Conversation
"……The back……."
"……Ah."
"It's so embarrassing, but…… I don't want to make you hold back, Shinwoo……."
Maybe it was the morning. Maybe it was Rahi's face, flushed with shame even as she said something that bold. Either way, my head went blank for a second. From the moment she woke, blushing and telling me we ought to get ready for anal, I found myself quietly stroking her breasts. There wasn't a hint of worry that I might go looking for another woman. If anything, Rahi was using her whole body to show how afraid she was that I might stop coming to her at all.
"……Haa……."
"Are you really sure? From the sound of it, you've looked into this too."
"……Yes. Back then I…… I just thought we could do it right away……."
"Be honest with me. Are you actually interested in doing it that way?"
"……Yes……."
But that answer wasn't the truth. It wasn't the sense that let her feelings reach me—I'd been trying not to lean on that, at least not with anyone I trusted. Her eyes alone were enough to tell me the answer had been a lie. If it had really been Rahi, she would have answered drowning in shame, not knowing what to do with herself. The gaze fixed on me now held very little embarrassment. It was closer to resolve.
"……I told you to be honest."
"……Ah……."
Startled, Rahi hurriedly caught my cheek and rushed on. What spilled out of her in that panic, though, filled my chest with satisfaction.
"N-no, that's not it! It's you, Shinwoo. I'm afraid you'll get tired of my body……."
"……You thought that?"
"……I've been begging you so much lately……. I'm scared……."
"Of what?"
"That you'll get bored of me……. If I get pregnant, my body will fall apart too……. I'm so scared you won't come looking for me……."
Tears welled in her eyes as she went on, her face aching with it.
"I really wasn't trying to lie. I thought if I said I liked it, you'd be happy……."
"So you're not interested at all?"
"……No. I really am a little interested……."
That one felt true. Closer to curiosity than anything else—and unlike the way she was in ordinary life, the way she blushed in bed, wearing the face of an innocent girl who didn't know men, was Rahi's charm itself. Her tone was still that of a blunt, athletic girl, and the gap between the two drove me out of my mind. I was never going to make her fix the way she talked. If anything, it was a shame she'd started sounding like Hyunji lately.
"All right."
"……Okay……."
"I've gotten bigger all of a sudden these days, so the prep's going to take a while. It'll be hard."
"……I think so. Ah, inside it's so full it feels like it's going to burst……."
The timing was perfect. I'd been waiting for a moment to ask as naturally as I could, so I didn't hesitate. I'd grown nearly two inches longer than before, and the girth had swelled just as dramatically, so I'd been keeping things to rear entry as much as I could, careful not to let her see it. Even so, once I'd been inside her, there was no way she wouldn't have noticed.
"Does it feel strange?"
"No……. It's just……."
Rahi, who'd been stealing glances at me, quietly stroked my chest and whispered.
"……I thought it meant you like me that much, and I…… I love that……."
She smiled, small and shy, and her cheeks went red. Just in case, I took the facts, added a little fabrication, and said it as if it were nothing.
"Part of it's because you're pretty. And once you get used to sex, it does get a bit bigger."
"I've heard that. That it changes depending on how excited a man is……. And that it keeps changing the more you get used to it……. I just didn't think the difference would be this big……."
"……Yeah. Something like that."
It was nonsense, of course. I knew that once a man got used to sex the skin could thicken, the size could grow a little, or some hidden length could show itself—but that was only a very little, and only for a chosen few. Which meant—
Women not knowing the first thing about men is actually a blessing for me.
When I'd first been with a woman, I'd been genuinely shocked to learn a bad period could last two weeks. And any man who'd gone through a partner's irregular cycle for the first time knew that particular fear. This felt a little like that.
"Lately, I understand……."
"Understand what?"
"Why women have this instinct to keep touching men, to get them excited……. I think it's because of this. At school they teach that it's a woman's desire to get pregnant……. I don't think that's it……."
The way she put it reminded me of the old claim that breasts grow if you touch them enough, and I went on quietly stroking hers. I was no different.
"Haaahn……."
"Then why do you think they do it?"
"……Because of this kind of satisfaction, I think……."
"You too?"
"……Of course. Even now……. Even now I want to touch you so badly……."
"You already are."
"……Even while I'm touching you, I still want to……. That's how it is……."
"Same for me."
I fondled her lush, full breasts again, and the moment a dainty nipple caught on my finger she curled in on herself and let a moan slip out.
"Hahn……."
"If I keep touching you like this, you might get bigger too."
"……Like you……?"
When she smiled and asked me that, I knew my guess had been right. So that was it. Maybe I didn't need to worry after all. Now that I thought about it, Hyunji had never said anything felt strange either.
"……Would you like them bigger……?"
"Are you thinking about surgery?"
"……D-do you prefer them big, like that woman from back then……?"
I knew exactly who she meant. She probably hadn't heard the conversation, but she would have been watching us from the building. So this world had enlargement surgery too.
"No. Absolutely not. Your breasts are so pretty. Don't touch them. Unless they grow because I'm the one touching them."
"……Okay……. Touch them as much as you want……."
"And if I get even bigger, what are you going to do?"
