Lee Hyunji

"Your dessert will be out shortly. How was the meal?"

"Wonderful. As good as ever."

"It was my first time, but it was delicious."

"Thank you. Please enjoy the rest of your evening."

"We will."

The server bowed politely and withdrew from the table. Hyunji was smiling a soft, helpless little smile at her phone, and a photo she had sent popped up on mine. We finished the dessert that came out last, and I checked the time. We would need to leave soon.

"Want to head out? It's seven-thirty."

"Shall we get going?"

"Yeah. Let's."

We left the restaurant at an easy pace and started walking. When I had tried to pay and held my card out first, she had looked genuinely shocked and thrust her own card forward with everything she had, so I had clicked my tongue and put my wallet away. Ever since that little victory, though, a full, bright smile had been sitting on her face.

Cute, though.

Once again Hyunji's slender fingers brushed across the back of my hand and slipped past. I had already lost count of how many times. When I gently caught the hand that kept hesitating over whether it was allowed to take mine, a faint blush rose on her face all over again. Those thin fingers fidgeting against my palm felt as if they might snap if I held them wrong.

"......I'm being too timid, aren't I?"

"Hm?"

"Because I don't act very much like a woman......"

"No. I actually like it."

"......Thank you for saying that."

"I mean it. I'm not exactly manly either, am I?"

"......I suppose that's true. You almost feel like a dependable girlfriend."

"Did you hate that?"

"No. I liked it, actually."

"Me too."

"......Hehe."

Before I knew it, Hyunji's long arm had wound softly around mine. With her arm linked from behind, I naturally ended ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠up walking about a step ahead. It felt perfectly natural to me, but to everyone around us it must have looked fairly strange. A few women even pointed at us, looked Hyunji up and down, and passed by snickering. The murmuring made me glance at her, but she paid it no mind at all and laced her fingers through mine.

"Interlocked fingers mean something a little different."

"......Does it bother you?"

"No. Think you can handle it? You might regret this."

She flinched at that, but she didn't let go.

"......That's my line, isn't it?"

"Oh. That was almost womanly of you."

"Hehe."

"But you don't have to force it."

"......Like you said earlier?"

"Yeah. You're you, and I'm me. I don't think we need to dress any of it up. That's personality. That's the charm."

"......That's dangerous."

"Hm?"

"It's nothing. I'm just worried. A good man like you, Oppa—do you have any idea how dangerous that is these days? There are so many truly awful women out there."

"Funny you say that. I got a real shock on the way here today."

"Why?"

"There was an actual groper on the subway."

At that, Hyunji, who had been leaning into my arm, startled hard and looked at me.

"Really? Were you all right, Oppa?"

"Huh? Yeah. It was nothing. They just copped a feel on my butt."

"Th-that's insane. Hhh."

"Oh. First time I've heard you swear."

"D-does that matter? Were you hurt anywhere?"

"No. I'm fine."

"......Don't take the subway anymore."

"In Seoul? Be serious. You might as well tell me to cut my legs off."

"I don't want you to, so don't."

It was a completely unreasonable sulk, and somehow it was cute. So this was the charm of dating someone younger.

"......This is my fault for saying we should see a play."

"How is that your fault? I told you it was nothing."

"They touched your butt! I—I haven't even gotten to touch—hhh."

"......Wait. That was the part that bothered you? And here I thought you were worried about me."

"N-no! I am worried, you know......?"

"You realize it's already too late, right?"

I leaned down toward her and whispered.

"Then do you want to touch it now?"

"......!! Oppa!"

"Shouldn't you be a singer instead of a ballerina? Ah—my eardrum."

"Y-you can't just say things like that!"

"Why not? You said you wanted to touch."

"......It was a slip of the tongue."

"Huh. Really?"

"I mean it, you know?"

"Then do you want to touch my chest?"

"......Eek!!"

The way her whole face flushed at once was quite a sight. Ah, I really did love teasing her. To think I could get her with something this small.

"What are you going to do if I actually touch you?"

