caught on the bouquet in my hand, and she was staring at it in a daze.
"Of course. Ah—sorry. The flowers are Hyunji's."
"……They're so pretty. I'm jealous of Hyunji. If I'd known, I would've asked for some too."
"You should have."
"Aww."
She gave herself a little shake, grumbling like a child sulking, and a laugh slipped out of me. Her face was done in heavy stage makeup, and her hair wasn't the glamorous waves from that night at the bar—it was pulled neatly up from the crown and finished with a small tiara—but none of that beauty had gone anywhere.
Stage makeup suits her.
The smile she turned on me was soft as sunlight. It was the same bright, dazzling feeling she'd had in that bar, and the faint scent coming off her—crisp and fresh, like laundry dried in the sun—cleared my head.
"S-sunbae!"
"Who told you to leave a guest standing out here? I said the moment you confirm them, you bring them straight inside."
The two women folded at the waist in a rush, and the ice in Hwang Jiyoung's voice made me flinch too. Both hands shoved into a long puffer coat, that cold tone—even I got a flicker of the army.
"We're sorry."
"We'll talk later. Oppa, please come in."
"Sure. Thank you both. You explained everything so kindly."
I'd tossed that in on purpose, just in case, and the two of them looked at me with damp eyes, like I'd come to save them.
"Not at all!"
"Have a wonderful time!"
The moment Hwang Jiyoung appeared, though, both of them went stiff. A shame. They'd had this fresh, green feeling that made me feel like I'd slipped back in time. She held the door, smiled at me, and I stepped slowly inside.
"I'm sorry. I drilled it into the kids, and still."
"I think I get your position around here."
At that she flushed, dropped her eyes, and scratched her cheek—unexpected. Back then, and most of the time, she'd seemed so sure of herself. A minute ago she'd been a corporal, pure and simple.
"……Th-the kids are just a little scared of me. It sort of happened, that's……."
"Like barracks discipline? That still exists?"
"It's the department……. They live off how wonderful they think they are, so if you don't keep a hand on them, somebody gets hurt……."
Fair enough. I nodded and asked. It didn't feel like crossing a line.
"You didn't come out because something happened, did you?"
"……Ah. No……."
Her face sank all at once, so I asked.
"Is something wrong?"
"It's……. Mom said she was coming, so I was waiting, and then she suddenly had a meeting."
"I see."
"Can't be helped. She's been like this my whole life. I'm used to it now."
She smiled as if she'd never looked forlorn at all, and I watched that smile a moment before murmuring.
"I'm a poor substitute, but I'll watch carefully for you."
"……Ah……."
As if she hadn't expected it, her eyes went round and a faint color rose in her cheeks. The makeup was too heavy to show much, but I learned that a flustered Hwang Jiyoung was cuter than I'd thought.
"……Thank you."
"Don't mention it. That puffer must be warm, though."
"The costume's so thin. If I don't wear it, I'm actually cold underneath."
"Feels like the air conditioning's on, too."
The hall was cool to begin with, but the air drifting from somewhere was dry and cold.
"Yes. We have to keep it dry. Humidity and people slip, or their condition drops."
"Huh. Odd. I heard athletes usually keep it hot."
"Ah, it depends. Some of the seniors huddle around a heater."
"That must be cute."
"It's a little awkward for me to say, but… a little?"
She answered with a bright, bashful smile, and I nodded, glancing around. Her lips moved, then she spoke.
"……Um, oppa."
"Yes?"
"In case you get flustered going into the waiting room……."
"Why? Am I not allowed in?"
"It's not that. Everyone's a bit on edge. They've been building their condition for the performance, so……."
"Makes sense. I'll keep quiet and come back out."
"……I don't think that'll work."
I didn't quite follow. I'd taken "on edge" to mean I might set off somebody's temper and should be understanding, but maybe that wasn't it. Was I supposed to be picturing a company waiting room? As I tilted my head, Hwang Jiyoung smiled gently and gave my arm a light tap.
"They're all going to like it way too much. You should brace yourself."
"That'd be a relief, actually. I was worried I'd be a distraction."
"Not at all. I bet it'll motivate everyone like crazy."
The waiting room I'd found with Hyunji that other time had been fun, but only because those people were entertaining. These were students. If I read the room with Hyunji's place in it, it'd be fine. Then Hwang Jiyoung leaned in, and her whisper followed.
"You didn't see any men in the audience on the way, did you?"
"I think I saw two or three."
"Right. At a dance-department show, the male audience has never hit double digits. Most of them are company people, too."
"Come on. There must be men who like this kind of performance."
"People like that mostly watch professional companies now. We're not at that level of quality yet. Seats have to be filled, so we drag in every relative and friend. Funny, right?"
It came out sharply self-deprecating. She really was still young. Whatever the field, it's the same—getting people in the room is always the hardest part. And they were still students. Expecting an audience to appear on its own belonged in a fairy tale. Still, there was no need for her to shrink. A little encouragement, then.
"Not at all."
"Ah……."
At the firmness of it, she flinched, thrown.
"I've seen how hard Hyunji works. How much she puts into it. Saying I understand all of it would be rude of me, but it isn't funny. You worked hard too, Jiyoung. Didn't you?"