Her eyes went round. She smiled, drew my neck in, and pressed a light kiss to my mouth.
"……You like me that much?"
"Of course. I want to pin you down right now."
"……Y-yesterday, the first time, I didn't pass out……."
She squirmed, rubbing her thighs together—she was getting wet. And I knew perfectly well that what she'd just said was as good as telling me she could take it.
"After I barely held on to my sanity."
"……I'm disappointed……. Should we just rest today?"
"You know too. This is an important time."
"……Yeah……."
It wasn't a simple sulk, and I knew that, so I quietly stroked her cheek and soothed her. I wasn't sure it would help, but maybe I could leave her a little something to look forward to.
"And I told you. From now on, whenever I have the time, I'm going to torment you."
"……You don't have time for that these days……."
A shadow fell over her disappointed face. Looking at her, I kept toying with her breast and whispered.
"I'll see if I can find some."
"……Okay. I'll be waiting—hahn……. I'll be here."
"Be ready."
"……I'm looking forward to it."
At Rahi's small, shy smile I smiled back and stroked her cheek. She leaned into my hand and closed her eyes, those long lashes lowering over them, and I thought that at this rate I was going to fall for her completely.
"I've got plans with Hyunji and Yewon this weekend. I think I need to spend it with them."
"Ah. I heard. She says it doesn't hurt anymore."
"She's better?"
"Yes. Since yesterday she's been saying she's fine. She's really looking forward to it. She talks about you all day."
In the eyes watching me there was still only gratitude, a quiet pride, and affection. It would be a problem if they expected too much. But right now Rahi mattered more to me than Yewon.
"Does it bother you that I didn't tell you myself?"
"No. Not at all. You just told me. And…… thank you so much for being kind to Yewon……."
"You grumble about her all the time. Friends are still friends, huh?"
"……Yes……. Shinwoo."
"Hm?"
She'd been looking at me with that warm gaze. Still smiling, she stroked my cheek and went on.
"From now on, you don't have to tell us things like that. Me, Hyunji, and the cafe owner too, I think. Yewon's just like that, so she won't even care."
"Why? If you wait and I don't show up, won't you be hurt? Yesterday was like that too."
"Not at all. I wait for you because I want to. Thinking about how surprised you'll be when you get here, or how happy. And…… no. The others will feel the same. You should do whatever you want, Shinwoo, and see whoever you want to see."
Even as she looked at me with that unwavering gaze, her cheeks had already flushed pink.
"And I'm curious what you were about to say next."
"……If you know I was waiting, you'll definitely come find me."
"……Come here."
It was a little regrettable that all I could give a line that cute was a kiss. I held her and kissed her deeply, and she met my mouth at once, arms coming around me. When I slowly drew my face back, she looked at me, flushed to the ears, and whispered.
"……Like this. I was right, wasn't I."
"Correct."
"I think about you a lot too, you know."
"Seems like it."
I knew perfectly well that most of what we called conversation these days happened like this, lying in bed. But neither Rahi nor Hyunji showed any sign of minding. If anything, they clearly loved it.
"These days we only talk in bed."
"……Does that bother you? I love it……."
"You're sure? You don't want to talk at a cafe, or while we're out on a date?"
"……I like this better. In this moment, you're mine……. It feels like we're the only two people in the world, and I love that."
"I'm yours the rest of the time too."
There was a little possessiveness in her words, but none at all in her eyes. This much obsession didn't even reach Hyunji's toes, and Hyunji's own was practically just being cute. It was only natural once affection took root. Rather, the look she gave me was one that made me feel good all over. At my words her face went scarlet, and she swallowed. Then, as if she didn't know what to do with herself, she looked at me and stroked my face.
"……You always drive me crazy with a single sentence……."
"Should I apologize?"
"……Not at all. I love it so, so much……. So much I wonder if it's okay to like it this much……."
"Me too."
It was a shame I had to be the one to end a moment when the mood was this perfect. It was getting dangerously late. Rahi seemed to know it too. She sighed, thick with regret, and hugged me tight.
"Let's get ready. Want to shower first? I'll take you today."
I had to get the van back so Eunchae could use it. A round trip would eat into the morning, so I ought to message Ju Hayeong that I might be late.
"……Okay……."
"I'll leave coffee out."
"I really don't want to get up……."
"Even so. If you don't get up soon, you'll be late. And you forget every single time. Not that I mind."
"……Ah! Agh……."
Rahi tried to bolt upright, then clutched her lower belly and whimpered. We'd gone twice yesterday, so it would be worse. I reached down in a hurry to check. Surely she wasn't hurt. But there was no Ailment Shadow. So this wasn't pain? Then just how much had Hyunji been hurting?
"Does it hurt a lot?"
"N-no……. It feels good. It still feels like you're inside……."
"Still. Your face says otherwise."
"……It's just like that. Please don't worry so much. Really."
"All right. Still, take it slow. Don't tense up all at once."
"Okay……. Agh……."
The moment she rose from the bed she let out a moan and clutched her lower belly, her hips tipping faintly toward me. The pearly white fluid spilling from her and running down those firm thighs stopped my breath cold.