"Hm? Go ahead."

Under the glare she shot me, I quietly eased my coat open. The moment I twisted at the waist, her hands flew up in a panic and shoved the coat shut again.

"......I'm sorry."

"Good. So no fighting back. Just be good and let yourself get teased."

"......This is annoying. Something feels off."

"Why are you that embarrassed, though? Ballet must involve plenty of physical contact."

"......I go to a women's college."

"Ah, right. High school, then?"

"It was a girls' high school."

"......Usually, if the pattern holds, that means a girls' middle school too......?"

"......Yes."

I couldn't bring myself to mention the military. I looked at her with a bit of pity and nodded, and her face heated all over again.

"You poor thing."

"......Grr! Seriously."

We walked on like that, me teasing her, and before I knew it we had reached the alley where the little theaters clustered. True to Daehangno, the crowds were enormous. I looked at the line stretching on without end and sighed. At least it wasn't that cold.

"This way, Oppa."

"Hm?"

"We don't have to wait in line."

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I followed the tug of her hand toward a staff member standing beside the box office. They exchanged a few words, and the staff member looked at me and bowed. I returned the greeting in a fluster, and we walked on through the iron door.

"Is this really all right?"

"It's a privilege for people who know someone in the cast. We'll have to stop by somewhere for a minute, though......"

"Sure. Thanks to you, I don't have to stand out there shivering."

"Thank you. Um, and it might get a little noisy. I—I can handle it. Please don't worry too much."

"......? All right."

Hyunji stepped up to the door, drew a quiet breath, and knocked.

The noise on the other side could easily have swallowed the knock, but the moment we opened the door and stepped in, I saw exactly the kind of actors' dressing room I knew from TV and YouTube: performers in this and that stage of makeup, talking among themselves. Every one of them was a woman. The instant Hyunji and I appeared, the chatting actresses' eyes locked onto us. Onto me, to be precise.

"Oh, Hyunji's he—huh?"

"Wait. A man......?"

"H-Hyunji brought a man!"

"Hyunji brought a man!"

"Girls' middle school, girls' high school, women's college, nothing left but the army—and Hyunji brought a man!"

"Hyunji brought a man......!"

"A-ah, stop iiit!"

The uproar started as if on cue. It was absolutely on cue. I knew even teasing had an aesthetic, and I could feel it—the moment our eyes met, the shouting began, and not a single voice overlapped. I laughed before I could stop myself. It seemed like a troupe with a good atmosphere. I had missed the moment to introduce myself, so the greeting was late, and I was just opening my mouth when they cut in.

"He's laughing?"

"Unni, this guy is laughing."

"Laughing at us?"

"That reaction wasn't in the forecast."

"Should we change the scenario?"

"Yeah. Tease-Hyunji, route three."

"That hard?"

"I think he'll play along."

"He's fucking adorable. How old is he?"

"A-ah, you're so loud! Where's Teacher?"

"Does Teacher matter right now?"

"Teacher's probably upstairs, still breathing. Who cares about that—so who is he? This cute little friend?"

"Ah, go away!"

"No. No. Hnn! Haa. That sweet man-smell. I want to lick him."

"You sound like an actual pervert!"

"Look at that skin. No makeup. God, so soft. What would he taste like?"

"No idea about the flavor, but diabetes is guaranteed."

"Hey, what did Hyunji taste like?"

"Chewy?"

"It probably hurt. There's nothing to her but bone."

"Assaulting a man is ten years minimum, isn't it? Then our Hyunji won't have to go to the army."

"Then after Hyunji goes to prison, when she gets lonely, how about she calls me?"

"Forget that old hag. What about me? Ooh. I'm kind of killer."

"I've got the best pussy in this troupe, you know."

"With my tongue, three rounds would be nothing."

"Why are you all like this today! This ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠is embarrassing! You've lost it! I mean it! I'm calling the police, I mean it!"

