A Gift
"...Sexual... harassment... I did that to you..."
"Mm. Sexual harassment. Yeah, that one's wrong, I'll give you that."
"...I'm sorry..."
"But wouldn't you need to catch it in the act, or have me testify that I was forced?"
"...You're on your way to work... I'm sorry for taking your time..."
She apologized again, and as I looked at Kim Hanna's cheek a single silver droplet rolled down it. The tear was so forlorn it clenched my chest before I knew what was happening. The drop itself was enormous, though. Was it because her eyes were so big? It put me in mind of morning dew gathering on a leaf and sliding free.
"No. That's not what I meant."
"...Yes...?"
"I never said I didn't like it."
"...What?"
Kim Hanna's eyes went perfectly round, and when she turned I finally saw her face properly. Even her pretty lips were parted as she stared at me like a startled rabbit, her eyes swollen red. Cuter than I'd expected.
Yeah. She could hold her own as a trainee.
The face was exactly the quiet elegance I'd first taken it for. I hadn't noticed under all that thick hair, but it was small enough to hide behind a single palm. Her skin was snow-white and clear, so fine and soft that even the down on it showed. Her features, though, were strikingly mature—distinct, and yet proportioned so beautifully they still felt refined. With not a trace of makeup, the sense of purity came on its own. If there was a flaw, it was the dark circles settled under her eyes. I'd lived with those myself, and hers weren't even bad. Makeup would cover them.
"I never said I didn't want it."
"...Ah..."
Only then did my words seem to come back to her, and Kim Hanna's face flushed red all at once.
"And I'm not enough of a bastard to ruin someone's life over something like this."
"...Ah..."
"You want to be a celebrity. What were you going to do if a record like that stuck and caused trouble later?"
"...Sniff."
Unable to find an answer, Kim Hanna bit her lip, then let tears like silver beads fall as she apologized all over again. A sensitive one, apparently.
"Sniff. I'm sorry."
But with her sniffling on and on, I felt the gazes that had drifted away gathering once more. A woman whose eyes met mine was staring at us in surprise, so I leaned in and whispered to Kim Hanna again.
"Keep that up and I'm the one in real trouble. You trying to make me the bad guy?"
"...Ah. I-I'm sorry..."
"You can stop apologizing. There. Enough."
I reached out and wiped the falling tear away with my index finger. Kim Hanna's eyes went round. She hurriedly dabbed at her own tears and looked at me, then dropped her gaze the instant ours met.
"...Th-thank you..."
"Don't mention it. Where do you get off?"
"...O-over there..."
Wiping her tears as she pointed at the route map, she was pretty cute. Somewhere around Gangnam, by the look of it, though that hardly mattered. I had to transfer here anyway. Her reactions were honest, and pure enough that she really was young. Pleased, I looked at her and nodded. This line. I'd wanted to try it myself.
"I get off at the next stop."
"...Ah..."
But it was written all over Kim Hanna's face that she had no idea what the line was, and I nearly went glum. Of course she wouldn't know. Tch. Shouldn't have bothered.
"Disappointed?"
"...Yees..."
I watched the hesitation in her eyes and the lips that kept parting and closing, and waited. If I asked, she would answer at once, but then it wouldn't mean anything. Whether a person can say what they want matters—in love, and in bed. Still, she'd already laid her desire bare. I didn't think she would hesitate now, and I was right.
"Your Insta... can I ask... gulp..."
"Not Instagram. I'll just give you my number."
"Ah... th-thank you..."
Mid-conversation she suddenly tugged at the neck of her T-shirt, and even I was a little thrown. The pale line of her throat, her collarbones, the swell of her chest caught my eye—but then she fished out the black rectangle wedged between them, and a helpless laugh escaped me as I took the phone. The smartphone that had been tucked against her chest came warm with her body heat.
"But are you really all right with this? I'm a lot older than you, Hanna."
"...Age... age doesn't matter... I'm young too, but..."
"And I've got quite a few women."
"...What?"
Kim Hanna tilted her head, and I only smiled. I couldn't explain the details here. The bus might turn into a riot. She asked as if it had never once crossed her mind that I might be a Multimale. Give her the number and my Instagram would come up anyway; she'd understand once she saw it. When I quietly reached over and took her phone, expectation rose on her face and she burned red.
"But why do you keep it in there?"
"Ah, that's... kind of a habit..."
"Huh. You don't lose it?"
"...N-not really... You don't... think it's gross...?"
If anything, her face said she was more worried about the size of her own chest. From the feel of it, this was nowhere near an ordinary size. At least Rahi's, by the look of things. It didn't quite have that dense, springy richness Rahi's did, but maybe because she was young it was incredibly firm, and the way it filled the hand—ah, hell. Down. Now.
"No. I like them big. You're slender, so looking at you... about a 65C? A full one, too, right?"
I murmured it while writing in my number, and Kim Hanna flinched, then started to hiccup.
"...H-how did you..."
"I've got a pretty good eye."
I pressed the call button, showed her it had connected to my phone, and handed the smartphone back. She was staring at me in a daze, so I gave her a quiet smile and spoke.
"Have a good day today, too. Practice hard."
"Um, um, oppa..."
"Yeah?"
"When... gulp... can I see you...?"
Maybe because the sluice on showing what she wanted had already opened, she was remarkably forward. There was a sly, tempting side to her after all. I was sorry, but I couldn't promise her anything. The weekend was already packed solid, and on the weekdays next week I had to go look at houses. Truth was, even setting the weekend aside, things were already too tight.