"……Ah……. Yes……."
She gazed at me, then swallowed, and it was cuter than I'd expected. I knew she was trying to seem grown. I chuckled at those eyes and spoke quietly.
"Set gender and relationships aside, and they're all just an audience. Men in the seats don't decide the quality of your work. I wish you wouldn't put your own effort down like that."
"Thank you……. Really. That helps a lot."
"I'm glad. I don't know much about it anyway. Ballet's a bit too refined for me."
"Just you actually coming is already more than enough for us to be grateful……. Th-then I'll go in first."
She stepped up to a door, tipped me a look and a smile, and when I nodded she knocked, opened it, and went in. A clatter of noise drew together into one large sigh, and pretty voices spilled out.
"What. It's Lion Ajumma."
"God, you scared me, Jiyoung."
"I told you to knock when a guest shows up."
"And where were you off chasing a mood, only getting here now?"
"Lion Ajumma, were you out smoking?"
"Still haven't quit, Jiyoung? Keep that up and you'll never get a boyfriend."
"……You don't have one either, sunbae."
"That's why I'm a heavy smoker. If you're craving one, come with me."
"I told you, I really don't smoke."
I knew the rush in her voice was so I wouldn't misunderstand. What nearly made me laugh was that none of it was what I'd expected to hear aimed at her. I'd figured the kids wouldn't be any different, but pretty voices cracking the kind of jokes reserve-forces uncles tell was funny. Ah. Not uncles. Ajummas might be closer.
"……Sunbae, why are you undressed again?"
"Leave me. I'm gonna die like this."
"……You should still have clothes on. There's thirty minutes until the show."
"I'll put them on. I'll put them on."
I listened to the grumbling, and to Hwang Jiyoung clearing her throat, and waited for the moment.
"Sunbaes. And my dear classmates."
"Why are you suddenly putting on airs?"
"Guys. The lioness is trying to whip us into shape now, too."
"You think we'll be scared just because you say so?"
"Th-that's right! Don't put on airs. It's scary."
"I'm already losing my mind from how pent-up I am, and now you?"
"I'm hungry……."
"I want a treat……."
"I want to stop eating sweet potatoes……."
"Ugh, shut up. We're all barely holding it in."
"……Which is why I brought someone to clear the air."
"Huh?"
With that, I eased my head through the doorway and looked into the waiting room. Blank stares met me. I smiled and lifted a hand.
"Hello."
I barely dragged my eyes off the crotch of the woman sprawled flat on her back right in front of me. Beside her, another was slumped in a chair, ballet costume half off. A flesh-toned silicone pad dangling from a dainty chest was hard to miss. Everywhere I looked it was a pretty girl beside a pretty girl, and every figure was ridiculous.
The stage makeup makes them all look a little alike, which is a shame. But they really are all beautiful.
And there were a lot of them. A different world from the theater waiting room. If that one had been the decadent beauty of bibimbap buried in gochujang, this was the clean, innocent feel of a pale-green sprout salad. Nearly forty pretty girls, and just the sight of them put me in a good mood. Nothing came back to my greeting.
"……Hello?"
Still nothing. I looked them over one by one as they stared. Women, it turned out, weren't any different. Pack the same sex into one room and they all start to look alike. That was the moment. A crash and a scream blew up all at once, and I covered my ears before I knew I was doing it.
"……Kyaa!"
"Kyaaa!"
"W-wait! Just a second!"
From what Hwang Jiyoung had said, I'd had a rough idea of the mood, but the room was nearly an army barracks. They moved like soldiers hit with a surprise locker inspection. Girls who'd been sprawled in pretty ballet costumes shot up off the floor in shock or went darting every which way, and even then the lines of them were beautiful to watch.
"Jiyoung, you—!"
"You should've said something!"
"……I did knock. Oppa, ignore them. I'll go get Hyunji. She's probably in that corner, drawing on the floor while she waits for you……."
"Oppa!"
Hyunji's voice reached my ear, and I turned without thinking. Time seemed to slow. A pretty girl beside a pretty girl? No. There was only one pretty girl.
……She really is beautiful.
It struck me all over again. Hyunji was always smiling brightly in front of me, getting shy in that cute way, and that alone had always been more than pretty enough. But the way she looked now made me feel, once more, that I had fallen for her. I'd thought she asked me to the waiting room because she wanted to show off. She'd wanted to show me this. I could feel, without being told, that it was worth it.
"Oppa! You really came."
"Of course. I said I would."
"……You didn't contact me, so I was so worried……."
"Thought I wouldn't come?"
"More than that……. I wondered if something had happened……."
"I wanted to surprise you."
"……You don't have to. You surprise me every day, oppa……."
She smiled softly, both hands gathered at the front of her ballet skirt, fidgeting, and a smile came to me on its own. A pure-white costume, a skirt light enough to float, and those two long, straight legs wrapped in spotless white tights looked almost chaste. Her collarbones, and the slender line of her neck. I felt an impulse to tuck her into my pocket and run. Even the heavy stage makeup suited her, and I nearly lost myself all over again in Hyunji's bright smile.