She had talked big about being able to handle it, but from where I stood she was being spun like a pinwheel. Every one of them was dead serious about teasing her. They were also, ever so casually, sexually harassing me—though they had no way of knowing that, to me, this much barely ranked as a compliment. Maybe I ought to lend her a hand. I slipped quietly behind Hyunji, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled her in. It was a slender waist, not even a handful. It was astonishing that a full set of organs could fit inside it, and this was after a meal. She weighed next to nothing. At my pull she fluttered like a butterfly and tucked neatly into my arms. I could feel her holding her breath against me.

"Forgive me, but I'm Hyunji's man today."

"......"

"......What?"

"......What did I just hear?"

"What does he think he's doing in front of his unnies?"

"What is that? This is the troupe, right? That is Hyunji, right?"

"Hyunji. If you need fresh panties, say the word."

"One vote for she already came."

"Two ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠votes."

"I'm next, me!"

"After her, I'm next!"

Hyunji squirmed in my arms, trying to escape, so I drew my coat around her and covered her.

"I'll check Hyunji's panties later and take care of it myself. I'm single, so the spot beside me is open and I'm taking reservations. You'll probably have to wait a while, though. She's cute in a naive sort of way, so I think I'll play with her for the time being. Please take good care of us."

"......Fuck. He's exactly my type."

"Uh. I think I just got wet."

"Can't I put in a request too?"

"Please. If you're taking her anyway, take some of us with you."

"Buy one, get one is the law. Take responsibility."

"So where do we take a number?"

"He's fucking bold. Give me a ticket too."

"How much? What's the price on that waiting ticket?"

"Why is it so loud in here?"

A middle-aged woman's voice came through as a door beyond the dressing room opened. At once the actresses rose and offered their greetings, as if they had never been making a scene at all. I slowly let Hyunji, who was breathing in soft little gasps, out of my arms. Her face was bright red, her breath sweet, her eyes hazed and unfocused.

"Teacher, you're here."

"Teacher, oh my god, Hyunji—"

"Look, look. Goodness, that girl is completely undone. Look at her face, right in front of Teacher."

"She's gone. That one's already gone."

"A second ago she was sniff-sniffing a man's armpit."

"Come back, Hyunji. Go any further and you won't make it back."

"Look at her. Her face has gone completely slack and melted."

"It's over. A cute ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠little vibrator isn't going to cut it anymore."

"We'll have to get her a vicious dildo for her next birthday."

"Aigoo, enough noise."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Right. It suddenly got loud, so I came down, and this is what I find."

I quietly bowed my head to the woman standing before us with her hands clasped behind her back, someone who seemed to sit right on the border between middle age and old age. Hyunji went to her and folded into her arms.

"Grandma."

"Did you forget this is the troupe? Call me Teacher. And I owe our guest an apology. You came all this way, and our girls are a bit mischievous. I hope you weren't offended."

"Not at all. I was actually a little nervous, but they welcomed me so entertainingly that I enjoyed myself."

"......Hm. I see. I was starting to think that if we drove off another male guest, we might need an exorcism."

At that, the actresses standing behind me flinched and began watching my face. Oho. So the hilt of the knife was in my hand.

"Yes. They did seem to go a little past sincere when it came to teasing Hyunji."

A flinch.

"They tried to cross the line, too. It was for the sake of teasing her, I suppose, but some of the jokes aimed at me came close enough to sexual harassment that they struck me as excessive."

A flinch. A hard swallow.

I glanced quietly behind me and found the actresses already sweating at the temples. That ought to about do it.

"Even so, it felt affectionate, and it was nice to see. They seem like sisters to Miss Hyunji. Between sisters, there are things one can understand. Ah, and I wasn't particularly upset myself."

"......I see. If someone meeting them for the first time says so, then that's how it must be. All of you—shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"Yes, Teacher."

The actresses streamed past me and out of the dressing room, nodding or sending me winks as they went. Thanks, you've got sense, I was serious—I only smiled and nodded at the whispers. Only after they had gone did the manner of speech change in the middle-aged woman Hyunji had called Grandma.