"It'd be hard to make a plan right this moment."
"...Th-then... is it all right if I contact you...?"
"That's why I gave it to you. But I probably won't be easy to reach."
"Th-that's okay. I don't mind... Even if it's late, if you just... reply..."
"All right, then. But aren't there better-looking men at your company?"
I'd said company in case anyone nearby was listening, but at my words Kim Hanna's eyes only went soft and hazy.
"...O-oppa is cooler."
"Thanks for saying so, even if you're just being nice."
"...But it's true. The way you talk is so... grown-up..."
"That's because I really am an old man."
"Not at all. Really, you feel like an oppa..."
Just then the bus stopped, and that was as far as the conversation could go. I smiled and waved. Kim Hanna swallowed, clutched the phone tight in one hand, and waved her long, slender hand back, awkward about it.
...Hah.
To think I had to get on this bus again, crammed like bean sprouts in a jar. For Rahi's sake alone, I really needed a car. A used one I could get right away, but the moment I pictured Rahi, Hyunji, and the other women riding in it, buying secondhand started to sit wrong.
If it were only me, used would be fine.
I clicked my tongue and tried to remember where the dealerships were. There was a stretch in the neighborhood where they clustered. I'd have to look into it after the café. They said delivery took a while anyway, so settling the price and the contract ought to be enough. Still.
Am I spilling myself around too freely?
Truth was, I hadn't meant to give Kim Hanna my number. She was young. Too young. And if her age got knocked down in the reckoning anytime soon, that would put her at twenty. No—if her birthday fell late enough, she might even be nineteen. I needed to be a little careful.
Well. Whatever. I'll just ask later.
And I had no desire to board that bus again, a bibimbap of mountain greens with every scent tossed in together. It wasn't that Hanna hadn't given me a brief bit of fun, but that muddle of perfume was simply impossible to endure. I flagged the taxi passing right in front of me and headed for the café.
"Oh, you're here?"
"Sorry. I'm late."
The moment I stepped inside, the packed house of customers smiled and greeted me, but first I apologized to Ju Hayeong, who was pulling coffee in a rush.
"You're only five minutes late. Put your apron on and come."
"Right. Ah—hello. You're here again."
"Yes..."
"Sorry. Something came up today. Still, the boss's coffee beats mine, doesn't it?"
"...Ah, no. Your coffee is delicious too, Shinwoo..."
"You don't have to force it."
I traded a few light words with the regulars whose faces I was starting to know, then ducked into the office, threw my apron on in a hurry, and came back out. Switching places with Ju Hayeong, I whispered.
"I'm not going today, so just know that."
"...Ah... mm..."
Seeing her flush and lower her eyes to answer in a small voice, I could tell she had come in hoping. She was cute enough like that that I stroked her backside where the customers couldn't see, then went to the register and started taking orders.
"I'll take your order."
I slipped on the wrist guard at the register and smiled at the woman standing in front of me, but what came back was not a coffee order.
"...Um, Sh-Shinwoo..."
"Yes?"
"Um, this..."
What she held out was a small square box, more than a grown man's handspan across, with a red ribbon on it.
"What's this?"
"...A g-gift... You even joined our Band group... and when you said you wouldn't take a thank-you fee, all of us were so moved..."
"Oh. Something like this is all right, but."
"W-we almost sent it to your house. It's absolutely nothing strange, really. I was just passing by, and it seemed like it would suit you..."
I looked at the woman speaking in a tense voice, swallowing between her words, then at the women waiting behind her, who weren't hurrying their orders at all, their eyes full of quiet expectation. I more or less understood. I'd said I didn't need the money, so they'd brought this instead.
"Looks like you got volunteered."
"...Ah... yes. I won at rock-paper-scissors..."
"I only ever talked about the money and never said a word about gifts. But please don't do this from now on. I'm already grateful that you come in for a cup of coffee."
"...Shinwoo..."
She looked ready to tear up from being moved, and I nearly sighed without meaning to. All of this was a debt. I quietly accepted the gift box. I hadn't imagined they would give me a present. I wasn't the sort who gave or received gifts easily, which made it worse, and since I'd never said anything about it, refusing felt awkward. Better to take this one and tell them not to do it again.
"Understood? Just this once. I'll post it on Band, too."
"...Yes. Sniff."
"And stop crying. It's all right if I open it later, right?"
"Of course. Thank you for accepting it..."
"Not at all. I'm the one who's grateful. So what can I get you? It's on me."
Her eyes went round and she waved me off, but I'd taken something. If you're a person and you've received, you give something back.
"Ah, no! It's fine."
"It's not fine with me. If anything, I'm sorry for trying to square it with a single coffee."
"It's not like that at all..."
"Don't be like that. Last time you had a café mocha, didn't you?"
"Ah, yes..."
"Today it's on me. Thank you for the gift."
"...Ah..."
I smiled at the woman, who looked ready to cry from being moved all over again, and went to the espresso machine myself. Ju Hayeong was smiling too, as if she'd seen the whole thing; she stepped aside and moved to the register. I made a café mocha and held it out, but as ever, my work with the whipped cream and syrup still left something to be desired.
"It's not very pretty. Want me to make it again?"
"Ah, no! I'll enjoy it. Thank you, really..."
"I should be thanking you. All right, next order."
Then the woman who had been smiling behind her, face flushed as if the moment were her own, stepped up and began to order. The first carried the coffee I'd made as if it were precious, went to her seat, and took dozens of photos. Far from finding it unpleasant, I felt sorry. I should have made it prettier.